Like You’ve Been Told – 25th October 1983

Spraying on deodorant, splashing on Brut 33
You must be a man, you must be a man
Not like me
Never consider wearing makeup
That’s for girls you know
But it’s what you’ve been told, it makes you so bold
You must be a man, you must be a man
You must be normal, not like I am
Suave and sophisticated, cool and dedicated
Manly and handsome, holding girls to ransom
Keep up your image and comb your hair
You look so false but I don’t care
Cos it’s your fault that I don’t like you
And many people are going off you too
The smell is overpowering
Getting up my nose
And the tumour gets bigger
As the cancer grows

12th May 2023 – I found the advertising to the sexual archetypes nauseating. I couldn’t understand why what you wore, looked like, smelled like etc was more important than your behaviour and the way you treated people (not that I was any good at that either!).

Marry Harry – 21st October 1983

You’re at the altar
Just about to marry
You worship Hari Krishna
Committing harikari

11th May 2023 – Until I was about 25 I swore I wouldn’t marry. Since then I’ve been married three times and although love was involved in all of them they were essentially just to get visas. One for me to stay in Australia and the second and third for my wives to stay in Australia.

Patience – 20th October 1983

I’ll lose my patience
You’re trying me
I’ll have to take stringent action
You’ll see
“Quiet, you lot of rabble
Or else you’ll be in deep trouble”
‘Patience, sir, is a fuckin’ virtue’
“Just shut up or I’ll fuckin’ hurt you”

8th May 2023 – I think this would have also been inspired by Mr Hayward who often made useless threats to us students. We did surely test his patience in every class. It was totally a game to us.

Paddy Wagon – 17th October 1983

Paddy paddy paddy wagon
Take you to the nick
Paddy paddy paddy wagon
Do just the trick
Arrested from all hope
At last night’s do
It was a fun party
Til the coppers joined in too

7th May 2023 – This possibly connects to a great party at someone’s house in Colehill. I think it was someone I vaguely knew from a year or two below me in school. It was fun for a while, a big house with lots of rooms to discover, parents away.
But it got boring watching the trendy kids dance to mind-numbing disco crap so I went around to find rooms empty of people and started stealing little bits and pieces that might go unnoticed for a while. As I got more into it though I started taking more.
The next day I heard that the police had been called to come and investigate and I waited at home wondering if I would get arrested. Nothing came of it in the end though. My apologies to any of the kids that I may have traumatised.