“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Well Dressed Comedian
You thought you were smart
I thought you were just funny
I know you didn’t have a heart
When I saw you take all that money
But not mine – ha ha ha
100% Lovable
Hug me, hug me, give me a kiss
Anything from you would be absolute bliss
This feeling is incredible
You’re cuddleable – 100% lovable
Today’s the day for the family outing
Always the same – Mum and Dad shouting
Where’s the gloves – my hands will get cold
Come on darling, you’ve already been told
So the family ride off into the sun
At last the family outing has begun
Some hunters decided to spoil their fun
Shot them dead, every single one
Heaven is a Slag
This sure ain’t my idea of paradise
If this is heaven, it sure is a slag
All those promises sounded so nice
But I get the feeling I’ve been had
This is Great
This is bigger than the both of us
We just operate with minimum fuss
This is great, at least I think it is
This is great, at least it should be
That is what you told me
Now you’ve got a hold of me
Doorstep
I stood on your doorstep
Thought I’d been here before
For a second I wasn’t sure
So I knocked on the door
Come on in, you said
I left the doorstep behind
And warmth and comfort I did find
These crazy ideas are just in my mind
Whole
Have you a concept
Of the vastness of the planet?
There’s just so many things going on
I don’t understand how can it?
My own world is so small
And so is yours as well
I wonder if it will be like this
In either heaven or hell?
Gravity Time
This picture isn’t moving
But everything is living
They are just hanging up there
Just hanging in the air
You can watch your friends die
In slow motion
The blink of an eye
Could be no motion
And it could last forever
Mr Wonderful
Hey, did I ever tell you how good you were?
Did I ever mention about your lovely hair?
You know your girlfriends are always the best
All of this and don’t forget the rest
Did I ever tell you you’re Mr Wonderful?
No? I guess I just forgot
Perfect House
The cats don’t spill their food
And the floors are clean
There’s absolutely no dust here
It’s just a perfect dream
But this was just an advert
I’m sure this can’t be true
Mr and Mrs Happy are getting divorced
And the house was split in two
Welcome Back to Aggro
He here is, my genuine friend
His violence will reign in the end
A fist and a boot to see him through
Hasn’t got anything better to do
And no one will help him
And no one can help us
Herbert the Hedgehog
Herbert was my special friend
He spiked his hair just like me
Every single place I went
He would follow me
Until that day I bought a car
I did travel wide and far
I saw my friend crossing the road
And I mistook him for a bastard toad
Oh my god! Was that Herbert?
His guts had been turned to sherbet
Herbert the Hedgehog is no more
Now he’s stuck to the floor
SickSadSorry
I was sick as a parrot
I was sad and depressed
Now I’m really sorry
I’m not at my best
Sicksadsorry
Sicksadsorry
Waiting For You
Just waiting for you to call
I didn’t have to wait at all
But something said I should hang on
Now I hope you don’t prove me wrong
Coming Down
Coming down off the ecstasy
Just plain torture and agony
Leslie Crowther once said to me
Come on down and be happy
But all the money in the whole wide world
Won’t change a thing
Reasonably Pissed A.M.
Hair of the dog
Half-past ten
Reasonably pissed a.m.
Sat on the bog
Here we go again
Reasonably pissed a.m.
Midday sun arises
Been up since god knows when
My memory’s really fading man
Reasonably something then
Little Fat Lady
Little fat lady, some might say a tent
Can you count up all the money you’ve spent
Do you remember your lovely holiday in Kent?
When he said OK do you know what he meant?
Did he ever recieve the flowers that you sent?
Ladies and gentlemen I have the pleasure to present
Little fat lady you maybe a little bent
Childs Play
Your kid is now aged three
Twenty years younger than you or me
Do you think that you’re happy
Do you think your child will be happy?
What have you to offer
Nothing that I can see
I’m really glad
That child isn’t me
Red
Bright spark
You took my little red riding manhood
All is dark
I know you’d light me up if you could
Boy At Corner
Boy stood waiting at the corner of the church
Smoked a cigarette which made him feel worse
Said they should meet for a final encounter
Said he just couldn’t live without her
Put A Sock In It
Shaddup, shaddup
You got nothing to say
Why say it again?
I’ve heard it anyway
Put a sock in it
Eat my feet
You’re the shoe
I was bound to meet
Like a bonsai
You cut me
Ah, shaddup
You don’t know what you’re talking about
Sugarlump
Would you like some tea?
Yes please. One lump or three?
You were always so sweet to me
More like a plum than cherry
We’re going to build our nest here
And we’ll call it our home
We will have a clutch of eggs
To call our very own
And our children will carry on
1994ever 