They’re classless, matchless, ageless and waterproof – 31st May 1994

Once again an action packed weekend. It could be I’m trying to cram as much in as possible and make the best of my time left here – I’d be insane if I only had three months left to live.

Well, dudes, here’s the news I have to relate. Friday I made a conscious effort to relax and forget about things and me, Broni and Kerry went to see the excellent ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’ at the wonderful Odeon. A good film but fuck when are cinemas going to give us beds to lay on to watch a film (it makes sense to me and my back)? We was in mad rush before we got to cinema and didn’t have time to drink our bottle of Champagne pre film so laid into it 11 P.M. (after much convincing on Broni’s part as I had to work in the morning). When I say Champagne, it’s really just sparkling wine but we play better than we are.

We talked over Miles Davis in the room two-candled, only attentions turned romantic and I couldn’t help but kiss my baby’s soft fleshy smooth torso till urges became uncontrollable and 10 seconds after climax we were both sleep in separate dreamworlds still wrapped arm in arm.

The hangover hit about an hour after I got up and I soldiered through a dull morning at work before making it home, then to travel agent to deposit our tickets when Broni turns up, new green D.M.’s and face all a-grin (spending money makes her happy) and we laughed as we packed up stuff for out weekend to come.

We searched for food to no avail on journeys meandering track, Broni playing camera girl all the while. Soon to pick up Rob and highway hit through to Chichester to find Mick and Lisa on their new residence. On it because it’s a floater. A houseboat on an old canal and it was a beautiful place in the sun and a very relaxing atmosphere. We all agreed it’d be the pits in winter though.

We chatted and caught up on things since last time, before Lisa had to go off to work in the pub, the rest of us decided to walk round the bay to the pub which was an eventful journey where we all basically ended up with wet feet, Jesus-footing ourselves across sodden grass from high tide.

After beer and nosh and talk and Ray turning up we hot tailed it back to the little house on the water actually coming close to video our own deaths in a drunken car crash that thankfully didn’t happen, the people in the other car must have shit themselves! Once back Lisa rolls a continuous supply of pure grass joints and we make drunken videos of ourselves till 2 in the A.M.

They said our youth was dead, how could they know? – 25th May 1994

Fucking fuck – five days fly fast through time and motion I can’t keep up and I have no idea where I am in this world right now! Jeez, and found myself jumping at the Joiners again last night (slightly sad because Broni-less and work fed up-ness but such good contrast to go from shit at work to fun with friends).

Anyway coolness abounded again tonight with Thirst, The Zimmer Frames and Bedlam Hour playing cool songs to cool crowd with some madcap dancing and smiles aplenty. Wished I was in better mood because I couldn’t really communicate much ‘cept a bit to Rob. Tried striking up a convo with some dude I saw last week and this time bought a Blake Babies LP off me and, fuck, I couldn’t believe, it I started talking to him and then just finished up. Will take more time to talk to him next time for sure.

Been thinking about that all day, with the million other things flying around my tiny mind – can you tell from these erratic sentences, jumbled along, to some sense.

The weekend was cool, playing tennis and watching movies (Wendy Cracked A Walnut, Naked Gun 33 1/3, and Sea of Love). Get this – booking our tickets for September 27th – £530 each – polishing off two bottles of champagne Sunday night and jumping all over to Cardiacs and – get this second time – buying a camcorder! Been on our minds sometime now.

You know, I can’t remember what I wrote last week but can remember two months ago. Blistering blurred blind vision head down head-up hammering steam train 100mph no holds barred head fuck. Goddamn my baby Broni must love me some to put up with this shit. Dudes, take care.


26th May 1994 : Quick note at the end of the day. Still mad million thoughts but more cohesive and more productive. Whew!

28th May 1994 : Just a brief mention for feedback and delay. Things start to take on more significance as time passes by, f’instance, take 25th of May entry re Bedlam Hour’s fine gig – now seems to hold much more value for me than it did at the time (note how fed up I sounded) and the same with Trumans Water Newport effort – gawd such a mad rush to get there and make sure we had a good time for our troubles it’s not until later you get to realise what kind of impact it has on you.

Times travelling faster than me this month/section of lifetime and maybe it’s not till I settle somewhere more permanently that I’ll be able to reflect on what exactly it all means. Delay and feedback. Current reflections echo love and energy.

Scrape the cake from faces ’til they’re raw and bloodied
Use their gristled blood to grease our tracks
Take their speaking money for an understudy
Stick a bony finger down their gullets ’til they vomit up the past

It’s going to be a fine night tonight, it’s going to be a fine day tomorrow – look at the sky – 19th May 1994

Yum yum yum – life’s here for eating up. Not that I’d lost any faith in people but had I done so it would’ve been restored by last night’s events. Well, start at the beginning somewhere.

Last night was another trip up to the Joiners and this time we took John and Sarah and some records to sell. John was in particularly enthusiastic mood – jeez, that guy is enthusiastic about everything! Well, I was in a bouncing mood tonight that’s for sure and found it difficult to stand behind my records for long periods so hell, I didn’t.

The atmosphere reminded me of Green Day’s gig there a couple of years back. Everyone was happy and everything was cool. The Thirst single was here for sale too – great job Tony has done and a fine tribute to Steve. Chrissy was in cheerful mood too along with Selena etc and me in charge of photo opportunity (dropping it while pissing!).

Thirst played a great set and are coming on really well and I gave them not too much stick! Wow! There was lots of pissed French punks here too – where did they come from!? (France! – ha!) The Harries played of set of Ramones style riffing – fun but unexciting. Everyone was happy though – it was that kinds bouncy music. Much chat and record sales (!) later, Rhythm Collision played a reasonable set of hardcore tunes, the guitarist later buying a Lemonheads LP from me and then us having a way cool conversation, me telling him about Broni and our love affair and plans for Oz. He knows Greg from Spiral Objective in Adelaide too which was cool coincidence. This dude was way cool anyway which is what I’m trying to relate, ok.

Eventually we got away and home at 1.15am and all today I feel proud to be a part of such good, honest fun things that friends across continents can organise for each other and it really feels like one big family with all sorts of diverse influences and anything goes and respect comes first. Today I love life and remember where I am in this world.

Rearrange events again – 16th May 1994

A fine interruption in my writing last night, that’s why the above seems a tad unfinished. It’s been a wonderful weekend. At last, I’ve been able to relax a bit and on sunny Sunday (yesterday) rode down to the beach and round Poole and watched videos and messed about and did this and that. My beautiful Broni flakes near midnight but I wouldn’t come to bed – eager to sort out more poems for the next issue of the booklet and this morning my sweet was in such a beautiful foul mood it made us both laugh and I carried on laughing at work till, bloody hell, things start piling up for me too and I’m saying, ‘Ah fuck it, what do I care?’ (in my head at least). And here I am now writing this.

If there was some sense to make I’d try and understand – 15th May 1994

Much to write about once again. Finally finished reading The Vanity of Dulouz. Such a great read – beautifully written. Besides all that and the usual run ins at work (I really have had enough!) we, fucking hell, got my visa! And celebrated at the Mandarin! Took my mum out for a meal next night too! No wonder we have no money!

Anyways, trekked up to Newport for the wonderful Trumans Water (they get better the more I think about them!), no bass player but some didgeridoo instead! Broni was very tired though and it was very loud so she wasn’t so impressed – maybe next time we see them.

Baby, I love you, but I’m too loaded to love you properly – 10th May 1994

Things are still a blur to me now. I can’t seem to concentrate on anything for longer than a few minutes. It took me three sittings just to write one letter to old pal Joe in Boston. I started to write bits and pieces here and there too, at work and at home but I never seem to get stuck into it for long enough. I’m all tensed up right now and feel ready to explode.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s trip to Newport and Thursday’s day off work. We went window shopping for laptop computers and camcorders on the weekend which was fun, and round to Rosemary’s on Sunday afternoon and played with Jade, her beautiful granddaughter. ‘Come on’ she says and ‘wee wee’ quite a lot too. We watched her fall asleep as she ran and leapt and dozed in snores within seconds of being wide-eyed.

Kerry’s dad passed away on Saturday night but Kerry and mum seem to be coping okay so far – a relief in some ways after many weeks of suffering.

I’m a bit down really, fed up with work and biting back at my baby at home. I don’t feel much in control of myself sometimes. I know all this so why don’t I do something about it! Hmph. Did much more in these five days but am unable to continue right now. Bye bye.

Every day would get thrilliner and thrilliner – 5th May 1994

sidenote: Remember this mad bad blues band?

It’s all a blur of frenzied activity but here’s the gist. Stocktake over and it’s a glorious sunny day. I get drunk and talk to lady next door while Broni is off talking jumpers and work with Rosemary (getting good possible offers of work). I’m asleep drunk, tired and sun-scorched. Broni returns and we, with John, opt for Indian fool and blues music but we flake it early on and it’s back to dreamtime.

Next glorious sunny day and it’s down to Bournemouth and the record fair to see our friends Barry and Gary, being their usual fun selves. Happy and laughing we came out richer in pocket and in heart. Checked out the beach half searching for cynical Rich in his sandwich board. Back home to our sunny backyard before mad motorway dash once again to watch grown men run around with a football for 90 minutes. This being Steve’s memorial football match. Me, I’m grumpy but enjoyed talking to Chrissy and Karl Barry. Soon home again via mothers and back into bed.

Early morning rise and straight to the beach for early morning coffee (I actually pack for parcels of records before we leave – up very early today). In search of decent food, we spend a fortune at Safeways and proceed to drink away the day in the backyard, with brief excursions into football and kite flying with John and Sarah and Morbaina (this cool Zimbabwean dude). On into the night and we barbecue with our new roommate Simon and we drink and drink. Phew!

Up at five next morning to get Broni on the bus to London and then into work – I’m really pissed off and run off a series of poems before I start to feel very ill and decide to come home. I talked to Broni and tell her I miss her (very much). Hightail highway again, this time to go see Rollins Band in Portsmouth with all the crew. Tony buying beer and Selena not drinking?! Dig play and impress, Rollin’s music doesn’t impress but his presence is awesome. Not totally overawed though!

On return to Eastleigh, me and Rob fight sleep and talk about life and its people till three or so. Rich and Rob go off to work and I read magazines and play records to my aching heart’s content.

Broni rings and seems happy and I hope to see her later in London. I go off to Chrissy’s and try to keep Amanda busy – she is in a particular spoiled brat mood – dear girl. Rebecca is a beauty though! Ah! Chrissy feeds me and I must dash off to collect Rob for another roadbuster to mighty city to see old pals Victims Family. I talked my goddamn head off in the fat London traffic while Rob directs. Soon there inside gig we sell poetry to eager punters and watch Victims Family plough through their last set of their tour. I talked to Ralph for a while, he says they hope to get to Australia someday. I also meet that old dude Rob from Corby and chat before we exit during Grotus’ set.

On the streets, everyone’s celebrating Arsenal’s European victory and I ring Broni at Piers’ and organise a quick visit. Down the road, we enter this huge house and into Piers’ cool yuppie type flat, adorned with great obscure works of art. Broni is a bit self-conscious but that’s okay – soon on again then and coffeed up we drive any old ways out of town. Twice awake and half asleep. A great conversation on the way home reminds me of talking to Steve again! I dash straight to Poole after dropping Rob and back to beautiful bed! Soon awoken by beautiful Broni’s early morning call and knowledge that she returns tonight.