Unrest on Earth and war in my head – 28th December 2002

Hey, I should tell how reasonably happy I am currently. Just a general feeling. I look back at some entries here and feel I’m sometimes melodramatic but you know – When I write those things that’s how I feel – so really I should counter those entries with some happier ones – however, I feel less inclination to write my feelings when I’m happy – it’s better to enjoy the happiness! Still – the world is on the brink of war – always something around to despair about!!

14th Mar 2022 – I’m glad I wrote this. Perhaps I did have some hopes left? I can more clearly remember the entry for Dec 26th than this one.

The idea of the west going to war with Iraq was just plain absurd to me. There was no justification in my mind. I wonder where the soldier and girl in the picture are now?

One day I’ll go so fast I’ll disappear, I’ll leave a trail of dust behind me – 26th December 2002

Jervis Bay, raining – it looks sad but the rain is good.

But the rain bothered me too. What made me turn around – the nagging doubt of having a good time? The comforts of home? The beer in the fridge? Anyway, the rain is enough of a dampener to truncate this little trip.

14th Mar 2022 – Christmas was never a great time for me when I was living on my own. No one else was around to do things with even though everyone was on holiday. In fact, if I could, I preferred to be working through these holidays, especially if it paid double. Christmas 2002 though I think I spent alone and I decided that on Boxing day I would go a long drive, seeing if I could get down the coast as far as Victoria.

It was an attempt to dispel the dark within but on this day I couldn’t run far enough before being sucked back to my own familiar comforting hell. Rain played its part and whatever music I had loaded up in the portable CD player wasn’t enough to brighten my mood to continue. So, to home, I returned after a 6 or 7-hour turnaround.

I was hoping to get down to the bottom of this map – but didn’t even make it halfway!