The tallest tree is afraid of lightning
And forever wants to stand tall
To rise above the rest is so frightening
But one must look over them all
Competition begins at the very roots
Fighting for glimpses of the sun
Cooperation only required when it suits
Until the race can be clearly won
The tallest tree, with its deep shade
Stunts both the weak and the good
The forest succumbs to death man-made
And all becomes the finest wood
Today I’m feeling:
Tired and dizzy. Unenthusiastic. I’ve been reducing my sertraline dose to half a 50mg tablet a day and it had been on until today. The feeling is so disorienting that I don’t feel inclined to push through. I’ll go back to my regular dose tomorrow.
Today I’m grateful for:
Netflix and British TV. I’m really not in the mood for anything today and whilst on other days I usually hate to waste time with watching TV shows today I’m finding numbing satisfaction in not thinking. I think I’m gonna be ok.
The best thing about today was:
Cute Noey at Utopia making my coffee and trying her best to improve her skills. We didn’t talk for a long time as she is quiet and maybe intimidated in a work environment of boys. She has a kind of endearing ditzy attitude like she doesn’t take anything too seriously but obviously, deep down has a different personality lying in wait to be discovered by her intimates. Anyway, the coffee tasted good despite the lack of foam that I like.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My feelings and emotions are a little out of control today but I’m well aware of it. I hate to waste a weekend day but know I need to get to the other side of this feeling so I’ve handled it by sleeping and TV.
Something I learned today?
I watched an edited version of a debate with Matt Taibbi, Douglas Murray and Malcolm Gladwell and was quite shocked to hear a usually smart guy like Gladwell resorting to straw man arguments. The topic was about trust in mainstream media in the USA and I was quite surprised that Gladwell sided with the idea that we can trust it. I’ve been watching Chinese news (CGTN) to get news from the States. They just report the facts as they know them. No opinion no debate no analysis. Just like news should be. Most of their reports are less than two minutes long. USA news sources are 24-hour verbal diarrhoea and for all the talk nothing is achieved.
What do I enjoy doing?
Today the only thing I enjoyed was sleeping. Most days I actually enjoy almost everything I do.