Would you really trade wisdom for youth?
Too smart to ever fall off your bike
Born old and closed to new truth
Already knowing everything you like

The knocks that you took to grow
Gave deeper meaning to everything new
There are always more things to know
And these are the things that make you

Some people conform to the tastes of others, and they end up wearing a mask that hides their true nature.

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my little hard-working motorbike that took me up and away into the mountains today.

Letter from the future to Amy (sent 7th Feb 2022)

Dear Future Little Amy,

Right now, you are in Chatswood, Australia and I am in Chiang Rai, Thailand. I’m in a cafe because the school doesn’t have anything for me to do today. Jobs where you get paid to do nothing! Crazy!

I just talked to you on the phone as you were eating spicy Som Tum in our old Chatswood kitchen. You sound happy to be back in Australia although maybe not quite sure what will happen next.

You’ll go to Albury and Adelaide and take a look around there, thinking about future possibilities. Who knows, by the time you get this letter you may be thinking of running your own little business in one of these places. Or you may be thinking to come back to Chiang Rai, relaxing and drinking red wine, playing with the cats and watching Netflix all day.

I’m happy with myself and my job. You know that I feel good to be working with the students and not necessarily the school. I’ll hang in for as long as I can and try not to cause any trouble! Haha. You know me.

Little Amy, you know I really miss your cooking. It’s the best and you’ve always taken care of me with that. Even though we are far apart, it still feels like you are here. It’s easy for us to talk anytime we want.

Happy Anniversary Amy Kee Mow.
Love you so mootch.

I’d got into my mind that today I’d get up, feed the cats and then go off on the bike – and that’s what happened. A couple of coffees to rev up at Utopia, fill up the tank with petrol and out in the cool of the morning, around 8.30 am.

First, the long way up to Doi MaeSalong, where I needn’t have worried about my bike making it up the hills; it was fine. The road hasn’t changed much since I was last up there, though I can see a lot more cleared land for whatever reason. I stopped at the top just to stretch my legs and shake out my butt. It’s nice up there but it was still early, not many people about or shops open.

Next to Doi Tung, through some roads I haven’t been before. I turned at one place, thinking I was going the right way but checking the map, realised it was not where I wanted to be going. But no worries, down a lane, down to a river and I can get back on track. Or so I thought. The lane turned to dirt; curious families looked on as I went by. The dirt turned to a walking track through pineapple fields and eventually, at the bottom of a hill, the road on the map- seemingly where I was- just turned into jungle with no way through and nowhere to turn around.

I rolled back out and winged it, in unmarked territory, heading, what seemed, the general direction of the main road, maybe close by, or maybe over several hills. But it all worked out. I was getting a bit nervous myself.

On I went, missing the turn I wanted but finding another shortcut, which also turned to dirt but soon back to tarmac. It was so quiet in these places, no one around, just perhaps the occasional worker farming away at something. If my bike conked out somehow, it was a freaking long walk from anything or anyone.

The shortcut worked out fine in the end, with some amazingly pretty scenery, a real state of satisfaction overwhelming me. After all this diversion, I got to Mae Fah Lueang and stopped quickly to buy a roti and Thai Milk Tea. My first food for the day.

Doi Tung was just around the corner and from there on up to Pha Hee, stopping for a quick photo. Then, down and along to Pha Mi, where a sign for strawberries got my curiosity. Again, into the jungle, the road ok for a while but slowly getting rough, semi-sealed, on and down, winding around and eventually ending at a small building with some people sitting around eating lunch. I asked if they had any strawberries, knowing that the season had just finished. A crinkled, middle-aged, skinny guy held out some juicy fruit and when I went to pick one, he turned my hand over and put the whole lot in my palm. Eat away, he said. I understood bits and pieces as other folks wandered around and handed me strawberries. I said I wanted to buy some but they said no, they don’t look beautiful- just eat. So I did.

Eventually, a lady came up from the field and she spoke a little English. She started picking out the best fruit into a pack for me and bemoaned the fact that the fruit wasn’t beautiful. It was, however, delicious, as I kept popping more and more in my mouth. Eventually she filled the pack and I offered her money, which she again refused but I laid down 100 baht in her strawberry basket and she said thank you. I think they were so surprised to see anyone; they were happy and they’ll have something to gossip about for a minute. I was very happy too.

Awesome. People are nice. I think a majority of people are nice, until you get to know them. That’s where problems arise. I’m happy with the people I know and I’m happy to meet others and even if our interactions are superficial, then that is fine. Not everything needs to mean something.

Back on the road, I floated down the narrow roads of Pha Mi, which was very quiet, not yet kicked into tourist gear. Scattered all throughout my journey are empty buildings everywhere, many obviously used at one time and others only half-built, never finished. It feels like nothing here will last long, so nothing is actually built to last. I wonder if we can ever sell our house or if one day it will be empty, with the jungle creeping in through all the cracks?

Back on the main road and it’s about a 30km ride home, all the way through. As I got to Mae Chan traffic lights, I spotted The English Place and Nong Kratae’s car so pulled and said hello. She was very surprised to see me as I told her my story. She pointed to a girl there, not sure if staff or student but she had spoken to Amy just yesterday about going to Australia. I asked her why she wanted to go and she said, ‘nothing to do here ‘, and I laughed and said, ‘that’s why I like it here – there’s nothing to do!’

I’d been zooming down the highway and up in the mountains but I realised I couldn’t hear very well. I blew out my ears but it didn’t help much. I had a drink of water, said thanks and see you later. Just ten more minutes to go.

Home again after about six hours. Sunburned and satisfied. My whole body is still vibrating, even after an hour and a shower.

Aircon and chill. I don’t think I’ll be up to much else today.