Not So Sure – 16th June 2022

What the hell was that dream?
Our little band of brothers
Was on the run from ‘the man’
Though why I’m not so sure

We were on the move
Trying to stay one step ahead
We had the guns and merch
It seemed too much to carry
We couldn’t load it all up in time
And one by one, we were picked off

Then it was just us two left
You and I became slaves
To the over-mother, naked
Forcing us to drink her ejaculations
In the hope of impregnation
For a new master race
To take over the changed world

2000AD is a future past
Eugenics, so last century
Dreaming a fever dream
Not so sure what’s real anymore


We choose to believe that the game is fair…we prefer not to think too much about the depth of our liberty to choose.

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to get free milk coffee with my regular fruit yoghurt drink I like. Nice!

Fatman report

For A Moment – 10th June 2022

Softened by the sounds of reminiscence
Wrinkles remain around teary eyes
Grateful to hear words of confirmation
Previously hidden in reluctant compromise

Inspired by my students telling me that they wanted me back as their teacher.


What possible good can come from ignorance about other people?

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to the gardeners who transformed the out-of-control garden in exchange for cash and Amy’s parents who oversaw them and left me delicious food.

Old Geezer – 30th May 2022

We didn’t know it before
Why the dark clouds came
You just had to get on with it
With only yourself to blame

Then someone turns on the light
And it all starts to make sense
So begins the slow process
To down the shields of defence

Inspired by reading Mick Wall’s Black Sabbath biography and Geezer Butler growing up with undiagnosed depression, much like myself.
9th Nov 2024 – Shared with Word of the Day Challenge – sabbath


The feeling of having no power over people and events is generally unbearable to us.

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Kim was waiting in the bookshelf this morning as I couldn’t find her last night to put her in her room.

Unambitious – 20th May 2022

Boris knew he was the one
But refused the offer many times
Only when it was insisted
Did he fall in with the signs
And George, he was the same
Saying he didn’t want to lead
He kept saying no, no, no
Until he finally agreed
It’s a thinking man’s game
So be most suspicious
It’s a clever way to play
To seem so unambitious

Paraphrasing Robert Greene’s Daily Laws for 20th May


Education is an imperfect shield against custom and tradition. In some ways, you may judge us still to be a little backward.

Kukrit Pramoj

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Cap woke up from his general anaesthetic yesterday. He’s still slow and grumpy but slowly recovering.


The Week That Was – 5th August 1979

Time Of The Gypsies – 9th May 2022

I’ll take my shoe and crush you
What will my spirit do without wings?
He takes and he smiles
The tap is left running

A sheep led through mud
The house will be white like milk
The working man gets the turkey
Talking to the turkey

What did he do to my daughter?
He ruined my daughter!
Winged sunny bird, winged sunny bird
Follow my lead, what trouble brought you here?

Special lime for the girl brings a smile
Who will carry such a sack?
Fire is the basis of everything
Do you know how to kiss?

Mother of the forest, mother of the rock
White as milk
Like Richard Gere
A turkey tied to a foot

I can hold my breath
And then the curtain comes down
The turkey makes a run
You’ve got a magnet on your lips

There’s a ghost at work
A mirage, take the case and run
The smoke came out his ears
No money, no faith, you army bastard
I’ll pull out your eyes

He wants to slaughter me and left me hanging
Is there a place for me?
The moonlight smiles and I cannot jump my shadow
And I cannot die

The bells are ringing, that I cannot die
Who are you to hang yourself?
Love will hang us all
Bring me home and tell my story

A crying donkey
Play another song, too old to dance in the park
Dinner is a scene and the night a dream
Burning in bed, a mountain fairy mother

God gave, God took, what can I do?
I am an army bastard
The water spirits swinging fire
Blood risen floating desire

A slap in the face for the seeing
Angelic baptism
The champion is here, the protagonist in a white feather fanfare
Money for the madhouse

How does this hang together?
Your love is not worthy of my daughter
Look upon her beauty, all-white
Trouble is coming, you’ll kiss my feet

A ride initiated, even lost my shoes
Mother save me
For the last time – money or life
Do you want my soul?

A turkey on the table
Damn all you dead and living
I’ll lift up your walls until the rain comes in
Don’t cry, mother

Can you separate the earth from the sky?
Bloodletting to save a life
Exorcise the demons with its power
Where are you hiding?

You should be kissing my feet
The journey is just starting
There are angels and devils in my house
Unsure which is witch

Best enjoyed whilst watching the first thirty minutes of Emir Kusturica’s ‘Time of the Gypsies’


When choosing people to associate with, do not be mesmerised by their reputation or taken in by their surface image they try to project.

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to give our limes to Auntie Sue when she needs them, asking over the fence.

5th Sept 2023 – Both of the lime trees next to the fence have since died, eaten away inside by some bug. The other lime trees around the garden in various spots are still doing well though.

Mass Scale Perception Management Operation – 19th April 2022

You are secretly perfect
But you will never know
The world is perfect too
Purposely hidden from view
The way of the world
Must be the way you go

Because all beliefs are false
The self is an illusion
Our eternities at heart
From the end to the start
Every no is made from yes
Despite our delusion

Learning how to learn is the most important skill to acquire.

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Matt and Mix and their family for cooking lunch yesterday when I went to visit. They made Sukothai Pad Thai. Followed by delicious home-grown jackfruit.


A really nice day yesterday. After the routine and return from Utopia, I read a few comics and wondered if it would rain. Thankfully it didn’t and the clouds kept the temperature reasonable as I rode over to Matt’s, with an idea to find a view that I remember from a drive a couple of years ago, which I thought was somewhere just past Matt’s.

A good chat with Matt, catching up on our usual bullshit but no lag in conversation, and also with Mix, whose family cooked a delicious Pad Thai for us for lunch. Matt also shared some of his kratom tea that had me buzzing nicely as I rode home ‘the long way’, endeavoring, and failing, to find the viewpoint. Kratom usually makes me a little sleepy but today, perhaps inspired by our conversations at Matt’s, I felt very positive and energised and stayed up past midnight, reading more comics.

I’m still soldiering on with The Infinite Jest and really want to finish so I can read something else, rather than start another book concurrently. It’s just so dense a read though. I’ve made a bit more progress recently – just another 400 pages or so to go!

Despite the late night I got up at 7 am as usual, feeling pretty good and at Utopia met Rowan again and we talked about a whole bunch of different things. Kratae had mentioned to Amy that she was so happy that Rowan was talking to someone and I get the feeling he thinks the same way as me in that we’re wary of other foreigners in general here in Thailand.

Got back and feel like there’s a good positive day ahead.

Fair Trade – 9th April 2022

Would you really trade wisdom for youth?
Too smart to ever fall off your bike
Born old and closed to new truth
Already knowing everything you like

The knocks that you took to grow
Gave deeper meaning to everything new
There are always more things to know
And these are the things that make you


Some people conform to the tastes of others, and they end up wearing a mask that hides their true nature.

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my little hard-working motorbike that took me up and away into the mountains today.

Letter from the future to Amy (sent 7th Feb 2022)

Dear Future Little Amy,

Right now, you are in Chatswood, Australia and I am in Chiang Rai, Thailand. I’m in a cafe because the school doesn’t have anything for me to do today. Jobs where you get paid to do nothing! Crazy!

I just talked to you on the phone as you were eating spicy Som Tum in our old Chatswood kitchen. You sound happy to be back in Australia although maybe not quite sure what will happen next.

You’ll go to Albury and Adelaide and take a look around there, thinking about future possibilities. Who knows, by the time you get this letter you may be thinking of running your own little business in one of these places. Or you may be thinking to come back to Chiang Rai, relaxing and drinking red wine, playing with the cats and watching Netflix all day.

I’m happy with myself and my job. You know that I feel good to be working with the students and not necessarily the school. I’ll hang in for as long as I can and try not to cause any trouble! Haha. You know me.

Little Amy, you know I really miss your cooking. It’s the best and you’ve always taken care of me with that. Even though we are far apart, it still feels like you are here. It’s easy for us to talk anytime we want.

Happy Anniversary Amy Kee Mow.
Love you so mootch.


I’d got into my mind that today I’d get up, feed the cats and then go off on the bike – and that’s what happened. A couple of coffees to rev up at Utopia, fill up the tank with petrol and out in the cool of the morning, around 8.30 am.

First, the long way up to Doi MaeSalong, where I needn’t have worried about my bike making it up the hills; it was fine. The road hasn’t changed much since I was last up there, though I can see a lot more cleared land for whatever reason. I stopped at the top just to stretch my legs and shake out my butt. It’s nice up there but it was still early, not many people about or shops open.

Next to Doi Tung, through some roads I haven’t been before. I turned at one place, thinking I was going the right way but checking the map, realised it was not where I wanted to be going. But no worries, down a lane, down to a river and I can get back on track. Or so I thought. The lane turned to dirt; curious families looked on as I went by. The dirt turned to a walking track through pineapple fields and eventually, at the bottom of a hill, the road on the map- seemingly where I was- just turned into jungle with no way through and nowhere to turn around.

I rolled back out and winged it, in unmarked territory, heading, what seemed, the general direction of the main road, maybe close by, or maybe over several hills. But it all worked out. I was getting a bit nervous myself.

On I went, missing the turn I wanted but finding another shortcut, which also turned to dirt but soon back to tarmac. It was so quiet in these places, no one around, just perhaps the occasional worker farming away at something. If my bike conked out somehow, it was a freaking long walk from anything or anyone.

The shortcut worked out fine in the end, with some amazingly pretty scenery, a real state of satisfaction overwhelming me. After all this diversion, I got to Mae Fah Lueang and stopped quickly to buy a roti and Thai Milk Tea. My first food for the day.

Doi Tung was just around the corner and from there on up to Pha Hee, stopping for a quick photo. Then, down and along to Pha Mi, where a sign for strawberries got my curiosity. Again, into the jungle, the road ok for a while but slowly getting rough, semi-sealed, on and down, winding around and eventually ending at a small building with some people sitting around eating lunch. I asked if they had any strawberries, knowing that the season had just finished. A crinkled, middle-aged, skinny guy held out some juicy fruit and when I went to pick one, he turned my hand over and put the whole lot in my palm. Eat away, he said. I understood bits and pieces as other folks wandered around and handed me strawberries. I said I wanted to buy some but they said no, they don’t look beautiful- just eat. So I did.

Eventually, a lady came up from the field and she spoke a little English. She started picking out the best fruit into a pack for me and bemoaned the fact that the fruit wasn’t beautiful. It was, however, delicious, as I kept popping more and more in my mouth. Eventually she filled the pack and I offered her money, which she again refused but I laid down 100 baht in her strawberry basket and she said thank you. I think they were so surprised to see anyone; they were happy and they’ll have something to gossip about for a minute. I was very happy too.

Awesome. People are nice. I think a majority of people are nice, until you get to know them. That’s where problems arise. I’m happy with the people I know and I’m happy to meet others and even if our interactions are superficial, then that is fine. Not everything needs to mean something.

Back on the road, I floated down the narrow roads of Pha Mi, which was very quiet, not yet kicked into tourist gear. Scattered all throughout my journey are empty buildings everywhere, many obviously used at one time and others only half-built, never finished. It feels like nothing here will last long, so nothing is actually built to last. I wonder if we can ever sell our house or if one day it will be empty, with the jungle creeping in through all the cracks?

Back on the main road and it’s about a 30km ride home, all the way through. As I got to Mae Chan traffic lights, I spotted The English Place and Nong Kratae’s car so pulled and said hello. She was very surprised to see me as I told her my story. She pointed to a girl there, not sure if staff or student but she had spoken to Amy just yesterday about going to Australia. I asked her why she wanted to go and she said, ‘nothing to do here ‘, and I laughed and said, ‘that’s why I like it here – there’s nothing to do!’

I’d been zooming down the highway and up in the mountains but I realised I couldn’t hear very well. I blew out my ears but it didn’t help much. I had a drink of water, said thanks and see you later. Just ten more minutes to go.

Home again after about six hours. Sunburned and satisfied. My whole body is still vibrating, even after an hour and a shower.

Aircon and chill. I don’t think I’ll be up to much else today.

The Last Word – 2nd April 2022

Power exists in concentrated forms
A small group will always control the norms
The real directors behind the curtain
Your loyalty demanded true and certain

You must serve your master with the purse
Even though this way things turn out worse
Diplomacy gives your masters the glory
Your name erased from the final story

Inspired/paraphrased – Robert Greene
19th Jun 2024 – submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts


I don’t have to have an opinion about this. I can just let it be, I can ignore it, I can realise it doesn’t pertain to me, or I can just see it as it is… It doesn’t need me projecting my thoughts or beliefs or perceptions on it.

Ryan Holiday

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to receive my pay cheque yesterday and get to the bank in time. I hope the money clears quickly.


It’s hard to tell what time it is today. The sky, a dull mixture of greys. Woke up ok after only six and a half hours and not feeling like it was 7am. It was cold, or just cool that feels cold to me now. An overnight rain had stopped but left its torpor on the morning.

After cat feeding and readying myself to walk to Utopia, the rain returned, so I grabbed an umbrella and walked off the cold, still in t-shirt and shorts. The rain is cold, constant but not heavy, descending from the high mountain air. Too cold to be pleasurable, not like beach rain or Aussie rain; reminds me of Blighty but this rain lacks the bitterness of English precipitation.
The colour of today is ideal to find the Death and Resurrection Show documentary about Killing Joke, and I watch it in full with an appropriate and enjoyable two-hour nap break, breaking it up. But it leaves me joyless and, as mentioned, unsure of the time and wondering what to do next and I just feel like sleeping more. It feels like this day doesn’t deserve honouring.

These are days to waste watching sport. It’s a perfect evening for drinking whisky but it’s just weird to think about putting it into my body. I need a beer to kick it off but I would also need some more food around to soak up the alcohol and I don’t have the baht, and any enthusiasm is now fading.

Greene On Keats – 25th March 2022

This constant need for certainty
Is the greatest disease you may face
Creative power comes from negative capability
Mysteries are to endure and even embrace

Paraphrased, but almost word for word, Robert Greene talking about Keats.


The need for certainty is the greatest disease the mind faces.

Robert Greene

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for Art to go book shopping in Chiang Mai for me and get me five music-related books. I’ll keep them at Utopia.


Another groundhog day, back here at 22 Grams, though maybe Dylan will drop by this morning. I got some things done that I wanted to yesterday and figuring out more things for classes next semester. My morning workouts really got my body feeling good but then I seem to be sitting for most of the rest of the time. I think I’ll do some more walking on the weekend.

Malfunction – 13th March 2022

Malfunctions are a means of education
You must learn from your mistakes
The flaws revealed only in the execution
It’s the schooling that mastery makes

Inspired by Robert Greene’s Daily Laws (March – Mastery)

13th Mar 2023 – I thought this poem had a familiar topic as I had read about this again today. This means I have been reading the Daily Laws for one whole year now. It’s become my habit so I’ll keep going, just as I do with the Daily Stoic, which I have in physical form now and read a page a day in the morning with breakfast.


Comparison is the thief of joy.

Theodore Roosevelt

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Dr Arnon’s staff for taking care of our cats. Tigger reports back in good health. Kim and Cap go next week.


In the morning, the trees offer a noisy hum as a collection of bees feed on the fresh pollen. For a moment I couldn’t work out what was making the sound, until looking up into the freshly shooting leaves, and busy buzzing, making a kaleidoscope above me. These are smaller bees, not like the monsters that come to feed on our other flowers. No sign of a hive.

A longer walk this morning, pleasant, enjoyable coffees, some brunch now, to reading again.