Author: shaun tenzenmen

Australasian DIY music specialist and practising poet, amongst other things

The Chiang Rai Alternative Memorial for Tim Smith – 25th July 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Crave fun, brave sun, he keeps the world as his disguise
Slave hung, brave sun, the leader of the starry skies
From the tops of the trees
To the bowels of the Earth
Swings from pillar to post
‘Cos he’s here
And now
And now
He’s here

24 Cardiacs tracks randomly selected by iTunes, in memory of the genius of Dr Tim Smith, The Leader of the Starry Skies.

….never mind the war, take me home again
For the last time

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have some energy this morning to ride my bike to get coffee. Great little exercise for me.

How do you hide from something you have found? – 24th July 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Thinking how much better I feel mentally and a little bit physically. My body hurts in so many places but if I do my five-minute exercise every day I can feel it is making me feel better. I spent too many years ignoring my health and it’s hard to catch up but I’ll keep on.

Dreams – no recall. Today – last day of week with four days off.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the big breakfast I had this morning. Not sure I need to eat again today!

Too much is not enough – 23rd July 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Oh No! Bruno! – brainbox. Dream? I’m not sure but I am tired this morning – did not want to wake up. Exercised (five minutes) feel good. Mozzie heaven in my room in the morning.

Read back into my past – what was I thinking? Some days good, some days bad. Tim Smith passed away – only 59. Seven years older than me. I want to live longer. Especially now I am happy.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my glasses. I feel really disoriented without them. I love being able to see properly.

I glanced back on my life – 22nd July 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Last night as I was going to sleep I remembered more of the dream that I had yesterday night. We – not sure who – were in some kind of outdoor festival/playground and I was scared to go headfirst down a cardboard tube in the ground. I don’t recall last night’s dream at all. Quick one today – want to meditate.

23rd Sep 2022 – Perhaps I had recently been remembering the time when I was six or seven and wouldn’t get on an escalator with my mum at a London Tube station. Escalators were truly scary for a little boy who had no idea what it was or how it worked and despite mum’s assurances that it was fine, I stood at the top crying my eyes out as she disappeared downwards. A very nice man walked me down the stairs to reunite with her a minute later. Such trauma!

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the foot inserts I can wear to try and make my feet feel better.

Pleasure’s real or is it fantasy? – 21st July 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Dark and rainy but I’m happy. Five-minute exercise with a few squats and foot exercises – can I fix my feet? Dream – I know I didn’t want to wake up because I wanted to know what happened but now I don’t remember what it was about. Earlier I dreamt about giving Matthew Sherlock (an old school friend) a blow job – he had a skinny dick. What’s the meaning?

I’ve been thinking recently about how over time everyone will be more open to each other about any sexuality so that we will all experiment with everything. A few generations away. Have a good day Shaun – happy.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that is easy for me to listen to podcasts in the car and I’m enjoying listening to this one (You Don’t Know Mojack) about all the SST releases. Very interesting.

To-do list

  • #1 – awards game
  • Gratitude, mantra, compliments
  • Listen first, speak later

These entries seem to be going a little by the wayside at the moment. A little because I have been busy transferring old DVD burns back to mp4 files. I mentioned to George that I was doing this and he asked me ‘why’, as if he couldn’t comprehend it.

It made me wonder a little too and I realised that I enjoy cataloguing and ordering things. I always seem to be in this process. Now I’m looking at my photos, physical and on my computers, cataloguing my life and 1994 diary, CDs, music files etc. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. It’s mostly pointless and time-consuming but for some reason, it makes me happy.

School has been fun and I’m enjoying teaching these new classes. The environment and other teachers are all pleasant and contribute significantly to the good feeling. I feel good and self-confident almost all the time now.

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #48 – 18th July 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Music from Lindsay Cooper, Unrest, Work and Play, Boss Hog, Sonic Youth, Code of Honor, Gas Rag, The Cichlids, False Prophets, Buff Medways, Fun Things, Fire Engines, XTC, Electric Prunes, Blues Inc, Thug, Arcwelder, Void, Makimakkuk, OMFO, Orthrelm and Park Ji Yoon.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my patience and care for Amy and for being able to turn an annoying situation into an ok one. I left her with Bee and George in the nightclub and tried to sleep in the car which was difficult but eventually, I ended up listening to music on my iPod. Listening to the Van Pelt and US Maple made me happy. Instead of thinking I had to suffer being uncomfortable until Amy was ready to leave I told myself that I get a chance to listen to great music.

Can I have the key? – 17th July 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Wake up at night and clench my jaw when I stretch – stupid. Brain jukebox – Volcano Suns – Medicine Cabinet. What a brain! Five days habit morning – losing a little weight – now steadily under 80 kg – happy with that.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for my long-running laptop. It keeps on chugging along.

To-do list

  • Awards game all the time – play it!
  • Turn the awards game into compliments
  • Smile, talk less, listen more

I did play the awards game and turned a couple into compliments (on Friday) but forgot after that – why don’t I remember? Will try again.

Went out with Amy on Friday night and whilst she and everyone else were drinking, I decided not to – knowing what I would feel like on Saturday. Everyone was having a good time but I was super tired and went to the car to rest and listen to music. Despite being uncomfortable in the car I was in a positive mood and turned it into ‘getting to listen to my music’ instead of ‘having to wait for Amy’.

Needless to say, I felt good on Saturday morning and Amy struggled through the day! I even managed to get up early on Sunday and do my 5-minute exercise routine which made me feel great for the rest of the day until about 6 pm when I got tired and went to bed (to read).

I also didn’t eat much this weekend and got back under 79kg again. I want to keep going and burn off the rest of this belly fat.

I spoke to Hayden over the weekend and he sounded much better than before. His speech was clear and his ideas had more clarity too. He said he hasn’t smoked pot for 30 days now. That’s great to hear. I’m so happy to hear him sound more positive at last.

Classes have been going well. The kids are working me out and they make me laugh. I’m not taking things too seriously now – just try to enjoy our time with each other in the class.