Tag: Cappuccino

I Don’t Care About You – 31st March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The biggest news story in the world
Feels like a stunt for clicks and views
A cynical celebrity advertisement
Where all concerned stand to lose

A slap heard around the world
Is irrelevant to anything we do
Don’t waste time on whats and whys
When all you hear can’t be true

Your lives are as meaningless as mine
We are all just blood and bones
Our status is an illusion we live
Our eternity all spent under stones

My opinions as meaningless as yours
Why bother to waste this breath?
Of many a lesson ever learned
We win no awards with our death

6th Apr 2024 – Submitted to RagTag Daily Prompt

If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.

Jean Paul Sartre

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Cap comes and gives me head rubs throughout the day. He’s not a lap cat at all so I’ll take what I can get.

A strange mood today but quite contented at least. Have some struggle with memory and concentration as reading inspires thoughts in many directions, though all leading back to the one place. Me. Concerned I may lose the ability to converse, to communicate. As calm, quiet days wash over me, I have little to report. Will I get lost in my mind? Do we all just thrive on being entertained?

It’s with some relief that today is the last day I have to go to school just to sign in. It is a rigid task that imposes its habit on me and I realise I’m grateful. So, without that stimulus, I must find another focus. 7 am, every day. Get up, exercise, meditate. I must do it for my own health. I should walk too, get out. I will fulfil the desire for a long ride but only once I’m paid.

Struggling through the last dwindling baht of this month’s pay. May not be able until next week, as we suffer the lack of technology, being paid by cheque and receiving clearance on the whim of a bank. Some places we win, others we lose.

I’ve rediscovered, as we do each day, that I’m a country boy. Sure, I love the excitement of the city but I feel absorbed into the peace of nature. Soon (this year, 5 years, 10 years?), I must decide what’s next. Time apart from Amy is manageable but I don’t want it to be forever, at least whilst forever may be avoided. She is still in her honeymoon period and hasn’t had to face any test of her resolve. We form new dreams and make new plans accordingly. She is my other half, my better half.

Curse Of The Critic – 19th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Cursing the stupidity of man—
what good will that do?
Criticising all you can
is purely a criticism of you.

Perhaps if you know you are insane then you are not insane.

Baynes, The Man In The High Castle by Philip K Dick

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful Cap and Kim are both in reasonable health after having blood tests today.

A nice, deep sleep until around 6am, my weekday wake-up time, and Tigger started talking until he threw up a hareball.

Got a little extra sleep in before my alarm at 7:20, but had the weekend lethargy and skipped any workout, which all the cats were happy about.

After Utopia coffees, I packed up Cap and Kim, who both cried all the way to the vet, where they were given clean(ish) bills of health. Cap has to go back in six months, just to check one thing, just in case it becomes a bigger problem.

I met Swiss Kevin at the vet, who was bringing his dog in for a haircut. A lovely, long-haired, husky mix, a big-sized youngster with lots of energy and personality.

Happy just to be puttering about at home the rest of the day, thinking I’ll get up at 7:20 tomorrow, and instead of any workout, I’ll just get to cutting the rest of the grass after feeding the cats, and before it gets too hot.

Then I’ll shower and coffee before coming back to watch the Swans’ first game of the new season, watching on replay, and hoping I can avoid finding out the score before that!

Malfunction – 13th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Malfunctions are a means of education
You must learn from your mistakes
The flaws revealed only in the execution
It’s the schooling that mastery makes

Inspired by Robert Greene’s Daily Laws (March – Mastery)

13th Mar 2023 – I thought this poem had a familiar topic as I had read about this again today. This means I have been reading the Daily Laws for one whole year now. It’s become my habit so I’ll keep going, just as I do with the Daily Stoic, which I have in physical form now and read a page a day in the morning with breakfast.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Theodore Roosevelt

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Dr Arnon’s staff for taking care of our cats. Tigger reports back in good health. Kim and Cap go next week.

In the morning, the trees offer a noisy hum as a collection of bees feed on the fresh pollen. For a moment I couldn’t work out what was making the sound, until looking up into the freshly shooting leaves, and busy buzzing, making a kaleidoscope above me. These are smaller bees, not like the monsters that come to feed on our other flowers. No sign of a hive.

A longer walk this morning, pleasant, enjoyable coffees, some brunch now, to reading again. 

Never Give Up – 11th January 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I gave up smoking when my son arrived
And eventually, the drinking on which I thrived
Drugs were out and I never did the casino
One thing I’ll never give up – that’s my cappuccino

When you try to extend your reach outward, it’s much better and more appropriately directed inward.

Ryan Holiday

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I got my laptop working as I needed it at school yesterday after having many problems.

A Madness Of The Impossible – 1st December 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The very essence of my soul betrayed
No knowledge may heal the wound I made
In this fog, there is nowhere to be or go
I just can’t forgive myself I’m afraid

Misery and self-loathing bedevil my days
A madness of the impossible Derrida says
The radical act of self-forgiveness so
Absolve yourself, you must find the ways

Inspired (and butchered) by a reply to a letter to Nick Cave at The Red Hand Files newsletter
and submitted to Thursday Inspiration #246

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that our cats seem to have recovered. Cap from a bad stomach and Kim from wounds after a big fight with Tigger. Tigger has been very well recently though his fur is starting to make him look old.

I was planning to do some preparation and reading and writing this afternoon but Fui brought his teenage son and daughter to House and I ended up talking with all of them for most of the time! Fui’s kids study in Singapore, and have done for many years. I’m not sure why and didn’t ask, but it’s interesting to get their perspective on things especially as English has become their first language.

My one class this morning was with 2/11 and it went well. I got them more involved by helping me to learn the Thai words for all the English vocabulary that I wanted them to remember. So, I’m feeling good.

A rest day from the abs workout. I can feel that there is less fat on my chest and my ribs are becoming more visible. I like this healthier me. As with anything, I should’ve started sooner. I’m still thinking about that time of brushing off Rupert when he started lifting weights at school. I was all about smoking and drinking. I was lucky that my metabolism sustained my skinny body into my late 30s and only the beer started sticking on my hips.

OK – back to it. More free time tomorrow afternoon to finish off this preparation.

Weight: 76.6kg
Resting heart rate: 47

Coy Maids Yield – 23rd November 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

A peach, not yet ripe, hangs tempting
Soft fur on skin clear and pale
Untouched by the hands of fate
A heart grows older, lamenting
This light will never be the same
When summer arrives, the crow is late
And so shall end this game

The gravity tugs at all the fruits
Suspended like puppets, dancing on the wind
The ripened fall among the flowers
As the strings begin to yield and bend
Gently whispered words that sour
As hungry wolves gather sniffing
In search of fresh fruits to devour

No new ideas found under Newton’s tree
What is gone will bloom again
Forbidden fruits in gardens green
Cherries picked, hummingbird and bee
Seeds spread to await cold rain
The coy maids’ pollen floating free

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that we found a little scratch on Cap’s belly last night so that we could treat it before it might get infected. It was because I love to pet our cats that I usually find scratches and cuts that need attention.

All good things must come to an end? Whilst I’m happily working away, thinking up more and better ways to encourage my students to learn, I got told that the school has received complaints about me from parents. It’s not clear to me exactly what these complaints are yet but giving students assignments to work on when they are not in class (ie online teaching times) was mentioned.

As I think about it I wonder if these complaints are actually not so much about me but about the students, their children. Some are so far behind that they would struggle in even primary classes.

Tomorrow I will talk to Champ and Kru Nu and I will think of questions that I want to ask them. In particular, now, my two questions are what are the specific complaints and what do you want me to do? When I was talking with Champ, I just got the vague response of ‘make the complaints go away.’

I know that George will be shaking his head if he knows about this. He always keeps everything smooth and makes everything as easy as possible for his students. They can cruise through his class. I see the Thai teachers doing this too.

Ah – I’ve written this all here before. I want to push the students, make them curious and interested to learn. Each class has such good students mixed with others who have very poor skills. I prefer to teach to the middle-top rather than be bored with teaching such simple stuff.

But maybe I should change my thinking, have the simple life, make it easy and care less about the outcome for the students. It feels like such a cop out to me. Should I even be a teacher? I’m anxious and confused now. I want to defend myself but I should just try and keep my mouth shut. In the meeting tomorrow I should take notes and just work to what they tell me.

Gah! Even as I’m writing that my head is going ‘but…but…but.’ Do I care too much? I love all these kids, even the poor students. Even the ones who don’t like me.

Along with all this we’ve been trying to sort out Amy’s name change for her Aussie passport and that can of worms continued to grow but now we’ve sorted it out and will have to deal with all the Thai paperwork when she’s back from Australia again. That was stressful and it’s still stressful knowing that we will have to revisit it again in the future.

In another 11 years (or is it 15?) I will be able to get my superannuation from Australia. Where do I want to be? Where will we want to be? Should we sell up and go back now? Could I survive in Australia again? Could I do it without working? Where is the easy life I was searching for?

Haha. I make myself laugh. I’m always telling myself that it is better to suffer in life. To know that you are alive. Life is pain. And that’s ok with me.

The Week That Was – 25th February 1979

Subject to Change – 21st May 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Every time I found my place
I decided it was time to leave
Comfort never seemed to interest me
I needed something new to believe

But I always remember my friends
And the happiness they bought
I left to spread it further
And find new ideas to report

Shared with Reena’s Xploration Challenge #317

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the little mouse in our living room last night. It was small and cute and impossible to catch. Cap was only vaguely interested in it and scared when it ran at him. Amy brought Kim in from outside and she caught it immediately. She was very happy. I felt a little sorry for the mouse but I know it happens every day outside our living room.

I overheated yesterday, testing myself to see how long I could bear it. I was reading, and it was uncomfortable, but I was trying not to fidget or complain – ultimately, I had to get to some aircon. I was dressed in pants and a long-sleeved shirt, too – all tucked in. A dumb attempt at temperature assimilation!

Amy complains about the heat all the time – well, everyone does – it’s very uncomfortable at the moment. No wonder people go mad in temperatures like this!

Anyway, the result of this was falling asleep deeply in our living room aircon at about 5 pm. Amy woke me up at 7.45 pm to watch some TV, but then I retired to the bedroom to read a little before more sleep.

Whilst reading, Amy rushed in shouting, ‘There’s a rat in the living room!’ I got up quickly to a wild-eyed Amy and a bemused Cappuccino. She said it was behind the TV cabinet but I couldn’t see it. Eventually, she pointed it out, and it was a cute little tiny field mouse, balanced on the black cables from the back of the TV. No wonder I couldn’t see it. Some rat!

We tried to nudge it out so that Cap could have the honour to catch it and save his family from certain death, but he was scared of it and kept running away whenever it came near him. What a cat! Amy ran outside and called Kim Chi whilst I failed in grabbing the little cutie by the tail over and over again.

Cap had given up at this point, and I was chasing this thing whilst laughing my head off. Kim Chi appeared from next doo,r and Amy brought her in and instantly caught the mouse in her mouth. Then I picked her up to take her outside, and in doing this, Kim dropped the mouse and off it ran again.

At one point, the mouse was in the corner right by Kim’s tail, but she was looking the other way, totally unaware. I cracked up. After a couple more minutes, Kim eventually caught it again, and we managed to get outside. I made a feeble attempt to loosen Kim’s jaws to give the mouse a chance but gave up, and she walked off to play with it some more.

I resumed my reading back in the bedroom, wondering if I would be able to sleep after all this excitement. Fortunately, I was able and sleeping so deeply I didn’t even hear the storm in the night, which thankfully lowered the temperature somewhat by the morning.

As I’m writing this, not even 9 am, I can already feel the heat fusing my shirt to my skin with sweat. It’s going to be a long day, but thankfully, the weekend is coming.