The end of the road looks like freedom to me – 13th January 2020

Things I must do before I die?

I don’t really consider anything I must do. There are things I would like to do but not must.

The major events previously in my life I didn’t really consider as things I must do but I was motivated enough to make them happen ie separation, travelling to China, moving to Australia, and Thailand.

Anything I must do seems to relate to things I have chosen to do for other people so I must do them as promised. The motivation is external, from a drive that was internal.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful when the weather is cool. Sometimes it feels too cold but then I remember how unbearable the rest of the year can be. Today I have cold ears and I like it.

The nature of the universe consists in perpetual change and so this process is natural and good.

Donald Robertson on Meditations

To-do list

  • More work on exam questions ✅
  • Go and run after work ✅
  • Experiment with turntables for TCRAH ✅
  • Give books to 3 students tomorrow ½
  • Remember – think and listen and think! Then talk! ✅

Quite tired today as I stayed up quite late reading, wanting to finish a book. I am in very good spirits though and enjoyed all the classes I took.

Started the well-being Coursera online class today too. I’m doing a lot of study around this subject at the moment but I think it’s serving me very well. My 4 character strengths are Curiosity, Gratitude, Honesty and Fairness and I should try to practice as many of these as I can in the next week.

Amy and I went to the gym and I worked on light weights as an overall warm-up for doing more in the future. I’m sure I’ll sleep well enough tonight.

Tomorrow should be a fairly easy day and should be enjoyable too. Tomorrow I’d like to get some more things done at home. I’m slowly sorting through my room and there’s no real hurry but it would be nice to be done.

*Schedule – 4th February 1985

Everything in order
Everything on time
Such a perfect thing
This wonderful life of mine

I’m on schedule
I looked at my schedule

Don’t know when I’ll die
I haven’t planned it yet
But I’ll tell everyone
So they don’t get upset

I’m on schedule
I looked at my schedule


The Week That Was

Record of the week: Flux of Pink Indians – Punk Sucks

4th February 1985
Started work in the warehouse. Quite a good laugh but fuckin’ knackering. Went down Gaunts after. Chased Perry, Burt and Muz around Gaunts cos they wanted me to. Talked for a while. Came back. Fuckin’ fell asleep. Kinky dream about Lisa.
7

5th February 1985
Fuckin’ had hundreds of fuckin’ deliveries. 20 pallets of Carcases, 2 orders of Key Terrain. We didn’t have time to do it all. Had a good laugh around Gaunts. Maybe do Stumps t-shirts, have an initiation. Talked to Muz for a while.
8

6th February 1985
Pissed around on the bus in the morning. Fucked around in college. Got bus back. Wayne was on there. Had a good laugh. Got school bus. Good laugh again. Fixed drums. Got 11 people in phone box down YC. Pissed around down there.
8

7th February 1985
Don’t remember much about today. Don’t think we had a lot to do at work. Big Brian was doing the bulk lorry – he’s a cunt. Muz wasn’t coming out so stayed in. Quite a few things on telly. Something about some bikers which was OK.
5

8th February 1985
Still not a lot to do at work. Planned to leaflet the Void gig and not do a poster cos it doesn’t photocopy very well. Came home. Pissed around as usual. Went down YC – wasn’t very interesting. I think they’ve sussed out that we fiddle the pool table. Couldn’t stay awake to watch the film
6

9th February 1985
Went to Wimborne. Met Bernice. Went for pizza with Fog and Maggie. Came home. Pissed around on drums. Went down Gaunts. Sharon was there so we pissed her off. Went to Bernice’s at 7. Caught bus to Bournemouth. Went to gig. Atrox played pretty well. Then fuckin’ Bad Noise were fuckin’ around. During Disorder a couple fo fights started. Taff electrocuted himself. Got bus back.
5

10th February 1985
Can’t remember a lot about what happened today. It was fuckin’ cold. I went down Gaunts. Came back. Went back. Pissed around at the woods behind Murray’s. Dean was even there. First time for fuckin’ ages. Didn’t go out tonight cos it was too cold. Spitting Image was OK.
6