Take it twenty-four hours at a time
Meet your ego with hostility and contempt
Your genius admired far and wide
These laurels appear to rest and tempt
Knowing all the things you don’t know
There’s a lifetime left to fill the gaps
You must learn to find the way
By first learning to read the maps
On solitude: That’s just the kind of ‘suffering’ I’m most at home with.
Elizabeth Bishop
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to find my laptop power adapter at Le Paradis today. I left it there by accident on Thursday. I’m grateful to the staff who kept it safe for me.
Yesterday evening, I discovered I’d lost my MacBook Air power adapter. I was quite annoyed with myself because it was going to be costly to replace if I didn’t find it. I retraced my day and realised I hadn’t used it since Thursday, and I thought I’d probably left it at Le Paradis.
I was going to the city this morning to take Tigger for his yearly vaccine and check-up. Cap was supposed to go too, but had thrown up, and didn’t eat this morning, so thought it better he didn’t go today.
I was so relieved when they had the adaptor at the café. I was very thankful. I’m getting a little forgetful, mostly about inconsequential things. I forgot to close the gate last night. A few days ago I forgot to turn the water off after watering the garden. I just hope it’s not an early sign of dementia!
I need to pay more attention to the things that I’m doing, instead of being off with the fairies and thinking about what’s next.
I notice I put on a kilo in the last few weeks. This is mostly because I’ve been at home more often than usual, and can eat and snack at any time. My work routine would usually mean that I didn’t eat anything between 8am and 5pm, and that was keeping my weight under control. I have to work out a good system when I’m at home.
Anyway, I consciously decided last night that I must go and walk in the morning, after feeding the cats, and before it got too hot. So I woke up with that in my head, and walked up to the uni and back. Next time, maybe tomorrow, I’ll walk around the uni too. That should give me 10,000 steps before I even begin the day.
It was a pleasant walk, enjoyed with podcasts, and some pats of a friendly dog. Now I’m back at home, and the rest of the weekend is mine.
Tigger’s blood check is all good, and Cap seems to be feeling a bit better. Everyone is lazy, though, because of the heat.
I found some free online courses I want to do, and will get into them until the new semester starts. I still don’t know if I’m returning yet, though.
I’ve been chatting with one of my students who is having a very tough time at home, and has contemplated suicide. I see her make new friends and she clings on to them, looking for the love that she can’t find at home. Unfortunately, she overdoes it, and the friendships fall away.
She mentioned to me the other day that things were bad again, so I told her she could talk to me anytime. I will try to help her. The only thing I’m worried about is that she gets too attached to me. I will try to teach her to improve her self-esteem and self-confidence, so that she doesn’t need to rely on others for emotional support.
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