Tired after being a little restless last night and Tigger wanting to be fed at 7 am.
I came out for coffee and decided to only have one cup today, to see if that helps me sleep better tonight.
I’m ploughing through my grading files this morning and I also have to figure out what lessons I will teach this coming week. Apart from that, I don’t have much else planned. More reading, more guitar.
Oh, and writing some interview questions for Barber Dead and Speech Odd.
(Later) I never got to writing any questions out yet but have been thinking about what to ask.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Having an appetite again, though my guts still seem to be adjusting a little bit. I feel like eating and eating!
The best thing about today was:
Getting all my grading completed today. Actually, it is only half completed because that is all that has been asked at this stage. Over the next couple of weeks, I will probably finish it all off as I don’t think there will be many changes in the outcomes for the students in the meantime.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got a missed call today and assumed it was from the optometrist, so I went there in the afternoon. The lady said that she had called to tell me that my glasses would arrive tomorrow and that was all that she was calling to tell me. No harm done, it’s less than five minutes ride from my house.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I took a small sketchbook to Baipad that I bought up in Doi Tung as it had a cartoon picture of Lahu and Akha people on it. She gave it to Namhom as she doesn’t have her own little book like this.
They were home alone but talking with their mum on a video call. I asked where her mum was and they didn’t know! I said, what if something happened and she didn’t come back and the police come and ask where she went and all you can say is ‘I don’t know!’
So we all found out that she is in Bangkok at the same time!
A little blurry in the head, though fairly happy too. Waiting for the coffee to kick in!
Trying to write a poem and started off with two killer lines and then coming up blank on anything else! Trying to think but I’m lost in the fog at the moment!
Finally, the coffee started working and I went for a third cup and I should be able to fight off the urge to nap this afternoon!
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Not napping! I was tempted but forced myself out to my room to get up to my usual bullshit there. Listen to music, download comics, add blog entries and play guitar.
The best thing about today was:
Playing guitar along to Archers of Loaf, the Wipers and SquirrelBait, whilst a little under the influence of a weed brownie, had me now imagining that I was actually quite good on guitar. I’m not but it sounded good at that moment!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I braved the rain on the motorbike this morning to go to Utopia, as Amy didn’t want me to use the car yet. Thankfully, it was the end of the storm and just a little drizzle and by the time I came back again, the sun was out.
I also stopped and chatted with Aum Aim while she was working at her mum’s stall. She proudly told me her grade when I asked her – 3.85.
I’ve been thinking about my grading a lot this week, since fielding questions from students last weekend. I think I will be less serious about grading for the high school kids from this semester. The grades they get can seriously affect their options when it comes to university choice in the future.
It seems a bit petty to give an average grade to an average student who isn’t in the English program and whom I only see once a week. If they show willingness, I just give them a good grade, regardless of their skill level.
Am I submitting to the foibles of the Thai system?
Something I learned today?
Anchan told me that despite her being sick, she was in Burma to visit her mum in prison, perhaps the only chance she will get. She said it was dirty and crowded there.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Anchan also told me that she can get back to Chiang Mai from Burma and she will be a little better looked after, food-wise, until she has to come back to school next week. She asked me for money again but I had to deny her this time. I’m happy to help her a little bit but I don’t want her to think that I’m just an ATM.
I took this picture because I received the Minnesota Pocket Circuit CDs from Team today.
Every accusation a confession; peace through violent aggression
Manipulated media suppression, leading to depression
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good and positive. For some reason, I woke up well before my alarm and was hoping that I still had hours to sleep but I couldn’t calm my mind down enough or get stupid songs out of my head. Never mind.
I skipped exercise but did some dead hangs, which felt good. After breakfast, I picked up a decent coffee at Utopia and, upon arriving at school, set to printing out all my grading files, which involved a bit of dicking around to make them acceptable for the school, such as the girl who never came to class suddenly having 100% attendance. So it goes.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Mai, Jern and PP for helping me sort out the printing of this semester’s grading files.
The best thing about today was:
Writing poetry and reading comics. I also enjoyed playing the guitar today, more so than yesterday, for sure.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As I was sitting in the teacher’s room this morning, at 9 am, all the Thai teachers went off for a meeting, so I was left by myself, busy updating my files to print.
About ten minutes later, George turns up and, on seeing me, just drops off his bag and leaves the room without saying a word. He was pacing up and down outside the room and making phone calls.
About ten minutes later, he comes back in and collects his bag and leaves again, without saying a word. I didn’t see him again, though I stayed around at the cafe until midday.
In grobblegrinch not merry met A whistlewomp paced upset Eyes colder than the darkest coal A ghosting galloped across my soul – The frugglefrau awaits beneath – The bridge, baring broken teeth The flutterflumps flew in fright As tolling bells queried the night Clearly here the foxes gather To feast on human gristleslather
A little flat. Summer has kicked in seemingly overnight and there are no more cool nights, at least not indoors. With the tail end of this flu, it has left me a little tired (though not sleepy) and easily affected by other’s moods or actions.
Today I’m grateful for:
A weed shop open in our little village! This evening Amy wanted to go and get some medicine and as we were riding home there was suddenly the smell of weed. Amy wanted to stop and bought a brownie in the hope that it will aid her to sleep better tonight.
The best thing about today was:
Getting through more than half of my grading for this semester and doing a lot of it during class time after setting some work and letting the students get on with it. It’s not even due yet but I want to get it done.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I forgot my medicine this morning so have been a little bit dizzy all day. Missing one day doesn’t affect me in that I will be depressed but the dizziness can be disorienting, otherwise I’m not thinking about the fact that I’ve missed it.
Something I learned today?
I bumped into my struggling student on the way to another class and they were on their iPad so I sarcastically asked if they were playing games or studying but they were actually live streaming. Live streaming whilst studying – and getting paid for it too! Sometimes 2000 baht they said! I waved to their followers and went off to class.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I followed up on the student who was struggling yesterday and they seem a bit better today. I gave some more tips and things to think about.
I also gave Baipad some more advice on using her brain more and trying to be more sociable. She reminds me of myself at times, much like all my students.
Imagine that, all my students are little pieces of me, running around as a reminder of what I was like! Is this a game? A fantastic AI simulation?
25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 22. Don’t Blame People. What’s the point? Do you want to punish them? You don’t do that to people. Also, don’t blame yourself—you’re only human.
I’ve gotten better at this over the years. I would switch between blaming others and blaming myself. There are no winners in that thinking!
I took this picture on Saturday at the housewarming in the rice fields. No pictures today.
Awake and alive despite only about six hours of sleep. Also feeling a little fragile and on edge but don’t know why. I feel like if something doesn’t go to plan I could easily lose the plot.
Today I’m grateful for:
Funfai for inviting me to play tennis which we finally got to do today. I made it through about 30 minutes and she had already been playing for an hour before that! It was only 9.30 am but over 30 degrees and no shade. I haven’t played for more than twenty years so everything was pretty stiff. My brain knew what it wanted my body to do but my body wasn’t always capable. I was dizzy after sitting down, drenched in sweat and super stinky as my shirt was one of those that hadn’t dried properly in the sun last week. And although my body feels used up I think it is happy to have been used. I want to go again!
The best thing about today was:
Finding out that Carsick Cars will play in Sydney whilst I’m there! I saw they will play with Garry David, so hit up Bob Blunt to get more info. Amy already has me busy with lunch and dinner appointments on the day they play but Bob advised that they added an afternoon matinee show which I should be able to squeeze in – no problem! Cool bananas! He also told me Julian Wu is the tour organiser so I messaged him too and he’s prepaid a ticket for me and it will be awesome to catch up with everyone again. What a trip!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I got a message overnight from an M3 student, Pon, who I taught last year saying he was hoping to join the English Program next year but his grades weren’t up to scratch. I had rarely interacted with him and he was always quiet in class though he usually did my work. His low grade was when Dylan was teaching him and I’m not sure why he decided to message me to say he was devastated. I’m understanding but not exactly sympathetic. His grade was in his own hands and now he’s reaping the results of his lack of attention at the time. ‘Don’t care was made to care’ as I was often told as a child! Students are not taught how their decisions and actions affect their futures.
I read an article today about the negative effects of phone use and social media on children and how it affects the mental health of the undeveloped brain. It’s common sense to me that kids shouldn’t have phones in class! Even though I have tried to have them utilise their phones for study they often switch in and out to other apps which I know is detrimental to learning and memory.
I also received a message from my M2 student Alew, asking about scholarships. I don’t know how you go about applying for those but I’m glad he’s asking the question. I pointed him to Champ who may be able to give him some advice.
Something I learned today?
I saw that in China you can order your taxi by phone and if you are not sure where it might be, like at an airport for example, you can shake your phone and it will trigger the hazard lights on the car. And once in the taxi, you can control the aircon from your phone too.
What motivates me to do my best?
If I am invested in something I will do my best. Sometimes if I’m not invested I will also try to do my best but be less bothered about the result.
I am always trying my best at school to entertain and teach my classes. I put a lot of effort and energy into that and I’m personally motivated by that. I care about the results for the students and not for the results as seen by the school, which is why I disagree strongly with their grading policy.
Funfai took this picture because I asked her to. I wanted to see how I looked after running around in the sun for thirty minutes!
Tired but healthy. I just couldn’t make it up with my alarm and ended up with an extra couple of hours of bad sleep due to aches and pains in my shoulders from my exercise this week. But I got the washing on and have to go shopping and I’m mentally preparing for the stack of shirts to iron. I might even finish the vacuuming that I started last week but didn’t quite complete the kitchen and dining room!
Today I’m grateful for:
The Thai basil plant that Amy planted a few years ago but I was unable to keep alive since she’s been away. However, whilst pulling grass out from amongst the random cactuses we have growing I found a new Thai basil plant growing. Woohoo! I pulled the old one out and threw it over the fence and moved the new one into its place and hopefully, it will survive the move and grow as big.
The best thing about today was:
A relative feeling of accomplishment. I managed to get clothes washed and dried despite the big rain, though it did add another five shirts to the ironing pile which is something I didn’t get done today. I pulled up some grass and weeds, sorted out recycling, took it to our garage and got a haircut. Got all my shopping done too.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It was time for my 4 or 5-month haircut (see below) as I’d been hacking at it myself recently and as I sat in the chair for the couple of minutes it takes to roll through my hair with the electric razor a big rain blew in with no end in sight. Ah well, a free shower and clothes wash for my ride home. The mountain rain is cold but the air is still warm so apart from drops stinging my face and blurring my glasses it wasn’t too uncomfortable.
Something I learned today?
By chance, I found an app called Sleepagotchi and recommended it to my sleepy struggling student. It needs a bit of setting up and perhaps a wearable device which I doubt she has but it looks like a more fun way of sleep tracking for teenagers than other apps I’ve seen. I’m trying it out to see how well it works.
What are my top three priorities for this week and why?
Finish grading my students as requested by the school. They’ve only requested to fill in 50% of the scores which is ridiculous as we have to have it all completed soon anyway. Why not just do it all? That’s what I’m doing anyway. As I’ve mentioned before grading is a farce here when no student is allowed to fail and 60% of the class must be graded 3 or more (out of four).
Pay the electricity bill, for obvious reasons. Though perhaps if someone is reading this in ten thousand years’ time and is unfamiliar with what may then be an antiquated technology, electricity is something that helps us live comfortable lives.
Get my shirts ironed. What a shit priority! Better to say; keep exercising, reading, writing, playing guitar etc. but they are all things I’m going to do anyway.
Take a view from above.
I sit in the hairdresser studying the hair across the floor. A sunburnt old man, probably younger than me is flat, laying back in the chair as the chatty hairdresser slides a cutthroat razor skilfully around his chin.
A clean tiled floor, two wooden park benches not designed for comfort for customers, and a fridge with a bag of fruit on top. Old dusty fans and faded pictures of landscapes and kings. There is so much dust on the old tape deck that it looks like it hasn’t been touched for years or would even work now.
The ubiquitous plastic chairs badly stacked next to a plastic sink in the corner, dirty from use at weddings, funerals, and dinners.
The room is full yet sparse with the rotating barber seat really the only signifier that this is a room for hairdressing.
The TV blares nonsensical (to me) words from the corner. An emotional lady talking about I don’t know what. Both the man in the chair and another old man younger than me waiting his turn are glued to the woman now tearing up but looks to me to be manufactured viewing fodder.
The little ginger cat is not sleeping here today. Where are you sleeping? Or are you chasing mice somewhere?
The stuffy air in here is filled with the hard-working old men’s sweat. Not particularly unpleasant but a positive reinforcement of satisfaction of work done. Lives worthwhile. The open windows and fan are merely feathering the hot heavy air. The stillness is reflected in everyone’s speed. There’s no hurry here.
Second in line, I’ll sit here happily waiting. I have things to do but they’ll get done when they get done.
I love the utility of this place. A room is only a hairdresser’s when there is someone cutting hair, otherwise, anything can happen here.
Am I nostalgic for poorer days, a voyeur into a past I escaped? I remember the days of make-do and mend and pulled myself sideways to avoid it. There is a sense of community in the struggle that no longer exists for those of us who found bootstraps to pull. The values of freedom and independence are a privilege that often finds us struggling still.
Remembering that the best part of the journey is what you find on the way and not what you find when you arrive pushes us onwards.
Let’s not be nostalgic, not be complacent. Let’s struggle more. Let’s revel in our simplified suffering. We are not facing life and death whilst simultaneously facing a slow life and death.
The woman on TV’s voice is quivering again and it’s my turn to get my hair cut.
I took this picture because this tells Amy exactly where I am and what I’m doing.
The most important skill of a species intelligent enough to understand both their insignificance and their mortality is the capability for distraction.
Tim Urban
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the great variety of food I can find where I live. It’s still new and refreshing to me.
Pee dreams have been waking me the last couple of nights. I’m already contemplating how to manage when I’m too old to get out of bed fast enough! Less water in the evenings, maybe?
I’m sitting in the cafe doing grading this morning. 3 down and 5 to go. Should be pretty simple though. It makes me happy to think about my students and how they have changed over the last 12 months. Some are improving and those that aren’t I’m just encouraging to try as much as possible and not be lazy. Need a break now, though, my eyes are sore. Though my break will involve reading!
There’s a plan that’s been put in place Decided years ago, real and known Paths set to further the human race Historical analysis shows how we’ve grown
Allowances were made for deviations When the train almost left the tracks The firm bedrock for our foundations Ensured the plan always had our backs
All the charlatans and fly-by-nights Have long since been forgotten War of words no longer become fights And we stopped ourselves becoming rotten
Instead of an instant profit turned Future generations were the consideration Making sure that all history was learned We came together to celebrate this creation
I see parallels between Asimov’s Foundation stories and the differences in the way the US and China plan their futures. It feels like the US system is constantly hamstrung by its election cycles and lack of consistent vision whereas China has its five-year plans and I think extending even further into the future.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be able to watch interesting YouTube videos all day at work, as well as reading so much. And go for coffee. I am grateful that the Thai teachers don’t hassle me with extra work.
The never-evolving discussion around reading is taking place again. Some of our classes only had 50% attendance rates, some even close to 0% attendance, yet we somehow have to give 60% of the class grade 3 or above (grade 4 being the highest). As ever, what a nonsense. Well, I just continue to do the best for my students where I can.
My abs workout has suddenly gotten more difficult, really pushing my ability to even hold my legs in the air to complete some sets. Keep going, keep going.
Finished reading Foundation last night, and Al Franken’s The Truth With Jokes. Interesting parallel reads and both great books.
Conspiracies abound among the paranoid Secret cabals of lizard men must be destroyed Spooks at every corner have been deployed Data analysis deep tracking employed
Inception matrixes to check your dreams Killer drones are shooting laser beams Manufacturing consent it seems Our new masters are our own machines
10th May 2024 – Submitted to No Theme Thursday for the attached picture prompt
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that I pretty much managed to finish my grading files in an hour yesterday. A whole semester measured with a number.
Today’s a good day so far (it’s 2pm). Probably the best thing was spending an hour in the city getting a massage. First one for a long while. How grateful I am to be getting paid and being able to get a one-hour massage! I’m thinking to go back again on Thursday! Why not!?
There is nothing particularly bothering me personally these days. My life is sweet. I’m conscious that I’m reading a lot of news again, generally about the US and the US-China relationship. That shit is making me angry and I’m wondering if I should just cut it all out again.
Amy and I finally watched The Tiger King and that documentary seems to highlight for me everything that is wrong about the USA. In my youth, I always argued for freedom but as the saying goes, ‘with great freedom comes great responsibility’. I don’t think freedom to be ignorant and stupid was quite what my idealised youth was thinking of.
I am so happy and grateful to have a car so I can get places without having to suffer so much from the polluted air.
There is no great difference between novels and banana bread. They are both just something to do
Mark Manson
To-do list
Finish off AirAsia refunds
See if the Office downloads can work ✅
Enjoy your day, your work, your interactions ✅
Drawings for Fern and Chinese teacher
Go to book shop, drug store and buy Vitamins ✅
Well, today went well until the rabbits (the idiots) raised their paws and decided that things were not well with my grading. Rather than actually tell me what the problem was they deferred and advised me to ask someone else tomorrow.
The problem, I already know – because I graded accordingly – so many students did not pass. What is the point of grading if our grades are not permitted? It’s a waste of everyone’s time. Why even teach?
Anyway, it’s an easy fix – it just involves lying and deceit. Is this right? Is this moral? Of course not. It perpetuates the lie that everything is ok. It hurts to be part of this. Fight it or forget it? Of course, the best answer is to forget it but then nothing changes. I hate this time of year.
Tomorrow, no doubt, to pass the time quickly I will adjust the grades so that everyone will pass. And….hmmm….everyone will be happy….?
1994ever 