Tag: money

The Nothing Special – 2nd December 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Those were the days of Terry and Bruce
Ran the airwaves without ever getting loose
It’s the holidays, it’s eight o’clock
It’s time for Nothing Special to rock
A variety of nondescript acts
A poor mans reading of ridiculous facts
There’s nothing special about Christmas this year
So Nothing Special is watched without fear
The boring boredom of the everyday
Made Nothing Special special in some way
Rolling out the favourites as if to assume
This is what people wanted to consume

There was something comforting about holiday TV in the UK in the 70s and 80s. Banal family entertainment that will never live on in memory. In those days there was not much entertainment to choose from though now I feel we suffer from having too many choices. Is this simply a function of growing old?

I’d written down ‘Nothing Special’ earlier but forgotten why and ended up thinking about TV ‘specials’ of the past instead.

We make each other alive. Does it matter if it hurts?

Ingmar Bergman

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and relaxed
Today I’m grateful for:
Thailand having yet another holiday on Monday, which I only found out about today. We had already planned to be in Phuket until Tuesday anyway but this means I only have to take one day of leave.
The best thing about today was:
Nong Fah came to class and gave me a Chupa Chup for no particular reason at all. I was pleasantly surprised and appreciative. All my students were in a reasonable mood today which made the day go well for all of us.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I realised when I went to pay for coffee this morning that an automatic payment had come out of my bank rather than Paypal and I only had 32 baht left. When Amy asked me to pick up some food I had to ask her to transfer me money and I’d also ordered some books from Bangkok that I had to apologise that I couldn’t pay for yet and hoped they hold for me. The day we get paid seems to vary from month to month. Sometimes on the first or fourth or within two or three days on either side. It’s a little annoying I don’t have money as we leave for Phuket tomorrow. I’ll be living out of Amy’s wallet for a few days.
Who do you envy?
I don’t think I envy a whole person particularly, perhaps not even envy at all. If there are specific traits that I might envy in people I’ve learned to accept my lack of ability and realise that everything is in accordance as it should be. As I envy so might others envy me.

I took this picture a long time ago. It was actually a video and I just found it again today and took a screen capture as this lightning bug’s tummy flashed on.

The Narrative – 26th November 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Is this narrative true
Or just what you want to hear?
If everything is obscured
It surely can be made clear
Is this narrative a lie
Or what you choose to believe?
When lies are lies and lies are truth
It’s manifest to deceive

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

Aristotle

Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good. A little antsy but not for any particular reason.
Today I’m grateful for:
The new 100-watt light bulb above me that means I can read a bit more comfortably again. The last one didn’t last for long.
The best thing about today was:
Riding my pushbike to Utopia this morning. Nice temperature, cloudy and little traffic.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy needed some money to buy wine at the shop as she couldn’t pay by card so she came and asked me to get some cash out for her. In the evening the same thing happened at 7-11. We share our money so it’s not that big a deal but it was something that we couldn’t control at the time though because we were together the solution was quick and easy so Amy didn’t have any frustration.
What are you most thankful for?
This seems obvious but I’m most thankful to be alive. I wouldn’t be anything otherwise.

I took this picture because I find this building incredibly interesting. It looks like it’s from a Ghibli movie. I’m not sure if it’s a hotel or a student dorm. I took this a couple of days ago up by the stupa. No photos at all today!

Youthful Idealism – 10th October 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Where’s my youthful idealism?
I fucking want it back
Now I’m old and tired
I’d rather just hit the sack
Why am I not shouting?
Thinking to make change
Wanting the best for everyone
Surely is not so strange
When did I give up?
Did I just get distracted?
Now I’ve got what I want
And I’m no longer impacted
Where’s your youthful idealism?
Why aren’t you complaining?
My life is almost over
But yours is still remaining

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.

Matt Haig, Reasons To Stay Alive

Today I’m feeling:
Happy and on holiday
Today I’m grateful for:
The men who cleaned my bike. I know I could have done it myself but I wouldn’t have been so thorough.
The best thing about today was:
Getting some more blog stuff done whilst listening to music. Also finishing another book. I still look at my bookshelf with joyful anticipation for future reading.

Do you owe someone money? Does someone owe you?
I don’t owe money to anyone or any institutions. I am debt free.

I guess some people do owe my money but it’s in the past and doesn’t amount to much in the scheme of things.

I generally live by the rule that if you lend someone twenty dollars and never see them again then it was probably worth it.

Of course, I loaned out much more substantial amounts to bands in the past and mostly managed to chase down outstanding amounts.

If I loan or lend anyone money now, which is rare, I don’t expect to see it again but happy if it does get repaid. This is only because I am now financially secure. Let’s hope it stays that way.

I took this picture because this is the cleanest I have seen my bike since buying it. It was worth the 45 baht expense!

I Don’t Care About You – 31st March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The biggest news story in the world
Feels like a stunt for clicks and views
A cynical celebrity advertisement
Where all concerned stand to lose

A slap heard around the world
Is irrelevant to anything we do
Don’t waste time on whats and whys
When all you hear can’t be true

Your lives are as meaningless as mine
We are all just blood and bones
Our status is an illusion we live
Our eternity all spent under stones

My opinions as meaningless as yours
Why bother to waste this breath?
Of many a lesson ever learned
We win no awards with our death

6th Apr 2024 – Submitted to RagTag Daily Prompt

If you are lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.

Jean Paul Sartre

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Cap comes and gives me head rubs throughout the day. He’s not a lap cat at all so I’ll take what I can get.

A strange mood today but quite contented at least. Have some struggle with memory and concentration as reading inspires thoughts in many directions, though all leading back to the one place. Me. Concerned I may lose the ability to converse, to communicate. As calm, quiet days wash over me, I have little to report. Will I get lost in my mind? Do we all just thrive on being entertained?

It’s with some relief that today is the last day I have to go to school just to sign in. It is a rigid task that imposes its habit on me and I realise I’m grateful. So, without that stimulus, I must find another focus. 7 am, every day. Get up, exercise, meditate. I must do it for my own health. I should walk too, get out. I will fulfil the desire for a long ride but only once I’m paid.

Struggling through the last dwindling baht of this month’s pay. May not be able until next week, as we suffer the lack of technology, being paid by cheque and receiving clearance on the whim of a bank. Some places we win, others we lose.

I’ve rediscovered, as we do each day, that I’m a country boy. Sure, I love the excitement of the city but I feel absorbed into the peace of nature. Soon (this year, 5 years, 10 years?), I must decide what’s next. Time apart from Amy is manageable but I don’t want it to be forever, at least whilst forever may be avoided. She is still in her honeymoon period and hasn’t had to face any test of her resolve. We form new dreams and make new plans accordingly. She is my other half, my better half.

The New Pleasure – 11th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

There’s a devil on one shoulder
And an angel on the other
Whispering in opposites
Whether I should even bother
One looks upon this as virtue
The other as if it’s sin
I’ve got to brush them away
If I’m ever to begin

To assume you are below average is to admit you’re still learning. You focus on what you need to improve, not your past accomplishments.

Derek Sivers

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for our overabundance of mulberries. I picked a whole bowl yesterday and they’ve only just started (fruiting).

I felt like changing things up this morning and came to 22 Grams to sit, read, and drink coffee. This is still my favourite coffee, so I had a couple, even after having one earlier at House.

I dropped into school first and said goodbye to the few kids who were there. There was nothing else for me to do there, and I don’t know what we’re supposed to be doing next week either. I should put some new lesson plans together.

I almost convinced myself to go for a massage today, but it’s already midday, and I’m good to go home instead. Talked with Amy last night, and she is so happy. I miss her being around, but I feel happy too that she is so happy. Who knows what direction we will go in the future, but we have many choices, and we’re grateful for that.

Picked the first bowl of mulberries yesterday, and there will be many bowls more. I should put down a sheet and just shake the tree. I might try that today. Need to do some weeding, and maybe the grass at the front.

Also, I have to take Cap and Tig for vaccinations tomorrow. Running out of money already this month. If I have to pay a lot for the cats, I might be in trouble. At the same time, I got a big payment through Bandcamp for all the sales last week. I could transfer that in, though I’d like to use some of it to buy some more CDs.

Buzzing on these coffees now. Time to go. 

Sacred Solitude – 29th January 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I must nourish myself to face the world
I’m always on the way to my home
I’m happy to have myself as my best friend
I’m never lonely when I’m alone

6th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Moonwashed Musings
11th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge

All it takes to get better at something is first a willingness to be bad.

Austin Kleon

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to all the people, technology and coordination that enable Amy to fly from here to Australia this weekend. It is not that long ago that this would be difficult to imagine.

I’m at home now, alone. Amy will be in the air on the way to Bangkok. The first hour at home. Have rearranged the living room and bedroom furniture a little as I will exercise in the bedroom in the morning now. Save a minute of time as I figure out a new routine for the working week.

It feels weird to have some freedom, or almost complete freedom (except for financial). Have I gotten used to the pseudo-authoritarianism of a loving relationship? Of course, whilst I’m free to do whatever I like, I will not do anything that would damage my and Amy’s relationship.

After saying goodbye at the airport, I dropped by Big C and bought some pomelo and had forgotten that there’s a B2S there and so splashed out on two new pens to replace those that ran out or broke last week. An 80 baht extravagance. I have to get carfeul with money. I’m already running coffee credit at House and Utopia until I get paid again. Need petrol for the bike and the car. It’s a test.

25th Feb 2026 – 4 years and a month later, I’m still running credit at House and Utopia – though not the same one. I do pay it off every month.

What To Do? – 5th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Son, I learned a lot of lessons in life
I should pass them on to you
But you don’t want to listen to me
Too old to know what you go through

*You’re going to learn things the hard way
That’s how I learned them too*
One day, you too will realise this
And then you’ll also wonder what to do

*pinched from Drive Like Jehu’s ‘Caress’

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Gui and Art for allowing me to get coffee on credit for a few days while I wait for payday. It’s not that I don’t have money but that I can’t let the amount in the bank go under 400,000 baht for my visa application.

Well, I thought about telling George as I wrote yesterday but then this morning he saw me down one of the hallways and didn’t wave or say hello at all. I shouted out hello but he’d stepped out of sight. Well!

So, anyway, I went into the teacher’s room where he was sitting and said good morning directly to him to which he replied with a quiet disposition. I got some water and as I was leaving asked him how he was keeping. As has been the case almost every time I try to start a conversation with him I have to repeat the question again as if he wasn’t listening, paying attention or couldn’t hear. I asked him about Bee and said I missed her. It wasn’t going to get much beyond platitudes.

Anyway, I made an effort. I appreciate that for myself.

School Of Life – 4th August 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Even as a teacher, I am still a student of life
My own students teach me many things
Don’t take any learning for granted
Enjoy the satisfaction new knowledge brings

7th Mar 2024 – Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 38

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the money I receive for my work. It helps us enjoy nice things when we would like.

Just looking back to this time last year I can see how happy I was with teaching at this school. Of course, it’s nothing to do with the school but to do with the students. They make it all worthwhile.

I saw that I was grateful to George for helping me get this job and it is only since then that I am aware of the differences between us. I rarely see him at school at the moment and haven’t talked to him for weeks, beyond hello and goodbye. I’m thinking I should at least make an effort to thank him again. It will be awkward but doable. It would make me feel good and perhaps do the same for him (not actually sure about that).

I had a really great experience with 2/9 this morning – the same kids I mentioned this time last year. We have been studying the story of the Eagle and the chickens, about the eagle who grows up with chickens and never gets to really achieve his potential, content just to be a chicken.

Many of the students answered the question about the moral of the story being that it is best to accept things and fit in. This took me a little by surprise and I had to explain about the different cultural thoughts around these things. As a teacher, I am still a student. I love that.

I would like to be able to explain to them more clearly about what I feel is the meaning of this story and encourage them to break free and fly higher. Awesome.

We got that attitude! – 29th November 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I am so happy and grateful for the money I have behind me. I’m not rich by any means but have enough to do most anything that I want to do. Things would be a lot different if it wasn’t there.
I am so happy and grateful to have a friend with the same child-like wonder that I still have. We went for a long bike ride into the mountains, we didn’t talk much but were happy to be exploring the world with each other.