Tag: poem

Chimera – 14th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A fiction in fact
Feigned and fabricated
A figment intact
An invention stated

Imagined free will
A prayer to the sky
Blessed to kill
And martyred to die

A daydream nation
A fancy illusion
Fabled creation
Another final solution

A lie is a lie

Submitted to dVerse’s Quadrille – figment

Today I’m feeling:

Contented and happy.  It’s the end of the day now, and it feels like it’s been a big, long week.  I think it may only be the second full five-day week of teaching I’ve done in the first 7 weeks of this semester so far!

But, it was a day with three different but interesting classes that I enjoyed a lot.  The first was with grade 11s, where they are putting together presentations, and I taught them about using grammar checkers and ChatGPT to spice up their content (and hopefully, they don’t get smart enough to use it to write their presentations in full!)  I was actually surprised no one in the class knew how to use it already.

They all went through their presentations again, and though they are mostly still ranging from awful to average (with a couple of very good ones) we are going through it slowly and adding, improving and practicing and I’m hoping that they can feel that they are slowly improving over the course of the semester.

After that, I did the Thai Ghosts lesson with the Hospitality/Japanese grade 11s, and they were all quite interested and keen on it, though I was happy to acquiesce to their demand to finish off the work as homework so that we could all get out for lunch a little earlier.  I had to go to the bank, too and could sneak in an extra coffee at House whilst out.

So, after the morning disappeared in a flash, it was on to my grade 8s, where all they had to do was a 30-question online quiz based on the 6 texts they’d written and previously answered comprehension questions on.  I told them that they couldn’t finish until they got more than 75%.

I can remember writing about this last year and the fact that the lazy kids who forget their books are going to get caught out as they won’t have what they need to refer to.

This year, the class did much better, and it was really enjoyable helping those that are struggling with the English and showing them how to find the answers.  I could feel them getting all serious as it was starting to dawn on them that when they’ve just been copying answers before, they haven’t developed the skills to find them for themselves.

I directed them through their books, giving them clues on where and how to find the answers, and they were all quite proud of themselves by the end.  It made us all happy.

Once home, I’ve just sat in front of the TV trying to unwind.  I’m tired but not sleepy yet.  As I’m writing this, though, I’m reminded of just what a good day it has been.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding old videos of Ipswich Town from the 70s and 80s on YouTube and feeling all nostalgic about those days of watching football on TV with a picture quality worse than 360p.  

It’s interesting to read some of the comments of others who were around at that time too and how much respect Ipswich got for their achievements, even from fans of other teams.

The best thing about today was:

Pretty much as written above.  Very enjoyable.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In my last class my student Ten has finally fallen out of favour with almost everyone after his closest friends have deserted himself, realising that he just treats them like shit.  They talked with me about him today, and they are struggling with it because they try to help him and encourage him, but Ten gives nothing back.

I can see clearly that he is compensating for his lack of ability to learn and develop social skills, and I can also see that my behaviour at times would have been similar.

He sulked around the classroom, not really attempting the work, and I decided to let him stay that way while I was helping others.  I asked him a few times to get started, but he just slouched off elsewhere until I found him again staring into space.

Finally, I translated for him, ‘Pick yourself up.  Look at how hard students like Nut and Namsai are trying to understand.  You can do this too.’

After about 80% of the students had finished and I started letting them go, I found Ten in the next classroom with Ploy, KanomBang and Namsai helping him, showing him what I had just shown them.  I joined in, and we all encouraged him, and by the en,d he managed to pass and felt a little better about himself.

He’s learning some big lessons right now, and it will take him a while to recover.  It will be interesting to watch.

Something I learned today?

Kru David told me that Thailand ranks something like 140th in the world for education.  I joked that there are not many more than 140 countries!  It’s sad for these kids but good for me.  I’m trying my best, and I have my own expectations, but in general, the expectations of the school won’t be that high.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

As last week, I dropped into Kru David’s least favourite class to teach (but with some of my favourite kids) and helped Nicha and Fah to try to get to grips with what was trying to be taught, which was alliteration in poetry.  They both looked perplexed and wanted to give up but were happy to let me try and explain to them so that they could at least get something from it.

Whilst I was writing something to help Nicha, she was playful and brought her eyeball up to mine and then her nose to mine and laughed and said to Fah something along the lines of ‘I almost kissed the teacher!’  I ignored it and brought her back to the writing, but it was a little weird, I guess.

I have no problem being mildly affectionate with my students in a fatherly way and Nicha could still pass for a primary student as she is so small, skinny and still a little immature in her behaviour.  But afterwards, I was thinking how I would react if she had pecked me on the lips!

I know some of these kids are testing things with me because they feel comfortable and safe to do so, but there is also a line that has to be drawn.

Anyway, Nicha and Fah went to Kru David with the bare amount of understanding but at least now had the confidence to do so, instead of running out of the class as they had been doing in past weeks.

Day 7

Courage – 13th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 17 Comments

Alone in the dark, deeply breathing

The sigh became a laugh
A call for arms

Wrapped warmly, waiting
Gathering courage
Anticipating that first kiss

A cherita shared with Shay’s Word Garden – breathing, laugh, kiss.
27th Nov 2025 – Shared with What’s Going On – courage

Today I’m feeling:

Almost out of energy.  I slept well, and the alarm shocked me awake for once this week.  Pushing through, though.  Only one more day left of the work week after today.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Jern telling her students that the last class of the day finishes at 4.30 and if you want to leave earlier you have to get everything done.  Today, the kids were on the ball,l and we were all able to get out by about 4 pm.

Nomsen’s ‘family emergency’ yesterday turned out to be a birthday party with some of her older friends.  Not impressed, and Kru Jern agreed, but I let it slide.

The best thing about today was:

The fish stall at the street market was there today, thankfully, so I’m full up on fish, rice and chilli.

Something I learned today?

Little Namwan, the little tom boy student that was scared of me for about 18 months because I physically picked her up near the bathrooms and deposited her back in class 4 years ago now suddenly appeared in my afternoon class (after not turning up for my class in the morning that she was supposed to be at).

When I asked her what she was doing there, she just pointed to Ploy (whose birthday it was today).  Knowing Namwan, she is obviously crushing on her, as she did with Nicha last year.  It’s interesting to watch.

Namwan is 4 years older but seems to lack a lot of confidence compared with her peers, so perhaps she feels on a more even playing ground with the younger students.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

My driving was a bit less rushed both this morning and evening.

Amy and I tried to fix up the bird nest after Amy did some ant extermination around the plant where it is.  She could see ants getting to the nest and maybe annoying the chicks.  Doing that kinda disturbed the nest, though, which is kinda precariously balanced between two stems.

Feathers forming. Not much room for mum now.

Blue Explosion – 12th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Holding the power of blue
The nobility thought noble
Peasant acceptance grew
Hypnotised and immobile

Violence in the Kush
For the truest blue ever seen
Not just any old push
But the ultramarine

An accident with blood
Gave us the Berliner Blau
Once where Prussia stood
And is Germany now

Taken on a blue plate
Not so appetising
Slows the heart rate
Without even realising

Introverted, honest and loyal
Calm and composed
Sometimes sensitive to spoil
And a stone heart exposed

Submitted to Moonwashed Musings

10th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Living Poetry – blue

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired on waking, after our cats kept scratching at the door as soon as the sun came up.  On the third or fourth time of letting Cap in and out, I rolled over, snuggled back in for my alarm to go off a second later.  Up and at ‘em!

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru NumNim taking over my morning class from today.  Unfortunately, it means I have six hours to kill each Wednesday now before my only class of the day.  Fortunately, I have six free hours now!  

I think the kids were pretty happy, too – it’s cut down my hours with these grade 8s from 9 to 7.

The best thing about today was:

I got a message from Nancy to drop by the office and was happily surprised to find a cheque for 2750 baht.  I’m not sure what it is for, but I’ll take it!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

By the end of sitting with my laptop at House for six hours waiting for my class, I was pretty exhausted, and my eyes were feeling strange.  I pulled back on asking too much of the class, and we just went through some translation, a word search game and then a spelling test.

Everything was going as planned until a couple of students had their bags packed and ready to leave even though the class wasn’t finished.  I told them to sit down, but then one, Nomsen, started crying. After a minute or two,o Film told me that there was some sort of family emergency and that Nomsen’s family were waiting for her downstairs.  If that was the case, why were other students wanting to leave too?

I let Nomsen go but made everyone else stay, and the lesson was over probably only ten minutes later, even though the allocated class time still ran for another half an hour.  Much like the kids, I want to get home, too!

Something I learned today?

Amsterdam to phase out 1,280 Chinese CCTV & traffic cameras over five years amid spying concerns! Oh, the ironing!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I got to school quickly this morning, quicker than necessary and cut in on a car that came out of a junction and drove slowly, forcing everyone to change lanes. Considering how much time I had to get to school, I can slow down.

Getting home….ugh.  Having to go to TLC after school meant I hit the traffic driving, and I can’t stop myself from getting annoyed at people not moving up quickly enough once the lights are green.

I was pretty hungry and tired, but I should try to breathe and take it easy.  I’m sorry, everyone.

What’s one world event that has recently impacted me?

Since the pandemic, there is not really anything going on in the world that impacts me directly.  Things like wars and politics in other countries do impact financially with inflation. The politics in Thailand and locally have no real effect that I know of, too. Maybe ignorance is bliss? If I have no idea about something, is the impact lessened? Is it only our perception that makes us more emotional?

Every day a little bigger, a little stronger.

Peak – 11th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

First steps, first sight
Begging to be fed
All the crying might
Be all that’s ever said

First walk, first flight
Strong enough to feed
Eyes down, left and right
In search of the seed

To run, leave home
No time to be weak
No one goes alone
To rise to the peak

Submitted to Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge – peak. Also planned to submit to the Ovi Challenge – steps but forgot to make it an Ovi!

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again, though I know I could do with more sleep.

I was woken in the night by a poo dream!  I just went for a pee though, fearing that dealing with a poop would’ve woken me up too much.

In my dream, I was wearing a nappy but wanted a toilet.  Seems to be remnants of a thought about when grandmum had to start wearing adult nappies.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to take it a little easier driving to school because I’m leaving a little earlier.  Hopefully, it will save a little on petrol as well as speeding fines!

The best thing about today was:

Not one thing in particular again, but another great day all around.  Very enjoyable.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I asked my grade 8s what is one activity that they like that their friends don’t, and Satang, who is a well-sized chubby boy, wrote that he likes to arm wrestle, but none of his friends like it.

So I sat down opposite him and we arm wrestled, and he beat me pretty easily on our right hands (and I could feel my muscles hurting from all my recent morning exercising).

I gave him a fair go on the left hand, but ultimately, he was too strong on that one too.

The whole class cheered and whooped.  I hope it gives Satang a little confidence boost.

Something I learned today?

I offhandedly sent a message to Baipad asking how her day was, and she said, ‘Everything feels like it’s going fast…Maybe because I’m happy?’ 

It made me a little teary (with happiness)

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I offered to fix all the grammatical errors in the play that Jet, Lin, Noah etc are doing and spent about 40 minutes going through it.  Now it makes sense!  I also went and watched them rehearsing for a little while after my last class.

I need to start thinking about little things that I could improve on as I don’t seem to be falling down with bad acts too much….

Day 4

Sometimes, The Hare – 10th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

One forward followed by two back
Searching endlessly to fill the lack
Uncertainty jags wider the crack
Does the turtle always win the race?

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 51 – steps

Today I’m feeling:

Great for getting up a few minutes earlier, working out and beating the traffic to work. This morning, all the kids were in happy, playful moods, so it was a good start to the day.

Mondays are pretty easy for me, even with 5 hours in class, so I felt relaxed even though I had to rush some coffees and didn’t get much writing done.

Today I’m grateful for:

The students who have been dragged into performing a play this year.  Most of them are my students, either currently or in the past.  I was teaching next door to where they were practising, and they pulled me in to help them with some pronunciation practice. I felt grateful that they knew that they could come to me for help.

Even though I’m already busy, I offered to help them when I had some spare time.

The best thing about today was:

My grade 8 student Manow, who for parts of last semester was shy and wary of me, had her 14th birthday today and as I called her up to the board to do the last piece of work for the class, I announced (though everyone knew) that it was her birthday and we all proceeded to sing Happy Birthday for her.

She then shared out her cake, which she had been carrying around all day and as there were only ten minutes left for the class, it quickly got devoured.

She has warmed up to me a little more now that she realises that I am there to help her with learning.  She’s not great at English, but I give her encouragement for her effort.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

When I got home, I was happy to see that the gardeners had been and things were looking tidier again (until you look closely anyway).  I was appreciative that they had left alone the part of the garden I cordoned off and asked Amy to remind them to leave, too.

But then, Amy told me to go and look out in the drive, and there were the sad remains of two of our best ghost cactuses. Sigh.

Amy asked me to pay the gardener, which has left me well short of cash this month.  I asked her to send pictures of our ravaged cactuses and to ask them to take more care.

Something I learned today?

Sydney Swans beat Geelong yesterday, and I was able to at least watch the 15-minute mini-match, though things weren’t looking good as we went six goals down and didn’t get our first into deep into the second quarter.  Things came together after that, though, and things are looking positive for the future this season.

It’s kind of annoying that this season, when we are doing so well, is the first season I haven’t been able to watch the full matches. I’m still not going to fork out a week’s wages for a subscription, though.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I took Baipad a piece of Amy’s carrot cake this morning.

When I showed this picture to Jet, she said she suddenly felt hungry for fried chicken!

We Aren’t The Freaks – 9th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Life forever felt like a struggle
We were constantly despised
Together we slowly gathered
– We aren’t the freaks I realised

The tribes became a legion
We held hands and joyously cried
All wishing for a better life
– We aren’t the freaks you realised

With a quiet determination
And through all the things we tried
So we came to change the world
– We aren’t the freaks we realised

Inspired by a thought by Norman Brannon in the Anti-Matter Anthology

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again. I did sleep an hour beyond my alarm but was able to force myself to exercise again. 

I want to vacuum my room and sit and do some writing, if possible today. Admittedly, I don’t feel like writing when I’m at home, preferring to be in a cafe where there are less distracting options.

Today I’m grateful for:

The carrot cake that Amy made whilst I was drinking my coffee this morning. After a couple of hours in the fridge, I ate it for my dinner.

The best thing about today was:

Getting lots of things done in my room today, including vacuuming up all the dried-up lizard shit.

I read a bunch of poetry, wrote three new poems and started analysing some texts for a blackout poem. I only managed to play a little guitar because I got distracted talking with Team in Bangkok about his latest EP and then figuring out whether to make some CDs for it too.

I also got a little bit of work done and prepared for this coming week.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite getting lots done, I still ran out of time with lots of other little things having to wait. 

Something I learned today?

94% of the USA want to end the war in Ukraine. But they don’t get to decide that.

I took this picture because I’ve been struggling to take pictures recently, and I can see these becoming a daily photo opportunity following their lives from egg to flight!

Reading My Poetry – 8th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments
Painting by Catrin Welz-Stein

I was reading my poem
To the owl up in the tree
He was very puzzled
And staring quizzically

“Why are you up here
Reading this to me?”
Well, first I climbed up
Just to see what I can see

As I brought my book
And you decided not to flee
I thought perhaps
You’d enjoy some poetry
“Indeed, I am! It scans
And rhymes (almost) perfectly”

Now the moon is here
And if you would agree
I’ll read for you both
Another two or three

“We’ve all the time in the world
Nowhere else to be,
One about the moon
And the owl up in the tree?”

Submitted to dVerse picture prompt

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good, more than most of my recent Saturday mornings.

Today I’m grateful for:

Cap scratching at the door after he heard my alarm. I was going to get more sleep, but I got up for him and decided to exercise. I want to try to get out of my five-day routine and into a seven-day routine instead.

The best thing about today was:

Finding our little birdies had hatched. At first, when I went out to look in the nest, it looked like the eggs had been broken and the liquid inside had spilled out. 

I told Amy to come and look with a sad face and shaking my head, but when she came, suddenly these two little beaks appeared, open to the sky though they were still too young to make any noise.

I had noticed earlier in the day that both the mum and dad had been around at the nest, so it seemed that they had just been born, maybe even just within the hour.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Amy’s parent’s gutter specialists came today and said they can fix our gutter easily, quickly and for the same price as the last builder that fucked it up.

They said that it was obvious that the guy didn’t know what he was doing so Amy and I both felt vindicated on the shit that we’ve been giving him online. Amy also noticed that he’d removed many of his old posts and thought perhaps we weren’t the only people that he had ripped off.

Either way, we hope to have proper gutters back on Wednesday.

Something I learned today?

Art at Utopia video called with Noey, who is in the USA, whilst I was drinking my coffee this morning. She is on some kind of working holiday during her semester break. 

She said that she is eating pizza every day and misses rice! The only coffee she has now is black drip coffee and at the place she works, some kind of amusement park, a cup is $4.22 and hardly anyone buys it!

It’s a good experience for her and she looks like she is enjoying herself. It is also a reminder for me that most of the USA is ok, normal and people are generally getting on with their lives.

I took this picture because new life inspires.

Spawn – 7th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

A serial killer, an oil driller
Hardened by wooden toys
A road rager, black death plaguer
Once were blue-eyed boys

A nasty bitch, the spiteful witch
Waving a demonic wand
A dirty washup, a wicked gossip
Once were fair and blond

Even the spawn of Satan
Was once a lovely child
Depending on the road that’s taken
Arrives either mild or wild

Submitted to WDYS #241, this picture is way too cute not to take a completely opposite run at it. That’s just the way my brain works sometimes!

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty energised and happy, coffeed up, I enjoyed talking, teaching and playing with my students (and other random ones, too).

I talked with Baipad and a couple of her classmates about the gory videos they were shown in class and told Baipad that this was a great opportunity for her to stand up for herself and make her opinion known.  I tried to convince them that their opinions are valid and whilst they may not be listened to, they have the right to be expressed.

I could see from her face that she knew this but wasn’t able to steel herself to do it.  Still, it’s early steps in showing support and one day, hopefully, she will be brave enough to stand up for herself.

The first two classes were grade 11, so they were pretty well behaved (though still have to put my foot down every now and then) and after a quick break, onto the grade 8 scoundrels who were entertaining, and, with gently prodding, made fairly valiant attempts at their reading.

As I was on my way out, I ducked into Kru David’s class and helped some of the bored and dejected students who were struggling with being asked to write a very simple poem.

As I had no pressure, I had time to explain to a couple of students what the idea was about and how to complete it, and they seemed to get the gist.  Of course, when you are the only teacher in the room, it’s difficult to get around to all those strugglers and walk them through things more simply so that they can understand.

Today I’m grateful for:

A Facebook message from my students Baitoey and Piano saying that they missed me.  I was happy to receive it, though not sure exactly why they sent it as I bump into them around school almost every day.

The best thing about today was:

A positive feeling through most of the day without any exceptional highs or best thing that stands out.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

While teaching in the new building and in the room where Kru Pooky sits whilst I’m teaching, I got a bit annoyed that she kept asking various students to go and run errands for her.

When we were about to start an online quiz, I asked her where my student was and told her that he needed to be here in my class.  I didn’t push it any further than that, but hopefully, she understood my intention.  This is the Thai way to try to deal with Thais doing things in a Thai way!

Something I learned today?

Duolingo, which I make all my students use for 5 minutes a day, has introduced what looks like a reasonably good AI chat component to its teaching practice.  Hopefully, some of my students can benefit from this.

And whilst looking at the app to see if they’ve added Thai (which they haven’t, yet they have Klingon) I found that they have added music and math, so I’m looking into the music one just for fun.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I offered Aida a friendly ear if she needed to talk to someone over the weekend.

Two Silver Obols – 6th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 18 Comments

Haunted by the diminished
Sapped of all resolve
A painting left unfinished
Starting to peel and dissolve

Find the strength, one last push
A viral life-infected
Hope unseen in the burning bush
Smouldering and neglected

A final thought to deliver
No more liaisons, just goodbyes
Taken back unto the river
With pennies placed on the eyes

Submitted to Writer’s Workshop Prompts – strength and Shay’s Word Garden – haunted, neglected, liaisons, pennies

Today I’m feeling:

Up early again and feeling a little brighter and more positive after yesterday’s relative successes.

My first class went well as they had been suitably chastised by their homeroom teacher so they were quietly obedient for the first 30 minutes or so. As they got more comfortable though they soon fell back into their playful selves. At least I was a little more relaxed about it this time.

After that, my grade 12’s were a breeze and they surprised me a little with their capabilities. I’m guiding them slowly through IELTS speaking practice and whilst their speaking skills aren’t in place yet, I’m happy to see that their thinking skills are. Much as I am with Thai, they can understand more than they can speak, so I will let them build on this slowly.

I ducked out to House and managed to pen a couple of poems that I’m proud of and I think that my skills in this regard are improving too, so that was a good break for me – though not long enough!

Back into it for the last class of the day, which is always a struggle. I made sure the kids knew that I wasn’t messing around and when they finally got in line, they listened, helped each other and were able to finish. I rewarded them by letting them go early.

At home, things are quiet, though slowly returning to normal (I think!). With my lack of money, I can’t do some things that I had hoped to surprise Amy with to try to help things along. I’ll have to use my imagination.

Today I’m grateful for:

Meeting Nay at House this afternoon. She was there with friends when I arrived and I jokingly asked her if she could make my coffee, to which she laughed and declined.

The best thing about today was:

Probably the delicious curry that Amy made for me when I got home. My day was pretty good all round. I felt not too tired and quite upbeat.

I wasn’t particularly hungry but knew that I soon would be and I scoffed the lot. Actually, I’m not a scoffer, I take my time over food, but I did eat every last scrap.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After the struggle of my first class (grade 8s), the pleasure of my second class (grade 12s) I was both delighted and frustrated to see Kru David’s class of grade 7s all diligently listening and paying attention.

Maybe they will start acting up the more comfortable they get, but good for David, as he has struggled with the grade 8 and 9s that I constantly battle with but love so much.

Something I learned today?

UK paratroopers recreating the D-Day landings for the anniversary were forced to immediately go through French Passport Control since the UK is no longer part of the EU. All of this was captured on video.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Baipad messaged me this evening that her Thai teacher for the subject of health education starting showing gory videos at the end of their class. She wrote “He says something positive and then opens a video where the man got eaten by a bear and says don’t think too positive” WTF!

I can understand the message that he wants to teach but surely not the best way to go about it!

Baipad said she had to look away as he played more and that other students felt traumatised by it.

I told her that she should tell her homeroom teacher in the morning but that I will talk with her and the other students first to see if they want to make an issue of it or not. It’s very typical Thai style to not stand up for yourself though.

The Long Way Around – 5th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

There are things you should and shouldn’t do
No matter what you want
Then there are things you don’t want to do
That you don’t wish to flaunt

On the other side of our innocence
Character is constructed
No longer sailing through green lights
The way ahead obstructed

Things are one way until they’re not
Are you willing to accept?
The challenges being laid down for you
Are creating self-respect

Those broken shards poking at your feet
Makes the path ahead seem longer
But taking responsibility for your life
Makes the foundations stronger

Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

Flat and down.  I have no classes today as the kids will study online and no one has asked us farang teachers to do that.  I still had to come to school to sign in though and now sitting at House, reading and writing.

I’m reading about resilience as I plan to teach about it in the future and I’m doing my best to keep myself up but the uncertainty at home has me rattled.  I know that I have to do some things to improve the situation.  

Reading about resilience this morning made me consider that I am very good at the world view, dealing with big generalities but not so good at the one-on-one and personal.  I need to make some changes.

Today I’m grateful for:

There being no kids at school today, just a few kicking around doing various sports, allowing me free time, in the morning to read and write and in the afternoon to run around sorting things out (see below).

The best thing about today was:

Getting both our bike and car tax sorted out quickly and easily today.  Different to last year, we got up to the drive-through booth and I handed both sets of paperwork and the lady there didn’t say we had to do one and leave and come back to do the other like last time but she did say that we had to pay cash (not scan) for the motorbike one.  Neither of us had any cash so I told Amy I would come back and do it later.

Anyway, after doing the car tax and paying off my four speeding fines the lady then proceeded to do the motorbike one and said we could scan!  What was that about?  Well, never mind – we got it all done, quick and easy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As we were driving to the transport office I got a call from FedEx about the shipment of records from Taiwan and found out the customs tax on them is 3500 baht!

Thinking that I maybe had a bunch of other speeding tickets to pay, maybe up to 10 I was seeing my money disappear rapidly.  I only got paid yesterday and already more than 10,000 has gone already!

Anyway, what can I do?  If I don’t pay they will get sent back and I’d lose a shit ton more money.  I don’t think I’ll be doing much vinyl anymore.

Something I learned today?

I read up about Charon’s Obol and wrote a poem that references it.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I messaged for a little while with Aida and she told me about how her mum has been beating her since she was little.

She said that her dad left before she was born and I’m guessing that her mum has a lot of unresolved issues.  I don’t get how parents can beat their children though.  It’s wrong.

How do I feel about the year so far?

The year is the year, things have happened, mostly good, some bad and stressful.  

Right now I’m not feeling particularly positive but I feel certain that is just my brain focusing on the negative more than all the good things that are in my life.  

And the past is the past.  What next, what now?