Handbag Murder – 2nd June 1984

There’s a new terror sweeping the streets
Grannies with handbags looking for beats
And people wonder what brought this on
Whatever they think they’re always wrong
Handbag murderers are waging their war
On all the muggers who were before
Now is a lesson to be learnt
Don’t mess with granny if you don’t wanna get burnt
Morals? – Morals, the papers say
These vigilantes shouldn’t be put away
But a life’s a life – as seen by your master
Morals – morals?

9th June 2023 – Is violence ever acceptable? 100% inspired by Monty Python’s Hell’s Grannies.

Danger Ranger – 1st June 1984

Forget Superman and Spiderman too
When in trouble he’ll always help you – who?
Danger Ranger
Comic book heroes are really a bore
No one reads them anymore – they read
Danger Ranger

Danger Ranger ain’t no stranger
To the high life
Danger Ranger ain’t no stranger
To fucking your wife
Danger Ranger ain’t no stranger
To alcohol and drugs
Danger Ranger ain’t no stranger
To beating up thugs

Danger Ranger is full of shit
He helps to give you a false impression
Then he fucks with your life
To make sure you learn your lesson
Danger Ranger

Work – 26th May 1984

Kiss the workhouse
Kiss it goodbye
Out at last
Free from the lie
Job satisfaction
Wages
Social Industry
Boredom
Conditioning
How many people out there are listening?
Moan on the dole
Clone control
Work work work work work work work work – know what I mean?

7th June 2023 – From age 13 until finishing school we were asked what jobs we wanted to do when we left school. How was a dumb boy like me supposed to know? Well, that’s why we had career advice lessons and a beginner’s introduction to the soon-to-be popular ‘buzzwords’. I still quite like this poem.

What Have You Done? – 24th May 1984

You sit alone, thoughts in your head
What can you say that hasn’t been said?
What can you do that hasn’t been done?
You know you’re not the only one

What will you do now you’re having fun?
Will you look back at what you have done?
You gave up the world for your selfish aims
So you could carry on with your games

Now I’m asking you what have you done?
You don’t know or care as long as it’s fun
Won’t you help? You know you can save me
You know you could love me but hate is all you gave me

What will you do now you’re having fun?
Alienate me more that you’ve already done
So long as you’ve got friends and a bottle to drink
You can live life without having to think

To think
What have you done?
The end
Is sure to come

Transformation – 18th May 1984

Now you’ve come of age at last
It’s time now to forget your past
Keep your hair clean and fix your face
Now you are in your place
Nice, systematic, cool, controlled
I’m afraid I’m not that old
Nice….systematic….cool….controlled
Transformation
When you get old – time to change again
It’s a shame – there’s no remain – of your brain