All the songs on a piece of paper Writing about my extravagant caper And of my hate for this system School, army, law – I’m no Christian
29th May 2023 – A succinct list of hated things. Or was I already aware that everything I was listening to and writing myself was about the same things over and over? I don’t think I was that self-aware yet. I do remember my mum asking me to stop listening to such angry and depressing music but my contradictory self denied that it made me feel depressed. She may have been right but I felt it was important at the time to be learning about things worked out there in the real world, which I was still very far away from.
Look quietly out of the corner of my eye Paying attention to two things at a time Slyly spying in yesterday’s mind Spying from the corner of my eye Out of the corner of my eye, I see Everything that is behind me So I walk forward into another eye So I can play a little game of I-Spy Out of the corner of my eye
You’re worth nothing cos no one wants you Is it your fault? Do you want to Change to be with the flowing crowd But you can be – keep yourself proud – Change for the crowd
Got no friends, nowhere to go You can’t go to the disco Cos you stick out like a sore thumb If anyone sees you, you’re gonna be done – The afterbirth of life
Do you want friends or to be alone? Life is more fun on your own “If no one trusts you, why trust them?” Twisted philosophy with one problem – Alone with yourself
Can you stand it? Do you want to? Who do you wanna be – me or you?
The lost boats, the lost lives Drowning souls as waves dive Seeking refuge at the ocean’s depth Falling in the hope of rest Search switches south for the lonely men Family still hope to see them again Never found, not a ring or hair Cos they floated north and no one did care
27th May 2023 – I was tempted to rewrite that last line but decided to leave it as written in 1984. I was inspired by learning about the Bauhaus song Terror Couple Kill Colonel which was written based on a newspaper headline. It’s not easy to find a newspaper these days to look for inspiration and looking online for similar doesn’t usually occur to me. Still, inspiration is everywhere.
There’s a six-minute warning all over the land Destruction of the country, it’s all been planned A tape is playing now the councillors have gone The last man’s voice that moans on and on
“Get to your bunker as quick as you can You can build one now, you should have the plan Whitewash the windows, it doesn’t cost much And don’t worry…..we’ll be in touch”
A few minutes left til the blast explodes high above There’s people out on the streets quickly making love Now the bomb’s exploded and everyone has gone But the last man’s voice drones on and on
There is a girl sitting next to me Talking love and boys, love and boys Manipulated by lies in her youth Taught to pick up all the boys Girl, it isn’t in your nature Girl, I don’t want to hate ya Girl, I won’t love you Girl, not what I’d do
A picture of you In front of my eyes Blinding me with lies
A picture, hundreds of them Screaming at me Sending me insane, I can’t see
Been down for years, that’s all I know Just keep thinking But I got nothing to show
The last time I was walking tall I was jumping from a bridge Was saved by a man Who put out his hand Then he went away, left me alone
I felt alone, I felt all alone I needed him, I wanted a friend Just one friend to show me home
Scars, scarred Buring like salt on a slug Pains in my head, fucking my broken body Sieving through my distorted logic Gimme that knife, screw your life What about mine? It means nothing to you You’re doing fine
Last time I smiled was in a Halloween mask A false face that no one looks past
Seeing only what they want you to see Being only what they want you to be Seeing only what they’re told to see Being only what they’re told to be
If only they could see through me I’m not as false as they believe But things ain’t what they seem Especially with your eyes closed
Open your fucking head It’s your knife, it’s your life But I’ll be the one who ends up dead
I was conceived at the wrong time, wrong place It’s too late now, I’ve seen my face All your knowledge gone to waste On the septic tank behind my face
You call them brains But they’re used like drains For your filth, your scum Your perverted waste Your putrid odour is all I taste, all I taste
With the lips that spoke three words I hate you or I love you Means the same to me in your language
Cos your language is mine Your thoughts are mine Your mind is mine (My mind is yours) Your body is mine (My body is yours) Your soul is mine (My soul is yours) You are me
So I’m gonna chew your brains When you chew mine
Totally inspired by Henry Rollins stream of consciousness ranting on Armageddon Man by Black Flag
Nibbling ears, chewing cheeks I’m a rat destroying the weak The lazy old men in rocking chairs Some in their coffins after I’ve nibbled their hair I am the rat eating the rich I’m not fussy about what or which Try to catch me but I won’t be caught Not in the rat traps you have bought You’ll never catch me whatever you do Don’t bother trying or I’ll destroy you
22nd May 2023 – Never let the syllable count get in the way of what wants to be said!
1994ever 