A little bit tired and unmotivated. With no kids at school for the rest of the week I have lots of time to read, write and prepare more lessons but now I’m sitting here in the cafe I kinda just feel sleepy!
Amy had a sore throat a couple of days ago and mine is starting to tickle a little bit too.
I have to go to the dentist at 11.30 but hopefully it won’t be too expensive and shouldn’t need any work done.
Today I’m grateful for:
A decent, long downpour which has finally seen the temperature become more bearable. Ironically, I’m not at school to enjoy it and everything will be back to scorched and sweaty by next week would be a pretty good guess.
Still, it was nice to feel the cold rain on my skin when I was outside looking around the garden.
The best thing about today was:
My phone being ok (see below) and also the dentist telling me everything was looking ok and them cleaning up some plaque for me.
I wasn’t too surprised when the bill was 800 baht, so I sent through the payment via my phone but then the receptionist realised that she had given me the wrong invoice and that, in fact, today was free of charge. So she refunded me in cash!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy sent me across from the cafe to get some cookie bags from the bakery and I was leaving my phone fell out of my pocket and something happened that has made it difficult to use. I’m hoping that it is nothing too big and expensive to fix but it will be a further strain on my budget this month.
(Later) I managed to restart the phone and everything was back to normal which is something else that I’m grateful for today.
Something I learned today?
I’m learning lots of little pieces of interesting information from my grade 12 kids with their oral diary.
Beam told me that he is really interested in human behaviour and psychology and wants to study that at university.
A vile legion, no alkaline vial A third eye opened up to show The first two burned out and bled Soon forgotten, supposed to know
A toot of one’s own horn I found myself getting in touch With beauty scarily sublime It overwhelmed, too much
As skin returned from blue The views up there began to fade Stirred up in a sandy wave To crash on the beach I made
It’s not these orange-tinted glasses Or butterflies flowing from my gut Reality was just a ‘barely hanging on’ Out of my mind, a door slowly shut
Submitted to No Theme Thursday and the attached picture as inspiration.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good. An easy start and a relatively simple first class with my grade 8s.
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to quickly rearrange my afternoon class so that everyone could finish early.
The best thing about today was:
Getting home by 3pm and though it’s a bit of a negative, I lazily watched TV rather than getting anything done.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My second class was supposed to be at 2.30, but a few students had told me that because other teachers were away, they had nothing to do until then.
So during my first class, I was thinking how to start at 12.30 instead so that everyone could finish early.
I decided to go for it and messaged them to come at 12.30 and we would find a classroom to study in.
It was only a little later that I realised that I had forgotten that this class is made up of students from two different programs, and one had classes until 12.30, which meant that they would miss lunch by coming straight to my class this time.
I thought I’d smoothed it over because I knew that they wouldn’t actually study until 12.30 and asked them to quickly grab lunch whilst they could.
The class went well and we got it all done in an hour, as the room was due for another class.
Later, I heard that the two groups of students were quarrelling about this change of plan, so I had to try and smooth things over. Though I also found out that this was not just about what happened today, but an ongoing situation between the two.
Something I learned today?
Burmese armed resistance are financing themselves by flooding Thailand with cheap drugs, causing a moral quandary for those who support their fight for (supposed) ‘democracy’ there.
Somehow, I never come across these cheap drugs!
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I watched all the students preparing for the drama competition and personally wished each of them good luck for the next few days. Lin, Jet, Namyen, Guitar, Noah, Poppy, Achang, Alew, Wipping, Palm and a couple of others. I dispersed all my coins to them as they begged for spending money while they are away. I think that cost me 17 baht in total! I hope that they have a good time because they have been working hard on this play.
I took this picture because these are my old students, Aoey, Pleng and AimAem rehearsing their speech for their competition. Unfortunately for them, they couldn’t stop themselves from laughing when I started taking pictures and holding my hands as they were. As with my other students, I wished them well and to try their best.
Pretty good, though I feel like I’m overheating. Not sure if something is going on in my body or it’s just leftover from pushing myself with exercise this morning.
Today should be a relatively easy day at school and hopefully I still feel motivated when I get home and play some guitar. I totally lazed away the weekend and though I don’t feel guilty about it, I still know that I should be doing stuff.
Today I’m grateful for:
Only five students turning up to my first class. They didn’t know where everyone else was and assumed that they were taking the whole week away from school, as from Wed-Fri, they are not at school and supposed to be studying online.
I played a Quizziz of each student’s choice for the first hour and then let them go for the second two hours of our class, so I’m back early for more coffee!
The best thing about today was:
The extra coffee time that turned out well, as I got a couple of nice poems written after doing a bit of reading and thinking.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Another one of my pens went missing today during my class with 2/7. I’m fairly certain that it is Program who is taking them as he is always trying to steal things out of my pocket, never has his own pen and always walks around the room and near the table when I am not there.
I may be wrong but I’ve got my eye on him.
Something I learned today?
As I had some spare time in the morning, I ducked into the grade 10 English class to chat with some of the students I knew and whilst there, Kru Ren came in to teach. He didn’t do anything to try and get the students attention and seemed to be just shouting to no one, as everyone else was either on their phone, playing games or making TikTok videos.
I just don’t get how that is going to work. But what was weird was that meeting some of the students a couple of hours later, I asked them about the class and they were able to talk about the subject fairly coherently. Maybe it got better after I left, or Kru Ren decided to teach in Thai rather than English, so that at least he would be understood.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I stayed back after my last class to talk with Praew some more. I think she is a little bit of an attention seeker in some ways and I’m not totally sure what to believe. With her anxiety, depression and being bullied in class, it is sure to mess with her behaviour.
You made them, baby boys Conceived in a sweaty room Forgotten fruit left to rot The urge to run too soon
Scattershot bonds stretch Heated passion, spoiled seeds Helpless baby boys flailing Without the direction he needs
You made them, baby girls Breeders, they can’t stop breeding Pretty pink unkissed lips Rushing towards the seeding
Scattershot, the TV dreams Promises whispered or unspoken Babies make babies cry So all the boys and girls are broken
Submitted to FOWC with Fandango and inspired by my experiences teaching wild and untamed students already on their sexual journies as their young parents are missing in action (for various reasons).
Today I’m feeling:
Good again. I pushed through the tough exercise again this morning, feeling breathless and sweaty by the end. Amy has been sound asleep in the mornings for the last few days and in the evenings I’m usually asleep well before her.
I enjoyed my first two grade 11 classes this morning and just have a reading class with the grade 8s this afternoon and it’s the weekend again.
Today I’m grateful for:
My student, Beam. In the task I set his class yesterday of sending me an oral diary telling me what they learned that day, Beam told me that he really enjoys my class and learning things from me.
Whilst he is smart enough to know how to butter someone up I believe his sincerity. It felt good to hear and encourages me. I will return that encouragement to the class.
The best thing about today was:
… (As I’m writing this on Saturday morning, I don’t feel that there was one best thing about yesterday. The day was pretty good all round until I ran out of energy, and as I’m still not fully recovered yet, it is clouding my memory of yesterday a little too.)
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In my last class, I could feel my energy giving out and was glad to end it a little early and then head home. I revived briefly with some dinner, but by around 7.30 pm, I was crashing badly and melting into the lounge, mindlessly watching TV.
Amy tried to revive me again before sleep, but ended up disappointed, and I was asleep an instant later.
(I didn’t even have energy to complete writing here and doing it now on Saturday morning)
Something I learned today?
Praew told me that she will leave our school at the end of the semester because of her unhappiness, and on further investigation, she told me it was because she was bullied in our class.
I thought maybe this was by her old friends, Nudee and Ueang, but I was surprised to learn that it was by KanomBang. I hadn’t seen this at all.
Somehow, she deals gently with her blues A feathery kind an introvert would choose All told her that she is beautiful and smart She counters she has no confidence at heart
Pretty good again. I got up and exercised, the 20-minute video workout again, not feeling quite as strained after finishing this time.
Once at school, Baipad, Apple, and Ploy were excited about a new game, and I also later downloaded it and played a bit tonight to see what it was all about.
It looks really good, but trying to follow everything on the small phone screen just makes my eyes ache. I can’t imagine what it is doing to children’s eyes, with them playing for hours on end.
After my morning coffee time, I had the pleasure of teaching the grade 12 kids, who are getting more into what I’m teaching them and also doing quite well.
With my younger kids, their blank stares usually indicate no understanding, but the older kids’ blank stares are them thinking! Part of my class today was about showing enthusiasm in their conversation.
Today I’m grateful for:
Not teaching my second class as the classroom was in use for next week’s competition preparation. I assigned the students some writing work to keep them busy for a little while, and was able to skip out an hour earlier than usual.
The best thing about today was:
Having the grade 12 students use the website that Kru Tang told me about today, and seeing the happiness on a few of their faces when they achieved relatively good scores testing their speaking.
I will get them to test themselves each week, and hopefully they will be able to see their own improvement over time.
Something I learned today?
Parents have complained to the school that the teachers are not teaching their classes because they are too busy preparing for next week’s competition, just handing out worksheets instead. I think the parents would complain even more if they actually saw what goes on in the classrooms!
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Spain turned up for class even though I had given them some writing work to do. He ended up following me around the school as I went checking up that the kids were doing their work.
Spain is a funny kid. He was some form of something or other, I wouldn’t like to say what, which seems to affect his social skills. With me today, though, he was nonstop talking, and I was quite impressed with his English skills. He struggles to make friends because of the way he is, but deep down, he’s a nice boy with a good heart.
Tonaor took this picture because she saw me passing by and shouted ‘selfie’, and everyone else came running out. From top right: Fah, me, Mei, Tonaor, August, Namthip, Namkhing, Nicha, Dena. Sadly, after three years of being in the ‘Talented English Program’, they can barely speak any English between them! Somehow, we’ve been able to bond and communicate with each other, though.
Incarnated into another low form Cursed again to never feel a real peace It’s too late now to wish I’d not been born The struggle to survive will never cease Next life, please guide me away from the storm Let me take a turn at a life of ease Shed this skin before an exchange of breath A return to life in exchange for death
A little tired but happy. I skipped exercise this morning as I was dead asleep from perhaps 10.30 until my alarm at 6 am.
My body is definitely feeling the effects of that exercise yesterday morning, so I’m ok to skip today and try it again tomorrow. It’s a kinda good tired feeling.
Today I’m grateful for:
Mee’s mum getting out of the hospital last night. I had just randomly messaged Mee to see how she was, and she said that her mum had been suddenly rushed to the hospital.
Happily, everything was ok. I didn’t ask anymore about it.
My guess is that it wasn’t as serious as Mee was making out, but I also know how important it is for her to have her mum back in her everyday life.
The best thing about today was:
Nong Praew told me that she has three dads. Her dad, her mum and me! That was nice to hear. I know she struggles in my class, not just with what I’m teaching but also socially.
I don’t know how much of an effect her medicine has on her, but she can be a little hyper happy sometimes, though she knows who to show it to and who not to show it to. I can understand why some students are put off by her, but as an adult, I can feel empathy for her.
She told me that she might move to Chiang Mai at some point because she is not happy at this school. I’m not sure how much that will help her in the long run.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My most annoying student really pissed me off today as he pulled down his best friends pants whilst he had his hands full, in front of the whole class. I asked him to leave and have since been talking to his homeroom teacher about what to do with him this time.
No previous warnings or punishments have had any effect and I believe they won’t have this time either. I will see if I can switch from teaching his class because I’ve had enough of having to deal with him.
Something I learned today?
“Do you want some tea?” Is the new kids code word “Do you want some gossip”. I found out this morning from JubJib that the gossip is that a group of grade 9 students from my old class are bullying Yurin in various ways. I think I wrote here a few days ago about it.
Whilst Yurin is unlikely to be blameless in whatever is going on, the others shouldn’t be ganging up on her either.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Kru NumNim was away from the grade 8 class this morning so I sat in and encouraged them to do their work which was a little tough as kids played and slept instead.
By the end of the class, about 80% of the students had at least put something together.
This morning Nong Praew gave me some rice crackers as a gift for which I thanked her. A few minutes later I met Lin and she looked very sad and thoughtful.
She couldn’t or wouldn’t explain what was wrong, so I just patted her back and handed over the rice crackers for comfort. I also sent her a message later on.
Unrecognised alive Ash and dust Swirl around your eyes As the grim sun starves Flies start investigating The first on-scene To witness the horror
An unrecognised state Take a breath Before the bullet Where revenge rises from the shadows Books and bodies burned On the wrong side of the fence The olive trees have no branches
One day, one day God’s wrath will flood the earth again
Happy, though a bit undecided. I woke up with a start, enjoying my sleep and a sexy dream (with Amy) and struggled through my first 20-minute video exercise, which made me feel good but also on the edge of over-exertion.
At school, the kids that I regularly visit in the morning were all in pretty good moods, and we chatted and played a little. Now I’m waiting for the first coffee to kick in before heading back to school early to help Kru Tang again, and then my first class of the day with my grade 8s.
Today I’m grateful for:
Gui for allowing me credit again last month and then for getting paid and being able to pay off the debt.
The best thing about today was:
I felt a bit rushed today but still got a few things done. I got to Kru Tang at 9.30 and whilst waiting for her students to arrive, my grade 11 students were doing an online speaking exercise that instantly gave them a CEFR and IELTS score.
I tried to help them a little bit and also thought it would be a good test to do with my other students too.
Something I learned today?
As I was leaving school yesterday, a car drove by and a shout came, ‘Hey, Teacher Shaun’. I looked around and waved back to see ShinChan driving an old car. This morning I saw him and asked him how old he is, to which he replied, 15!
He told me that he lives with his dad and they have a motorbike and a car. Sometimes his dad will take the motorbike, so he has to take the car to get himself to school.
He has a motorbike license, but I don’t think he can get a car license until he is 18. He knows to be careful, but could get caught out if someone crashes into him.
It’s good that he has taken some responsibility at an early age, and I have to chuckle a little at the way things work here.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I caught up with Anchan briefly this morning and found out that her mum should be home in a couple of weeks’ time. That’s great news for her if it happens.
Sitting with Baipad and Fahmai this morning, Fahmai said that Baipad is smart and beautiful. I told him that Baipad doesn’t think that she is and asked him why he thought that might be. He said he couldn’t understand that, and she quickly stated, ‘I’m not confident’. Hopefully, these kind words her friends say about her are remembered and will accumulate to bring her confidence in the future. Fahmai said that he is smart and beautiful, demonstrating his confidence.
Later on I was chatting online with both of them and I asked them about whether they did anything kind today which they both found something to say about each other. Well, that’s a start.
Kids playing together, July 2024. Earn, Dena, Namthip, Nicha and Fah, my old students, now grade 9.
I dreamt of many unknown friends Their benefits, my dividends Satisfying emotional needs Together, mind and body succeeds
When the pieces of the puzzle fit Combined along with opposite A touch is more real than money Pay the piper for a pot of honey
A delicate and delicious dance From sultry look to seditious glance So on this mental canvas paint A horse to ride without restraint
Sat in saddle; sound, secure Found the fun worth looking for Before the ride, one last check From tippy toes up to the neck
The rhythms of night relish to move From furious and fast to slow and smooth On the corner, shouts “I’m coming home!” Imagination ensures I’m never alone
Always welcome in this house to stay The dream, the wish to forever play Able to ignore all consequences Maintain in my own confidences
The dreams of which I’ll never tell Are memories where I often dwell
Despite spending a total of four hours at House today and constantly thinking there was something that I should do, then remembering and immediately forgetting, so it was I forgot to write anything here until now, in the evening.
All was smooth and good today with my first two hours freed up now. On arriving for my first class my students begged me that they wanted to go and watch their classmates in a dance competition at Kotchasarn. As there were 4 of the class involved there and about another ten also missing, preparing for the Teachers Day tomorrow, I decided it would be best to acquiesce on the condition that they do the writing work that I had planned before our class next week.
And so I went over and watched the competition for a little while by myself, as dance groups from various local schools competed for the chance to go on to the Provincial level competition.
It was a good atmosphere and I met August and we chatted about the competition and also whether we had anything like this when I was in school, which we didn’t. I guess in many ways the school I teach in is more progressive than the one I studied in.
In the end, I really only had to worry about my final class of grade 8s today and they are familiar with my requirements now as we do the same practical exercise twice a week just with different texts. It being the last hours of the day they know that the sooner they get down and finish my work then the sooner they can leave.
Today I’m grateful for:
Word of mouth. That’s how I found out that Teacher’s Day is happening tomorrow. It’s only now, in the evening, that Kru Mai has confirmed all the details for me and I will have another free two hours tomorrow morning. Hooray.
The best thing about today was:
Enjoying the atmosphere at the dance competition and then bailing after an hour, before my students had even performed, so I asked another student to send me a video later and I would give them points in class.
A little later the video came through and they performed really well and I sent them a message of congratulations.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I did get out into my room and played guitar for the first time this week. Unfortunately, it was for less than ten minutes though as I was busy sorting out other things.
Something I learned today?
Baipad sent me a picture of a fennec fox from her visit to Chiang Mai night safari. It looks like a kitten or puppy that hasn’t grown into its adult ears.
She was a little disappointed that she didn’t get to see any red foxes which are her favourite.
I took this picture of five of the dancers today. I recognise Neung but not sure if the others are in my class or not. The girls especially look almost unrecognisable when they dress up. Even Sarah, who I joke and play with every day made herself up and got some hair extensions and I wasn’t sure who she was when she started talking to me!
This Island Under night Skies a-blazing Rows and rows of homes Turning to ash and dust Maui, Hawaii – on fire No rescue until it’s too late There’s money to be made rebuilding This island under night skies a-blazing
Destruction and death Build back better, U.S.A. Casino waiting
The Country of the Blind. – Stanzas 1 and 4 by C.S. Lewis
Hard light bathed them and a whole nation of eyeless men dark bi-pedals, not aware of how they were maimed A long process, clearly a slow curse drained through centuries Left them thus
If a man, one that had eyes a poor misfit, spoke of the grey dawn, or the stars or green sloped sea waves Or admired how warm tints changed in a lady’s cheek None complained he had used words from an alien tongue None questioned. It was worse. All would agree “Of course.” Came their answer “We’ve all felt like that.” They were wrong.
……………… 1. What is Lewis saying? 2. Here he compares the poet to the masses who believe they have experienced the same feelings. Why does Lewis say they are wrong? Look at the first stanza. 3. What are your feelings in comparing the poem to society, today?
This has taken me a while to get to as I prefer to spend my time writing over analysing. Slowly I am starting to appreciate analysis though so as to better understand what a poet might be saying.
So, today I finally came back to this and interestingly I read this quote this morning which seems along similar lines:
That showed me in an instant that not by wisdom do poets write poetry, but by a sort of genius and inspiration; they are like diviners or soothsayers who also say many fine things, but do not understand the meaning of them.
– Socrates, The Apology
To attempt to answer the questions…. 2. Lewis says that they are wrong because society as a whole blindly accepts what it may be told. (Does this connect with the phrase ‘the one-eyed man is the king of the blind?). 3. In comparing the poem to society, I can see the parallels but as a poet, I prefer to consider myself with the man with eyes. But then, maybe individually, we all do that. And thus we end up with society. Individually thinking and believing different things and collectively believing the same things.
And I think that answers question 1.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good again. I forgot to write anything this morning as instead of spending the first six hours of the day at the cafe I decided to sit with my old class and help some of them with their work though I also took advantage of this time to make some future lessons.
Sitting in that class made me look at the kids a little differently. I could see that they were more attentive to the Thai teacher and understood more (obviously). They still struggled when it came to answering questions and their comprehension but it made me feel a little more sympathetic with them.
The work Kru NumNim has been giving them is from the British Council and I decided to take it and reuse it for my reading classes with them. I’m hoping that they at least remember some of it and can draw on their learning in this class when it comes to doing it again in mine.
At House, I sat, read and wrote as usual and now felt that 4 hours was an ok amount of time to spend doing that, instead of the six hours of the previous couple of weeks.
Today I’m grateful for:
All the folks who ensured that my records arrived safely from Hong Kong.
The best thing about today was:
Everything again. It was consistently good from morning alarm, exercise, breakfast and driving to school to getting home, sitting back and watching videos.
I’m also feeling a little relief at having fewer hours to teach tomorrow than before too as another two hours got passed on to another teacher.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The parcel of Bennu The Heron records arrived yesterday but I had to go and pick them up from the main post office and pay 700 baht tax on them which is just about the end of my money for the month.
Still, it was better than paying what Amy originally thought was 4000 baht. If it had been that much then I would have sent them back.
Something I learned today?
I found Yurin sitting by herself today and she looked up at me sadly and said ‘No friends’. I talked with her for a little while and she said that she was quarrelling with Dena and Earn though I’m not sure about what. I told her not to worry and maybe it will all blow over.
Later I caught up with Dena and she said that Yurin was always causing drama and everyone was sick of it. Actually, I’m not surprised at this as Yurin was always causing problems in the first semester of grade 7 when she was hanging out with Hyper, who eventually got taken out of school by her parents. Somewhere inside, Yurin has some conscience, though sadly, I don’t think the future holds much positive for her.
Praew told me that she won’t be in school tomorrow as she has to go to hospital and when I asked her why, she explained that she has to get new medicine for depression.
I asked her how she felt after taking the medicine and she said that she felt better but it also made her more anxious. I noticed before that she has shaky hands. She’s a bright and funny girl and I wouldn’t have guessed that she was taking medicine for depression.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I told Praew that she could talk to me anytime if she wanted.
For the last couple of days, I’ve been trying to encourage Baipad to do something kind for her friends. Yesterday she offered up that she lent her lip balm to her friend.
But then I asked her to do something intentionally kind today and she was stuck.
When I saw her in the morning she and all her friends were all just sitting playing games on their phones, with barely any interaction between them.
She told me that she will go to Chiang Mai tomorrow so I reminded her that she could buy a nice gift for a friend or something like that. Let’s see if she does!
I took this picture because Jin demanded it. Ueang and Jin, busy avoiding study.
Can you be persuaded away By the carrot on the stick? Caught in the thought of ice cream And eating until you’re sick – Surely you need a jumbo serve – To teach you what you deserve
Pretty good again. The morning has whizzed by thanks to all my students being incredibly well-behaved and attentive today. I’m a little surprised! I wish every day was like this. I actually felt like I was teaching rather than attending.
Today I’m grateful for:
The kids I asked not to come and disrupt my afternoon class today. I appreciated that though maybe my students didn’t understand so much but it got them more focused and we got enough done.
The best thing about today was:
Those early classes setting up the day for me so that I’m not so tired. I’m perhaps also getting used to this schedule too.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy suddenly changed plans this morning as she didn’t sleep well but it was nothing that caused any real problem or made me change my plans too much.
Something I learned today?
It’s a possibility that Chad Warner could be lured from Sydney Swans to Freo, as he is from the West Coast originally. He’s already touted as the best player in the competition. He’s only 22 or 23 years old. I hope he doesn’t leave though.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I sent encouraging messages to KanomBang and BB after they paid more attention in class and asked me for help.
I’ve also been sending Anchan encouragement every now and then. She went to a speaking competition last weekend and was disappointed to come ninth.
I found iPhone, Fahmai and another girl practising dancing and they told me that there will be a competition next week so I wished them luck and hope that I can see them.
