The swagger of the fisherman He’s dreaming big, nets full of fish An ocean filled with his thoughts Trawling towards his deepest wish
Eyes to the astronauts overhead What are they thinking as they fly? Break the big things down to the small Everyone, everywhere, just getting by
Inspired by a David Elikwu newsletter
Today I’m feeling:
Great. This is the first morning in a long, long time that I woke up without any aches! I have a little ache now after exercise but I am still quite amazed at feeling this good this morning.
(Later) The good feeling in my body persisted during the day, which made me pretty happy and motivated.
Health:
Physical: 8! Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Lucky bringing back snacks from his trip to Japan during the holiday and sharing them with all the teachers. Which reminds me, they’re still in my bag waiting to be eaten.
The best thing about today was:
The general, lazy feeling around school for most students who are not participating in the sports events. It’s relaxing but a little too relaxed. I can’t get my students into the flow of the semester and to knuckle down.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I still don’t have a new schedule yet, so I’m still down for 7 hours today, though thankfully, our classes are reduced to 50 minutes for the rest of this month, making things a bit easier. It’s always a little jarring transitioning in and out of this change and today I struggled a bit, either with getting things done in time, or erring the other way and not doing enough in the time. Luckily, it’s easy enough to jump onto some quiz sites and do a quick quiz, though.
Anyway, this afternoon I was due for the final three hours to be in building 8 but when I got there, the room was padlocked and only two students had arrived. I got a message saying that the other students were in a meeting for sports day but no indication of how long that would last. A few more students rolled up while I was contemplating whether to find another classroom or not. Of course, the students begged me for free time and eventually I agreed but on the condition that I would set them work to complete before our next class.
I went back to the teachers’ room and figured out a couple of tasks for them to do and in the process ended up making a whole bunch of other lessons that can be done at any time.
I also cancelled the last one-hour class of the day with my grade 12 English students. I know that they will be happy enough with that and doubted that they would attend anyway.
Something I learned today?
Potatoes have more chromosomes than humans — 48 compared to our 46.
I took these pictures of Program hard at work in my class today. I sent them to Kru Karn, his homeroom teacher, and we both laughed later when we remembered how we were saying that he is a little better behaved this semester.
A little tired and slow. The first full week is catching up with me now. I still feel fairly positive, though, thanks to my happy, playful students this morning.
My body feels pretty good after getting it moving and hung. I was a bit stiff when I woke up but exercise seemed to have loosened things up.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Tony at Suspect Device for arranging to get me sent a copy of Running At The Edge of Their World, the book about Suspect Device fanzine, which arrived today. Double amazing as I haven’t even paid for it yet!
The best thing about today was:
It’s consistency. No one thing in particular, but just a general great feeling throughout the day. Though I’m starting to feel that familiar Friday wind-down of exhaustion again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was happily sitting in the cafe when I got a message from my student, Palm asking me where I was.
As November is ‘sports day'(!), classes are cut from one hour to fifty minutes so that at the end of the day, students can practice their sports.
I made the incorrect assumption that it would start on Monday but instead discovered it started today!
I got to class and I only had an easy task for them anyway, which was on a preprinted worksheet, so no harm done.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I nearly lost my temper with my student Pang today as she gave me a lot of attitude but luckily I was able to step back in time and sit down with her to try and find what the real problem was, because I was sure it wasn’t me.
I told her that I was on her side and if she would let me in, then I could try and help her. I have given her this message before but she didn’t really take to it. Maybe it will this time. Maybe it won’t.
This morning, the kids were making fun of my hair and then Nicha took this picture after grabbing my phone out of my pocket. I guess from this angle (around Nicha’s height) I can understand why it looks so crazy.
How can you ever let me down? We’re not made to be broken Just like fools, we left so much unspoken Now the future is a past that’s come back around We were made to be broken How could you ever let me down?
Not bad once I got going, it was a struggle to get up this morning and my right shoulder was a little achy from using the new silica scrubs I ordered from Temu in the shower last night. For some reason, I had a sudden urge to clean.
Amy came with me this morning as she had some things to do in the city and she’ll pick me up again at 2.30 for my only day of the week to be able to get home a little early.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
My old students, Ploy and Ozone, playfully begging me to teach them again. I’m not sure exactly what brought this on for them but it made me feel good.
I wish I could teach everyone who begs to be taught!
The best thing about today was:
Listening to my grade 8s attempting to read a reasonably difficult passage of text and doing way better than I expected.
They are no longer afraid to try and to fail or get things wrong. Though some still need to be pushed to work because they are not really interested, I can see that they do have the capabilities if they so desired. Unfortunately, they are too busy with distractions most of the time.
Something I learned today?
Today I learned something that has left me a little stunned.
When Amy picked me up, she told me that she had gone to Nut’s house to have lunch with her and Bee, as Bee was visiting the psych at MFU.
Bee then told the whole story about her and George and it is fucking amazing!
Firstly, Bee moved out of their house about 3 years ago and they have been separate ever since! All this time, we have been saying that George was holding her back and that she was stupid to stay and she had actually already left.
This got me thinking about why she never said anything before and it turns out that George is still trying to influence her and to keep things secret from other people.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. We were all shocked to know that they were actually married! Neither of them had ever told any one of us so-called friends about this.
And why did she leave? She finally had enough of his vicious manipulation and control and had to get away from him. She said that he is totally self-absorbed and selfish. He has no friends and only cares about himself.
Well, those things I had figured out for myself and now I feel completely validated. He is indeed the dark empath, the smiling narcissist.
Bee said that he talks badly about everybody behind their backs. This is also a reminder for me to try and not to do the same thing but this one is going to be difficult, as I would love to put him in his place. I’d like to wipe that smirking smile off his face!
Interesting that Kru Mai said George no longer talks with him in the teachers’ room but that George has told others that it is Kru Mai who no longer talks to him!
My mind is blown by all these revelations and it makes me feel more confident in myself. All those times he tried to manipulate and control me, too and got upset when I refused to comply – it’s all making sense and falling into place.
I should never have doubted myself. I realise now that on quite a few occasions in my past, I have been a very good judge of character.
I learned a lot about myself today and that’s great!
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I bought an inspirational poster online and put it up in one of my classrooms today. I will refer to it at different times during my lessons.
I took this picture because today is Halloween and crazy little Winter wore this to school. He is fucking hilarious!
*What does it profit a man that he gains The whole world but loses his own soul?* Holding on to the fantasy never explains What happens when he reaches the goal
To the manor born where his shit don’t stink He’s forever drunk on the power *The honey is not as sweet as people think And the milk’s gone fucking sour*
The empire imagined now rank and rotten The cancer manifests within Like everything ever, it’s all soon forgotten Until the next man chooses to begin
Inspired by the two quotes* from Terence Trent D’Arby that I read in Charles Shaar Murray’s Shots From The Hip. I hated D’Arby’s music but it seems he wasn’t a bad guy.
Today I’m feeling:
Fairly reasonable and relaxed. I didn’t drink too much in the end last night, so I don’t have any hangover but I’m also not exactly full of energy either!
Amy is finally up and hopefully we can get some hearty breakfast and decent coffee and prepare for the drive home.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
My own smelly bed again. I love travelling, and I love my home.
The best thing about today was:
Driving back from Chiang Mai, I ate a CBD gummy and while I didn’t really notice any effects, I did really enjoy listening to music on my old iPod while Amy slept a lot of the way.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
After going to a few different bars last night, Nong May wanted to take Amy to a place called Warm Up. Amy was a little reticent as it was the place that she used to go to as a uni student more than 20 years ago, but Nong May said that it had changed a lot.
When we arrived, May’s friend Namfon met us and even though it was midnight on a Sunday, the place was heaving with people, both young and old.
I had had enough by now, though and didn’t feel like drinking anymore, so I left them to it and went back to the hotel. I knew it was going to be trouble when a full bottle of vodka appeared in front of us and Amy was already a few sheets to the wind.
I left the keycard with Amy and asked the hotel staff to give me another but then struggled a bit to get to sleep.
Sometime later, I woke with a start to two loud bangs at the door and there was Amy. Either the keycard didn’t work because there was already one in use in the room or she couldn’t find hers.
Amy stumbled around a bit, getting ready to get into bed but just as she was about to, she fell on the floor in the dark and I heard a thump on the bedside table. I jumped up, scared that she had hit her head on the corner of the table but thankfully, she hadn’t and I got her into bed and finally to sleep.
With all this drama, I was now awake again and checked to make sure Amy was still breathing. It took me a while to get back to sleep again at what must’ve now been about 4 am.
I woke up at 8.30 and when Amy stirred a little, she mumbled, ‘How did I get here?’ not remembering anything from a few hours earlier.
Something I learned today?
Last night, Amy met one of her students whom she taught twenty years ago and who is now a successful restaurateur. He was so happy to see her again and said that part of his success was because of her.
This kind of reaction is what I hope to inspire in my students and that in ten or fifteen years’ time they might say the same things to me.
It was especially poignant after yesterday’s birthday messages from my students, some of whom said I was the best teacher.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I took care of crazy, hungover Amy.
I took this picture in the lobby at the Mercure Hotel because it looked like an interesting design where I was sitting and its intricacies only revealed themselves when I got closer.
Last night I had to leave the temple early as I was very dizzy and a little out of it. Luckily, Amy could get home with Goy. I was early to bed and asleep by 10 pm and even in my dreams, I was feeling dizzy!
Thankfully, when I woke up, I was feeling ok and did some exercise and a dead hang. The dead hangs are really making a difference, I think.
So I felt good when I got to school and bumbled around with students and then did a little administration to help get myself prepared. I talked with Kru Mai about my assigned hours and he advised that six of the hours will be assigned by other teachers for the students to do online. But, he said, I have to be in the classroom! Which essentially means I’m still working those hours!
I couldn’t convince him to remove my one-hour classes, unfortunately. Things may still change, I guess, though.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Mai and Kru Tang for helping me today as we discussed my new timetable. I’m not sure what the outcome will be yet, but at least they know about it.
I’m also grateful to Art, who experimented by giving me a double shot coffee of a new blend that he is trying out and it was awesome! I’m just a little sad that I probably won’t have time to pick one up every morning once I start teaching again next week.
The best thing about today was:
The relaxed feeling around school again today. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood and it kept me chipper, too. I had fun with the kids as usual.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had to wait at school until the afternoon, as Amy was working out the best plan for us today, as we would attend the temple again today. It was fine for me as I can easily keep myself busy, whether being with the students or sitting in the cafe.
In the end, Amy decided that she would come with Goy to the city and come back with her tonight. I could just drop by the temple and give my best to Nong Oh and then come home and relax a little in the evening.
Something I learned today?
My grade 11 students let slip that some Thai teachers don’t like me because I talk with the students. I’m not sure exactly what they meant but it made me curious and interested.
After some follow-up to try and get some clarity, it seems that they don’t approve of my style and ability to communicate with the students. I think it’s a cultural difference, as the old school Thai teacher just gives information and expects the students to mimic it, to do as they are told and that the teacher is the absolute authority on everything. I’m not like that at all!
I took this picture because our orchids keep coming out at various times throughout the year. I’m happy that they have managed to do well since shoving them in the tree.
Good again, though I woke up during the night and can start to feel the rising anxiety (good anxiety) of returning to work and being in the classroom again. What with all the disruption from the flooding at the end of last semester, it seems like such a long time since shepherding my students towards enlightenment!
Today I’m grateful for:
All the free time that I have had to read, write and think. Particularly to work hard and focus on writing poetry.
I know that this free time is coming to an end and I will have to concentrate on getting things straight with all my lessons for the next few weeks.
I feel confident that I can do it again, just as I have done before.
The best thing about today was:
Stretching out my shoulders with a little bit of dead hanging. Today wasn’t filled with anything particularly exciting otherwise.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I succumbed to an afternoon nap again but felt pretty good as Amy put Tigger next to me and he settled down there, chatting away when I turned over.
I’m also feeling a little dizzy from the reduction in sertraline and also not taking Tramadol for two or three days. I don’t feel particularly bothered by it yet but will try and push through it.
I took this picture because the old boy was looking a little tired, unable to open his eyes in the sunlight this morning.
Quite good after falling dead asleep again last night before 10.30. I woke up sometime earlier this morning, though with Fleetwood Mac stuck in my head for some reason. It could be worse, I guess.
Did a little exercise again, noticing that the little that I did yesterday already had me aching in the legs. It will be good to get back to that good ache, though.
By the afternoon, I could barely walk up stairs! I had run out of energy and motivation and left my last class mostly to their own devices, which they were happy enough with too.
I stopped taking any Tramadol a couple of weeks ago, not for any particular reason, I just figured I’d have kratom and give the T’s a miss and see how I felt and as I didn’t have any withdrawal dizziness as I usually experience (I guess I did still have dizziness though it seemed different somehow) I just ended up not taking it.
That could be part of the reason that I’m not quite so focused in my thoughts and a little more scattered than usual. It could also be part of the low energy and motivation situation, too.
Anyway, as I’m feeling reasonably mentally stable, I’ll keep going for a while longer and see if things balance out.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
The sudden message to go and sign our financial documents means that we should get paid early next week. I’ve just about managed to make it through this month without having to ask for credit. This is the first time since November last year, after messing up my visa and having to pay a bunch of extra fees to fix it again.
The best thing about today was:
Getting some presentation lessons prepared during my first class, who were busy catching up with work for other classes (or sleeping) and I wasn’t particularly interested in teaching either.
The lessons are not especially exciting but they give the students more information to improve what they will present next semester. I plan for them to present often, so I don’t really have anything more to offer to teach them. Just get them practising.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
As I technically had classes for most of the day, I figured that I would spend a bit of time at the school when I had a chance but when I went there at around 11.30, they told me that they had no milk for my coffee!
Well, decision made – back to 22 Grams. I can’t make it my regular spot as it’s a little too far from school and I am really missing House. I hope Gui gets it together to clean up and open again for next semester!
Something I learned today?
Yesterday, when I was talking with Noah and Poppy, Stang also came up to listen in and he asked me if any of the teachers were my friends.
Er…yes, I said…though thinking to myself, well, not really. I mean, I’m fine with everyone but I wouldn’t call any of the teachers my friends.
Stang then asked why I don’t hang out with the teachers and as I was thinking about it, he added, ‘you like kids?’ to which the girls were shocked and laughed too.
I was thinking how to answer them and agreed that I actually prefer hanging out with the students because, for me, we are on the same level. I told them that I didn’t like the Thai style of the teacher being above and the student below and that they must defer all the time. They agreed and hate it too. They know it’s not right.
Also, as an aside to this, I know Stang had an ulterior motive in asking about this, as he pushes the boundaries to see how close he can get to me physically. I’ve felt this since I first met him in grade 7, and he is obviously trying to figure himself out and how to approach boys that he likes.
I’m happy that he feels comfortable trying that with me and it hasn’t gone too far. I’m not sure how he fits in with his classmates. He’s openly expressed his homosexuality but never heard any of his classmates discuss it in particular. He is a big kid too; not fat but tall and chunky.
As ever, it is fascinating to watch all these kids grow and mature.
In his class in the afternoon, I happened to wander in and Namkhing was sitting in a corner and I was struck by how suddenly her face had changed to be that of a young woman, whereas only seemingly last week she still looked like a cherubic schoolgirl.
Amy (on the left) took this picture because we were all waiting around to go into classrooms and she stole my camera from my pocket and started snapping away. Amy, me, Chompoo, Stang.
The Bomb-happy boys enjoy Another day of telling me who to hate A dollar for each member of the population To turn them against their state
Every accusation a clear admission Of practices tested, tried and true Never let the facts stand in the way If you understand what’s good for you
The collapse is soon arriving As it has been for decades already A stopped clock is right twice a day So let’s keep the message steady
Achievements must be suppressed With the suffix ‘but at what cost?’ Assistance labelled as a debt-trap Is just an advantage that was lost
When a people claim they are happy It must said that they have no choice But if one chooses not to listen What purpose is your own voice?
As red lines keep being crossed And its no longer seen just as a game The pretense must be maintained So that it’s understood who to blame
So the plan is to keep those people poor A useless tactic, pitiful and sad And to push them towards a war To remind you all that China is bad
A 1.6 billion US dollar budget for anti-China propaganda – is that a dollar for every Chinese person? The Western world seems to be the most propagandised people on Earth. Don’t believe anything you read. Believe what you have seen – and then only trust half of that too. China is not the enemy. 4th Dec 2024 – Shared with Ragtag Daily Prompt – collapse
Today I’m feeling:
Well slept this morning as I got a good, solid eight-hour sleep in which I hardly moved throughout the night. I don’t know why I was so energy-deprived yesterday.
I had set my alarm a little earlier to do a little exercise this morning, which I duly did, without pushing myself too hard. I have put on a couple of kilos since getting sick and skipping exercise for the past couple of months. On the upside of that, my shoulders have stopped aching, though. Still looking for balance.
(Later) I’m feeling a bit weird again. A little dizzy and unsteady, as if I’m really hungry. I snacked on some cookies and another coffee, noticing that my hand was trembling a little bit. I seem to be going through all the feelings from good to bad in just a single day!
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Nong Praew, who told me again that she will move schools after this semester finishes next week.
As part of our class today, I got the kids to do a gratitude exercise. I called up a few students to ask them to tell me something that they are grateful for today.
It was interesting to watch them thinking of answers and that they could probably answer in Thai easily enough but I pushed each of them to try their best.
Praew can’t express herself much at all in English, though, so I let her use her phone to translate and she wrote me a nice message thanking me for loving her and taking care of her in class when she struggled so much.
I wished her the best of luck in her new school and hope that she can overcome her difficulties.
The best thing about today was:
Chatting with Poppy and Noah about all sorts of things, getting a little deeper than usual. I think that they appreciated the help that I gave them with their play earlier this semester.
It has been nice to watch them (and the others in their class) mature over the past three years.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I just discovered by chance this morning that we are supposed to be teaching our classes as normal again. I guess I missed a message somewhere.
However, it is only for the juniors, whom I teach in the afternoons. So I have to wait around all day just for them.
Never mind, though, the semester will be over at the end of next week.
(Later) As it turned out, even my seniors wanted me to come to class, so I dashed back to see them but when I got there, they weren’t interested in study (and I wasn’t motivated to teach anything either).
I sat with them for a while before going off around school to chat with whoever I came across.
Pretty good on waking again and all was good at school until I was just about to head off in search of coffee. A huge downpour soon flooded all the paths and the roads, already chockers with cars dropping off kids.
The rain didn’t stop for a good 40 minutes or so and I wondered whether to just head to 22 Grams or bother looking for another cafe.
I opted to keep looking and thankfully, at Couple Cups (recommended by Art at Utopia) there was a parking spot right outside. Even so, I got saturated just getting to the front door!
I’ve been here for almost 4 hours, mostly reading and my eyes are getting blurry and dusty. I’m not feeling too bad, though.
Off home to pick up Tigger and take him to the vet for his follow-up check from last week, He seems all well and good now.
I talked to the kids in my one class that I have this afternoon and they said that they would prefer not to have any work set! Uh-huh!?
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 6
Today I’m grateful for:
My first interactions on Instagram after putting up some poetry there, even though I’m sure that they are just promotional accounts looking for business.
I was also grateful to get an unexpected refund from Shopee for some trousers I had paid for and forgotten all about. I ordered a shirt and some multivitamins and still had a little left to spare.
I’m feeling a little more secure financially this month so that when Amy just came and showed me a picture of two ginger kittens, I immediately said yes, let’s get them!
The best thing about today was:
Doing something different for food today. Even though it wasn’t wow, it was nice to have a change of routine.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m running out of energy again after getting home at lunchtime and coming back to the city with Tigger. I feel like I need to eat.
Amy suggested dropping Tigger off at home and going off for pizza as soon as we can. Sounds like a plan.
(Later) We did that and I ate a lot! When we got back home, I closed my eyes whilst listening to videos of talk about the grand final this weekend.
But no rest as we were soon off to visit Khaotang to help her with her school assignment.
Whilst we were there, though, a Grab rider got knocked off his motorcycle by a truck that sped off and the guy didn’t look in good shape.
I stayed inside, trying to concentrate and told KT that she shouldn’t go to look either.
By the time all the ambulances and other vehicles had cleaned up, I’d finished putting together the text for her to read and understand.
She has some problem with this Thai teacher because he gave her grade 1 when their foreign English teacher gave her grade 4. My guess is that her English is actually better than the Thai teacher’s!
Something I learned today?
Chiang Mai is starting to flood now! Nong May has just arrived and Amy’s old flatmate will be coming next month and we were planning to go and meet everyone.
Wouldn’t it be great to be the least worst And given pontificated names Promoted due to the complete lack of options The last man standing remains
Qualified without merit or skills Is it possible to win the hearts and minds Of those who pay your bills When the sun from your backside blinds?
Today I’m feeling:
Tired. Apparently, I slept before 10 pm last night and then woke up again this morning just before 9 am.
If being so tired is connected with kratom then it’s an easy fix but if it is related to exercise that will be a bit annoying as I need to keep up my energy levels and keep off the fat.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
It not raining this morning, even though I had tempted fate by riding the bike to Utopia.
The best thing about today was:
Getting into a flow state again, like yesterday. I did a fair bit of catching up with reading poetry but only managed to write one fairly average one myself.
After that, though, I got stuck back into writing more lessons and found that time really enjoyable. I imagine myself in the classroom and how some students will react and be inspired or provoked into doing some work.
It doesn’t often end up that way and I realise that I have to tweak things as I go but it all helps fill me with confidence. I think that is half the trick of being a teacher. Faking confidence!
Something I learned today?
I found that I can listen to the AFL games live on my phone. I was checking in on the Port/Hawks game this evening and though it’s not as good as watching, it is a little better than only getting the 15-minute mini-match highlights.
Port got through by the skin of their teeth and were running tired by the end, which is good news as we will play them next week in Sydney.
Despite getting slaughtered by them 6 or 7 weeks ago, I think we have a good chance of making it through to the grand final again this year. Playing the Hawks would’ve been a tougher prospect.
1994ever 