Tag: cats

Always Going Home – 30th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Outside, the sheds, rotting,
With stores of coal
And wood for the winters

Stray cats brought their kittens
to the secret stash of beers
Stolen to curious teenage lips

The washing hangs from the kitchen ceiling
Dried damp infused with boiled pork
At least the rain can’t get in

There are Proustian moments
of potpourri,
The lotions on the bathroom shelf

Creaking stairs and creaking doors
You’ve been here for hundreds of years
Standing as a home

That scary sloping floor
Will it one day fall on those
grandparents sleeping below?

In my pit
Corners of dirt, carpets of dust
How many skins I shed there?

The icy windows stuck shut
I settle under covers thick with
this year’s sweat

My love of the comfort of your walls,
crumbling as they were,
Left when I did

Submitted to dVerse – Buildings

Today I’m feeling:

More reasonable today though still not breathing properly and have itchy tired eyes.

I slept for almost 12 hours though it wasn’t all good sleep but I was happy to at least have the opportunity anyway.  Getting up late meant that the day disappeared fairly quickly.

After coffee, I came back and watched some videos before a delicious experimental lunch that Amy made of roasted vegetable lasagna but instead of lasagna sheets using soft tortillas instead.

Then some more 3 Body Problem, more videos (I didn’t move much today!) then I made it to my room to play guitar but I wasn’t quite in the mood but still managed about 25 minutes.  My room is super hot in the afternoons now and I need to go there and play guitar in the mornings when my brain feels more alert!

I’m also reminded that I need to get back to my Thaipod101 lessons now that I have some free time again.

And also I want to do some study around active listening.  I figure that after 56 years on earth, I might actually start listening to what other people have to say!  Of course, I may find out the opposite too.

Today I’m grateful for:

The cowman from a couple of doors down.

This evening I was about to go out and close the gate and noticed something black on the grass.  On closer inspection, it was cow shit!  When did that get there!  We were out in the garden in the afternoon and it wasn’t there then.

I grabbed a torch and walked around the garden just to check that whatever visitors we had had gone before going to close the gate.  When I got to the gate it was already shut.  I figured that a cow must’ve come in and the cowman found it, chased it back out and closed the gate behind him.

The mystery was soon confirmed by our CCTV system – a mum and calf with the cowman chasing them out!

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s lunch and then in the evening, Amy’s delicious peach crumble with chocolate ice cream.  What a lucky guy I am.  Or was I just smart enough to pick the best person for me to marry?

Something I learned today?

Last year in the world happiness index, China was number 1, followed by Saudi Arabia and then the Netherlands.  In this year’s report neither China nor Saudi Arabia were in the top 30.  That’s strange!  It turns out that even though their data was collected it wasn’t used in the final report meaning a white Western nation (The Netherlands) is the happiest in the world.  At least, if you cherry-pick the data to your agenda.

Also, whilst watching the Netflix 3 Body Problem it seemed fairly obvious to me that the ‘China Bad’ narrative was highlighted intentionally.  It followed the book in that it was a Chinese woman who made contact with the aliens but as the rest of the series wasn’t set in China, as most of the book was, it bluntly exposes Western audiences to a message of ’look what the terrible Chinese did.’  Sigh.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent more messages out to students about their holidays. Checking in with them.

Paen sent me another message out of the blue talking about ending her life again.  I wrote back quickly but still haven’t had an answer.  I just sent her another encouraging message. I hope she’s ok.

I took this picture when closing the gate a couple of nights ago. Is this a blood moon or air pollution?

Faux Concern – 19th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Who determines the state of us turtles?
Is it those that pump poison into my home?
As if there is not enough for us to deal with
Better you didn’t exist and left us all alone

Submitted to Monday Poetry Prompt – determine, state, turtle

Today I’m feeling:

A little better.  I started to feel almost ok after eating some dinner last night. I wasn’t really hungry but ate anyway and glad that I did.  I struggled with sleep again last night but don’t feel too tired yet; I know that I really need to push through today and not take a nap so that I can enjoy a good sleep tonight.  Right now – 8 am – I feel like I have the start of a cold or flu again, much like I did last week.  So despite feeling better than I did on Saturday, I’m still on the edge.

Today I’m grateful for:

The hospital being close by and able to see Amy for whatever allergy is bothering her skin at 9 pm. Hopefully, it’s nothing serious but best for her to get checked as she has had attacks from allergies before.

The best thing about today was:

Playing lots of guitar although much of it was frustrating as I haven’t played much this week and I can notice the struggle I am having to get my coordination working again.

Something I learned today?

I learned what a cherita is in poetry. I will give this a go sometime.  I’m currently thinking about a cascading poem using a nomeansno lyric as a starting point.

Cherita (pronounced CHAIR-rita) is a linked poetry form of one-, two- and three-line stanzas.

Cherita is the Malay word for “story” or “tale”.

A cherita consists of a one-line stanza, followed by a two-line stanza, and then finishing with a three-line stanza.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I talked a little bit with my student Earn again and gave her some more encouragement as she figures out who she is and where she is going in her life.  As usual, it’s wonderful to watch these kids grow and mature.

How do I practice self-care on a busy day?

My days are mostly made busy by self-care!  Over the last few years, I have been bringing self-care to the forefront of my mind and I no longer mean this in a selfish way (as I might have done in the past).

My days are generally not that busy so the remaining time is taken up with self-care in the form of reading, writing, relaxation and thinking.  On a busy day, the actions are the same.  Each space must be filled with thought that ensures care for one’s self (along with everyone around).

I took this picture because the school cat Garfield was waiting for cuddles and rubs this morning.

With Art and Word – 6th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

With revolutionary thinking
We will knock down the wall
Of the Kool-Aid drinking
Prisoners in it’s thrall

Rise up from your slumber
Take up your arms
You are many in number
Hearing the alarms

Battle with art and word
Against the unfairness absurd

Submitted to dVerse – Slumber
7th May 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty positive though my shoulder is giving me some gip.  Something isn’t right in there and I can’t stretch or roll it out.  I’ve done very little arm exercising for the last couple of months and may just try and push through the pain to get back to it.

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy and everything she does to make our house a home. I don’t want to take her for granted.

The best thing about today was:

My grade 10s not turning up for class allowing me time to organise another classes’ worksheets, staple them together and gift them back to the students. I felt good doing that, even if they just throw their work away. At least I made the effort to present their work back to them at the end of the semester.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I lost my cool with Amy when she got overexuberant whilst drunk. She was in a good mood and playful but I was tired and eating and when I didn’t know what she was doing as she tried to put her fingers in my mouth I pushed her arm away. Unfortunately that then set her off and blew up into a fight. Now we are both in a bad mood.

I will try to make her feel better but also just feel like going to bed and sleeping already. I don’t have much patience for drunken antics these days, I’m old and tired when it comes to that. It doesn’t fill me with excitement anymore.

Something I learned today?

2024 marks a special year for cicadas in the USA. It is the first time since 1803 that two specific broods of cicadas (one that emerges every 13 years, and one that emerges every 17) should be emerging together. This co-emergence won’t happen again for another 221 years.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

My vile deed was pushing Amy’s arm away and initiating a tiff. I should have been (even) more patient or be more assertive in a different manner.

I bought some cream chup-a-chups to give to my grade 9 students for their graduation ceremony tomorrow.

I took this picture because I got home to melting cats (again!)

Little Miss Imperfect – 16th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

It was a missing tooth
Some wayward hair
A smudge of a nose
That almost wasn’t there

It was a crooked smile
Dry cracked lips
An inch too much
Sitting on her hips

It was a minor lisp
One leg longer
A scarred wrist
Now grown stronger

No, she’s not perfect
As far as all could see
But it’s all those little faults
That has attracted me

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good.  I did some chest and arm exercises this morning, trying to avoid straining my shoulder and also hanging for a minute to stretch myself out.  Had my first cold morning shower of the year, which was a bit of a challenge but sure woke me up properly.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Ploy for saying that she wishes I was still her teacher because she enjoys writing in English the most, which is something I like to have the students practice.  And then have them read from what they’ve written.

The best thing about today was:

The winding down and relaxing feeling of the end of the semester.  

I was trying to put myself in my student’s shoes about how they must feel each day, being amongst their friends at school all day and then going home to their families each evening.  They obviously enjoy being at school and being with their friends but suffer the having to study part of that.  

I was trying to remember what it was like for me at their age.  Usually, I was excited to get out of school because when I got home I was usually out again after eating dinner and having even more fun with my friends.  

The situation here feels different both because of the family set-up in many homes and the availability of mobile phones and internet.  It makes for an experience that I only understand as an adult, not as a growing child.

Something I learned today?

“OpenAI’s latest model takes text prompts and turns them into ‘complex scenes with multiple characters, specific types of motion,’ and more, the company said.

The text-to-video model allows users to create photorealistic videos up to a minute long – all based on prompts they’ve written.”

As AI improves, and it seems to be doing so quickly, this could go either way.   Folks could create and post anything that conforms to their narratives.  

For example, the BBC could post footage of concentration camps in Xinjiang, where they keep insisting they exist.  People could easily believe it, especially when it is reinforced with pictures and videos.  

However, I also want to look on the positive side that due to this new capability journalists will be forced to detail, verify, check and double-check and be held legally accountable for what they publish.  It’s optimistic but that is the way it must go.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

At the morning flag ceremony KanomBang was crying heavily as her beloved dog had died.  She was inconsolable so I just put my arm around her and gently patted her arm.  Other students were still laughing and playing and I’m not sure what they were saying but Nomsen gave her some sympathy and support too.  She was ok by the afternoon and showed me a picture of her dog and told me it had been hit by a motorbike which is a common occurrence here unfortunately.

I called and messaged Khaofang as her jumper was in the classroom where she lost it the day before yesterday.  When she came to collect it she was very appreciative.

What was peaceful about today?

It’s difficult to find peace when you are surrounded by thousands of students. So perhaps the first hour of the day, having just woken up and quietly brushing my teeth before going to exercise, feeding the cats and then hopping into the shower, all the while the sky slowly lightening into the morning bloom.  Then I eat some breakfast whilst reading a little and the sun finally appears over the mountains and it’s time for the peace to end.

At the end of the day, post-shower and into bed.  Amy on her side, me on mine and Cap swapping between us, Amy quietly scrolls through Facebook and I read books and comics until we both give in to the joy of sleep.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  18. Give Without Expecting Something in Return. Don’t keep score. You will become a bitter person if you do that. Give solely for the joy of giving. If you get something in return, great, if you don’t, great.

I may not give out too much but I expect and want little from anyone else.  

Over the last few years, I have started giving out gifts as random acts of kindness and my only hope would be that the receiver will pass on the kindness to someone else.  

Whether they do or not is out of my control.

What was my Ween discovery timeline?

I had read about Ween often in Flipside and was curious when their first album God Ween Satan came out so I picked up a copy.  It started off well and punky with You Fucked Up but I was unprepared for everything else that came on the rest of the album.  Slowly it worked its wackiness on me and I enjoyed its eclecticism over time.  

So when the second LP, The Pod,  came out I was looking for more of the same and it didn’t deliver for me.  This seemed like weird droning moaning music and so I gave up on them, even selling both discs.

I occasionally heard them on the radio when I was living in Australia with their ‘hit’s Push The Little Daisies and Voodoo Lady but didn’t think on much further about them.

Around 2010 sometime, my friend in Melbourne, James McGauren had met and fallen in love with a Swedish girl and was making the move there and he decided to sell off a big chunk of his music collection.  He had all the Ween albums.  

Fuck it, I thought, I’ll give these guys a go again and picked up the whole catalogue for cheap.  Slowly I worked my way through each album and fell in love with them all.  I scoured the internet to find quality live shows and all their demo recordings and ended up with about 50 discs worth of Ween to enjoy.

Listening back to The Pod these days, I can understand why I didn’t enjoy it at the time but now I rate it as a favourite.  

I never saw them live but have their live DVD and whilst I appreciate their entertainment abilities I prefer the quirkiness of their records.

I took this picture because this old man was looking relaxed when I got home.
Fatman report

Don’t Talk To Strangers – 11th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t talk to strangers
You don’t know what they’re thinking
Closely guard your drink
Someone will spike what you’re drinking

Don’t make eye contact
That’s the starting of a fight
An applecart upset
Will see the end of your night

Don’t accept candies
From men in fantastic cars
Never trust a girl
That spends her time in bars

Beware the bogie man
There’s darkness everywhere you look
Don’t talk to strangers
Until you’ve read every self-help book

Inspired and loosely based on part of this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

I’m feeling weird and fuzzy again. I think maybe I have some Covid variation again. I got up at a reasonable time which was a bit difficult as Amy was still up and singing along to her favourite songs well past 1 am. 

At 11 am though I slept again until 3 pm. Now I just feel like I have a stiff neck, blocked nose and little appetite despite knowing I’m hungry. I’m keen for more sleep and not excited about being back at work again tomorrow.

Today I’m grateful for:

Medicine, sleep and Sundays.

The best thing about today was:

Playing a little guitar and looking over old emails for information.  I’ve done very little today and my brain is on strike.  Despite this I was glad to do these little things.

Something I learned today?

Polluted air is mainly breathed indoors.  We spend between 80 and 90 percent of our time indoors. Outdoor air pollutants find their way indoors and become trapped when there is no proper ventilation.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I complimented Noey on her shirt today as it was cute.  She asked if I thought that she was cute and I said ‘No, just the shirt.’  She knows she’s cute, so she went off laughing.

I took this picture because P’ti was feeling very Sunday morning.

Beyond The Threshold – 6th February 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Won’t you let me in?
Open heart, open door
A warm welcoming

Wanting little more
Than a hand to hold here
As we cross the floor

Overcome our fear
Let’s go through together
Our intentions clear

In silk and feather
We find ourselves humming
A friend forever

Won’t you let me….

Fake Flamenco: Thursday Doors

Today I’m feeling:

Like I haven’t slept enough. I could easily curl up and snooze for a bit but hopefully, this coffee will kick-start the morning.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having things to read while sitting around doing nothing at school this afternoon whilst the Thai teachers were keeping the kids occupied.  After an hour and a half though I snuck out and didn’t bother signing out either.  Hopefully, that doesn’t come back to bite me but Scout week is one of those frustrating wastes of time for us foreign teachers.

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s dinner of fried rice with fish sausage, crunchy cabbage, carrot and topped off with a perfectly fried egg.  Since I started just eating breakfast and skipping lunch I’ve been able to easily adapt to eating rice almost every day at dinner time.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Despite having to show groups of 8-10-year-olds over and over again how to tie knots this morning and itching to get out for more coffee it wasn’t actually too bad.  David and I had fun with the kids, some of whom were hilarious. 

It was interesting to notice how much better their English is than the kids we actually teach who are up to 5 years older.  We finished up at around 11.30 and I was happy to get away by then.

Something I learned today?

From Stephen Fry’s SubStack he talked about how in a group of twenty people, for example, there will be a leader, a clown, a know-it-all, a shy one, a complainer, a rebel etc and then if you take all the leaders and put them into a group, all the rebels into a group and so on, within each group they will soon revert back to having a leader, a clown, a know-it-all etc

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

In the morning I met Waiz’s younger sister who always runs up to me for a fist bump.  I had just been given a scout scarf and asked her to ‘do it’ for me because I wasn’t sure how.  She then folded it up and put it on me as she had been taught to do.  It didn’t look great but I kept wearing it because she had done it for me.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO –  12. Money Isn’t Important. It really isn’t. But you have to train yourself not to care about money. Don’t become too dependent on the stuff you own; otherwise, the stuff will own you.

Money is important when you want to do things.  As I’ve aged I’m starting to want to do less. 

As I write that I question myself whether that is true or not.  Sure some things have dropped off but I still have stacks of music that I haven’t properly listened to yet.  Years and years worth of books and comics that I wish to read. 

So perhaps I should say that I refined some of the things that I want to do.  I want to read more than travel but hell, I’d still like to travel.  I guess I’m taking the easier path more often these days.  But I also see doing less as more suitable to my age. 

Damn, I’m conflicted with this because I’m always imploring people to do something, to do more!  The dichotomy of life in Thailand is rubbing off on me!

I took this picture because our two boys often spend the afternoons dozing in the boxes on their cat castles, often swapping places depending on who gets there first.

No Left Feet – 31st January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

Don’t ask me to dance
I’ll step on your toes
Elbow your stomach
Watch out for your nose

My rhythm is off
I seem to be shaking
It’s a herky-jerky
I seem to be making

Don’t stare and laugh
Give me half a chance
I’m plenty good at other things
But never at this dance

Submitted to dVerse – dance

Today I’m feeling:

A little vague and blurry but positive.  I feel like I could easily sleep if given the opportunity. 

Despite being tired and hungry when I got home last night and then only a little to satisfy myself I found that I was still reading comics at 11.30 and then it took me a fair while to actually go to sleep. 

The morning alarm was a bit of a shock and for a brief moment, I contemplated snoozing it but made it up instead.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finally being able to crack the last part of the song that I was struggling to complete on guitar.

The best thing about today was:

My small grade 10 class again today who were a pleasure to teach and just talk with in general as the topic was about relationships.  My lesson was more focused on romantic relationships but many of the points cross over to any kind of relationship. 

As the English level of most of the class is quite poor I depended on the two good speakers to help translate some points and I could see that they were all able to understand to one degree or another.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got a message today from Nancy about not signing out when leaving school, which I haven’t done for about 2 years now.  She said ‘they’ would reduce my wages.  If they reduce my wages anymore I’ll have to start paying them to work!  She asked me to message Kru Tang, which I did and she asked me to sign out and I said that I would.  She didn’t mention anything about reducing wages though.  Let’s see what happens next month.

Something I learned today?

Last year the USA beat all previous records for sales of weapons to the rest of the world.  When is the rest of the world going to wake up to the fact that the USA wants more war to make more money?

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I was pleased to see a couple of my usually lazy students pushing themselves a little more today so I made sure to praise them with personal messages this evening.

I took these pictures, as I mentioned last week because Cap was sitting here but decided to get up as soon as I got down to take a picture of him, so I took this series as he walked towards me.

Just Dirt – 28th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Here the farmer stood
Surveying all his fields
Knowing the earth was good
Increasing next year’s yields

Yet, the prince, he scoffed
“Nothing here is growing”
The farmer turned and coughed
Satisfied and knowing

23rd Jun 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more lively than yesterday though I still fancy an afternoon nap. I’ve been the driver for the family today, to Chiang Saen, Mae Sai and Mae Chan.

Today I’m grateful for:

The candy seller at the market, where I found the candies that the stall has outside school and obviously at a better price.  Whilst I picked out a few different bags she offered various others to try and taste.  I was lucky that Amy found the noodles and mala sauce she wanted in this shop too so I snuck all my stuff in there for her to pay.

The best thing about today was:

Driving around, which made me think that I haven’t been up around the Chiang Saen, Chiang Khong area yet (on the motorbike) and it would be good for a nice laid-back ride sometime.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Whilst I was in my room playing guitar I was surprised to hear the sound of rain on the roof.  I didn’t think too much of it though it was kind of unusual to have rain at this time of day, this time of year.  But then I heard banging and the shade outside my window had fallen down and was now slamming against the wall.  The rain had gotten heavier and suddenly the wind had picked up.  Next came rumbles of thunder and everything got stronger.  I went outside and Amy screamed as the roof on the entertainment area started banging again where it was broken in the summer storms last year.  I ran to the garage and emptied the wheelbarrow already full of water from the leaking drain and found a bucket to put in the shed to catch the leaking in there too, though both of these were relatively useless in rain this heavy.

Something I learned today?

Amy has been watching these YouTube videos of two Korean boys travelling around Thailand and today I saw some pretty nice places in Isaan that they were visiting.  It would be good to go there one day though I feel a lot of places in Thailand look the same everywhere.  Jungles, rice fields, mountains, rivers and beaches.  I’m still quite smitten with it all though.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Driving the family around wherever they directed me and even though sometimes they confused me with their directions, I carried on without complaint.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 7. Be Grateful. Say thank you to everyone and everything “Thank you for this beautiful day.” “Thank you for your email.” “Thank you for being there for me.”

The longer I keep practising being grateful the more I’ve realised there is to be grateful for.  Sometimes I struggle to find something new to be grateful for, especially if I haven’t been doing much but I usually come up with something.  I’m not sure how many years I’ve been doing it now but I think I started sometime in 2020 and managed to do it pretty much every day since.

I’ve mentioned in the past that Thai people don’t often say thank you in a shopping situation and it’s quite a cultural norm.  I can’t help myself though, it’s just ingrained since childhood to say please and thank you.

I took this picture because these kitties, along with two more inside, were surveying the surrounds from this second-floor vantage point as I pulled up at Utopia this morning. 

Lesson In Peace – 24th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The art of war is a lesson in peace
The politics of life to make the violence cease
The finest swords will all eventually rust
To build a legion is to gain their trust

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and positive though I have a nagging tiredness throughout my body.  This could possibly be from pushing myself too much with exercise but the benefits of it outweigh this.  Some of the things going on in the family are getting me down a little.  This is connected with cultural differences but it’s hard not to judge a situation when something is so clearly unfair.  No details to share here as yet.  Perhaps if and when the situation resolves or is in the past.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding the candy lady outside of school.  Miyor and KhaoFang were walking around the park after classes and I bumped into them and they offered me a bag of candy of a type that I’d never seen before.  I took one and it was tasty so I asked where they got them and they pointed to one of the stalls so I went to investigate and there was a cornucopia there!  It was also a pick and mix so I picked out a couple of each to try the range.  I didn’t eat any yet – I’m saving them for the weekend. 

I was laughing to myself today about it because it feels just like when I was at school as a teenager.  I always skipped lunch, saving my money to buy records instead.  Then I would scrounge pennies off friends and buy candy from the van that pulled up in the playground every lunchtime.

The best thing about today was:

Getting my work permit so quickly sorted that I had time to grab another coffee before my class started.  I guess it doesn’t take long when you’re handing over 6,000 baht.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After making copies of my work permit I headed over to the office.  It was only while I was there that I discovered that I have to fill out the visa application and pay another 2,000 baht for the visa when I take it to immigration next week.  I thought that whole process was already done when I was at immigration at the end of last year but it seems that I was just on a bridging visa.  Amy was not impressed to hear this, especially as I don’t even have 2,000 baht left this month.

Something I learned today?

This evening I found out that the 6,000 baht will get refunded next month.  Woohoo!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sat and helped a couple of students again, taking the time to work with them and encourage them.

Every morning now, when I arrive at school, I join Baipad, Jan and Apple and talk with them for a few minutes.  Sometimes it’s a struggle to get them to look away from their phones but slowly they are opening up and chatting a little bit.  I can especially feel that Apple is more relaxed now to speak English.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 4. Don’t Start A Relationship If You’re Not in Love. I’ve done this more than once. You kind of like someone and think: “We might as well give it a shot.” Not a good idea. You’re either in love, or you are not. Don’t fool yourself. It’s not fair to you and the other person.

The difficulty with this is when growing up and learning about love.  Our societies don’t emotionally prepare us as children for the consequences of love.  It’s quite noticeable here in Chiang Rai, Thailand that a fair percentage of teenagers are not so much into the idea of romantic relationships yet.  They might have urges and desires but many are still learning about how to make good friendships amongst themselves.  I used to think that this was somewhat of a downside to the kid’s development and that they were growing up too slowly but now I see it as a benefit.  In the West we are not aware of all the privileges that we have just by circumstance, to be able to grow up so quickly, whether mature or not.

In my own experience, I thought I was in love many times as a teenager but I was just in love with the idea of love, without knowing what it really was.  My first relationships were rough on my partners as I had no clue how to treat them, having been told through society that chocolates and flowers could fix anything.  It wasn’t until my mid-20s, meeting Bronwyn that I first felt what I consider to be true love.  And then even that was not enough to keep us together.

It’s way too easy to say ‘Don’t fool yourself.’  We fool ourselves all the time without knowing.  We do have to go through the process – love, lose and learn.  Not many people get things right the first time.

Now I try to teach my students to guard themselves somewhat, to protect themselves from the huge emotional twists and turns of young love.  When they break up, to encourage them not to dwell on something that wasn’t meant to be.  To stop feeling like it is the end of the world.  But I know, it feels just like that and words are sometimes little comfort.

I took this picture because this is an unusual sight, to find both our cats sitting on the same mat like this.

Leashed – 21st January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Obedient to a master
Every day I’m called good
Is it a lie, a deception?
How am I to be, how I should?
Dance and beg for treats
But I got to the eats

I will not strike out
I will not forge my own way
Rolling over or playing dead
I will stay
All this time doing well
Makes no reason to rebel

inspired by this cartoon at Existential Comics

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good though it was a struggle to get up as I had enjoyed a couple of drops of cannabutter last night that knocked me right out.

Today I’m grateful for:

Go Nuts chocolate bars.  They are kinda like Snickers but cheaper as they are manufactured in Thailand (I guess).  They are smaller than a Snickers bar so I usually end up eating two at a time but even then they are cheaper.  I still like a little something sweet after a meal, kinda just finishes it off for me.

The best thing about today was:

Spending a couple of hours in my room listening to new music and finding new songs to try and play on guitar.  I also enjoyed being in the garden watering all our plants.

Something I learned today?

I saw a message posted to our department messaging group that there is something going on in the morning tomorrow which maybe means a change to our classes.  I’m hoping to arrive at school tomorrow to find out my class is cancelled! It’s no big deal if it’s not but a bonus if it is!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I shampooed Tigger again just before lunch and he put up a little more of a fight this time but I managed to get it done without any scratches, thankfully.

As mentioned above, I watered the garden whilst Amy was enjoying watching a TV show and after that, I came in and fed the cats.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
1. Struggle Is Good. Never say “I can’t take it anymore.” Say “Bring it on!”

This has taken me a long while to realise and embrace, although looking back I can see that I did this often. 

I have a capability to endure certain things that others might not. Conversely, I’m sure others are capable of enduring things I cannot. It is the attitude towards this struggle that I embrace more now so that I might look forward to the difficult tasks. 

I tend to visualise and actualise the feeling of having completed something and being able to relax, satisfied that I had done something.

When I was a teenager, so long as it was something I was interested in, I could start big, wild projects that could occupy my time and mind. These things didn’t feel like a struggle. Without realizing it I soon discovered that it wasn’t always the satisfaction of finishing something that made me feel good but just the doing of it. Over time this meant that I could take on tasks that were less interesting to me because I would just enjoy the doing, the struggle of them.

When I ask my students to write out a few paragraphs of text I enjoy taking note of those who complain and those who just get on and do it. This reveals a lot about their attitude.

These days, having a space that I love to rest my head at night, I can rationalise all discomfort at uninteresting tasks knowing that when the sun goes down I have a place where I can relax and do the things that are interesting to me.

Whilst I would rarely say ‘Bring it on’ I am no longer afraid of the challenges that confront me.

I took this picture because this tree’s red flowers turn brown before splitting open and revealing their seeds. This is the first time I’ve actually noticed the seeds inside.