A Time Too Brief – 6th June 2022

I’m going to take you to heaven
After I’ve fixed all your faults
It’s the end of the road, Jack
The silent fist assaults
Miseries drowned in buckets
You were saved and risen
A life designed for a moment
All that you were given
To chase the tail of fortune
Or find a place to be
Put down and out of here
A time too brief to see
The struggles of the brothers
All fighting for a teat
Survival of the luckiest
Suckled and complete

Singy – 7th October 2021

Rob’s singing about his cat again
And I’m trying to sing-a-long
I can’t quite hit the harmony
And I get the lyrics wrong
But the joy is in our hearts
As we’re belting out this song
There’s no difference between us
We are all where we belong

Inspired by listening to Thingy and the genius songwriting of Rob Crow and his songs about his cat Molly.

Time, time, time to escape – 30th July 2021

Since Kim came back from the vet she has been fairly content to be stuck in her one room paradise. The room is bigger than my own! We take her out on a leash each day but she doesn’t like it and just sits sniffing the air. She is getting more keen to dash out whenever we open the sliding screen door and occasionally I will let her roam close by and try not to let her run off.

This time I failed! She quickly jumped up the wall and onto the roof for a look around the trees, where she used to pull little birds out of their nests. I ran around the other side to the step ladder and poked my head up. Luckily she was curious enough to see my head in such an odd place and crept out from the cover of the leaves (can’t really camouflage orange!) and came to investigate whereupon I quickly scooped her up and back into the safety of her room.

It’s sad that she can’t be allowed outside but as she is still a rebellious fighting teenager cat we can’t risk her hurting herself with her weak and compromised body. We are trying a special medicine that has helped some cats fight back against leukaemia but there’s no real guarantee that it will work.

And as always, we get all 3 cats home for a few weeks before another gets sick and has to go and stay with the vet for a while. This time it’s Tigger, who has suffered kidney problems over the last few years. He was looking uncomfortable and stopped eating and the vet found he had high counts of something or other in his blood. He’s on a saline drip until that stabilises again.

We do love our cats.

Ode For Kim – 30th May 2021

Kim Chi was sleeping a lot. It’s normal for cats, we know. She still rolled and stretched herself and purred at a tummy rub. Her body felt hot – not so strange for a cat that has been curled up and the outside temperature is close to 40 degrees. But this type of hot, which I cannot ideally name, didn’t feel quite right. To describe it, it is not like a surface heat but a heat radiating from inside, under the fur, skin and meat.

And then she stopped eating. Again, this happens sometimes when it’s too hot – just a loss of appetite. But these signs combined led us to a trip to the vet – again – she was there only three weeks ago for a fighting wound.

Her temperature was high so they ran some blood tests which indicated that she has measles. Our neighbour had recently told us that many cats in the village had died from measles so this news was a little worrying. Then on top of that the tests also showed she has leukaemia…. This will most likely mean a shortened life and complications with any illnesses she may have.

This news is devastating but I also tried to be rational and consider that she was delivered to us in a bucket, on the way to the temple where she most likely would have led a terrible life. We have given her love and a home she may not have received otherwise. I hope her weak little body can fight through this illness. We cherish every day with the love of our cats. As arrogant, yet more loveable than most humans.

You are one crazy cat
Delivered to us in a tub
Squeaking and all that
Climbing out for a rub
Covered in dirt you were
Until we scrubbed you clean
Nothing seemed to deter
You from going off unseen
You became the princess
Even though a boy
Fearless curious interest
Everything a toy
Grown into your own tales
Sometimes battered and bleeding
You’re one that never fails
Giving me the love I’m needing
Every day a blessing
For the nine lives you abuse
Eight and we are stressing
This is the last one you can use

Brain dump (by mouth) – 13th September 2020

Cappuccino walking slowly something wrong – But he can’t explain why – just a funny cry
Why cats can’t speak our language – Why we can’t speak theirs – Old man – Looks old acts old – His hair still beautiful Looks Still beautiful – Must prepare for the inevitable – We love him very much
Neck cranky – Slept okay – Stretch And yawn
Temporary crown keeps falling out when eating – Annoying but funny
Speaking still weird I think I’ll go back to writing

And so ends the attempt to dictate morning pages

Brain dump (by mouth) – 11th September 2020

Attempting morning pages exercise using dictation with phone (Samsung)

The first time using computer for morning pages
911 – In my head Chile 1973 – 911 has more than one meaning
Tired not sleeping – Intervention – Can’t remember my dreams
Three cats in the kitchen – Tigger crying
Kimchi with energy
Looking forward to classes today
Difficult to think and speak sometimes easier to write
This is first time so let’s try
Cool morning
Stretch body and brain
Snail on verandah

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #43 – 20th June 2020

This week there’s music from Outside In, Deerhoof, PFM, The Small Faces, This Heat, Debile Menthol, Quizz Kidz, Magma, MC5, Lightning Bolt, The Vibrators, Unsane and The Shades.

Brain Dump

Fed cats but forgot to check KimChi didn’t eat Cap’s food. Cap’s so lovely – follows Amy everywhere. So fluffy and gentle. Kim teases him all the time and Tigger seems to hate him! Which cat am I? Tigger the hater – Kim the teaser – Cap the gentle. Which do I want to be. Of course. Be like Cap.

Half Man Half Biscuit on mental jukebox. On the ‘roids. Five-minute workout. Feels good but not yet inspiring enough to do a 10 or 20-minute workout. Don’t need to push it anyway.

I read – can I act on it? Practical things yes, but mental things? The result of performing practical things will bring me towards the mental things. I will spend my whole life doing this.

Ache in shoulder. Cateran. *

Time to watch a movie today? So many great movies. Sometimes feel like I don’t have time or concentration to watch movies anymore but that’s not really true. Painkillers or not today? Aching eye – tired from screens probably. Do eye exercises?

*reference to The Cateran song Ache from the album of the same name. I believe the line sung is ‘ache in clover’.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for getting out of bed with my alarm this morning and doing my morning routine when I could have ignored it completely. I feel good for it.

Why don’t you do something, at least get out of our way – 6th June 2020

Tiananmen – America burns – irony, oh the ironing – where did that phrase come from?

Core is useless – short plank – five reverse situps and 16 bike, at least I know it’s something I can improve.

Smoky air today despite lots of rain, coughing phlegm – neck sore from sleep – would like my neck to be free from pain – been a problem for so many years now. Look up neck exercises.

Still Heavy Vegetable* on the iMind player. Foot massage yesterday, good but ineffective – need every day! I can’t breathe anymore – I can’t see through these lenses.*

Fat Tigger purring in my arms – still eager to get down. No lap cats in my life. Maya and Inca.

Little garden changes – making a home.

Okay – some weights. Slowly, slowly changing body.

*was actually Thingy’s Ketchup Sandwich

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to discover so many things that I enjoy. They keep my brain satisfied.

Oh no, it’s starting again and time will bend – 28th May 2020

image: making videos for students working from home

Sat at my desk in amongst the clutter to make it easier on my back and wrists. Reminds me of an old online friend who had a blog called ‘atmydesk’ – I think her name was Sara – some connection with Nomeansno – was thinking about my tattoo this morning for some reason or was it a dream “of a 6-foot woman”– listening to Heavy Vegetable and things on the weekend but now I wake up with the songs in my head. I’m bad at writing quickly these days and arm is sore from pen holding. Sweating on the clutter just a fan today no Aircon temp is perfect just sweat when moving. Neck is creaking after the very short workout – just warmup really but got my body out of slumber neck is really bad these days “6-foot woman” is stuck now. Amy rearranged plants around the house Tigger rolling around in the grass last night – all the cats seem really chilled these days – makes me so happy. Is my mind already empty? Just replaced with Rob Crow’s music. Don’t remember any dream – slept well – want to sleep more but energised now after warmup workout – don’t push it doesn’t matter – don’t stress about George telling you the best way to do something – it’s just his advice on his experience – it’s not a judgement on you and you can do it the way that you want. Going to offer more help to teachers today. Do they like me? Are they scared of me? Am I not approachable? If I’m thinking about it then – even if I am not these things I can still do something to be more those things right? Put thinking cap on today for video. Gonna be another good day today – just you see.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the cooler weather this morning. I felt more relaxed and happy.