Tag: David Foster Wallace

Strangers – 1st April 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment 
Are you irresponsible in the darkness?
Shaded in soft golden neon
Does rebellion foment on tarmac curbs?
A target found to all agree on

Hidden in plain view
The many meld into the cosmic one
Mysterious brothers and sisters
Measured in memories soon undone

In dream parties revisited
Eyes locked for a second brief
Know, not knowing
Moments of ecstasy or grief

Soft smiles acknowledged
A metaphorical tip of the hat
Strangers to each other
There's nothing better than that

You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn’t.

David Foster Wallace

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that I can watch the Swans game later today.

I should get out in the garden and get on top of the weeds in the hedge. Do it like the grass, just a little at a time. Do it properly like the gardeners did the first time we hired them, sure to impress, and then they never did it again.

Waiting for rain. First it was forecast all weekend, then just today, and now just during the night. Maybe it won’t rain at all, though the sky looks like it wants to.

Not only do I realise I am like my mother in that I’m happy to be alone, just as I saw my mother alone for all my growing life, and I can also see that Bronwyn consumes herself in her work and happily keeps herself alone (as far as I can see); I should not worry about Hayden being alone or having few friends. I don’t know who are his close friends, his real friends and I don’t know his interactions with them. But it’s in his blood anyway. When I see myself on video calls, I see a carbon copy of my mother’s face and mannerisms. I don’t know why I don’t like it. Maybe it’s a failed rebellion.

Up at 7 with no place to be, a weekend day made special by it not being the weekend. I have another 30 or so days like this ahead. After cat feeding and some shoulder mobility exercises, I walked to Utopia, enjoyed two coffees and the company of the shop cat Piti as well as a visiting neighbour’s kitten. They tumbled, rolled, chased and darted around, forcing me to look up from the Amy Winehouse biography I’m reading.

After walking back and showering, I settled into the hammock to watch the Swans be outclassed by the Western Bulldogs and after the high of last week’s win, consider the disappointment of this week’s loss. The Swans never look like they are going to win; even when they were Premiers, every game felt like it could all fall apart at any moment of inspired opposition play.

Have since been fiddling around with playing guitar, reading and eating lunch and wondering how I will occupy the evening. I’m down to my last 400 baht and may not have money in the bank for another three days. I think I will drink a beer when I have that balance back in favour.

Infinite Jest – 23rd May 2021

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Be on guard, the road widens
And many of the detours are seductive
Talent is its own set of expectations
Try to be a no-one, so instructed

Of multiple exposure melodramas
Learn to care and not to care
This is where you are not who you are
Shaped or broken, remain aware

Learn from those who fail
This is your body, they want you to know
This is the whirlpool, a friend
Your torn blue ankle tells you so

Unconscious exercise becomes a way to escape
A long waking dream of pure play
On the line, you must call it fair
A thousand times and every day

*pilfered and inspired by David Foster Wallace’s ‘Infinite Jest’

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for a relaxing Sunday morning with coffee and a book and then a couple of hours watching football. A little cooler today, thankfully, though still hot. The future is looking bright (if you close your eyes to other things!).

Well, maybe now you’re getting what you expected – 21st January 2020

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Eight rules for the school of life

1. Accept imperfection
– Perfection is beyond us.
2. Share vulnerability
– the bedrock of true friendship. Compassion for ourselves, generosity for others.
3. – Know your insanity
– warn others, contain our follies.
4. Accept your idiocy
– messing up is to be expected.
5. You are good enough
– ‘Ordinary’ isn’t a name for failure.
6. Overcome romanticism
– Love is patience and compassion for our natural weaknesses.
7. Despair cheerfully
– We’re not individually cursed and many small things should stand out: a sunny day, dawn and dusk, etc
8. Transcend yourself
– Cosmic humility is taught to us by nature, history, and the sky above us; delight in being humbled by it.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to know that I won’t be working at this school next semester. I’m sad in one way but excited in others. Knowing what will happen next semester is the best option.

You’ll stop caring what people think about you when you realise how seldom they do.

David Foster Wallace

To-do list

  • Enjoy new activity with students. ✅
  • Think before speaking. Listen first. ½
  • Gym straight after work. ✅
  • After squats meditate for 5 minutes. ✅
  • Fill out dreams for dream decade challenge. ✅

Easy, perhaps somewhat boring, day. Being surrounded by the other foreign teachers it was a struggle not to complain and when I thought about it more I realised I’d left my bracelet at home so I’m giving myself a day of forgiveness. I’ll wear it tomorrow and try to be more conscious of not joining in the complaining.

21st Mar 2024 – I would wear a bracelet that I would have to swap hands every time that I complained. I would mostly forget to do this until later but it was an effort to become conscious of complaining. I think I only managed to do this for a month or two in the end.

Knowing I won’t be teaching here next semester has kind of lifted off any real burden to overperform. I do still feel like doing my best for the students though. Tomorrow will be more of the same at school. Afterwards is the dentist and then meet with George and Bruno. They have kind of opposite personalities but both with virtuous hearts – I think I sit somewhere in the middle so conversation should be interesting.

I hope to get some information from George on what to expect when teaching back at CRPAO.