Washed up on the sandy shore, I am the debris of all the bad decisions made with certainty; it seems I’m not done, up ahead, the paths to choose; so many losses to come, so much more to lose.
For every adventure approached at full throttle, all ended the same, clutching an empty bottle; last night’s enlightenment sought to confuse; so many losses to come, so much more to lose.
In pursuit of fun, all the wasted time I spent losing myself in dreams and repeated lament; here I go again, sober and set to abuse; so many losses to come, so much more to lose.
A 12-syllable Complaint shared with dVerse and No Theme Thursday picture prompt. The refrain was inspired and paraphrased from this post at Tiny Hearts, though I’m not sure exactly who originally penned it.
Your mind believes what you tell it So let’s fill it full of golden voices til overcome and overrun – rejoices
Any trouble becomes easy to dispel it Once you’ve given yourself the choices Your mind believes what you tell it So let’s fill it full of golden voices
Good or bad – now you can smell it Understanding what the right choice is Filter out unnecessary noises Your mind believes what you tell it So let’s fill it full of golden voices til overcome and overrun – rejoices
An English Madrigal shared with dVerse and initiated by the attached picture from the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation as the form is often connected with themes of love.
The Teskey Brothers – sounds like it is last century. Makes me think of Django Reinhardt a little. Also reminds me of a straight Fred Lane. Fred Lane fucks with this genre somewhat.
Steve Lacy – nothing against but who listens to this and when? What mood would you be in to listen to this? Kinda elevator/background music to me. It’s music that you don’t listen to.
Dabeull – No surprise that I’m not into this but the album covers are amazing and remind me of Toecutter and his take on Captain Ahab – this is fairly obscure reference to a memory of a Toecutter show in Sydney around 2006! I’d never heard Captain Ahab until just now trying to jog my memory. Their music is not similar at all to Dabuell!
Witch Egg – This is interesting. Has some Sunday morning vibes along with tripping out Friday 4am madness. A new one for me to check out more.
Lustmord – A familiar name but never heard before. This one doesn’t win me over.
Dreams fuelled the fire Sacrifices made to inspire Hard work satisfies desire A ladder to heaven Ascending to the stars Dreams fuelled the fire No stone remains unturned Sacrifices made to inspire A lesson always learned Hard work satisfies desire Reward is duly earned
My new Sleep app alarm didn’t work as expected this morning, so I woke up a few minutes later with my normal alarm and ran behind schedule a little but I forced myself to exercise and I’m glad that I did. I always feel much better after exercise and have to remember that as encouragement.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
The two packs of rice crackers that I bought on Monday and ran out of time to eat and were still in my bag today, just when I needed to snack to keep me going.
The best thing about today was:
Doing some one-on-two interviews with my grade 12s really tested them and quite a few students surprised me with their abilities and with their ideas. It was really nice to experience.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Kru Tongjai seemed to be in a bad mood today and was annoyed that I was using the small teachers’ room to interview students and encourage them to speak in a safe, quiet environment. She told me that I shouldn’t be there and that I should figure out somewhere else to do it.
Champ had already said that it was ok for me to use the room and later said that he thought it was great that I was doing what I was doing to help the students.
Just another day of confusing messages from the staff around me. Never mind.
I seem to end many of these entries with ‘never mind’. Perhaps that’s good.
Something I learned today?
Teacher David is thinking that it is time to move on for him soon. He’s paranoid that he’s being watched closely by other teachers. I don’t see it myself but he has made me more wary of what might be going on.
Another picture after Sarah stole my phone again. Her and KT.
With the brightest smiles and feined sincerity that serves you so well As the bee flits from candied purple to butterfly blue You’re on your way keeping all that honey as stored ammunition
It’s Me
The facade crumbled the honey on my lips enlightened by my taste Poison to my senses the comfort of your nest no longer warms I’m on my way I’ll make space for the next fool you find
Ok again. My throat seems a little clearer but I’m still croaky. Otherwise, I slept well, though only 7 hours.
It’s a cold, sunny Sunday and I will pick up Amy and Baew and we’ll go to In Am’s Kitchen for brunch.
It doesn’t look that special but getting into some sourdough after not having had it for a long while was great. There is a new bread shop that opened in the city too but sadly it was closed today.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Baew and Mee for bringing Amy home this evening, as she decided to stay on and continue drinking and eating today!
Every day is a holiday for my little Amy!
The best thing about today was:
Listening to lots of music, though only brief listens to new bands that I wanted to check out. One day I have to stop this endless search for new music – there is so much good music being made. I need to enjoy what I already have! Same goes for comics too (and books!)
I’m also halfway through finishing the Barber Dead interview for Suspect Device and enjoyed listening to their EP again. Already good to begin with; it has really got its hooks into me.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I haven’t been motivated to play guitar for a few days now and it is mostly due to the time factor, as I enjoy other things instead.
Something I learned today?
Don’t buy coffee at In Am’s kitchen. Whilst the food was great and reasonably priced, I’m fussy when it comes to coffee.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I’ve been chatting with Baipad through TikTok where we seem to be sending each other videos of cute animals. I feel a little as if she is my part-time daughter.
I took this picture because mother and daughter have been reunited and both keep getting off their ties and coming to chill in our garden again.
The following poems were inspired by the Outcast and Other Words anthology which I came across sometime in 2024. I decided to take all the prompts from that anthology and see what I could come up with myself. 17th Sep 2025 – Shared with dVerse – reflections
We outcasted ourselves by dissemination Of the minutiae of every spit and cough Sharing feeble insights and useless opinion Considering a duck face meme be enough
A tragic victim of fate or led astray by odd notions? Either way, ended up beneath the roiling oceans Or frozen solid on a parade to the mountaintop Life lived in safety has already come to a stop
Sparky Attitude, an ungrateful iconoclast Demolished her own feeble castle keeps An arrogant empire would neither share nor last To a lonely future she limps and creeps
Show me the mould, I wanna break it It’s a lovealution and we’re gonna make it Put me in a box and I’ll find an escape That’s the revolution we’re trying to shape
Just need a little juice to fill up the whole A tiny spark to get some action-shifting A combustion of the heart that you stole To restock the emptiness of your gifting
Waking in the morning was as if nothing had changed Except that everything in life had been rearranged Walking again into the night the patterns are all the same What it was and what it is now has a different name
Taking a thought and pulling it apart Taking a heart and smashing it to pieces A fragment pleases, a misunderstood art An origami part, following the creases
Fighting for breath, caught in the undertow, Unplug from the drama, go with the flow Another story that no one else needs to know An ever-decreasing circle ready to be let go
Title taken from and poem inspired by The Stoa Letter email
Without explanation let’s concoct a story A dry tale to give the past some meaning Wrap an old coat around to comfort When these memories need spring cleaning
All my thinking folds in on itself* To stand proud, solid and silent as the tree A summer showing of greenest health Conceals the winter dark inside of me
I didn’t bring a gun to a knife fight I’ll not flash cash in a parade of wealth I’m no better than you and no more right I am only better than my past self
Are we are righteous, acting out a virtue? Or is there no other choice, no better outcome? Or do we accept that this is the way of the world? Or is this just a habit, the way we have become?
Which narrative will we use today For each decision that comes into play?
There’s no time to stop, even to live Pushed to the limit, something’s got to give Pumping ugly muscle, pulse under pressure Once busted it stays broken forever
If I wasn’t sitting down when the spin hit The swirling vortex afore me would soon see me sat Cartoon birds circle my head where I sit Stuck in a motion that keeps me where I’m at
A flourishing joy around a rope jump Lush youth laughing and chasing Hustle and bustle, the mad thrills pump Energetic thoughts set hearts a-racing
Spirited shouts and sudden screaming It’s an unharmonious harmonious noise Fresh-faced fancies of everyday dreaming Amongst the funky fires of the girls and boys
We’re chasing rainbows in a clown car* With common sense in the rearview mirror Whilst catching a glimpse of the future Where everything will become less clearer
With my love, my daughters will grow up strong With the wealth of the oil from the olive trees They will rise from the ashes to where they belong To return to their home from the river to the seas
You don’t exist yet No form but aspiring Struggle to germinate To break the seed skin A sprout to be set New growth inspiring Hollow bricks gestate A weapon within
Today I’m feeling:
Fairly good. I got up early and out for coffee whilst also doing some reading and writing.
Amy turned up more … morning with a carrot cake that she made as a gift. Whilst there, she talked with Baew, who had stayed at Noy’s house last night and had already started drinking again!
I dropped Amy there so she could drink and talk more with her friends, picking her up again in the early evening.
During that time, I mostly just read, starting the Suspect Device book and the first story in the Marvel reading order. The first of thousands of Marvel comics! I also enjoyed Jodorowsky’s The Incal, too.
Early to bed tonight, with reading, as I head to the hospital at 7 am.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Some quiet time at home, just me and a book.
The best thing about today was:
Writing a new poem that I was happy with. I haven’t been writing quite as much recently but seem to be able to click back into it easily enough.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
One of our cats peed on the sofa last night and whiffs from it sometimes took my breath away as I was reading. Bleurgh! I’ll have to sort it out tomorrow, taking off the covers and washing them, spraying loads of deodoriser too.
Something I learned today?
Miyor, Nudee and Satang posted a story of them drinking beer last night. Naughty! I wrote to Miyor but just laughed about it.
