Tag: dVerse

The Silence – 31st May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 30 Comments

The sadness is creeping
– Into my periphery
Until it overwhelms

Salty tears a-weeping
– All about is sucking me
Deep into darker realms

My old friend
– A bitter taste of blood
A dull aching head

Let’s not pretend
– That this is good
But sleep instead

Submitted to dVerse Quadrille #202 – Darkness and Poets and Storytellers United #129
24th Mar 2026 – shared with dVerse Quadrille – silence

Today I’m feeling:

Tired but kept running by knowing that it’s the end of the week.  Six hours of hot and humid teaching even with brief respites in the aircon have been completely draining.  

I’m home now and will make myself a salad soon.  

I took three of the magic mushroom pills that I got from Matt and can feel a sense of pleasure rising in me and will watch some comedy to wind down the evening.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Den, (I’m not sure if that’s her name actually) who lent me her Bluetooth speaker for my second class.  I gave her a frangipani flower in return.  I’d gotten it from a student earlier, who had put it behind my ear.

The best thing about today was:

Getting some good feedback on some of my recent poems.  I didn’t get a chance to write anything new today but whereas I used to be about a week behind in posting poetry I’m now a month ahead.  I’m enjoying writing and learning different forms and playing with it a little more.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I snuck up on Nong Fah and stuck a wet finger in her ear as she was lying down looking at her phone in a classroom. She went off in a huff and Jet said that she had PMS and had been moody all day (although she was fine in the morning when I saw her).

Knowing that it is best not to do anything more I played a bit with some other students but saw Fah dabbing her eyes with a tissue and looking really upset.  I watched her from a distance and wondered at the loss of emotional control that many females get once a month.  I can never really understand what that must feel like.

I caught her eye before I left for my own class and tried to express my sympathy with her.

Almost instantly on arriving at my own class, I could see that KanomBang was grumpy with me and her friends tried to explain that she too had PMS.  “That thing…..girls….once a month…”  I love it when the kids realise that they successfully communicated something in their second language.

Anyway, KB soon picked herself up a little bit and was ok.

It’s so weird to see the bewilderment on these kids’ faces when they go through this.  Like ‘Why the fuck am I feeling like this and can’t change it?’

After I got home I messaged a mini heart to Fah and said that I was sorry she was upset in the classroom.  She too, had recovered herself a little by then and was happy to chat a little.  I told her I was sorry I snuck a wet finger in her ear and she laughed and said she was sorry that she behaved the way she did, which I, of course, told her there was no need to apologise.

As an aside, interestingly my super smart grade 8 student Film questioned me in class why I treated boys and girls differently, something that he had picked up on perhaps when the ‘couple’ in the class were ‘fighting’ with each other.  I say ‘fighting’ because it is really just puppy love quarrel-play – nothing serious.

The kids listening were very interested when I replied that I treat girls differently because of the way I can see they are treated in Thai society and that boys are seen as superior and are spoiled more.  This got them talking a lot and whilst the girls agreed in general they said that their own families treated them like princesses.

It was an interesting idea to leave them with, to think and talk about.

Something I learned today?

I learned that Monday is a day off and on Wednesday students won’t come to school.  

Apparently, there will be a sports event at the stadium for about 10 days which is going to make traffic even worse in the mornings.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave Nicha a little pep talk when she was looking down this morning.

After I’d finished teaching I saw my old grade 9 students with Kru David and I checked in with a few of them who were struggling with his work.  Earn was all happy with herself because she told me that she had finished and, being a little suspicious, I asked if she had copied someone she shushed me and immediately admitted that she had.

I asked her what program she might do next year and she said the Chef program. I said that’s great and encouraged her to at least get what she could out of being in the English program this year.

As I was leaving I saw Aida sitting by herself and also looking down.  I actually didn’t recognise her at first as her head was tilted downwards with her hair covering her face.  Her friends said that she was upset and tired today and when I met her at lunchtime she was resting her head on the table but with a quick chat she said that she would be ok to do my work in the afternoon.

I was intent on leaving quickly but seeing her again I stopped and sat with her and also gave her a little pep talk. She didn’t say much until I asked her if everything was ok at home and she opened up that she was having some problems with her mum.  We didn’t get into it but I told her that she can talk to me at any time if she needs to.

Inklings – 28th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

I get the feeling you are
Always impatient to arrive
As to why lips are burning shut
My space dreams a guttering flame
Burning the world
After the rain

To learn its secrets, get its power
Needs no spotlight, no orchestra
The inklings of chaos are cleverly concealed
But how do I explain
The shriek and howl of party boys
In a dark, secluded spot

Inspired but too late to submit to the dVerse April cento challenge. Cento: A literary work pieced together from the works of several authors
Line 1: Peter
Line 2: Dwight L. Roth
Line 3: Sanaa Rizvi
Line 4: Rob Kistner
Line 5: Kim Whysall- Hammond
Line 6: gillena
Line 7: Jedediah Smith
Line 8: Ron. Lavalette
Line 9: Punam
Line 10: Colleen Looseleaf
Line 11: Brendan
Line 12: kittysverses

Today I’m feeling:

Good.  I was having a crazy dream when my alarm went off but I was so deep in it that I instantly couldn’t remember it.  My first thought after turning the alarm off was ‘What was I just dreaming!?’

I forced myself out to my room where I discovered that the exercise app I use can now generate an AI routine targeted at your choice of muscle groups and it was good.  It pushed me a little more than normal and I was glad of it.

Hopefully, it is a feature that I can continue using for free as I’ve only ever used the free routines in the app.

Today I’m grateful for:

The random students who told me that they missed me.  I don’t even know who they were but I’m assuming that I have taught them recently and am just not familiar with them yet.

The best thing about today was:

My class of grade 10s this afternoon, which also had a whole bunch of new students added that I had to quickly familiarise myself with, who quickly picked up on the activities that I was teaching and got a little competitive with each other.  

By the end, it seemed everyone enjoyed it despite some students struggling with English and not really being interested.

Something I learned today?

Kru Tang now works in the high school and has been tasked with putting together the new Integrated Program.  She seemed just as frustrated as everyone else with this task.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I walked around the park after classes to see who was hanging where and with who.  I found Baipad in her usual place with another girl I didn’t recognise but soon learned that it was Cookie, Butter’s younger sister.

I had meant to ask Baipad to introduce me to her one morning as I knew that she would be starting here this semester but then forgotten all about it.

I’ve met so many new students already this semester that I can’t even bring Cookie’s face to mind again right now.

I gave them both a candy and Baipad asked me why I always had candy.  I laughingly said that it is because I am a good person and I jokingly complained to her about why she never gives me anything.

Amy took this picture because we have new housemates staying on our balcony. The plant that they have nested on is a little too close to curious cats so we raised it up on a chair where hopefully our cats decide that they are too lazy to investigate further.

Down And Dirty – 16th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Romans once bathed here
Wiping blood from their beat brows
Spa after sparring
Solsbury Hill looks
Down River Avon Valley
Somerset steam rose
Conscious hearts beating
We ran through these stone warrens
Love in ancient times
Praying at the monastery
A different sacking was done

My first attempt at a Choka, inspired by The Skeptic’s Kaddish and submitted to dVerse’s Quadrille #201: Poems of Place

Fatman report

Today I’m feeling:

Good though a little nervous in the stomach. I think I have my head around how I’m going to do things in my classes. 

I can feel less enthusiasm in the air with everyone this morning as the reality of classes starts to hit.

I have a three-flight climb to my first class too and it was already an English summer 27 degrees at 7 am this morning.

One of the boy students was already smelling off by 9am!  And later in the day I saw David in his class of new grade 7s and the whole room stank of rank teenage sweat, like a changing room after five hours of football.

Today I’m grateful for:

Sometimes speaking up and sometimes keeping quiet.  I told the school that I didn’t want to teach the new Integrated Program until it was settled in and that I also didn’t want to teach the grade 9s this year and so it came to be.

So when I got new classes scattered around the school and more hours than the other teachers, I didn’t say anything and just accepted it.

My first class today was in a new (to me) building and on arrival I discovered that the internet cable and wifi don’t work which is a bit of a problem for the method that I teach, everything being stored on Google Drive.

I sent a message to Kru Mai that this was going to be a problem for the five classes I have in the building and he quickly scouted out other classrooms that I could use back in our usual building and voila – four out of five of the classes solved!

When I told Kru David about this he mentioned that sometimes it’s good to speak up and ask for some things and not just expect it.  He also mentioned that George was not happy that he has to teach the Integrated Program now.  He’s had it good for a long time but as soon as something is not to his taste he’s getting antsy.

The best thing about today was:

After my first two classes I managed to get back to House for a coffee refill and sat down to do some writing.

I noticed a pretty young lady studiously working on her iPad in the corner in amongst a lot of people coming and going – probably the busiest I’ve ever seen the cafe.  Some days I might be the only customer all the time I’m in there!

Later the lady got up and as she came to the counter, caught my eye and I thought I recognised her so gave a little smile and then when she smiled back I realised that it was Pear, who used to work there.  She has changed her style a lot but I could easily recognise her smile.

She was studying hard to pass a university entrance exam as she has taken a five-year gap year!  I could sense that she wanted to talk and indeed, she sat down and said that when it comes to English she could read and write easily but doesn’t have much opportunity for speaking.

Actually her listening and understanding is good too and when speaking she can find the words in her head most of the time but it is interrupting her flow.  I could feel that she is driving herself to improve so I stopped what I was doing and we chatted until it was time for me to go.

Something I learned today?

I learned bits and pieces about my new class of 41 grade 12 students.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

After I finished my classes I sent Pear a piece of text to practice reading for me so I could help her more with her speaking.  She replied quickly and I sent a couple more and I will help her when I have free time.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

Motivating tired sweaty students at the end of the day was a challenge and I have three days where classes end at 4.30 pm but it’s looking more likely that I will have to end them all at 4 pm most of the time, which is fine by me!

When was the last time I felt misunderstood?

I can clearly remember thinking that I was being misunderstood by Amy about something that we were quarrelling about but I seem to put quarrels out of my mind (whilst subconsciously learning the lesson of the argument!) so that now I’ve forgotten what it was even about!

Subterranean – 5th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 15 Comments

Like Jack, I ran quickly from my dreams
Eager to discover what it all means
In the moment, exploring the themes
Is anything at all what it seems?
– Put it down on paper
– To review this endless caper

I found a box and put time inside

Was it living or was it writing?
It’s only myself that I’m fighting
A jazz dance in the underlighting
Each pair of eyes met, newly smitten
Fresh fruit waiting to be bitten
Another story begging to be written
– Late nights spent on the town
– Running home to get it down

I found a box and put time inside

And when I meet my future me
I’ll open the box to look and see
Words pressed, sentimental free
Whether tragedy or victory
– Presented here from me to you
– A diary of everything I do

I found a box and put time inside

Submitted to No Theme Thursday and dVerse Meeting The Bar (bop poem)
Inspired by the movie The Subterreans, based on the Jack Kerouac novel of the same name, where one of Jack’s girlfriends criticises him for always running off to go and write about the events of the night whilst he could have stayed and enjoyed more adventures. For some reason, this interaction always stuck with me.
Either way, WordPress provides a box of time for our future selves.

Today I’m feeling:

Anxious this morning. I woke up well before my alarm thinking about going to Bangkok and preparing for school next week.

Starting to relax a bit as I wait for the plane as I leave control to others for an hour or so until landing again.

Today I’m grateful for:

The crazy mixed-up rail options in Bangkok for helping learn more about getting around and gauging travel times. It’s also helped me achieve 10,000 steps easily.

The best thing about today was:

Meeting old friends and new ones at the show tonight.  First Nampan and Pam from SpeechOdd. 

Then Team, who is a young uni student that contacted me last week trying to make connections to put together a screamo band. Later, another young guy called Poom bought some screamo from me so I introduced them to each other.

Of course, I met Arwith and his bandmates in Piri Ries.

I met Sano-san from Low Fat again and exchanged CDs. 

I briefly talked with Fern who is the owner of the venue.

Nampan introduced me to the High Voltage folks.

I also met one of the guys from ADxHD (Korea) who also plays in Struggle Session (China).

Another guy came up to me and asked if I was Shaun and if I remembered him? It was Sasha from Russia! I met him about nine years ago in Kuala Lumpur when we were both staying with Kimi!

It is a little sad to think how small our world is because it feels like there are so few of us interested in this music. But it is amazing to bump into random connections anywhere in the world.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Just my sweat. Thankfully I bought an extra pair of clothes as I was expecting this.

Something I learned today?

Coming from Don Muang, don’t get off the train at Chatuchak for Chatuchak market! Even the nearest station at Bang Sue is a fair walk.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I left some stock free of charge at Heaven and Hell. Poowanat gifted me a CD in return.

I sold some merch at a discounted price at the show and also gifted the venue the Trumans Water and Flesh Narc CDs.

I took this picture because I finally got to see SpeechOdd play.

The Ferns – 1st May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 11 Comments

Fast approaches the fire
Flourish on the ferns
Unholy smokes
Tinder lit touchpaper
Quickly burns
Quietly chokes

The growing distant haze
Across mountain tops
In the line of fire
Cross valley hops
Night skies ablaze
Ash rain falls
Consumed, stops
New ferns grown again

Submitted to dVerse – Quadrille – blaze, Ragtag Daily Prompt – approach and FOWC – flourish.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again. 

An early start today as we go through the 100-day ritual for Grandmum at the temple. Amy’s mum is stressed and stressing everyone else with preparations. 

I can ignore the words as I don’t understand them, though I can pick up the feeling from Amy’s facial expressions. She is trying to cope with humour though I think that she will be happy when the day is over.

Today I’m grateful for:

The family-connected monk who took care of all the rituals that needed to be done for the events today.  I only knew that we were going to Chiang Saen to put Grandmum’s bones into the MaeKhong but I didn’t know that he was also part of it, and so I was a little surprised to see him getting out of a car there.  It did, however, put me at some ease for some reason.

The best thing about today was:

Whilst watering and looking around the garden I found a little black and white cat curled up in our garage.  He was chatty and friendly though we’d never met before.

He looked in reasonable health and I picked him up and put him on the wall and he went off somewhere after that. Hopefully he is not in need of a home.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At the temple everything was out of my control so as usual I just went with the flow.  That’s the best way to handle it.

Something I learned today?

Whilst in the boat on the river we could see lots of things going on on the Laos side and where some of the river bed was exposed some shade was set up and kids were playing and swimming to cool down.

The boat driver told us that the shade was actually set up because they were excavating more as they had recently found 200 Buddha statues there.

I was a little sceptical as all we could see was folks enjoying the water whilst a hidden humongous PA was pumping out Songkran-style Luk Krung that was clearly heard and enjoyed on the Thai side of the river too.

Also, today is the end of the fire ban. We’re now expecting the air quality to get even worse and there’s no sign of rain yet.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I drove Amy and myself to the temple and let myself be bossed around as usual, though things were so typically unorganised that if I sat still for long enough then whatever I had been asked to do had been forgotten or someone else had already done it.

I then drove the family to Chiang Saen and helped a little with taking photos and stopping aunties from tumbling on the uneven steps down to the boat.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

Being outside was a challenge today as it was over 40 degrees in the sun and there were occasions when it wasn’t possible to stay in the shade, though thankfully not for long.

The whole day was a bit of challenge but as I mentioned, going with the flow was the best option to getting through it.

I took this picture because this was the final farewell for Grandmum, into the Mae Khong.

Micro Misunderstanding – 26th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

It’s an undisputed fact that we all consume and breathe lots of microplastics, and we have done for our whole lives. The average person probably takes in 100,000 particles of microplastic annually.

Microplastics are suspected of being dangerous in just about every way you can imagine, damaging our internal organs, poisoning us with leached chemicals, breaking down our cell walls, and causing countless diseases. A vast body of research has been published investigating these concerns.

There’s still no evidence that any of these happen. More data is always needed. More study. More investigation. And when there is evidence of microplastic interaction with living tissue — which there is, certain plastics can and do have detectable biological effects, there’s so far never been any evidence that it’s harmful.

Will you go without?
Though it makes no difference
To save the planet

Paragraph text, quoted/paraphrased from Brian Dunning’s Skeptoid article on microplastics.
Submitted to dVerse for Earth Day Haibun and NaPoMo

Today I’m feeling:

Late start again after very good sleep. Aided by canna oil. Exercised, which sucked and was good too.

Today I’m grateful for:

Noey sending me a message at 11.30 am wondering where I was!  It’s nice to feel missed sometimes, even if it is just by the baristas in your favourite coffee shop!

The best thing about today was:

Another storm blowing in this afternoon whilst I was in my room.  

Two days in a row now, I got to hear the big splats of rain falling on the tin roof above the ceiling and to hear the wind banging all sorts of things around just outside.  

Strangely, it hasn’t rained in the city at all whilst we’ve been lucky enough to not need to water these two days.

Something I learned today?

From a report issued by the US-based International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights:

“The breadth of the U.S. violations of the ICCPR is overwhelming. The committee found breaches of the treaty in nearly every aspect of life in the United States. We (the United States) should heed the committee’s recommendations and demand that our federal, state and local governments in the U.S. comply with our human rights obligations.”

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

In general, my exercise wasn’t too bad today, except for 3 by one-and-a-half minutes of bicycle kicks.  I could do thirty, take a break and then do 15 more but that was it.  I’m happy to adapt the exercises to my skill and strength level so that I don’t give up but can keep going.

How do I handle disagreements or conflicts?

Disagreements I am generally ok with, but when it comes to conflict I don’t deal very well.  I’d rather walk along and forget about it.

I’ve never really cared what other people think but in the past would try to argue my point.  These days I don’t feel the need.  People believe the things that they want to.

I’m open to a lot of different ideas but still obviously have my own beliefs about things.  Entering into conflict over these things seems a waste of time.  Most people don’t want to listen to something that they don’t believe. And for many things that applies to me too.

When was the last time I felt exceptionally strong or brave?

I’ve been looking at this one for a few days already and can’t think of anything.  Perhaps others looking from the outside might have considered some of my actions at one time or another as strong or brave but to me, they were just normal.

Even so, there’s no standout moment of bravery rescuing someone drowning or pulling people out of a car crash.  Nothing so exciting.

What’s an aspect of my culture that I love?

This is a weird one to answer because just what is my culture?  I carry traits from growing up in England, from the middle of my life in Australia and now with some influence from six years in Thailand.

Culture can be great when you are young, something to bond and identify with, but the more you experience and can take the opportunity to travel you begin to see that beyond culture we are all basically the same.

Is culture manipulated by us ourselves to keep us divided?

The aspects of my cultures that I love are that they have given me grit, taught me when to run and when to walk and taught me acceptance.  And when I write that all down I realise that my mum taught me all that.  Mums are culture.

I took this picture because when I arrived at Utopia, Noey told me that she had just sent me a message. I sat down and read it. It said “Where is Shaun?” and so I replied with this photo.

Friday Antidote – 18th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Making Monday Friday
Smile through gritted teeth
The best day of the week
Comes down to belief

No day is hump day
Every one a joy
Waiting for the weekend
A folly to employ

So savour every minute
Life only starts when you begin it

Submitted to dVerse – Friday and FOWC with Fandango — Antidote
23rd Jun 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge – folly

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty inspired after a good sleep.

The crying cats woke me up to feed them at 8.30 so I got up and did that but knew I wanted more sleep.  Back in bed and I eventually got up at around 11.30.  Hooray for a good long sleep!

I think I ended up sleeping at around 2am last night as I was reading comics til 1am and then listening to the Henry and Heidi podcast about Rollins Band.

Today I’m grateful for:

A guy called Pran.  He is Baipad’s mum’s boyfriend and he got in touch with me today because he wants to understand more about Baipad because they may end up all living together.

Baipad put us in touch and was ok for me to tell him everything.  I kinda understand why she doesn’t want to tell him directly.  Baipad seems to like him so I hope he is a trustworthy and good guy.

The best thing about today was:

Getting back to some guitar practice. This holiday has been on and off for me, not wanting to go out into the oven of my room in the afternoons.  But today I told myself to get back to it.  It was a struggle to play and I know that it just needs more practice and that the more I do, the better I will get.

I also told myself that I need to get back into exercise too.  I downloaded a new app to try out for motivation and will start tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Nothing wildly out of control.  I accepted that I woke up late and was even happy about it as I got enough good rest.  

At various times throughout the day Amy would order me to do something and I was in the mood to acquiesce without complaint.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

With Baipad’s approval I told Pran everything that I knew about Baipad’s experience and also gave my suggestions as to what might help her.  I also told him that I understood Baipad’s mum too.

Anchan said that she wanted to go to a friends house and bake.  I told her to stop thinking and get going.  Later on she told me that she had a good time.

Momo took this picture last week because I asked her to. With me is Baitong – a funny favourite of mine.

Through Confusion – 13th April 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Sometimes I wonder what I’m looking for
Why there’s no handle for this door?
What glimmers from the forest floor?
Confused by all these questions

A calm demeanour to maintain
Despite the urge to not remain
Too tired and weary to explain
Confused by all the answers

But I own myself, I’m not for sale
Despite the loss, I cannot fail
Collecting thoughts to fairytale
Confused by all the stories

I went from green to red to green
Saw many things I’ve never seen
I’ve become what I’ve always been
Learning through all this confusion

Written for Ovi Poetry Challenge – maintenance, WDYS #233, Writer’s Workshop Prompts – sale and dVerse – green. Also submitted to NaPoMo.

Today I’m feeling:

A little bleary.  Coffee hasn’t done its magic.

A disappointing practice of guitar has got me down and now the blaring PA system of the neighbours celebrating Songkran is annoying me.  I just want quiet – to think, to read.  It was fun to see the children preparing to start splashing everyone this morning though.

The skies are clearer than the last few weeks, there’s some breeze and the temperature quite bearable.  Only one thing for us to do today – shopping.

Today I’m grateful for:

Art giving me a free cake for Songkran today.

Also, Amy wanting to go to Big C and allowing me to drop a couple of things in the trolley that I wanted.  

She also paid for Swenson’s ice cream for our dessert – which was great and all but nothing on LungChom’s ice cream.

Needless to say, I’m putting on weight this month.

The best thing about today was:

Finding a baby cow at the front door!

We both heard some mooing outside our living room window but it sounded to me as if it was in the field at the back.  A few minutes later we heard it at the front, though thought it was still coming from the field next door.

A second time though and we went to investigate to find the little cutie confused on how to get back to its mum that was calling from the field next door.

We were eventually able to usher it out and back where it immediately got to suckling and security.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Both Baipad and Anchan have been out of contact for a couple of days.  

There’s nothing to be done, I just hope that they are both doing ok for now.

Something I learned today?

I found a very funny comedian on YouTube called Dan Rath.  He’s from Sydney too.

What’s a question I’ve been pondering lately?

I have been thinking a little about what is next?  Am I just going to keep on documenting my life up until this point without really adding anything further to it?  Am I done?  

I am weirdly happy and satisfied though.  

Or am I just old, tired and lazy?  

Pondering questions raises more questions.

I took this picture because we take pictures of our visitors.

Always Going Home – 30th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Outside, the sheds, rotting,
With stores of coal
And wood for the winters

Stray cats brought their kittens
to the secret stash of beers
Stolen to curious teenage lips

The washing hangs from the kitchen ceiling
Dried damp infused with boiled pork
At least the rain can’t get in

There are Proustian moments
of potpourri,
The lotions on the bathroom shelf

Creaking stairs and creaking doors
You’ve been here for hundreds of years
Standing as a home

That scary sloping floor
Will it one day fall on those
grandparents sleeping below?

In my pit
Corners of dirt, carpets of dust
How many skins I shed there?

The icy windows stuck shut
I settle under covers thick with
this year’s sweat

My love of the comfort of your walls,
crumbling as they were,
Left when I did

Submitted to dVerse – Buildings

Today I’m feeling:

More reasonable today though still not breathing properly and have itchy tired eyes.

I slept for almost 12 hours though it wasn’t all good sleep but I was happy to at least have the opportunity anyway.  Getting up late meant that the day disappeared fairly quickly.

After coffee, I came back and watched some videos before a delicious experimental lunch that Amy made of roasted vegetable lasagna but instead of lasagna sheets using soft tortillas instead.

Then some more 3 Body Problem, more videos (I didn’t move much today!) then I made it to my room to play guitar but I wasn’t quite in the mood but still managed about 25 minutes.  My room is super hot in the afternoons now and I need to go there and play guitar in the mornings when my brain feels more alert!

I’m also reminded that I need to get back to my Thaipod101 lessons now that I have some free time again.

And also I want to do some study around active listening.  I figure that after 56 years on earth, I might actually start listening to what other people have to say!  Of course, I may find out the opposite too.

Today I’m grateful for:

The cowman from a couple of doors down.

This evening I was about to go out and close the gate and noticed something black on the grass.  On closer inspection, it was cow shit!  When did that get there!  We were out in the garden in the afternoon and it wasn’t there then.

I grabbed a torch and walked around the garden just to check that whatever visitors we had had gone before going to close the gate.  When I got to the gate it was already shut.  I figured that a cow must’ve come in and the cowman found it, chased it back out and closed the gate behind him.

The mystery was soon confirmed by our CCTV system – a mum and calf with the cowman chasing them out!

The best thing about today was:

Amy’s lunch and then in the evening, Amy’s delicious peach crumble with chocolate ice cream.  What a lucky guy I am.  Or was I just smart enough to pick the best person for me to marry?

Something I learned today?

Last year in the world happiness index, China was number 1, followed by Saudi Arabia and then the Netherlands.  In this year’s report neither China nor Saudi Arabia were in the top 30.  That’s strange!  It turns out that even though their data was collected it wasn’t used in the final report meaning a white Western nation (The Netherlands) is the happiest in the world.  At least, if you cherry-pick the data to your agenda.

Also, whilst watching the Netflix 3 Body Problem it seemed fairly obvious to me that the ‘China Bad’ narrative was highlighted intentionally.  It followed the book in that it was a Chinese woman who made contact with the aliens but as the rest of the series wasn’t set in China, as most of the book was, it bluntly exposes Western audiences to a message of ’look what the terrible Chinese did.’  Sigh.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent more messages out to students about their holidays. Checking in with them.

Paen sent me another message out of the blue talking about ending her life again.  I wrote back quickly but still haven’t had an answer.  I just sent her another encouraging message. I hope she’s ok.

I took this picture when closing the gate a couple of nights ago. Is this a blood moon or air pollution?

Dead Daffodil – 16th March 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Time marches on, each golden dawn
The love call in lingerie wears thin
Beautiful eyes now weep forlorn
As the devil burns at Narcissus‘ skin

With the white lion tete-a-tete
Thalia laughed in comedic grace
Ice follies not quite melted yet
Double smiles across Merlin’s face

A sovereign, a sentinel of silver smiles
Once orange progress or pink pride
February gold fades as June defiles
The Dutch master‘s lemon beauty died

Submitted to dVerse’s Daffodil prompt. Naturally, my mind wanted to turn around the joys of spring and to already mourn its end before it even begins.

Today I’m feeling:

Grotty. Getting up at 4am for Oh and Aun’s wedding has knocked me sideways. In between things that I need to partake in I lay down and dizzily dozed. Each time getting up gingerly worried about fainting.

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to grab a four-hour afternoon catch-up sleep. I could’ve gone through until tomorrow if I didn’t have to attend this evenings reception, where I’m sitting now wondering if I have vertigo.

The best thing about today was:

Sleep.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Not enough sleep and too much sleep! I also didn’t manage to study any Thai today.

I took this picture because I liked the juxtaposition between the two sides. The facade all looking beautiful and behind the scenes the wood and nails holding it in place.
Fatman report