No Choice – 16th March 2022

Every night I die
And every morning born again
I can’t pretend it’s easy
To get up and go again

There is little choice
Whether alone or together
Get up or give up
And close your eyes forever


When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.

Jimi Hendrix

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to pick a bagful of mulberries to take to school to share.

Fatman report

With nothing to do at school and some residual guilt about being at home, I started to feel a little lonely and depressed, so I got up and started watering the garden early, and then came back in and did some exercise, which did the trick, so I think I will try and incorporate some exercise during the day, and some wind down before bed. This should help me maintain my weight better, too.

It was supposed to rain last night, but everything was still dry when I got up. I feel pretty good today, despite having another day of nothing again. I’ll probably get home before 11am.

I brought in a bag of mulberries for everyone and chatted with the teachers for a while before they all disappeared off to a meeting.

I just remembered that I didn’t sleep well last night because I had another nightmare, brought on because of talking with Hayden about nightmares and writing about it here yesterday. Yesterday, I had a fleeting thought of us all having a little devil within us, brought up by a piece written in Philosophy and The Wire, about Nietzsche. In the dream, something unknown was doing horrible things to scare and hurt me and my friends until we became the people doing the hurting and scaring to others! I woke up at one point, actually trying to kick someone away from me!

Me And You, Talking – 14th March 2022

It was something that you said
I took it to my heart
You don’t remember it
Insignificant on your part

Those words always guided me
As you moved further away
I repeated those words often
It became a thing that I would say

Now I no longer speak it
Just as you have too
The language is forgotten
That made me me and made you you

14th Mar 2022 – I’m not quite certain what, or more likely who, inspired this poem. I had a couple of candidates until I got to the last stanza. I like the wordplay in the last line but don’t think I wrote the poem just to use it!
As for the quote below, I can imagine using this in reference to many people I have met or know but every time I do that with words of wisdom I remind myself that I should be applying this to myself.


It is impossible for a person to begin to learn what he thinks he already knows.

Epictetus

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for all the delicious-smelling flowers and tasty fruit and veg in our garden.


It’s so quiet at school without the students here. It makes me wonder why we are here when there is little to do. However, I came and sat in the teacher’s room and read my book before coming next door for coffee. As I was leaving, I heard that two of the teachers, who’d been in that room last week, now have Covid.

I woke up in a nightmare this morning. I was trying to get Hayden home. He was about six years old, but had to leave him to go and find the key, which I couldn’t, and then the world was conspiring against me to get back to him, and I was awoken by my alarm and felt quite upset. I pushed through a little workout and meditation, but felt quite lonely this morning.

I’ll call Hayden a little later and see how he’s doing. 

You Were Dreaming (But It Was A Nightmare) – 13th April 1985

My ideas are running out
I still don’t know what life’s about
They say I’ll find out when I die
That doesn’t stop me wondering why

Help! Help! Help! I need help!

I try to write a song on another theme
It goes wrong, just like a dream
Cos the police are hiding under my cover
If they don’t get me they’ll get another

They’re taking away my packet and bottle
Hands around the throat and starting to throttle
They’ve taken away my sporting thrills
And replaced them with dope and pills

They’ve closed my eyes to the world around
I can’t see my earth from their underground
They’ve closed our eyes to the death around
No one says anything cos we feel safe and sound