Tag: teaching

Aymara – 3rd January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The future is behind me
Invisible to the eye
The past keeps coming
Towards me until I die

Understanding is backwards
Yet life is straight ahead
In the end, it’s all done
When it’s all been said

Today I’m feeling:

A little edgy due to lack of sleep.  I kept waking up whilst having wild and unusual dreams.  I forget their story but have kept the feeling as I woke.  It’s a little disconcerting. Leg exercise and stomach stretching was good and easy.  My shoulders are feeling a little better but not sure that they will be fully ok before next week when I’d like to get back to arm and shoulder exercises again.

Today I’m grateful for:

The teachers who helped me with some little things today, such as finding a stapler and staples in the mess of the teacher’s room and sending the student list so that I could print out the student names for my new class.

I’m also grateful to my past self for downloading lots of useful English workbooks in the past and finding something useful to use for my new class.  I already have too many ideas and I haven’t even met them yet or know what their skill levels are.  I’ll soon find out though – first class tomorrow.

The best thing about today was:

An interesting comment from Kru Karn when I expressed concern for one of my students that she looks after.  She off-handedly said that most teachers don’t care that much about the students, implying that I do.  I don’t know if she was congratulating or criticising but I took it as a matter of pride.  As an average, untrained English teacher I make it a point to at least care about the students and the job that I’m employed to do.

A late update as I’ve just hopped into bed with delectable-smelling clean sheets and anticipating this, I used the expensive shower gel that smells like glitter and glamour. I’m soft and snug, smelling of champagne!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My grade 7 class was a little out of control, still in holiday mode.  I have the feeling it will be like this until the end of the semester with this grade.  I didn’t push them too hard today, just prepping them for the real work on Friday.

Something I learned today?

The Ancient Romans used to drop a piece of toast into their wine for good health, which is why we ‘raise a toast’.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

After my grade 10 students had completed their work for me I helped them with a speech that they had to do for another class later today.  I recorded the speech myself so that they could copy my pronunciation and I sat with them as they practiced and gave them tips.

If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

Somehow I wonder if I might relax a little knowing this.

Without knowing this, of course, I may die suddenly tomorrow.  I should relax now!

Would I keep working?  I enjoy what I’m doing right now but with a known time limit what else could I do in the meantime?  Would travelling the world feel satisfactory or would it just feel meaningless?  Do I even know how to enjoy myself anymore!

I think perhaps I would go travelling but on a nostalgia trip and also to catch up with old friends and have one last conversation.

I don’t think I would just fuck everything off and spend the time decadently.  Maybe a little!

I took this picture because this weird little cactus at House appears to have the Christmas spirit.

Really Wanted – 2nd January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

If you really wanted to do it,
you would have done it already;
If you’d really thought through it
your ship may have sailed steady

Yet here you are with swollen eyes
begging help from the lovely skies;
You’ve got a blessing in disguise,
it should have come as no surprise,
the things you really wanted
you didn’t want at all.

Today I’m feeling:

A little stiff and aching from the last four days of slovenliness but in a good mood, especially to see my students again.  I’ve worked out a fairly easy plan for this week to ease us all back into study gently.

Today I’m grateful for:

Having 196 baht left in the bank so that I could still get out 100 baht from the ATM and buy a 12 baht pack of gum today.  I hope to get paid soon because I don’t have enough money for petrol which will run out tomorrow!

The best thing about today was:

Despite getting distracted with making new lessons whilst at House enjoying coffee, I still had time to catch up on some reading and writing and went back to school for afternoon classes feeling good.

Something I learned today?

In the process of my students making cards I checked the messages they were writing just to make sure their English was ok but couldn’t help noticing some of the nice sentiments that they were showing to their friends, family, crushes or partners.  It was quite heartwarming and endearing.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I let my classes relax into the new year by making cards and didn’t stress too much about them being late or playing on their phones.

I offered myself to teach an extra class now that Kru Wave has left.  I got in quickly before anyone else, both to show willingness and also to be able to choose the time that suited me best.

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

Nothing is too serious to be joked about depending entirely on the environment and circumstances.  No one should ever be upset with anything a comedian says on stage.  One can either find it funny or not.  Nothing is taboo in this case.  But to repeat the same jokes in an inappropriate situation would not be smart.

Gam took this picture because today I had my classes make cards to give to people offering them best wishes and Goya (pictured) and a couple of others made them for me. Goya wanted photographic evidence of presenting it to me so here it is. She’s grimacing because I was poking her in the ribs so that she would smile instead of pulling faces like she was doing before. Her card was funny because she thanked me for teaching her and asked forgiveness for being stubborn and not paying attention in class. 

Zeigen, Schweigen – 28th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

What this is, is impossible to say
Inscriptions to this page
Words stated, yet left unsaid
The knowing of the sage?

So much more was said
When so much was omitted
After all that had been read
And to memory committed

By appearance, the truth unseen
Let me show you inside
Scratched upon this canvas
There’s nothing left to hide

4th Jun 2024 – Submitted to FOWC with Fandango

Today I’m feeling:

Great.  Last day before five days off.  Pushed through arm and chest exercises this morning that really tested my endurance.  My muscles ache and feel good. 

Happy to be at school amongst all the happy kids, though many have skipped today after all the excitement of sports day yesterday.

I left pretty quickly to sit and catch up with coffee.  Enjoying being here but also want to get back to the party atmosphere.  Everything is easy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady who served me in the 7/11 this morning.  It’s a job, someone has to do it and she did her job.  Thank you.

The best thing about today was:

Everything.  It’s been a really nice day.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Yesterday I appropriated Fah’s phone whilst she was in the stands and I wandered off taking multiple random photos just to fill up her phone.  I gave it back after ten minutes or so and she shook her head at all the pictures now on her phone. 

So today, to let her get me back I unlocked my phone and gave it to her whilst I was playing volleyball with her friends.  I got it back about 15 minutes later and forgot about it until I got home.  

I’ve just spent the last 30 minutes scrolling through 100s of photos, deleting half, considering the rest and wondering what to do with them all.  There are some nice shots in there, though many were just of Fah, Jet and Mai messing around pulling faces and not many of me and the ones of me make me look old, which I am (but don’t want to be!). 

Phone cameras are so good these days that it’s easy to zoom in and see every line, wrinkle or sag on the skin!

Something I learned today?

Australia is wider than the moon, with a diameter from east to west of almost 4000km!  But this is only when considering diameter and not land area.  If you flattened the moon out it would actually be wider.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I spent 100 baht (of my last 700 baht in the bank) on some wafer snacks for my students’ Christmas party today.  I personally handed them out to everyone and wished them a Merry Christmas.

After getting home I let Amy take a nap and took myself off to my room so that she wasn’t disturbed.

As I was walking around the school I caught up with Baipad, Jan and Apple twice and Baipad was sleeping both times.  The second time I dragged her up for a walk and sat down elsewhere to talk with her one-on-one. 

She’s a sweet introverted kid who is resisting the responsibilities of growing up.  I gave her words of encouragement and sent her back to her friends, and probably more sleep.

How did my relationships change this year?

My relationships this year have been 90% with my students and 10% with anyone else.  My relationship with my students evolves over the course of the year. 

The kids I taught at the beginning of the year I don’t teach so often now and we have all relaxed into a happy friendly environment in classes. 

With the new students I got in May we have all gotten to know each other to varying degrees in that time.  These are the relationships I value highly these days.

My relationship with Amy changed slightly again this year as she returned to Chiang Rai from Australia. 

In most ways, we are back to what we were before she left.  We and our relationship with each other is very familiar.  It’s not boring but sometimes predictable.  That is somewhat of a comfort for me at this stage in my life. 

I think it is also for Amy but she still has the energy to consider going off and doing things and perhaps still looking to the future.  It’s not contentious for either of us, just a matter of fact of the different stages of our lives.

For future me

Jet took this picture of Fah and me showing the stereotype of the student-teacher relationship in Thailand.

The Feral – 26th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Raised in the manner of wolves
Howling at the moon
Running wild in the company of fools
Wide-eyed in chaotic tune

Tamed and reformed by riches
The devil still pulls at the heart
All are affected by witches
The feral rips itself apart

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good from exercise but still not particularly enthusiastic.  Perhaps due to this month’s struggle with money and its limit on what I’m able to do.

(Later) Things did improve as I spent time at House and then back at school wandering around talking to students everywhere.

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Ning who seemed happy enough for me to help assist some of the students in her class – my grade 7 kids.  It’s sometimes fun to join another class without there being any pressure and just offer assistance.

The best thing about today was:

Kwang (and Premier and Program) took my arms and led me around the school whilst chattering away with me, so I feel happy that Kwang is comfortable with me again after her episode last week.  I’d really like to talk more deeply with her and get to how she really feels about things.  She’s still covering things up with bravado at the moment, which is not unusual for kids at this age.

Something I learned today?

I watched Alexei Sayle’s Christmas message where, as a Jew, he supports the Palestinians and calls out the Zionists in Israel as absolute liars. Much of the world is in agreement with his sentiment.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

My students were happy that I cancelled all my classes today.  It was possible that we could still have them but they would be distracted and unfocused with many not even bothering to show up.  I feel slightly guilty though!  Though not guilty enough not to be sitting in the cafe writing this right now!  I will go back to school soon though and play with my students and hang around for an hour or three.

What was the best new thing I tried this year?

Best new thing? I’m not sure I tried any new thing!

Maybe I started using the DuoCards app this year which has been pretty helpful with my language learning.

Fuck, that’s not very exciting, is it!

If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

As I’m already past the age of 30 and I can remember what my body was like then perhaps having that body would not be for the best.  I was still skinny at thirty, the beer belly came on over the following ten years.  As to my mind at thirty, I was still on my way at that point.  I still had peaks and troughs that overly affected me.

If we could rephrase the question to be 60 instead of 30 then perhaps I would choose my body now, despite it being older and slower it feels like it has improved and is fitter than before.  My mind is also in a better place….  Damn, this is a difficult choice.  The two are inextricably linked – healthy body, healthy mind….  I think I will go with maintaining the body. 

I’m thinking this because of seeing Grandmum now whose body is almost given up and unable to speak but I can’t help thinking that inside her mind is still sharp and that must be so frustrating.

I took this picture because Nicha wanted a selfie. When I showed her later she said she looked like a pig. At least I hope she was talking about herself.

No Sight – 25th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The miracles you’ve forgotten
Are still behind those tired eyes
So long now woe begotten
Every day the same grey skies

No longer believing in dreams
Since they all became real
All is exactly as it seems
You no longer know how to feel

Approaching the end of the night
The winter is setting in
And cold hearts start to bite
With no sight of the spring

Today I’m feeling:

A little down on the way to school but better once surrounded by happy smiling Christmas greeting kids.

A little disappointed but happily so that there are no morning classes as kids prepare for the sports parade on Wednesday and there’s a chance there will be no classes in the afternoon or tomorrow too, which is kind of a shame as I had a cruisey time planned for the kids, just making Christmas cards for all my classes this week. 

Still, it means I’m already here back in my spot at House, drinking coffee already.

Today I’m grateful for:

Fui, who I haven’t seen for a few months but as we talked a little whilst he ordered his coffee he paid for my cup as a Christmas gift.  I wish I had some extra money at the moment to be able to do likewise.

My grade 8 students who welcomed onlooker, my grade 7 student Spain, to play football with them.  Spain has some kind of social problem but is a good kid at heart.  He senses safety with me so follows me around a lot and he was watching me play football and the kids kept asking me who he was. 

I went off for a while to see what else was happening around the school and when I returned he was happily joining in with their games with a big smile on his face.

The best thing about today was:

Playing football and volleyball with my students instead of sitting in the classroom with them.  I waited to see if they would come to class but it was apparent that they wouldn’t and no one else appeared to be teaching either so instead of stealing off I decided to stay longer and play with the kids at least.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

The change to the classes today was a bit annoying as I had left the Christmas card making activity until this week.  But still, both teacher and students prefer not to be in the classroom as much as possible, so I guess I will convert this into a new years card making activity come next week.

Something I learned today?

From watching a classic books recommendations video I should try to track down Woman In White, Vanity Fair and Nicolas Nickleby.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave Jan and Apple the art pads to write in and give to Baipad, who was sick at home again today.

I joined in with many activities through out the day, encouraging everyone, laughing with them and generally showing a good time and attitude.  Even Kwang has forgiven me for the tough time we had last week.

I dropped by the flower market to pick up some lillies for Amy as a gift.

Perhaps a vile deed was requesting credit from Gui at House for my coffee this week as I’m almost out of money now.

If you’re going to win the lottery, would you rather win £10 million, or £100 million?

Why would someone choose $10 million?  Yes, it’s enough but why not choose $100 million and give $90 million away?  It’s an odd question anyway as there’s no choice in a lottery.

As this is such a fantastical question I’m not even going to think about who I might give $90 million away to.

I took this picture because the red team were practising their cheerleading and dance routines in the cool morning air. Soon after I went off for my second coffee of the day.

The Newness – 23rd December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Removed from the mundane
The newness shines a light
It’s simple to explain
Why it burns so bright

Let the first kiss remain
The nowness such a delight
Unsure and unsteady aim
But dressed to win the night

Today I’m feeling:

Good in the morning after sleeping pretty well for almost 11 hours.  I woke up on and off in the early hours as Tigger was complaining that the sun was coming up and that meant eating time!  We stayed on for another couple of hours as he came and went with his chit chat.

After coffee, massage and spicy hot pot though I fell back into a doze whilst listening to Sorry’s albums, one of which I had to play again as I totally missed it in a deep sleep.  I couldn’t get going again after that.  My body is catching up with all the energy it has exerted with exercise this week.  But I also feel good.

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady at the hot spring that gave me a massage this morning.  Nothing out of the ordinary but the time flashed by and it was a good way to start the day (after coffee, which is the essential way to start the day!)

The best thing about today was:

The cooler weather that let us enjoy our home, both inside and out.  I joked with Hayden that it’s t-shirt weather, in this case, meaning it’s cold enough to put on a t-shirt.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In the morning Amy was talking about going to a jazz restaurant this evening, the thought of which didn’t excite me much.  It is nice to go and do things together but I love being at home in my free time doing all the things I enjoy.  I don’t have the urge to go out much anymore now I’ve found my contentment.

Something I learned today?

The German government stated that if Europe wants to complete its ‘energy transition’, it needs control of massive lithium reserves.  And those reserves are located in Donetsk-Luhansk (now technically part of Russia).

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Over the last two days I’ve been messaging my student Earn and encouraging her to think about all the things she likes about herself.  She finds it very easy to find five things to do with her looks, she’s a cute kid and knows it, so I pushed her in the direction of her personality and beliefs and she stumbles a bit here as she lacks some self-confidence. 
I was surprised she told me that she doesn’t think that she is a very nice person.  That’s some good self-awareness but a surprising thing to admit, especially if you think it is a negative trait.  I guess it goes hand in hand with low self-confidence.  I gave her more positive feedback which she appreciated.

I took Amy to all the shops that she wanted to go to for ingredients this morning and carried the bags.

When summonsed I dug some holes for Amy to plant some cactuses around the garden.

Namkhing took this picture because Nicha wanted a selfie and I said she’d have to take it so then she roped in NK to do it and after taking the pictures she jokingly added this shot as she was handing back my phone. We were out on the football fields after school yesterday watching the girl’s teams play soccer. It was a lot of fun. No new pictures today.
Namkhing, Fah, Nicha and me, monkeying around.

Johnny Two Doors Down – 22nd December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

It’s the offer of a night to remember
Riding around with the hood down
A petrol romance in a warm September
Exploring every corner of the town

Further out into the smaller hours
The soundtrack radio begs the stirring song
“It’s just me, you and the night flowers
We’re right where we belong”

Johnny, he’s furnished with all the skills
But the pleasure here is a book
These are a different set of thrills
A reward for the patience took

inspired by this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

A bit stronger than yesterday.  My exercise was easier and it put me in a bright mood which I hope continues throughout the day.  I know I’m tired but I don’t have the feeling yet.  Perhaps because I’m ‘on-the-go’.  If I sat and relaxed somewhere it might be a different matter but the plan is for no relaxation today!

Today I’m grateful for:

My lip balm.  One time a year I need it, just when the air cools and gets drier.

The best thing about today was:

In my first class, Baibua was wearing a bootleg Iron Maiden sweatshirt.  Thailand has lots of knockoffs like this and people wearing them have no idea what they mean or represent.  Anyway, I asked her if she liked Iron Maiden to which she just looked at me blank-faced.  Namfon joined and she couldn’t understand either.  Eventually, I pointed to the shirt and even knowing what I was talking about neither of them knew what Iron Maiden was.  Well, let’s do some teaching.  I searched YouTube for The Number of the Beast video and blasted it through the room speaker to everyone’s laughter and my pleasure.  What a way to start the school day.

Also, watching some of my students playing football after classes finished and chatting, and playing with everyone around.  It was a good atmosphere, everyone happy and having fun.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

There was a lot of plan-changing going on today, for things happening today and tomorrow.  I’ve gotten used to it now and don’t get annoyed at some plan that has been made that isn’t quite what I feel up for.  More than half the time the plan changes back to nothing or something I’m more interested in.  The rest of the time I just accept my fate.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I rubbed the hands of some students who were cold throughout the day.  Skinny Nicha in particular has no fat whatsoever to keep herself warm.  I told her to jump up and down which she did for a little while before hugging herself around my arm.

What are five positive characteristics about Amy?

Happiness.  I first noticed Amy at the cafe where I daily bought my double-shot cappuccino because she was always happy.  Many pretty girls were working there and I could have chosen to talk with any of them but I chose Amy.  One of the first things I said to her was ‘Why are you always so happy?’ Because it’s pretty much the opposite of my default mode at the time.  She just replied ‘I’m a happy girl.’ Well, this sounded like someone whose influence I could enjoy.

Outgoing.  Amy is somewhat extroverted but not in an obvious way.  She told me that when she was still in high school her friends couldn’t believe that she would just go up to foreigner strangers in bars and start talking with them.  She has no fear in this regard and can make friends easily.

Hardworking.  When she has a goal in mind she will work hard towards it.  From running her own business in Thailand to moving countries, studying, cooking and more lately housekeeping – she puts all she has into it.

Good with money.  Amy has always managed to budget well even in what seem like difficult circumstances. And she can still enjoy herself without fear of spending money when it makes her feel good. I’m happy for her to take care of our finances.

Loves cats (and good dogs!).  A first judgement can be made on many people by their love of animals.  A love of animals shows the ability for compassion.  Amy will do anything for our cats.

I took this picture because Hayden called me as I was talking with these students and they all shouted hello to him. I figured he might like to see his new fans, Sarah, Toey, Iphone, Pump and Ozone.

Maybe It’s A Madness – 21st December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Staring at the TV static
Hearing the song of the dishwasher
Hidden messages reveal themselves
To those who listen closer

The stars whisper in the wind
Words that make the shapes
Colours taste of iron and gold
The myth perpetuates

Maybe it’s a madness
But someone must be chosen
As the alien messenger
The guide for the gods

Today I’m feeling:

Definitely tired again and not from lack of sleep.  Still waiting to get over the hump of exhaustion brought on by exercise.  Thankfully just the one class in the morning today and I spent til midday running around to get documents together for my work permit again before heading home and a catch up nap.

Today I’m grateful for:

Nancy again, as I asked if she could get the medical certificate I needed for me again, like she did last time.  Otherwise it means me either waiting around or going back to the city after 6pm and the last time I did that the clinic didn’t even open.  Happily, she agreed.

The best thing about today was:

A third coffee at 22 Grams, after a couple earlier at House. It tasted delicious and spurred me to action to make some easy Quizizz for my classes tomorrow.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been trying to push my student Baipad to become more confident and independent but I can see now that she is not yet mature enough and is somewhat comfortable despite her frustrations.

I get it, at 14, we want independence AND everything handed to us on a plate. Sooner or later a rude shock awakens us.

It’s an interesting contrast that she knows girls a similar age as her back in her family village in the mountains and they are already having babies. We both agreed that that is not a good situation to be in but also highlights her somewhat comfortable life at home where a bed and a mobile phone are the main objects of her interest.

Something I learned today?

I still don’t have syphilis! I’m not sure why foreigners need to get tested for this to get a work permit.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I made sure to encourage the students who were putting some effort into their work today. Once they got rolling with it, it was great to see. Some days they make me proud. Tomorrow may be a different story of course, but I’ll take it for today.

I took this picture because this is as Christmassy as we get here in Chiang Rai. This year, despite being two months into winter already, we’re still using aircon for a couple of hours at night.

Titanium – 19th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This missile will find its way
Into the hands of men as gods
This bomb, when come out to play
Accelerates the unlikely odds
Nowhere safe from your precious metals
In bunkers even, sat hiding
Under rocks, the earth unsettles
Monsters are patiently residing

Today I’m feeling:

Good again though I can feel tired from the morning exercise and last night I didn’t stay up much past nine pm.

Today I’m grateful for:

The immigration officer at Mae Sai who gave me my visa, which allows me another ninety days stay and then one year. And I can get that next one at Chiang Rai.

The best thing about today was:

Not being at work in the morning.  It’s always good not to be at work when you are supposed to be, even though I enjoy my work these days.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Every day I could fill this space with something about my classes or students.  Knowing that I wouldn’t be at school this morning I sent work to my students on Saturday to give them plenty of time to do it beforehand if they so wished.  I reminded them on Saturday night, on Sunday and yesterday too but still, there were 13 students that didn’t do any work or communicate with me about their not being able to do it. 

Some will use an excuse that they had to go for vaccination during class time but that’s not going to fly as they knew about the classwork three days previously.  It has got me thinking about how to make some kind of lessons about planning and preparing for things.

Something I learned today?

I read an interview with volunteer medical emergency people in New York where they discuss trying to treat gunshot victims sometimes even as firefights are happening between the police and the ‘criminals’. Just replaying those thoughts over made me realise that the USA is already a third-world country.

What kind of responsible country has gun fights on its streets? What kind of organised country requires volunteer emergency services? A third-world one. It feels like the USA is trying to drag everyone down to their level.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I drove myself and Amy to the city this morning and I took Leo for a walk before driving us both to Mae Sai and back home.

I took time to prep a class for work that they have to do tomorrow so they were a little surprised that they had no actual work to do. 

Hopefully, they are primed and thinking about what they need to do tomorrow.  I’m pretty sure they can articulate in Thai but they need to figure it out in English.

I had to hold three students back in class because they didn’t do the work that I asked of them during class time.  Once they had resigned themselves to this fact I tried to make it at least a little bit fun for them until they had finished. 

Unfortunately, one of them was overemotional and rushed their work so that it was illegible and I had to make them do it again.  By now, everyone else was gone and the sound of kids outside having fun was very obvious. She eventually broke down crying saying ‘I want to go home’ and though I felt sorry for her I realised that she is very selfish and very spoiled by others around her.  I gave her some sympathy but also reminded her that it was her own bad choices that put her in this situation. 

As we were leaving the class I tried to remember what it was like when I was being ‘taught a lesson’ and put myself in her shoes. 

I like to credit my kids with smarts, they know exactly how to manipulate adults to get what they want and I feel like their tears are more because they know they fucked up and were wishing they hadn’t.  I felt really sorry for her but had to stop myself from giving in and letting her off.

How have I prioritized my well-being this year?

This has been by slowly increasing the amount of exercise I get and I have learned that I feel better and more positive on the days that I exercise.

I have also gotten into the habit of reading things that reinforce what I already know and though they often fizz in and out of clear memory I can feel that reinforcement building slowly, protecting my emotional stability.

Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

If this was inside the house…I don’t think there’s anything that can’t be replaced so maybe I might just grab anything to hand….  Grabbing important documents would be handy but I’d have to shove Amy back inside to grab them as I would undoubtedly grab the wrong things, for which I would forever feel her wrath!

If it was in my room then it would probably be my old photos. I’m slowly trying to digitize them all and if that ever becomes the case, even though I would have them stored online somewhere I would probably grab my hard drives with all the pictures, music, books and comics that I’ve collected over the years.

I took this picture because I was surprised to see all this extra decoration on the window at Utopia over the weekend.

Bloodstains – 15th December 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

*What you don’t understand you can make mean anything
Bleeding the meaning dry, the overthought
Adjusting the angles, mentally scrolling through the rainbow
The world become more endless once the meaning caught

*Chuck Palahniuk from Diary

Today I’m feeling:

Good and positive again. Squeezed in a couple of workouts this morning and that has given me some energy boost. Looking forward to sitting and writing after my first class today.

(later) I caught up on poetry writing, easily inspired just by random phrases from things I was reading.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the students that asked me to watch them play their sports after classes and I stayed around for more than an hour walking from place to place, watching, cheering, chatting. Everyone was in a cheerful frame of mind.

The best thing about today was:

My old workmate Marie, from the Woolworths cafe in Sydney messaging me out of the blue after about five years. She had crossed my mind occasionally when I remember happier times working there. She is now living back in France, near Paris and is a single mum. A change from when she was in Sydney and dating girls.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After having just bought tubs of ice cream at Big C I got stuck in the car park as the police closed the roads for some Royal family member passing through. No point getting too bothered, if the ice cream melts, it melts. I won’t die because of that. I did beep the guy in the car two in front of me when he let every other car out of the car park for the next five minutes after it got moving again. But it wasn’t in too much frustration, more just a reminder that maybe we could get moving too.

Apparently, lots of locals complain when the roads are closed for royalty here and it did make me wonder how it’s done in other countries. I think in some they must travel incognito because it seems pretty obvious here that it would be easy to take out the vehicles if you so had that intention, it’s pretty obvious which vehicles would be carrying someone important. I wonder how the police would react too, as it would be so unexpected and they’d probably never have had to deal with a situation like that. I’m imagining a Keystone Cops movie!

Anyway, it’s sleepy Chiang Rai. People complain and then get back on with things.

Something I learned today?

I learned how to use Kahoot in team mode in class and the kids enjoyed it a lot. I can see the benefits from it too. I think I will try to incorporate it a little more often in my lessons.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I cheered on all my students in their various sports.

I checked in with ****** this morning but didn’t talk about her home situation and just let her get her mojo back with her friends.

I took it easy with both of my classes today. I had prepped them for it so that they happily obliged doing the work that I asked them to do.

What was a small detail I noticed today?

Looking at this this morning and wondering if there might be anything I notice. I need to pay attention.

I noticed the small Christmas trees Gui put up in House. I don’t think they were here yesterday….

When I stepped out into the dark garden to take tonight’s picture I made sure to step loudly just in case there were any snakes in the grass. Unlikely but possible. I didn’t really think too much about it. Yet, as I turned to come back inside I noticed something long thin and shiny on the ground which turned out to be a shed snake skin.

I know there were many other small details registered throughout the day but they were so inconsequential that they aren’t worth any mention.

I took this picture because my camera thinks it can see the dark side of the moon.