Very good. I pushed through exercise and felt good for it. At school, I comforted ****** as best I could and asked Jan to keep me updated. I feel a little hopeless about helping her and I can imagine she feels even more so.
Today I’m grateful for:
Nut’s Auntie and uncle who came and cleaned up lots of little details around our garden, in particular, pulling the weeds out from the driveway where our purple grass grows.
The best thing about today was:
Hearing from my grade 10 students that the reason that they wanted me to teach them next year is that they feel relaxed in my class and find it fun and more enjoyable than with Thai teachers. I have to wonder what some of their other classes are actually like.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
On arriving home Amy was cleaning Bruno’s high-pressure hose (and seemed to be in a bad mood) and told me he wanted it back.
I was doubtful about this as he had said to keep it as long as I needed and I still have a few places I’d like to clean up.
I was also informed that I would have to drive Nut’s Auntie and uncle back to Bruno’s after they had finished which would be soon.
I didn’t say anything, I hadn’t even got the shopping inside yet. I just accepted my fate and took a quick shower by which time they were ready to go.
Of course, once we got there, Bruno was surprised to get his machine back already as he knew I hadn’t finished with it, and said to take it back. I hushed him and told him not to worry about it, as it already revealed Amy’s little white lie and I made no complaint. Amy seemed to be in a better mood by then, so all was good as we drove back home again.
Something I learned today?
It has only ever snowed two times in the Sahara. How’s that for some relatively useless information.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Once again offering support to my students struggling with mental health issues.
I took this picture on Sunday morning because this was the same mountain that we were at the top of the afternoon before, rising out of the cool morning mist.
Struggled through exercise this morning as I’m still tired despite a long sleep and my first class was a little difficult to settle down but we all got there in the end.
Today I’m grateful for:
There not being the bad traffic I was expecting when driving home. There are some events going on around the city and surrounds during this month as well as royal visits that close off roads from time to time. But not today! Hooray!
The best thing about today was:
Doing some investigation, planning and discussion with Nampan from SpeechOdd for an upcoming vinyl release. I’m hoping that this will help me get more involved with the scene here in Thailand.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Both my first and last classes were difficult and annoying today but I persevered, having to keep the second class late due to constant interruptions. It doesn’t help that my lessons are designed for two full hours and now we only have 100 minutes.
Something I learned today?
Just as I’m writing here this evening I got a message from Jan wanting me to talk with ****** because tonight she wants to kill herself! Sigh… it’s easy to see how despondent kids can get in the home environments here sometimes.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Talking with Jan and ******, getting information from one and consoling the other.
Offering a helping hand to Freya who is also suffering from depression as well as some physical ailments.
Sharing in the happiness of Mee, who also tried to kill herself last year, but today ran up to me to give me a big hug and smiles, pronouncing that her mum is home from abroad after a long period of absence. Hopefully, this will be enough to turn her life around.
Offering to help out to teach some extra classes since two of our teachers have left recently.
How does my body feel today?
It’s pretty good today actually. I did arm exercises this morning but didn’t feel any after-effects from that during the day, even feeling compelled to do 10 push-ups in the evening. Yes, it’s not much but this weakling old man has to start somewhere and started I have.
After my exercise in the morning, I noticed a sharp pain in my foot like I was standing on a sharp stone. I then just thought that perhaps an ant had bitten me. It wasn’t until I got home after school I found that it was a thin deep cut. I didn’t feel anything whilst wearing shoes at school but in bare feet again it’s painful as hell as every time I put weight on it the cut opens up.
Apart from still aching shoulders after the weekend ride everything else is feeling just about at the normal level of ache for a 56-year-old boy.
I took this panorama picture on Saturday because the whole view was just magnificent. A picture doesn’t do it justice really. No pictures today.
Home Workouts Workout — Morning functional strength training
Today I’m feeling:
Awesome. I felt especially good after my short chest and arm exercise this morning.
Today I’m grateful for:
Our car. I say this because I often see old cars around that I would like to own but remember all the trouble I always had with old cars, except for The Rocket, and how unreliable they could be. So that got me thinking about how grateful I am for our little boring Nissan that keeps going despite the daily thrashings I give it.
The best thing about today was:
Getting things done in the garden and cleaning the moss from around the teaching room using the high-pressure hose. I’m really tired already but it provided a great sense of achievement also topped off with mala soup and grill.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I lost my cool as Amy badgered me for help and then started (what felt to me like) talking down to me like I was a kid. We were outside and I kicked a nearby bucket away in frustration, which then, of course, got her upset too.
I almost immediately just found the situation funny but Amy was very upset and gave me the silent treatment whilst I tried to make it up to her.
Something I learned today?
I watched some videos of the recently released City Skylines 2 video game. It looks very good but I could immediately see how much time would need to be sunk into it and it’s time I would rather spend with other things these days.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
My vile deed was losing my cool with Amy and I’m disappointed with myself because it was nothing really. I’m still trying to make it up to her but she hasn’t quite forgiven me yet.
This morning I just had the one grade 7 class and encouraged my students with their reading which is slowly improving. They should be proud of themselves.
Amy took this picture because Tangmo quietly came over as we prepared to eat an early dinner. He sat and waited patiently and occasionally begged for bits of food. After we had finished we walked him to the gate where he now understands it is time to say goodbye and he walked off home.
Two easy and fun classes where the grade 10s were teaching me how to improve my pronunciation. I let them make fun of my pronunciation so that they don’t feel too bad when I correct their English. I did some reading with them and was quite happy to see them trying and not just looking to me to tell them. I really wish that I had more time to be able to do that with them individually or in pairs.
The best thing about today was:
It was another all-around good day without one thing being better than another.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Likewise to above, anything that was out of my control didn’t get in my way today.
Something I learned today?
I should probably stop reading about the genocide of the Palestinians. It’s frustrating and inhumane. Of course, there is nothing I can do about it but at least know that if there is evil in the world it is openly on display by the Zionists. Religion, whilst preaching goodness and acceptance continues to do exactly the opposite.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Giving lots of encouragement to my grade 10 students and support to my grade 7s. Even though the 7s are still a little distracted they can get back to it if I keep shepherding them. I can see some friend group dynamics shifting a little in that class too. It will be interesting to follow.
Who do I trust the most, and why?
Obviously, this is Amy. Now we have shared 15 years of our lives together and have a deep sense of trust in each other. Our actions have proven that. Whether we are in the same country or not, we trust each other.
I am generally quite trusting of others, though also have a reasonably good radar about people. I like to think that most people are good and decent and I am also prepared to be let down.
Baipad took this picture because I asked her to take a selfie of the fursuit head that she is making. She reckons she can sell these for 150 USD! That’s wild. She’s a little critical of her work because she lacks confidence. She’s only 14 and her skills will only get better and better.
I’m seventeen today I’ve learned very little so far Don’t expect so much This is the way we are
I’m only seventeen This is no time for babies The future so uncertain My life so full of maybes
Yes, I’m seventeen Full of doubts and bluster I can do anything With the energy I can muster
I’m already seventeen Stop telling me what to do I can do what I want I don’t need to listen to you
I’m dead at seventeen My life already done Everything a disaster Will eighteen never come?
I’m still seventeen Inside an adult insecure Learning all about life Always growing more
Today I’m feeling:
Back to normal though I still have some phlegm on my chest but it doesn’t bother me now. I’m feeling good and positive mentally too.
Today I’m grateful for:
The bread shop at Big C that has a black sesame mochi-bread type thing that is a yummy snack and then a little chocolate pastry that I follow up with. It’s a small treat for myself sometimes.
The best thing about today was:
Having a reasonably simple but long (for me) conversation in Thai with Goya about the colours of the day in Thailand and the colours of the shirts we were wearing and our shirts for sports day. It was only as I walked away I realised that we’d been speaking in Thai the whole time and I felt a little bit proud of myself. I’m grateful to Goya for that today.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had a simple class in the morning and the kids were trying to catch up on work for their science class, which frustrated me at first.
I took all their work away telling them that there was plenty of time and that if they finished my class they would be free to do the work they wanted. They reluctantly agreed and most of the class completed the work with plenty of time to spare…. except three students who wanted to go to the bathroom and disappeared for about 20 minutes.
It is still a case of herding cats with some of these kids though they are slowly improving.
Something I learned today?
Brodie Grundy has joined the Swans from Collingwood. Amy used to mention how handsome he was whenever she saw him playing but she’s not so keen now he’s looking a bit older.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Once again I offered Earn some advice because she is shy to talk to the boy she likes. I told her that if she doesn’t talk to him she will never know how he feels. And if she does talk to him then she will know and whatever way he feels about is a positive outcome for her.
Really, she is not shy at all, she is just scared of rejection. She agreed. She then wanted to focus on how pretty she was. I told her that that is only one element of who she is and not to get so hung up on it. She appreciated my advice but I’m not sure that she is strong enough to act on it (yet).
Little Nicha is also crushing on a boy in her class but insists that he doesn’t like her. She is also too shy to find out. I talked to him a little today, asking if he liked any girls in the class but he is either too shy to talk about it or hasn’t even thought about it yet. The girls seem ready for ‘romance’ whilst the boys are stuck on football and video games.
I don’t know if I have the best advice for these kids but what I do want to get across to the girls is to be strong and independent.
I joined Baipad, Jan and Apple in the canteen at lunchtime and they also introduced me to their friend Chompoo. I tried to get them all talking about things in English as much as I could instead of looking at their phones.
Quote: “You’re only poor if you give up. The most important thing is that you did something. Most people only talk and dream of getting rich. You’ve done something.” – Robert T. Kiyosaki
I don’t consider myself rich though where I live others might consider me so. I still gauge things in Aussie dollars and in comparison, I’m not rich at all. Comfortable, I suppose.
I never really expected to be rich and when I dreamt about it I was fully aware it was a dream. I never thought to try and marry rich or even chase money particularly. I was lucky to have a very well-paying job for a few years and whilst saving some I also invested it into philanthropic art with my music label.
So all this time I was busy doing things, doing something. In fact, I even made a T-shirt that just had two words on the front ‘do something’. I had been practising this even before leaving England with my free pamphlet ‘Fuck Around’.
Whether you like something or not, you have no right to reply if you are doing nothing yourself.
One of the purposes of this trail of words on this blog is to look back at all the something I did.
I got this picture from August because my students were supposed to be working but hid themselves behind some stage props in the classroom and started their own little photo shoot. As the quality of the picture shows I caught them before they got very far. I told them that if they didn’t finish my work today I would send the pictures to their homeroom teacher and, sufficiently threatened, they mostly got on with it. It was an empty threat anyway, I just wanted to see my naughty students having fun. Pictured are Fah and Nicha (holding the guitar).
There’s a honey latte running through her head So sweet and milky, her memory a thread Not knowing the day, she ventures to the city Things she thought she knew shined so pretty
Alone, together, the hands are like ghosts Long gone now, sailed to separate coasts Eyeing the barista, nails polished black A laptop hipster, personified slack
She’s a wanna-be adult, yet still sixteen Smart and serious but remains unseen Loving the self-loathing, when will she arrive? Only when she realises she’s always been alive
Wishing for the future and suddenly it’s gone Standing in the middle of what she wanted for so long Nothing left to prove, no longer the impostor Discounted all the time that getting here cost her
Here’s to the memory, the empty honey cup Close the cafe door, breathe til she’s full up Treading familiar sidewalks always reveals the change Yesterday, today and tomorrow always seem so strange
A little tired with a headache and cough again. I didn’t sleep well due to discomfort in my shoulders. I woke up and exercised and felt good for that but my eyes are aching again.
I wondered if part of the problem was connected to the air quality so I checked on the AirVisual app and saw that the quality is already poor and approaching dangerous. Amy has also suddenly got her cough and runny nose back. We will put the air filter in the bedroom tonight.
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to get paid a little money this month at least. Nancy has figured out some trickery so that I won’t starve just yet.
The best thing about today was:
Finding out that all classes are reduced to 50 minutes for December as kids go off for sports practice at the end of each day. There are also three days off this month. Great.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I got to House I was hanging for coffee but Gui’s machine was broken. I stayed a while doing some lesson checking and planning but couldn’t wait in the end and went around to Hobby coffee and I don’t know if it was just the wait but the first cup I got there tasted of delicious honey. I took a second cup back to school and carried on planning.
Something I learned today?
My old student Fah, who was always a bit of a handful but I was drawn to her because she reminded me of me when I was her age, got kicked out of school last semester due to lack of attendance, work, care etc. I wondered why I hadn’t seen her for a while.
Apparently, she has become even worse since, though she is supposed to be studying at another school.
I think she felt an affinity with me, maybe because I never gave her too much of a hard time and encouraged her more than berated her, every time she saw me, without fail she would give me a big hug.
I hope she makes it out there.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent Nong Fah (Sonsawan) an encouraging message to keep going with English in the future, using Amy’s story as evidence.
I helped fix many students’ microphone access so that they could read my work today. I’ve managed to figure out on most phones how to change the setting’s language to English and from there allow them microphone access.
When one of my students accidentally mixed up their words today and asked me if I was studying instead of if I was teaching, I told them ‘Yes, I’m always learning!’
I finally got to congratulate Funfai in person and she is very proud of herself for winning four trophies.
Despite being tired and wanting to get home I stayed and played Uno with Kru Ren, Jet, Noah, Lin and Mai after my class had finished and somehow the kids conspired to make sure that the teachers didn’t win. It was a lot of fun.
I gave my last candies to two of my laziest students, trying to buy their attention for our next class!
Rista asked if we could make Christmas cards in our class again like we did last year. Well, I don’t see why not?
I took this picture because as Tonaor and Nicha were on their way to their next class they suddenly shouted out ‘selfie’ and this was the result. I’d forgotten about it until now.
A bit more lively than yesterday and with a little bit of tension knowing that I have a few things to do. Amy will go out for lunch with Aun so there shouldn’t be any interruptions.
Today I’m grateful for:
Poowanut at Heaven and Hell record store for immediately paying for a couple of copies of the Jornada Del Muerto LPs which I immediately got packed and will send to him tomorrow.
The best thing about today was:
Getting everything done that I had planned. The day went way too quickly though. Even what feels like doing nothing in particular goes too fast and being bored is a thing long past!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
This one happened to Amy but I got to hear all about it. As mentioned above Amy had planned to meet Aun for lunch but as it approached time to leave she called Aun just to double-check, who then said she was still in bed and hungover and could she cancel.
Amy was rightly annoyed and complained to me about this common occurrence amongst her friends in Thailand.
She blamed herself though, saying that she should’ve known better. As she continued I just kept listening and acknowledging her displeasure and she let it all go with a ‘better just to be by myself and not care about other people.’
Something I learned today?
My football team, Ipswich Town, making a bid to return to the top tier of English football lost their first game this season to West Bromwich Albion.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I smiled and acknowledged the old lady (she may not have been old) at Utopia in the morning. She gave me a nod and a smile as she left.
I committed to investing time and money in a new release for SpeechOdd and High Voltage.
A random guy had emailed me last week about wanting to buy a CD in my collection and though I really like it I figured I could track it down again and he seemed really desperate to get it so I decided to let it go today.
Another random guy had emailed me about making music together but he thought that I had made a song that was actually done by Trumans Water. I forwarded his message to the band and replied to the guy that I had done so.
What made me smile today?
Walking into Utopia after riding my pushbike from home, I smiled and greeted staff and customers with a smile because I was in a good expectant mood looking forward to that first sip of delicious coffee.
Seeing Cappuccino and Tigger curled up in the cat tree boxes.
Watching a funny video of a kitten running after a delivery guy whilst I was laying next to Amy in bed after having my morning shower.
I feel like I didn’t smile that much really even though I’m pretty happy today.
What puts me in a good mood?
Seeing my students. They can also have the opposite effect but in general, being around all the students at school makes me happy and picks me up.
Coffee helps too!
I took this picture because I managed to capture Cap’s blue eyes.
The aching thrill of first holding hands Believing it is only love that understands But merging doesn’t make you as one Still alone when the other has gone
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty positive despite a disrupted sleep due to coughing. That’s improved a little throughout the morning and I just hope I can control it when I’m sitting in the dentist’s chair.
Today I’m grateful for:
Some of my grade 8 students stopped by to help with my grade 7’s and helped them with some reading. I think it showed both groups some healthy things.
For my grade 7’s they saw that we are all in it together, helping each other. They also saw how in interact with the grade 8’s and how they interact comfortably with me.
For the grade 8’s they can realise how much they have progressed since they were doing similar work last year.
7.30pm – just got out from the dentist after a successful removal of my dirty old gnarly broken tooth. I’m grateful to the dentist who did a great job explaining everything and quickly and easily removing the tooth.
I can always remember the Hong Kong dentist back in Chatswood who was so short that he had to brace his foot against the chair to pull out one of my wisdom teeth. It took him a good few minutes.
The best thing about today was:
Getting home around midday feeling quite happy and satisfied with things and then hopping into bed for a little Thai study and some comic book reading before weird disrupted light sleep that I enjoyed because of crazy thoughts and dreams.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
At the dentist I was given three options for my broken tooth.
One was for root canal and crown but they said it would involve removing some bone along the whole side of the jaw to keep everything level. I didn’t like the sound of that much.
Another option is to pull the tooth and replace it with an implant but that is 45000 baht! Two months wages!
The final option is to pull the tooth and recap the surrounding teeth with a bridge. That will be about 21000 baht! Still expensive.
I asked about pulling the tooth and just leaving it empty but it was clear from the X-ray that the tooth alongside will fall over into the gap and be a bigger problem in the future. So, the bridge option it will have to be.
I have to wait a month after extraction and I’ll push it to two months as it will give me time to get paid again.
Now is the time to curse my junior self for poor teeth maintenance but well, my teeth have made it further than most of my mum’s so I’ll take it as a win.
Something I learned today?
“It takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds to refocus on a task after a distraction.”
I berate my students for lack of focus but if this statement is true I can berate myself a lot of the time too!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I encouraged Ten, who is a poor student that acts up to compensate. When he was able to read something slowly without giving up and getting frustrated I congratulated him, as did his classmate. Slowly, slowly I will chip away at his barriers and behaviours and pull him into the class as an active participant.
I complimented the dentist on her English this morning. She was worried that she didn’t know how to explain things but actually she did it very well. I’m still trying to improve my Thai but trying to listen to people talking in the dentist waiting room I can feel it is going to take a lot more time. Well, let’s hope I have a lot more time.
What am I grateful for in this moment?
I’m sitting in the dentist waiting room and grateful for the renovations they have done as everything looks new shiny and sparkling and at least gives the impression of professionalism. Hopefully I am still grateful in an hours time when they might have fixed my broken tooth or at least tide me over until next month with a temporary solution.
No picture today so let’s go back to an old favourite that I like to confuse my students with.
I’m saying goodbye to all the terrible kissers Crazy roommates and sideways pissers No more mental breakdowns for me I’m handing the landlord back the key
Moving on from fast food dates Working minimum wage cleaning plates I’m tired of all the dreams I’ve dreamt That I never had time to attempt
But finally, the time has come for me To make the trip towards a different sea The school of life has me graduating Beyond the realms of just contemplating
The terrible kissers will be a reminder To treat myself and others kinder Four winters and summers now past The time is right to move on at last
Ok but still coughing a little. When I got to school I found that one of my classes has 15 students off sick today! Amy is coughing and has a sore throat now too.
Today I’m grateful for:
My student Lydia for expressing her appreciation for my class today which was about vowel sounds.
I was also grateful to Tulip, who I moved from the back of the class to the front, which she was extremely unhappy about but then excelled in her interactions and was full of smiles.
I messaged her later to see how she felt about it and she gave positive feedback. I hope it encourages her for the future.
The best thing about today was:
A steady diet of happiness, many happy positive moments without one standing out.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I turned up to an empty classroom for my first class of the day, only then finding out that they had to go off to some meeting for the morning.
It would be nice if the kids learned about planning and communication so that when they become adults they can plan and inform people like me that get frustrated about its lack!
Nevermind. Five hours before my next class. Let’s drink coffee!
Something I learned today?
I read it on the internet so cannot claim it is true but this text said that supermarket apples can be up to one year old. After picking they are covered in wax, hot air-dried and placed in cold storage.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent supportive messages to Tulip, Khawhom, BB and Namfon after our class today.
I encouraged my grade 10 students when they sulked after I gave them a more difficult option and then proceeded to do very well anyway, so I gave them positive feedback.
I helped supply a couple of forgetful students with pens this morning.
I helped Amy without complaint immediately after getting home. She had been sweeping up leaves and wanted me to finish off and throw them over the fence.
What deserves my energy and focus right now?
Now I’ve settled on Thaipod101 for my Thai studies and will stop with the other apps for now. I have a two-year subscription and must focus on pushing forward with it. I have the routine and habit in place and the belief that I can do it. So, this is not just ‘right now’ but it does start ‘right now’ and ‘right now’ every day!
I took this picture because I was thinking I should try to identify this dead snake that Amy found near our terrace. It was hard to say why it was dead. There were no obvious wounds except a little blood around its mouth.
This project is almost over, say your farewells and let me go. I’m tired of these waking hours, it’s time I slept. Don’t shed tears, it’s not failure but a circuit complete. I dream one day to be an eagle or a happy fat cat but now we must let it be.
You’re welcome to say a prayer but save it for yourself. Whisper it to your own ear and listen to that breath.
Today I’m feeling:
Well enough to exercise again but I’m coughing up lots of phlegm and although my throat isn’t too sore from coughing its giving me a headache.
I’m pretty tired after my first class and could easily sleep. At least I finish at 2.30 and can get home and relax for a while.
Today I’m grateful for:
My grade 8 class students slowly maturing, advancing their skills and understanding what I require of them. I’m starting to like them again, despite loving and loathing them!
The best thing about today was:
Finishing writing up two books to blog posts. Now there’s a bit of space in my bag again though there’s plenty more books to go yet.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My broken tooth is starting to get sensitive and its fricking painful to drink anything cold. My other dodgy teeth seem to also be coming out in sympathy pain too.
I go to the dentist in a couple of days but I don’t think that they will fix it there and then (unless they have a go at pulling it out, which maybe the best option in the end)
Something I learned today?
There’s a lot of volcanic activity in the world at the moment so it seems though perhaps it is just that I’m seeing more of that type of information presented to me. In the same manner it seems to be flooding everywhere that is usually a desert.
Our perceptions are so easily manipulated.
Hey, all is quiet down our street.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I tried to get over my dislike of one of my students by involving him in the class a little more and trying to be firm and consistent when he acts up.
In another class I supported a couple of the struggling readers with some one-on-one time and also tried to broker peace in a quarrel that they were having.
Amy ordered a new shoe rack which I duly put together with little complaint even though there were other things I wanted to do.
I believe there were no vile deeds today (as per most days now).
What are some of the sources of stress in my life right now?
Not having a visa currently us a little stressful, though in the process of getting sorted out.
The possibility of not getting paid next month is also stressful especially as I have a few things that require some extra cash, such as getting my teeth fixed again.
1994ever 