Tag: George

Straying – 24th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments
Pic: Jon Tyson

Cat wild
On the wall
One eye open
Preying
An ear to the wind
Poised and small
A sniff to the spraying

Fight or flight?
Movement slight
Straying
Back arched tall
Hissing
Saying

Get out of town
Or chased on down
Rolled up into a ball
No longer playing

Picture prompt for WDYS # 239

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good considering that I was dead to the world until my alarm went off this morning.  Managed some exercise and a 5-minute (what could possibly be described as a) meditation.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding that Sydney Swans played yesterday against the Bulldogs and so I watched the Mini Match and happy to report that we pulled through for another win.  The Swans are currently well clear at the top but there’s still a ways to go.

I’m still annoyed that I can’t watch the full matches, especially this year, as we’re doing so well!

The best thing about today was:

In my final class of the day with my grade 8s I have what you might call another ‘rogue’ student.  She, Sugus, is a friend of Aida’s and has been coming to my class occasionally since last year but now she seems to come all the time.

She’s a quiet kid and doesn’t cause any problems for me but I told her that if she wants to stay then she has to do some work, to which she agreed.

Today’s class is an easy reading class and I asked Sugus to come and read for me and she did very well, better than some of my actual students!

So I talked with her some more about why she doesn’t go to her own class and if the teacher isn’t concerned about her.  She couldn’t quite describe why she doesn’t go except that she feels bad when she does.

I’m a bit suspicious that something untoward might have happened but I didn’t push it.

Anyway, I told her that she was welcome to stay in my class and she thanked me and said that my class is fun for her.  I was quite pleased about that.

It’s weird really.  There’s no pressure on her to perform and there’s no pressure on me to teach her.  With us both relaxed about it I think she will learn a lot!

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

For my second class today, with the Hospitality grade 11s I suddenly found 12 extra students!  Without telling me, and without anyone telling them why they have put two different programs together so I’m now teaching students in the Japanese program too.  So much for my plans for this semester!  I guess I’ll jag everything in somehow.

Something I learned today?

Chatting with David he told me that George complained to Nancy that he doesn’t want to teach the new Integrated Program to the grade 10s and so, magically, he no longer is.  Now he only teaches grade 11 and 12.  What a princess!  

Last year he refused to teach grade 9 and now refuses grade 10.  Maybe time is running out for him.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

This evening I’m still helping my grade 11 students with their presentation homework and replying to their messages.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

As I think about it, much of the day was challenging (as described above) but somehow I seemed to take it in my stride.

Tonaor took this picture because as she likes to do sometimes when she sees me she says ‘selfie!’ and so I hand her my phone.

Down And Dirty – 16th May 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Romans once bathed here
Wiping blood from their beat brows
Spa after sparring
Solsbury Hill looks
Down River Avon Valley
Somerset steam rose
Conscious hearts beating
We ran through these stone warrens
Love in ancient times
Praying at the monastery
A different sacking was done

My first attempt at a Choka, inspired by The Skeptic’s Kaddish and submitted to dVerse’s Quadrille #201: Poems of Place

Fatman report

Today I’m feeling:

Good though a little nervous in the stomach. I think I have my head around how I’m going to do things in my classes. 

I can feel less enthusiasm in the air with everyone this morning as the reality of classes starts to hit.

I have a three-flight climb to my first class too and it was already an English summer 27 degrees at 7 am this morning.

One of the boy students was already smelling off by 9am!  And later in the day I saw David in his class of new grade 7s and the whole room stank of rank teenage sweat, like a changing room after five hours of football.

Today I’m grateful for:

Sometimes speaking up and sometimes keeping quiet.  I told the school that I didn’t want to teach the new Integrated Program until it was settled in and that I also didn’t want to teach the grade 9s this year and so it came to be.

So when I got new classes scattered around the school and more hours than the other teachers, I didn’t say anything and just accepted it.

My first class today was in a new (to me) building and on arrival I discovered that the internet cable and wifi don’t work which is a bit of a problem for the method that I teach, everything being stored on Google Drive.

I sent a message to Kru Mai that this was going to be a problem for the five classes I have in the building and he quickly scouted out other classrooms that I could use back in our usual building and voila – four out of five of the classes solved!

When I told Kru David about this he mentioned that sometimes it’s good to speak up and ask for some things and not just expect it.  He also mentioned that George was not happy that he has to teach the Integrated Program now.  He’s had it good for a long time but as soon as something is not to his taste he’s getting antsy.

The best thing about today was:

After my first two classes I managed to get back to House for a coffee refill and sat down to do some writing.

I noticed a pretty young lady studiously working on her iPad in the corner in amongst a lot of people coming and going – probably the busiest I’ve ever seen the cafe.  Some days I might be the only customer all the time I’m in there!

Later the lady got up and as she came to the counter, caught my eye and I thought I recognised her so gave a little smile and then when she smiled back I realised that it was Pear, who used to work there.  She has changed her style a lot but I could easily recognise her smile.

She was studying hard to pass a university entrance exam as she has taken a five-year gap year!  I could sense that she wanted to talk and indeed, she sat down and said that when it comes to English she could read and write easily but doesn’t have much opportunity for speaking.

Actually her listening and understanding is good too and when speaking she can find the words in her head most of the time but it is interrupting her flow.  I could feel that she is driving herself to improve so I stopped what I was doing and we chatted until it was time for me to go.

Something I learned today?

I learned bits and pieces about my new class of 41 grade 12 students.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

After I finished my classes I sent Pear a piece of text to practice reading for me so I could help her more with her speaking.  She replied quickly and I sent a couple more and I will help her when I have free time.

Did you do something difficult or challenging today?

Motivating tired sweaty students at the end of the day was a challenge and I have three days where classes end at 4.30 pm but it’s looking more likely that I will have to end them all at 4 pm most of the time, which is fine by me!

When was the last time I felt misunderstood?

I can clearly remember thinking that I was being misunderstood by Amy about something that we were quarrelling about but I seem to put quarrels out of my mind (whilst subconsciously learning the lesson of the argument!) so that now I’ve forgotten what it was even about!

The Retreat – 17th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Shacked up with a slacker
Who said our gold was in the hills
A guitar strapped to his back
To sing of other people’s thrills

The words are spat with bitterness
The war is raging in his head
But anger without direction
Is replaced by apathy instead

The party starts at home
With our disaffected friends
With the battle in our songs
Forgotten when it ends

Stirred into one final action
When the pipe of peace got broke
Understanding that our pain
Is only countered by the smoke

So it was, we came and went
We conquered nothing at all
We disappeared without a trace
Into the bottom of the bowl

Nearer heaven we rested heads
Too tired to take our chance
Extinguished, all those little fires
Where we no longer dance

inspired by ‘The Slacker’ in Zachary Mexico’s book China Underground

Today I’m feeling:

A little better again though still not quite right in the sinuses. Exercise got me going and I felt in a good mood for the whole day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The vegetarian food from Oasis and dessert snacks from the snack shop. Hopefully, there are snack boxes left over again tonight.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching my grade 10 class again. It’s a good feeling to have more mature students who try and want to understand more.

It did get me feeling a little like asking to spread out the classes between the foreign teachers so that not all the juniors are dumped on me and David. I know asking this is going to upset George though as he refuses to teach the younger ones, but it feels a little unfair not to split them more evenly.

I would be less tired at the end of the week and David is always talking of quitting because of the stress of his junior classes. I love those kids but I also value my health.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another day of going with the flow mostly.

Something I learned today?

As I teach my grade 10s about relationships I’m learning a little about each of them and their personalities. Toon told me she is a people pleaser whilst Milk doesn’t care if a boy is interested in her. They joked that between them they make a balanced human being.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave some leftover snacks from last night’s ceremony to some students this morning.

I drove Amy and me home and back to the city to pick up snack boxes and food for tonight’s ceremony.

I took this picture because Tokyo was pretty relaxed. I still have to be very careful with her though. She can bite really quickly and with no apparent provocation.

Untold Story – 7th October 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Your wisdom made you arrogant
Though smart enough to hide
Behind that handsome smile
Your true feelings kept inside

When the winner’s cup is presented
You’re humble in the glory
Just enough to disguise
Your secret untold story

A letter from future me (sent 7th April 2023)

Dear FutureMe,

Right now you are feeling so sad and down about life. One week ago today you took little Kim to the vet where they told you she would have to stay overnight. By the next day she was gone and on the following day you buried her next to the garage.

That first week without her has been hellish. With Amy away in Australia, herself suffering the sadness along with the inability to comfort each other, it feels like double emptiness. One little cat had made such a great impact on your own little life.

You try and fill the space with Cap and Tig but their own individual personalities don’t cut it. They have their own thing going on.

Along with all this is the terrible air pollution burning your eyes and giving you headaches. When you read this it will just be a memory and hopefully you are enjoying the clean fresh air at the end of rainy season and looking forward to winter. Don’t forget this though. This shitty air will come again. Be prepared.

As the ghosts of Hellcat still haunt you, slowly this pain will dampen and I hope that all you have now are the best memories of little Kim Chi and all the love she brought to you. Like all that you’ve lost in your life – mum, Steve, Kimi – they were special.

This is hard to write. I’m sitting here in Utopia feeling a little like not wanting to go home and be surrounded by the memories. It’s the holidays now and not wanting to go out into the foul air means staying home and subjecting myself to the constant reminders of that bright-eyed little one.

I hope you are feeling better mate.
Shaun from the past

Today I’m feeling:

Aching all over. Old muscles must’ve been activated yesterday. I slept well enough and woke up before my 8 am alarm but feel like today may need a nap to catch up fully.

I was dizzy drinking my coffee and have come home and got back into bed! I don’t feel sleepy, just tired.

Today I’m grateful for:

Yesterday! Despite my tired body, I feel great, especially after a two-hour top-up of sleep. Slowly I’m feeling (and seeing) the benefits of my exercise habit.

The best thing about today was:

I enjoyed playing guitar today and ended up playing for about an hour and a half. I didn’t do a whole lot of anything else much otherwise though. No exercise at all today. Give my body a chance to recover.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Around 2 pm I decided to go out to the shop next to Utopia to get my favourite dish, Lard Na, but when I got there the lady said she’d run out of the crispy noodles. She provided a solution in Thai that I didn’t understand but agreed to and waited with some trepidation. But I shouldn’t have worried because the thick rice noodles she used she had added an egg too which had gone crispy and tasty, all buried under the usual sauce, tofu and veggies I like.

Something I learned today?

I watched a couple more episodes of The Making of Apocalypse Now and understood more the parallels of the history, the movie’s story and the making of it. The crew went through their own kinds of hell to make it possible. Quite an impressive feat and one of my favourite movies.

What do I hope to achieve someday?

100? To wake up with no aches? Recognition, immortality, legend?

Complete 100% satisfaction and happiness?

I feel like I don’t have any real goals set to tick off any achievements and now I pass the mantle on to Hayden and my students. They have potentially more future ahead of them than I do and my hope is that they achieve some of their dreams and wishes.

I took this picture because this little buddy was pleased to see me again and quickly presented her belly for rubs.

Last Library Lost – 30th July 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 10 Comments

High on the dusty fumes
Amongst friends old and new
Above us, a high ceiling looms
And a door beckons us through

There are tiny beautiful things
Collected to devour
High above, a princess sings
With such emotional power

Such candies of peace and war
Looking for old times lost
Not knowing what to look for
Or worrying about the cost

Along creaky floorboards and stairs
The world can be travelled at home
There’s nothing else that compares
To reading in one’s own comfort alone

Cries for love in poetic rhyme
Tears for another’s book burning
Forever backwards travelling time
A whole world ready for learning

17th Jul 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge
25th Sep 2024 – Submitted to Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Poetic

Today I’m feeling:

Undecided. Still a little weary and the skies are dull and grey again though at least there is rain to make the pleasure of staying inside more appealing.

After lunch of Amy’s homemade lasagna, it’s difficult to stay awake and I thought I could play guitar but Amy has gone for a lay down so I’m struggling through. It seems to have gotten darker throughout the day somehow, the mountains drenched in dark most, as the farmer backs and forths through the watery paddy.

Today I’m grateful for:

The wind, our fans and the humidity. Despite it raining today and as it was forecast for the whole week I decided to wash my bedsheets, hang them on the terrace and shove the fan on them. Tonight I’m back in the big bedroom with clean sheets and another fan. Amy is out with Nut tonight and if she comes back late and drunk she can possibly not disturb me if I’m already sleeping.

Amy invited Bee to go with them but never got any reply before she left. Bee had commented on a photo that Amy shared of us all out at dinner, ‘miss you so much’ etc. but we know that she won’t be allowed out by herself by George.

Who knows, maybe she did get out in the end. But I doubt it.

The best thing about today was:

Watching Sydney hang on against the Bombers in the AFL. We have a slim shot of making finals still this year though to be honest we probably don’t deserve it.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Just as I’ve been sitting here writing this Cap came in and pissed on Amy’s bed. A big one, FFS! Just as everything was starting to smell nice… 

I took the wet sheets and pillow and dumped them outside on the terrace then soaked up as much pee as I could before throwing a bottle of baby powder over the whole bed.

Something I learned today?

My OG student Momo messaged me today asking me what question to ask someone to find out what kind of person they are? Cute! She’s switched to the Japanese program this year but from what I understand her pertaining to, she is online chatting with an Italian guy using English. 

Quite amazing how far we’ve come from pen pals writing letters every couple of months to just being able to immediately connect with someone face-to-face on the phone.

Momo is a very intelligent and cute girl. She can snag a handsome Italian!

What is my favourite photo of the past month?

Oddly, it’s this one. I took four photos of these flowers which hang on big trees. None of the pictures were good but I zoomed in and cut the picture down to just this and it has something about it. The image has stuck with me.

I took this picture because these pretty dragon fruit flowers only look good for a day but they are big and cake-like fluffy. Still no fruit.

Food Fight – 18th May 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A starving cycle, a luxury trap
The fight for food for generations
These are anxious times to live
Constantly making preparations
Adapted gut, adopted aches
Too late to repair our mistakes

Today I’m feeling:

Fairly positive and upbeat. I enjoyed being around the students this morning though still left at 10am as there was nothing specific for me to do. But everyone is in a fairly good and relaxed mood, teachers and students both.

Today I’m grateful for:

The second 20 baht shop I went to that had some cheap nasty leather gloves that I want to use to pull up the grass around the cactuses as the gardeners will just smash all the little hidden ones with the cutter. I don’t feel comfortable asking them to pull out the grass first even though that’s kinda what I’m paying them for. It’s a little annoying task I can do to help the cactuses grow and make me feel good. The gloves are badly made and uncomfortable on the pinky finger but they’ll stop me from getting spiked I hope!

The best thing about today was:

Pretty much everything was enjoyable today. I feel quite happy. I’m still a little guarded when I write that as I still feel that I have no right to be happy.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In our teacher’s room today we were introduced to Ren, a new university student teacher on placement. Kru Mai said he likes to cross-dress and cosplay. George started saying why do we get these strange or ugly student teachers and why not get some hotties instead and then Kru Mai talked about another one (female) starting this week that was cute. I bit my tongue and left.
I know it’s just gossipy shit talk but George is often saying things like that. I used to play along and I’m not averse to working with attractive people but it’s usually the weird and unattractive ones who have the best personalities and are more enjoyable to work with.
It’s not nice to complain about the lack of beauty in our co-workers and if it’s not sincere then it’s a bad joke.

Something I learned today?

I watched a short documentary about kids speed-cubing, solving Rubic cubes as quickly as possible. Not life-changing but a little interesting. I’m still more impressed by the young Chinese boy who solved 3 cubes whilst juggling them, in under six minutes. When I see crazy feats like that I wonder what more meaningful achievements lie ahead for people like that, or if they expended all their brain power on this inconsequential feat.

What is a decision I need to make?

I can’t decide what to write. Right now, it’s a decision about whether to read a little or just go to sleep.

I took these pictures because this is about as close as these decade-old companions ever get to each other. Still putting my Kim Chi love into these two so taking lots of pictures of them.

A letter to future Hayden (sent 18th May 2022)

Dear Future Hayden,

You just finished your work orientation and I just started back at school. We’re both moving forward with this next step and who knows where will be by the time we read this. It’s exciting.

I don’t know too much about the kind of work you will be doing but it does sound as if it will be rewarding and fulfilling, along with frustrating and difficult as all work can be. I hope you are enjoying it and getting back some of the good karma that you are putting out there. I don’t believe in karma as an external thing, in that it actually comes back to you from outside yourself. I think it is internal. Helping other people just makes you feel good and more positive about all the things going on around you. What do you think?

When we receive this letter it gives us chance to look back and reflect on the last 12 months. For better or worse, here we are.

Love
Dad

A.T.N.A. – 30th March 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Another 1000-page report got written
That should keep the people quiet
The hand that feeds gets bitten
Because without action, the people riot

Today I’m feeling:

No headaches but still itchy eyes. Medicine kept me up last night, even watching TV for an hour or so but I don’t feel too tired this morning perhaps invigorated by going to work which meant going to the cafe pretty much, where I put together another lesson.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the teachers in our department that work so hard for little pay and cover the work that we foreigners should be doing but end up not doing because everything is in Thai. We just pretend to do a little work but at the end of the day, everyone understands the farce.

The best thing about today was:

George actually greeted me first this morning and then talked a little about what he has been doing these last two days when I asked. I was quite surprised and even surprised myself at not being sarcastic in return! Anyway, I don’t know what is going on in his life. Maybe he’s lonely or bored or anything so I happily carried on being pleasant and accommodating.

I was also happy to get all my flashcards cut up. I just need to sort them now.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Little Kim threw up her food. I think it was from last night. It seemed like she only ate a little this morning and now she’s back in the walk-in resting. She drank a little but didn’t eat and her body is starting to feel warmer again. She’s looking skinny and sad.

I’ll take her to the vet again in the morning.

Something I learned today?

I learned 8 benefits of drinking lemon water every day. I always have lemon water when I’m at House since I heard or read about it before, maybe even from watching the same video and forgotten since. Let’s see if I can remember…
1. Lowers cholesterol
2. Reduces liver fat
3. Gives vitamin C for immunity
4. Reduces some cancer risk
5. Helps you like be longer (probably)
6. And three more things!

I took this picture because this is the school cat Garfield and he was hanging around the front gate this morning. He’s always friendly though he did get annoyed with a little kid trying to rub him and bit his hand!

Almost – 7th February 2023

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

You became the master of money
And accumulated great wealth
Became a master of muscles
And maintaining physical health
But that final puzzle piece
Is still hidden as if by stealth
Couldn’t master your mind
Couldn’t master yourself

18th Apr 2024 – Submitted to Word of the Day Challenge

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and relaxed, waiting for the sun to drop so I can do some watering again. I’m hoping for an early rainy season again but I think this year may be long and dry, unfortunately.

Today I’m grateful for:

Manus at the post office for always being helpful and friendly and trying to help me remember the Thai word for ‘registered’.

The best thing about today was:

A long chat with Amy about different ideas and plans for the future.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I had just gotten on a roll with updating more blog entries when Fui came to House and we started talking. I’m never sure how long he will stay but I decided I had no hurry today and we ended up chatting for about 90 minutes. We often go over the same things but we learn a little more about each other each time. At points, I was keen to get back to what I was doing but I told myself to relax and enjoy this time.

Something I learned today?

You can buy a cock ring called the Tally Wacker that counts your thrusts when fucking. I’m not sure if it syncs with your health devices but maybe 100 thrusts equals a calorie?

What is one lesson I am learning right now?

We’ll have to generalise ‘right now’ a little because if taken literally all I’m learning is what I can remember from ‘around’ ‘right now’!

I’m learning a little how to relax and even be bored again. This week involves a lot of TV and reading, playing guitar and listening to music. Much like many other weeks but interspersed with even less teaching than usual.

It’s taken me a long time to learn to relax and in the back of my mind, I’m confident that when the time comes necessary I will be able to get right back on my game again.

I took this picture because I wanted a different angle to look at the garden. I like this mini bamboo plant that apparently cats like to eat. Not sure ours ever do though. The leafless frangipani has more focus than the other trees near it which are also now losing their leaves. The frangipanis are just starting to show leaves sprouting through now. You can also spy the tops of some of our cacti too.

Letter to future me (sent 7th Feb 2022)

Dear FutureMe,

It’s the 7th of February 2022 and I’m sitting in the cafe, Le Paradis, next door to CRPAO, where I am currently an English teacher. It’s scout week and us farang teachers have nothing to do for this whole week. I’ve decided to clock in, show my face and go home again unless anyone wants me to do anything.

I’m feeling pretty happy these days. Amy has been in Australia for a week now and has gotten herself a job already, which she will start in March, after travelling to Albury and Adelaide first to visit friends.

Tomorrow I will go to visit Bruno and Nut for dinner and on Sunday Aing and Now will come to stay for a few days, for Aing’s graduation ceremony. She will look around the area with the intention to start some sort of business here, which is great news. It will give us a local cat sitter that we can trust!

By the time you are reading this, it’s possible you are no longer working – that might even happen as early as the end of the semester in March. Whatever happens, it will be ok, though I’m enjoying having access to almost all my income for a change.

I am still thinking too much about George and the way he is treating me but I am slowly able to push it aside, made easier by just avoiding him at work. I don’t feel anything bad towards him. He obviously feels hurt by my actions towards him, which in my mind have been fairly minimal and understated. He seems to have a higher expectation and can’t deal with that not being met. At least that’s how see it, with the little that I managed to get out of him to try and find out his true feelings.

Everything I accuse him of, I can accuse myself. It doesn’t matter. We’re just not compatible but I don’t let that interfere with staying polite.

I have written many times about my ability to keep myself (my mind) occupied and I don’t easily succumb to loneliness. I would rather be alone than struggle to maintain a difficult friendship. Perhaps this is something that I will improve on in the future but I am happy with myself the way I am. Real, good friends will find their way to each other.

Do I want to tell you anything? Just keep going. You’ve done so well to get where you are now. This year is looking bright to me, right now, with so many possibilities. Some will happen, others will wait.
I’ll go and make some music.

PS – look at your blog for this day in the past, over the years. Do you notice anything?

FutureMe – take it easy.

The Dark Empath – 9th March 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

He understands me
Says the right words to care
He says he loves me
But hides something not to share
His true intentions
Are on cards held close to chest
He uses my feelings
To ensure he comes out best
He compliments me
Yet somehow his words feel fake
He always points out
My every little mistake
Always a people pleaser
To get everyone on his side
The power rises against me
I have nowhere left to hide
I meet his needs
Through his mental manipulation
And he walks away happy
From every situation
His use of guilt
Always bends toward his will
Once I am discarded
He’ll be doing it still
He uses humour
Everyone laughs at his jokes
But it’s me on the receiving end
Of his vicious little pokes
He whispers lies
In believable words of deceit
His crown never slips
He already has me beat
And it is no irony
I recognise myself in him
That’s how I spotted
The dark empath within

Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

Franz Kafka

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to not lie in this morning, get up and see a fierce red sun in the sky.

Log Din, Log Doubt – 21st February 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Getting stomped in the public arena
Armies gather on the new social media
No bloodied nose from anonymous egos
Just a bruised ego that nobody knows

Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real.

Sylvia Plath

Yesterday was another awesome day of relaxing, along with a little furniture rearrangement. As Amy had been talking more seriously about staying in Australia for longer and I have been struggling to get out to my room often, I decided to bring some things in from there, slowly bringing in bookshelves and books and moving the TV to make more space for my desk and computer, plus guitar and stereo.

After starting all that, when I talked with Amy later that evening, she suggested she may come back soon if the job in Sydney doesn’t work out! I tried to hide my amusement at these events and when we talk on video, I try to hide the changes for now.

I have been thinking and reading (by coincidence) about solitude and wondering about being lonely. In fact, I don’t feel lonely at all but wondering if I should be. I don’t want to forget how to be ‘normal’ with people, become some weird eccentric, although I think I am eccentric, I don’t think I’m weird at all. So. I’ve read some articles about solitdue and the benefits of it. It’s another reason to make our home more about me while Amy is away. I like being able to access my books easily. I can’t bring my CDs in, unfortunately, but I will bring in a few at a time to listen. I want to spend a little more time actually listening to music again.

5th May 2026 – I would still like to find more time to listen to music. This has dropped off in favour of reading and writing mostly.

This Monday morning I woke up feeling good and positive and happily enjoyed my first class. I’m still teaching while everyone else seems to be slowing down already. I can’t stand watching the kids doing nothing constructive. I can relax the pace of my work but I still want my students to understand or learn the benefits of doing.

As I was leaving for coffee, Dylan and George were sitting outside Le Paradis, so I decided to join them, asking if it was ok first. George quickly made his exit and I had a quick word with Dylan about the way George is behaving. He said it seems that George doesn’t give people a second chance. Still, to me, that is something personal and doesn’t affect me – it’s still no reason to be rude. I warned Dylan that the same thing could happen to him but as he is leaving at the end of the semester anyway, he should be safe.

Dylan asked what we will do next semester when he is gone but I’m still worried that I won’t be recontracted and that George may have some input into that. He can influence TLC and the school to get rid of me if he wishes. Let’s see. Whatever happens, I’ll be fine.