Author: shaun tenzenmen

Australasian DIY music specialist and practising poet, amongst other things

*The Week That Was – 16th January 1984

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Record of the week: Confessions of Sin – Loose (Live)

16th January 1984
Pissing down today – difficult to have a fag in school. Made an omelette in H.E. Then made about 15 pancakes cos there was nothing else to do. Chatted to Paul. Final episode of The Prisoner is on tonight – bloody silly it was.

17th January 1984
Elfie got football off the roof. Just had some fun singing along to Social Distortion. Not a lot happened tonight. Not a lot happened today really. Got some ice cream. My mum made an appointment to get my hair cut on Thursday. Did get a letter from Zoe.

18th January 1984
Misfits have got a new LP out £7.50 called Earth AD. Faith have got a new LP as well called Subject To Change. Don’t know whether to stay and watch Butcher or go back to Paul’s on Saturday. Andy reckons it’s being filmed. Nothing else much.

19th January 1984
Got caught being with smokers today. Walked down to Wimborne and got me haircut after school. Mum picked me up after talking to Gibby at parents’ evening – usual shit. Good art lesson today – didn’t do much.

20th January 1984
Another good art lesson today – painted T-shirt. Good H.E. lesson as well. Just rung Andy but he’s not in so I’ll ring tomorrow. Looking forward to gig tomorrow.

21st January 1984
Went down with Jez, Rupert and Kristian to Bournemouth. Found Andy. Did this and that. Went to Dave’s (Self Abuse) – help shift gear in. Me and Dave Parsons and Rut were dancing to Idiom Tribe. Then came Confessions Of Sin who were absolutely fucking amazing. Then came Self Abuse who were ace. Then Butcher (who no one danced to). Was going to go to the Mad Are Sane party but stayed at this kid’s but 3 to a room. Went to sleep at 5.

22nd January 1984
Got up at 9. Had breakfast in Fortes (?). I went up to Triangle. Had to wait one hour for a bus. Got back, met Hayley, Ajax etc. Told them about a good video so they got it and we went to Sharon’s (Fear No Evil) it was fuckin’ ace. Went up to Simon’s. Baldy was there. Smoked some pot and came back smelling bad.

Chew Your Brains – 13th January 1984

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A picture of you
In front of my eyes
Blinding me with lies

A picture, hundreds of them
Screaming at me
Sending me insane, I can’t see

Been down for years, that’s all I know
Just keep thinking
But I got nothing to show

The last time I was walking tall
I was jumping from a bridge
Was saved by a man
Who put out his hand
Then he went away, left me alone

I felt alone, I felt all alone
I needed him, I wanted a friend
Just one friend to show me home

Scars, scarred
Buring like salt on a slug
Pains in my head, fucking my broken body
Sieving through my distorted logic
Gimme that knife, screw your life
What about mine? It means nothing to you
You’re doing fine

Last time I smiled was in a Halloween mask
A false face that no one looks past

Seeing only what they want you to see
Being only what they want you to be
Seeing only what they’re told to see
Being only what they’re told to be

If only they could see through me
I’m not as false as they believe
But things ain’t what they seem
Especially with your eyes closed

Open your fucking head
It’s your knife, it’s your life
But I’ll be the one who ends up dead

I was conceived at the wrong time, wrong place
It’s too late now, I’ve seen my face
All your knowledge gone to waste
On the septic tank behind my face

You call them brains
But they’re used like drains
For your filth, your scum
Your perverted waste
Your putrid odour is all I taste, all I taste

With the lips that spoke three words
I hate you or I love you
Means the same to me in your language

Cos your language is mine
Your thoughts are mine
Your mind is mine (My mind is yours)
Your body is mine (My body is yours)
Your soul is mine (My soul is yours)
You are me

So I’m gonna chew your brains
When you chew mine

Totally inspired by Henry Rollins stream of consciousness ranting on Armageddon Man by Black Flag

Rat – 10th January 1984

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Nibbling ears, chewing cheeks
I’m a rat destroying the weak
The lazy old men in rocking chairs
Some in their coffins after I’ve nibbled their hair
I am the rat eating the rich
I’m not fussy about what or which
Try to catch me but I won’t be caught
Not in the rat traps you have bought
You’ll never catch me whatever you do
Don’t bother trying or I’ll destroy you

22nd May 2023 – Never let the syllable count get in the way of what wants to be said!

*The Week That Was – 9th January 1984

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Record of the week: Youth Brigade – Sound and Fury

9th January 1984
Did virtually next to nothing. Managed some maths homework. Not looking forward to tomorrow much as we’re starting school again. Reading and playing darts mainly.

10th January 1984
School again. Went to Wimborne at 7. Got some fags. Went to Simon’s – no one there. Saw Thoms. Met Jim and Ches at Ches’s place. His grandad didn’t like the look of me. Went to Safeways and talked. Lee came along. Dynamo packed in so had to ride back home with no lights getting off every time a car came along. Got back at 10.20.

11th January 1984
School was pretty naff today. Had it’s good points I suppose. Justin said we can’t practice at the place Simon said cos it’s booked up again. Maybe at Herbert Carter or round here somewhere. I couldn’t get hold of Paul about 21st gig. Andy trying to get a coach to Taunton for the Subhumans Feb 4th.

12th January 1984
Thinking about someone called Liz Jameson (?). Me and Vince scrounged another 41p today – spending all our money tomorrow.
Just had a disconcerting call from Paul about Andy. Apparently he reckons I can’t sing and is saying things behind my back. Paul isn’t doing Damaged with him anymore. He’s starting another and wants me to help.

13th January 1984
Not much happened today. Relieved there’s no school tomorrow. Me and Vince spent our money. I’ve got to save as much as possible for 21st. Cat’s pissing around in here at the moment. No practice Sunday. Getting Youth Brigade tomorrow.

14th January 1984
Played football against Purbeck – drew 2-2. Had a laugh on the coach. Went to Poole and got pretty bored. Saw Rupert. Bought the Youth Brigade LP – fuckin’ brilliant. Finishing crucifixion painting. Not a lot else happening at the moment.

15th January 1984
Sharon, Mungo and Kim came up and wanted me to go round to see them – piss off. Woke up 12.30. Had a bath. Played Youth Brigade LP. Trying to get both tape recorders to record but they won’t. Good film on tonight – The Carey Treatment, 2nd part of Battlestar Galactica with Satan in it.

Was actually named Lucifer and no doubt a bad guy but not particularly connected with any religious image.

An Eye For An Eye – 6th January 1984

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This is one the bible got wrong
If there wasn’t a bible I couldn’t write this song
If there were no lies, if there were no rules
If there were no politics, if there were no schools
The world would be bliss and I would shut up
An eye for an eye – we’re all gonna die

21st May 2023 – Is ‘an eye for an eye’ from the bible? I thought it was but I was reading Sapiens by Yuval Noah Hariri yesterday where he mentions Hammurabi and the laws of the time (1770 BC or thereabouts) and I guess they were parts of societal rules of the time that were passed on down.
Is ‘an eye for an eye’ good? Things have obviously changed over time so which is right?

*The Week That Was – 2nd January 1984

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Records of the week: Violators – Live Fast Die Young, Red Alert – We’ve Got The Power, Plastmatics – New Hope For The Wretched

2nd January 1984
Group meeting at Justin’s – everyone got on alright I think. Me and Baldie had to get bus back to Wimborne cos Simon didn’t know he was supposed to take me back. It’s pissing down at the moment. Waiting for something exciting to happen.

30th Apr 2023 – Baldie was Gareth Balderson. I’d forgotten that he was in Simon’s year at school and a friend of his. In a few year’s time, he would be someone I would score hash off and he introduced me to the wonders of listening to Gong whilst stoned. Simon Bradbury was a couple of years older than Justin and me and was a loveable skinhead despite looking mean but I guess that is part of their fashion.

3rd January 1984
Cat’s feeling a bit lonely at the moment. I think I’ll cheer him up later. Grange Hill has started again. Been reading most of the day. Midnight Cowboy is on tonight. We’re in the middle of a power cut at the moment. I’ve just finished reading The Dark as well – ironic. Started Time Enough For Love.

4th January 1984
Apparently the cat has had an accident – he’s got a bad tail. Cat’s been looking pretty bad all day. Just finishing letter to Zoe at the mo’. Something happened today but I can’t remember what. Should have a practice on Sunday.

5th January 1984
There’s not a lot happening at the moment. I’m about to watch CHiPs. Justin doesn’t seem to know about a practice but wants everyone to come over. Andy wants to practice but wants to see the Subhumans on Saturday night in Andover. I might go with him.

6th January 1984
Got a new mattress today – thank god. Justin reckons there is no practice so it looks like it’ll have to be next Sunday. Should be able to go and see Subhumans now it Andy’s going. Not a lot else has been happening (as last Friday)

7th January 1984
Went to Poole in the afternoon again. Met Simon and Justin – had a laugh. Got back and found out Andy had called about the Subhumans. So, I couldn’t go. Found out there’s a gig on the 21st. Youth Brigade LP has come but didn’t buy it. Rosemary’s Baby and Don’t Go To Sleep were on – good.

8th January 1984
Got up 12. Reading most of the time. Went out and climbed trees. The Goodies was on. Andy called and said sorry but it wasn’t any good according to him. Been playing darts as well. Getting bored watching James Bond at the moment.

*End Of Year List 1983 – 31st December 1983

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Singles of 83
Conflict – To A Nation Of Animal Lovers
Conflict – The Serenade Is Dead

All-Time Single
Theatre of Hate – Legion/Original Sin

LPs of 83
MDC – Millions of Dead Cops
VA – Son of Oi!
Kraut – An Adjustment To Society
Black Flag – Everything Went Black
VA – Rat Music For Rat People

All-Time LP
Black Flag – Damaged

Tracks of 83
MDC – American Achievements
Newtown Neurotics/Attila – Mindless Violence/Andy’s A Corporatist
Red Alert – Industrial Slide
Social Distortion – Moral Threat
Conflict – Berkshire Cunt

All-Time Track
Theatre of Hate – Legion

Gigs of 83
Subhumans/Self Abuse/Parasites – 11th June
Endangered Species/Paradox – 12th June
Butcher/Confessions of Sin/Admass/Shock To The System/Self Abuse – 18th June
Cult Maniax/Screaming Dead/Butcher/Self Abuse – 26th Nov

Horror Nasty – 28th December 1983

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Don’t wanna watch The Sound of Music
Cos real horror makes me sick

Living zombies of blood and gore
A schizophrenic rotten to the core
Coming after you with a Texas chainsaw
All the kids shout ‘We want more’

A mad axe killer on your TV
A family film for all to see
His guts squirming from his belly
Falling out like fresh set jelly

Oh no they’ve raided the local shop
They’ve put our fetish to a stop
There’s no place that ain’t had the chop
No more films! Over the top!

I need to see blood so I walk the street
Hammer raised ready for someone to beat
Poke out their eyes and cut off their feet
This horror nasty is really neat

Don’t wanna do the sounds of music
Cos real horror makes me sick

Nasty – 27th December 1983

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Killer bee stings me
Rash comes up very nasty
Going to town but I’m going crazy
Sit back and die, too lazy
Nasty me, lazy crazy

20th May 2023 – I’ve only ever been stung by bees one time as I was walking off the paths in the woods at the common near home. I knew almost every inch of the woods, paths, bracken and streams. I didn’t notice these bees though and I don’t know if I did anything to upset them without knowing but I suddenly noticed them buzzing around and then felt two stings on my arms under my shirt which I immediately ripped off. My white school shirt. Why do I remember that detail? Anyway, it wasn’t a pleasant experience and possibly inspired this poem. I’ve since been bitten and stung by a host of other nasties but no more bees or wasps so far.

*The Week That Was – 26th December 1983

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Records of the week: Minor Threat – Out of Step, MDC – Multi Death Corporations, Social Distortion – Mommy’s Little Monster

26th December 1983
Woke up 8 – Couldn’t sleep. Feeling terrible – bad gut. Watching Bugs Bunny at the moment. Going to Lorna’s soon. Nice relaxing day. Sharon, Ken, Mungo and Kim were there as well. Got slightly tipsy – so to speak.

27th December 1983
Woke up 9. Listening to Minor Threat and Social Distortion – not done much really. Got a box to put my LPs in. Been thinking mostly – about this and that. Finished reading The Fog – good.

28th December 1983
Carrie’s on tonight. Met Muz down at Gaunts – bought some fags. Not been doing much again. Reading my Naff Guide. Eddie Waring is ill. Rupert and Sue came over – they gave me some talc.

Eddie Waring

29th December 1983
Went to Poole with Mum. Can’t go to see Zoe – no busses. Got photocopying of the group done. Bought 3 books – Psychlone, The Satanist and Time Enough For Love. Zoe called – had to explain I couldn’t see her. Anarchy in the UK isn’t No. 1 in the Festive 50. (Blue Monday). Started reading The Dark.

30th December 1983
Not much happening today. Watching Battlestar Galactica at the moment. Got a pair of slippers – at last. Trying to arrange meeting – should be on Monday at Justin’s. Cat’s here at the moment. There’s nothing else to fill this space up.

31st December 1983
Went in the afternoon to Poole. Put another £2 on the Youth Brigade LP. Saw the Frantix EP £2.49. Doesn’t look much but it’s probably good. Got a bottle of Merrydown which I’m slurping now. Theatre of Blood is on tonight – it’s good.

1st January 1984
Cat slept with me last night. I got a bit drunk last night. Woke up at 12 again. Went out on the common for a laugh. Was reading most of the day. Not a lot else happened. Had a game of poker with Mum, Granny and Grandad.