All We Have – 21st October 2022

A coin to gain entry
A seat for the sunset, sir?
Do not trust the dawn
For it may never occur
Take your pick of the tables
Or perhaps up there in the tree?
The smartest trick the Devil
Sold to you that which is free

inspired by a passage from Titus Alone by Mervyn Peake


We say that at home, we can ‘be ourselves.’ Everywhere else, we are someone else.

Matthew Desmond

Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy finding a new place to move to already, just 2 days after finding out she would have to move. One of her housemates was crying that Amy will leave so soon. That is the effect Amy has on people. I’m so lucky she is part of my life.
The best thing about today was:
Reading comics and finding more to read. I’m trying to catch up on 2000AD and Judge Dredd and after about 5 years (maybe more) I’m still only up to 1995! Can this be considered a long-term goal?
Sometimes, when I’m high I consider how trivial, inconsequential and boring the things I’m interested in are! Then I think that I’m not alone. Almost everyone’s interests these days are insubstantial and niche. It makes it hard to get enthusiastic apart promoting music through tenzenmen sometimes. Sometimes it feels like me and three other people really dig something and I don’t have the energy to try and break through to others who have their own particular niche interests.
If you had a freeway billboard, what would it say?
I would take it down. What a blight!
I would sell it for advertising. What is one more ad in the scheme of things?
I would have it display a new positive quote every day.
I would paint it the same colour as what is behind it.

I took this picture because I went on a little bike ride past Hacienda where there used to be a rubbish-burning collection point. It’s gone now and the land is slowly being dug out to fill in reclaimed rice fields for new buildings. This clump of bamboo sits atop a last piece of the old land and will soon be gone too. I found a track opposite that wasn’t marked on the map but when I switched to satellite view was clearly a proper dirt road at one point though now it was covered with grass again. I ponder about contacting Google to send me a camera so they can update their maps but the only person who benefits from this would be me. All the locals already know these tracks and paths and it’s only stupid me that goes off exploring and getting fucked up by google maps leading me into rivers or walls.

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