Author: shaun tenzenmen
Australasian DIY music specialist and practising poet, amongst other things
Chains – 18th September 2001
Big chains cover me
Bind me to the ground
Wrapped up inside myself
Unaware of all around
Heavy weights labour me
Tapping without sound
Scratching in the dark
I’m waiting to be found
The Age Of Melancholy – 15th September 2001
It is reason lost
A light diminished
Words evaporated
All hope expired
Where did it come from?
Why is it here now, stronger?
Growing each day
Overtaking our existence
Look Brightly – 12th September 2001
Like soldiers, youth marches on
Some victories, some defeats
This life is a grand war
Drummed to many different beats
So look brightly to your future
Your days may end with this one
Don’t fear the many distractions
One day, they too, will be gone
What’s In There? – 6th September 2001
I see her sometimes lost
Unclear, wandering, isolated
Searching for something far away
Blind to solutions near
Sometimes forceful and defiant
Determination found then forgotten
Slowly slips away and meanders
Back to new avenues for exploration
What’s in that head of yours
That pulls you apart so deeply
And stops you from finding
The light so obvious inside?
18th Oct 2024 – Written about Lorraine, an attractive co-worker who I pursued, eventually becoming on-again, off-again partners. I saw a kindred spirit of someone with mental health issues.
So Long… – 14th August 2001
So long since I held you
Now I feel you again
Gentle in my hands
My very favourite pen
What words we’ve missed
In all that time
What memories lost
In my lazy mind
Will you come forth again?
Keep my juices flowing
How long this desire burns
I’ve no way of knowing
18th Oct 2024 – After a crazy four years of living life, rather than writing about it, I found myself returning to the comfort and safety of pen and paper.
Closing Scene – 13th August 2001
It must be the end if all the zombies are dead
They kiss, the sun sets, nothing else is said
*Huanghuacheng – 5th May 2001
I’m stuck here and I know it (Shenzhen) – 1st May 2001
Labor Day Holiday. I thought there was people everywhere before but now it’s even worse. I can’t help laughing at all the people who stare!! So far, this trip seems like a series of little adventures – perhaps little adventures are what makes up a life and when you stop having those adventures you stop living. My life should only be adventure. I want to live. This is a beautiful temple – but spoilt by crass commercialism. I would like to find somewhere peaceful and tranquil – this place has tacky shops selling junk. And popcorn – I can’t believe it! One woman’s eyes nearly popped out when she saw my tattoos….makes me laugh!
Just remember that every single person in this world is different. But all human.
Buddha House (Shenzhen) – 30th April 2001
Popcorn at the Buddha house
Everything for sale
Rubbish piles up mountain high
Incense blows away
There seems no peace
Outside this house
Can you find peace inside yourself
It’s hard for me to say
27th Aug 2021 – Vivian had a day off work and took me to a Buddhist temple, at least I presume it was Buddhist. I have no idea where it was or what it was called. Maybe the Hongfa Temple? We got a taxi there and it felt like the area was a little less developed at that time. From what I’ve since learned about these temples I’m guessing it was on a hill and facing the water. The temple was big and the incense smoke cloying but obviously what stood out most was the trash, both for sale and as rubbish piled in plain sight. I would come to understand this garbage phenomenon a little more into the trip. I also quickly learned the Chinese word for rubbish (垃圾) having to tell every walking talking hawker that I didn’t want to buy theirs! I was still quite a lot in culture curiosity mode, rather than culture shock. It was obvious to Vivian that I wasn’t interested in being her ticket out of China though I’m not sure if I told her directly.
Anyway, I decided it was time to arrange to leave Shenzhen and I asked Vivian to help me book a plane ticket. We went into the city, or somewhere suburban at least, and she took me into a hotel foyer. I thought this was a little odd but I was learning new things. In my closeted western experience, buying plane tickets was an officious affair carried out in expensive storefronts. Now here I was in a hotel foyer buying them from some guy set up at a table in the corner.
Strangely, again, Vivian decided she wanted to visit a friend near Beijing and booked us both on the same flight. Perhaps she also wanted to make sure I was set once we arrived there but it was a little surprising to me that she suddenly made this decision where before she wasn’t even sure if she had time to hang out in Shenzhen. In retrospect, I can understand it a little more.
pic: Ivan Herman (chosen as a representation, as I couldn’t find a modern picture that didn’t look like it was from a brochure)
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