“Everything that needs to be said has already been said. But, since no one was listening, everything must be said again.” – Andre Gide
Let them find the puddles
you pointed out —
what you call falling,
they call jumping.
Let them fly
to figure out fortunes.
Let them forget my name
and find their own.
Let me still be here
but let me let them go.
Shared with dVerse Poetics – Let them
Today’s Daily Stoic poem:
This was written in November regarding a specific incident involving a student. Something common among many of the students I teach is the lack of affection they have received in their short lifetimes, not knowing or understanding that they are missing it. Just a simple hug has made a big difference to many.
Today’s Daily Stoic poem:
Shared with Reena’s Xploration Challenge #413 and based on an interesting incident this week. The inappropriate title comes from a translation of the subject’s name.
The form is the Wayra: This short syllabic verse has 5 lines with a syllable count of 5/7/7/6/8. It is unrhymed and incorporates onomatopoeia within the verse.
Today’s Daily Stoic poem:
Submitted for an AllPoetry assignment on free verse.
The following is a letter from January 8th, 2024, delivered today from the past
Dear FutureMe,
It’s now 30 years since leaving the UK. Now it seems like it doesn’t make much difference. After ten years it was still quite a novelty and being in Australia was still filled with wild emotions. But since then it felt like the UK was no longer something I understood or was a part of.
Though I count Thailand as my home now it is still a little tenuous to stay here and if I leave here in the future it definitely won’t be back to the UK but most likely Australia (unless Amy and I end up somewhere else).
You didn’t write much about this at the time but Amy and her family are going through a typical Thai-style drama at the moment and I wonder if it is all settled by the time of receiving this letter.
Amy’s man-child useless brother and his girlfriend are due to get married. Whilst that should be a cause for celebration we can see that this is not anything to do with love but purely circumstance. When quizzed on his reasons for marriage her brother purely said it was because he was getting old. He said this in front of his bride-to-be.
And so why has she agreed to this?
Part of the condition of marriage is that Amy’s mum will pay off their debts with her newly acquired money from selling her apartments. She will also have to pay a dowry to the bride’s family. So the bride and her family do get some benefit from this arrangement. And what the future might bring for them, who knows?
She now lives in Chiang Rai whilst he is in Bangkok. They don’t talk about anything they are doing and they have no plans for the future. Everything looks like it is just a short-term plan to get out of debt.
Amy’s brother contributes nothing to their family and is selfish beyond belief except for his one or two friends who he treats to food and drink every time they meet. Essentially, he is buying their friendship. His mum and dad treat him like a prince, forgiving him for any wrong he commits.
He’s drunk every day and can’t even piss in the bowl. If he comes to our house again I will instruct him to go piss in the garden.
Amy is obviously upset at the treatment he receives in comparison to the way she is expected to behave. It is a stereotypical patriarchal behaviour that is perpetuated by her parents but not something Amy will stand for. But she also has to bide her time and play the game, so to speak, to make sure that she gets her fair share of inheritance in the future. Otherwise, he is likely to receive everything and even so, he might already end up pissing away the inheritance money before they even expire. We’ve seen it happen in other aunties’ families.
It surely is a frustrating situation though it doesn’t impact me directly at this stage. I just have to be supportive of Amy and listen to her troubles when she needs me.
It’s the start of another year and I’m not much into resolutions or planning for the year, just taking it as it comes. I’m still very happy with my place in the world on an individual basis and hope it can stay that way for the foreseeable future.
I hope this letter finds me still happy and content and maybe even a little wiser.
Take it easy
PastMe
Today I’m feeling:
A little better than last night, after a long sleep. I don’t think I even made it to 10pm.
The medicine I took seems to be helping my sore throat but it could also just be transforming into a runny nose and cough. I’ll try to stay positive and maybe that will fight off the viral demons.
I woke up during the night to pee and then took a while to get back to sleep as I was thinking about teaching verb tenses in class. Far out, brain! Calm yourself down!
At school, there was the opening ceremony for the Lead Youth Conference and there was a lot of messages flying around because the room wasn’t full and so even though I wasn’t invited I was told to rush upstairs to help fill the seats.
George and Kru Tang were the announcers and this role is perfect for George as it requires sounding sincere when it isn’t! He’s an expert at this. Job well done!
It did make me think about times when I was working in a corporate environment and we had big dos like this. Then, as I was younger, I just found it all boring. Now it’s still boring but fascinating in its facade.
Around midday, I was talking with David about nothing in particular when George walked around the corner on his way out. He gave a big smile to David and started a banal conversation, so as I was standing there, I looked George straight in the face but he wouldn’t give me any eye contact. He soon left, without a word to me.
This started off a conversation with David, where I finally told him all about what had happened between George and me in the past and he was pretty shocked.
David also told me about some behaviours that he noticed himself with George and that, knowing what I told him, confirmed his suspicions about his character.
Health:
Physical: 7
Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
The spare couple of hours at the end of the school day, which I used to fill up the car and buy some cheese at Makro before going back to sign out, though I ended up chatting with students past the sign-out time!
The best thing about today was:
Playing volleyball with the ‘naughty’ girls (Fah, Nicha, Namking, Tonaor) when I had an hour break between classes and wasn’t sure what to do during that time.
As we were playing, other students came and joined in, including some of the Japanese boys who are here for the conference.
I was surprised at myself at how good I felt when playing, after feeling less than stellar yesterday. My body is still feeling good about itself now that is evening.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Due to the conference this morning, most of my grade 12 class were absent. I knew this would happen and thought that I would just interview whoever was there about the topic that we are working on (sport).
At the class start time, there were no students at all and I stood chatting with David whilst waiting. Eventually, two students arrived so I thought perhaps more would come but the only others to come arrived about 15 minutes later and only came to the class room as they had nowhere else to go!
I told them it’s fine and that now that they were here, we could study. They all cried, ‘No – free time’, I said that if they stepped in the classroom, then we would have to study. Again, they cried ‘No’ and I laughed.
I think that in the end only 9 of the 46 students came and chilled in the classroom and I decided chatting with David was more interesting (as described above) and then some of the M3 students came to talk with us for about 20 minutes and by the end of all that the class time was finished anyway.
Chill, chill.
Something I learned today?
A boy in Baipad’s class was killed in a car crash two days ago. She told me that she had talked with him earlier that day. I think it made her feel numb as she didn’t really know what to say.
This morning, we talked about it a little bit and I asked her what she would say if it had happened to one of her friends sitting there with us. I told her that she had to prepare herself for this. She lost her father a few years ago, both her cats last year and now a classmate. It never stops!
Continuing the theme from Across The Room. Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions.
Today I’m feeling:
Not so good after a bad sleep due to all the spice from dinner. I skipped exercise for a little extra rest but this morning my stomach is still in a state of gurgling.
I’m also still not sure if I might be getting Amy’s flu. Without exercise, I couldn’t stand a cold shower this morning and today is my first jacket day of winter.
Around 9.30am, my stomach had settled and I could enjoy the rest of the day more. Still tired, though but at least don’t feel like any flu symptoms are developing.
Health:
Physical: 6
Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
The wooden scent blocks in the car that are slowly removing the smells of it once being Amy’s mum’s and slowly becoming mine.
The best thing about today was:
Listening to students explain their decisions about some English work I gave them about the Thai TV show Hormones.
I was surprised at a couple of students at how close-minded they were, whilst a couple of others were able to well articulate their thoughts.
I’ll try to find some other topics and questions like this.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
A couple of students in my last class were quite rude in their exclamations for the class to go faster so that they could leave early. I was firm with them the first time, threatened them the second and made fun of them the third time.
It was a bit annoying but maybe it was frustrating for them as they didn’t know how long the class was going to take, while I did and knew that they would have plenty of time.
Something I learned today?
A TikTok video taught me the significance of Chinese chopsticks, why they are the length they are and why one end is round and the other square.
Today I’m feeling:
Good again. I’m enjoying the feeling of being revitalised from my morning exercise. I woke up with a start this morning, though, which was good in that I wasn’t waking before my alarm like earlier this week.
For some reason, I was dreaming about opening a (?) for my student, Fah, and I also had an impression that I had been dreaming about an old workmate, Steve. I’m not sure why they were roaming around in my subconscious.
My first class was fun and straightforward but the two-hour break following it has made me tired and uninspired. I will teach the same lesson again soon to another class of the same grade but I’m doubting it will go as well. I may be doubting myself here rather than the students.
(After) Although the second class was a little more difficult to deal with, everyone at least submitted something to me, whilst some of my first class just left because they couldn’t answer the questions and weren’t interested in asking me for help.
Health:
Physical: 7
Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
My student, Spain, who filled me in on some classroom gossip from his perspective. He’s a year older than everyone else as he has some kind of quirky autism which held him back a year and whilst he struggles to interact in a ‘normal’ manner, he’s fairly bright and knowledgeable and today I discovered that he is particularly observant.
He told me how he sees everything that is going on, who is with who, when they come and go, lots and lots of details. It was interesting to talk with him but also tiring as I struggled to hear him through his face mask and the sudden twists and turns he makes in conversation.
The best thing about today was:
Buying a punnet of strawberries at the walking street and scoffing them all with coconut ice cream, yoghurt and mini-Toblerones in a big bowl. So much for all that exercise and trying to lose weight!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was not inspired to write after a provocative (to me) comment was posted on my poem, Christmas In Gaza, that I read this morning.
I’ve left the comment there without response but it essentially boils down to divisions through religion – ie, my god is better than yours. There’s no reasoning with this, so I’ll not engage.
Internally, though, the rage of hypocrisy burns so brightly. I need to let it go. It’s not my business what others choose to believe.
A few minutes after writing this, I started thinking about how things in general these days are about winning and losing and while some folks lose online arguments, others are losing their lives and the winners are rewriting their histories in some form or another. This triggered off a flow of words and I managed to get the bad feeling out.
Something I learned today?
Hong Kong is the only city in the world that uses seawater to flush its toilets.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
This morning, I encouraged Baipad to finish off a drawing she had started and when I messaged her this evening, asking her what the best thing about her day, it was that she had finished it.
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good, waking before my alarm again, though I did sleep earlier last night too. The BetterMe exercises are really getting me going in the morning, along with a cold start shower afterwards, meaning I step under the shower and turn on the tap to get about 15 seconds of cold water before it warms up.
It has finally gotten cold enough to not have aircon at night but I still have the fan on at the moment.
Health:
Physical: 8
Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Whoever makes the cookies that they sell at Le Paradis. I just have to control myself from buying them every day!
The best thing about today was:
My last class of the day with the grade 11 Hospitality students and J-Biz students. It was a light-hearted, fun class about Japanese culture, in keeping with the theme of the week.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I had to deduct points from more than half of my grade 8 students for not doing their work for me yesterday and it made me decide that I need to deal with them a little differently.
Today, I immediately graded all their work in front of the whole class. Not in a vindictive manner, but in a way that they can immediately see the outcome of what they do, or lack thereof.
Something I learned today?
I randomly came across an album online that had a picture of the artists on the cover and one was almost the spitting image of Hayden, from the facial hair to the cap and clothes. I sent him the picture and he laughed about it too.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Nomsen absent-mindedly left her iPad behind in the classroom, so I picked it up for her to keep safe. A few minutes later, she called me and I told her that I had sold it at the market for 10 baht.
She laughed and soon came back to get it, looking a little sheepish. She was appreciative of my taking care of her but also acknowledged that she had just had ten points deducted in SchoolBright due to her not doing any work for me yesterday.
Shared with dVerse Poetics: “Despite and Still“
Today I’m feeling:
Great, despite getting up a couple of times in the night, the second time with forty minutes before my alarm was due to go off. I contemplated just getting up but managed to get back into a light sleep before the alarm roused me again.
Day 2 of BetterMe exercise was tough as it was concentrating on arms, so involved different types of push-ups, which my weakling little arms and dodgy shoulder still struggle with.
At school, I wandered around talking with students at the different stalls for Japan Day and everyone was in a good mood. I particularly enjoyed watching my students submit the tasks that I assigned them instead of having a class. I got them counting to ten, taking cosplay photos and singing songs. Some students surprised me, though not the lazy ones who didn’t bother to submit anything.
Health:
Physical: 8
Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Free time. With no classes today, I spent a lot of time wandering around school and sitting in the cafe.
Eventually, I had had enough and decided to come home early with the idea of telling the school that I forgot to sign out when I left today.
Because of all the free time, I got to prepare a lot of my photocopies for my visa application, clear up the backlog of poetry to read and get back to the garage as they didn’t plug the reversing camera back in yesterday.
The best thing about today was:
Feeling on top of things in general. Not one thing stands out in particular today.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My lazy students bothered me a little bit today but only in that they made me work harder chasing them up throughout the day and evening.
Personally, their laziness is their choice and doesn’t actually affect me.
Something I learned today?
I am delighted to see that Nong Praew is super happy in her new school. I hope she does well there, where she seems to have some friends.
Inspired by part of the essay The Way of Writing by William Stafford
Today I’m feeling:
Fairly invigorated and cautiously happy. I have a little tiredness behind my eyes.
I subscribed to a BetterMe exercise program and started it this morning. It was pretty straightforward with some new exercises for me. When I arrived at school my body felt great from the workout I had given it. Sitting in the cafe before my first class, though, I can feel a sluggishness coming on. Hopefully, my first class pep me up again.
Health:
Physical: 8
Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
The BetterMe app.
A tip before subscribing: I searched for BetterMe promo codes and followed one of the links, which gave me a 50% discount. I then filled out the form required and submitted it, but didn’t respond to the email.
In the following 24 hours, I received a follow-up with a further incentive of 80% more discount. The price I am more than comfortable with.
I’m also going to figure out a way to save the workouts so I can continue using them after my subscription is completed – not forgetting to cancel it before being charged the full rate.
The best thing about today was:
I really enjoyed my quick afternoon grade 10 class where I turned the tables on them and asked them to make questions based in the text they saw on Monday.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
When I arrived at my grade 12 class this morning, they all cried that they wanted to go and help with things for Japan Day tomorrow.
I was also thinking about what I can ask my grade 8 students to do tomorrow, as they will definitely ask me to attend instead of studying.
So I figured to kill two birds with one stone and asked my grade 12 students to come up with ten tasks that I can ask the grade 8s to complete during the event.
They are smart enough and came up with them quickly and then went off to help. I went to the teacher’s room for a little while and when I came back to check on the room, all the students were there again, saying that there was nothing left for them to do!
I let them have free time rather than try to cram in some work for them.
Something I learned today?
I checked out the Bluesky app as it has been talked about as the new better Twitter but to me it just looked like a dumbed-down version of Substack, which I will stick with instead.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
It was Fah’s birthday today so I bought her a slice of cake.
1994ever 