Category: 2025

Vestige – 6th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Moulded out of mud, multiplied in mirrors
A simple rain may wash away our facades

Shared with Reena’s Xploration Challenge #361 – taking this couplet from Mirza Ghalib as inspiration

Whose crafty creation am I; the image implores –
Every image stands enrobed – but in paper robes

You can read more about it here.
Image courtesy of Web Urbanist highlighting Rob Mulholland‘s art installation Vestige.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good today which is kinda annoying. I wanted to feel this good during the holiday. Perhaps there’s some connection?

I skipped exercise this morning, easing myself back into the early starts. I’ll get up a little earlier tomorrow and get back to it. It was damn cold (and dark) this morning when I woke up.

It’s good to be back at school and around the kids again. They were all happy to be catching up with their friends.

Health:

Physical: 7 Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The two bananas that I took to school with me and ate before classes started. I bought some rice crackers later too and that was enough to keep my going through my busy Monday.

The best thing about today was:

The classes that I was a little worried about teaching today went well and students were in a surprisingly receptive mood.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another driver tried to run me off the road on the way home and I didn’t react well to it. Luckily there was no accident. They guy was hanging out of his window and looked a little amped up on meth!

I need to chill out too. It’s annoying to have to wait until the end of the day to leave because there is so much more traffic on the road at that time.

Something I learned today?

Ipswich drew 2-2 with Fulham and looked the better team for most of the game from the highlights that I saw. Not very important stuff in the big scheme of things though!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I let George wind me up again as I see him barely bothering to teach as he cut short his first class so that he could finish his grading files and then left his second class alone with no work whilst he was off doing something else for the school.

I know that I shouldn’t let it bother me….argh!

I chatted with Mike a little this afternoon. He will move from Primary to Mathayom next semester and he’s already looking forward to the relative freedom that this offers him. I advised him to not get too relaxed and to make sure that he is in class on time and teaches for the whole duration as much as possible.

A Long Hike – 5th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Take a long hike in nature
Turn your back on the chattering
Sit quietly amongst the ferns
Elevated above the clattering

A few miles above Tintern
In commune with Wordsworth
With our fellow romantics
Witnessing a rebirth

At the camping ground
Pack your boots and fleeces
Phone charged, and caffeinated
Collect all your bits and pieces

Shared amongst the absurd crowds
Authentic insight waits
Snapped up for memories
The hivemind contemplates

Inspired and paraphrased from the second part of Authenticity & Absurdity at Philosophy Now.
Where to go when everyone has run to the same place to relax?

Today I’m feeling:

Tired after being a little restless last night and Tigger wanting to be fed at 7 am.

I came out for coffee and decided to only have one cup today, to see if that helps me sleep better tonight.

I’m ploughing through my grading files this morning and I also have to figure out what lessons I will teach this coming week. Apart from that, I don’t have much else planned. More reading, more guitar.

Oh, and writing some interview questions for Barber Dead and Speech Odd.

(Later) I never got to writing any questions out yet but have been thinking about what to ask.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Having an appetite again, though my guts still seem to be adjusting a little bit. I feel like eating and eating!

The best thing about today was:

Getting all my grading completed today. Actually, it is only half completed because that is all that has been asked at this stage. Over the next couple of weeks, I will probably finish it all off as I don’t think there will be many changes in the outcomes for the students in the meantime.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got a missed call today and assumed it was from the optometrist, so I went there in the afternoon. The lady said that she had called to tell me that my glasses would arrive tomorrow and that was all that she was calling to tell me. No harm done, it’s less than five minutes ride from my house.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I took a small sketchbook to Baipad that I bought up in Doi Tung as it had a cartoon picture of Lahu and Akha people on it. She gave it to Namhom as she doesn’t have her own little book like this.

They were home alone but talking with their mum on a video call. I asked where her mum was and they didn’t know! I said, what if something happened and she didn’t come back and the police come and ask where she went and all you can say is ‘I don’t know!’

So we all found out that she is in Bangkok at the same time!

Image Distorts – 4th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Life as a painting
On this one-way street
‘Tween the real and fake
An authentic cheat

Ambiguous choice
Presented as truth
Will self-fulfilling
Prophecy produce

Compulsive searching
A society
Estranged itself from
It’s reality

Representation
Has replaced the real
A simulation
An authentic steal

Inspired and paraphrased from the first part of Authenticity & Absurdity at Philosophy Now

Today I’m feeling:

A little better than yesterday, though whatever is working its way through my guts is bothering my lower end now and I’m hoping that once it is out, I’m back to normal. A return of energy would be welcome too.

(Later) I ate a little lunch and wasn’t quite sure how my stomach was feeling about it but soon forgot about it and did some reading and then went to my room to play guitar whilst Hangie, Takky and Amy enjoyed plenty of wine and grilled foods.

By the time I came back in, though I thought that I was just hungry and so ate some yoghurt and muesli but that didn’t help and I started feeling nauseous again.

I thought I’d just go to bed and so I hopped into the shower when Amy said that she wanted more wine. Ok, that’s fine, we can stop somewhere and get some medicine on the way.

I’m now in bed, hoping that there’s no sudden rush to throw up and Amy is drinking and dancing whilst cleaning up after the 6-hour lunch.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

P’Da and her medicine shop. Khawtang was there too and told me that she had her exam for grade 10 today and that she thought that she did well. They both seemed really happy in general, which was good to see after all the drama that they’ve been through.

The best thing about today was:

Reading a few pages of the Suspect Device book and feeling inspired by it and asking Tony if he’d be interested in some interviews with Thai bands, which he was. So I got the ball rolling with that, sending messages out to Barber Dead and Speech Odd.

I took this picture as Piti was enjoying the sunshine streaming in the window.

Looking At Stuff – 3rd January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I didn’t see it until I took a look
There was no answer within this book
A revolution waiting with a solution
Let’s write it down so there’s no confusion!

Inspired by Existential Comics #572

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired and hungry but my mood is ok. Last night I threw up, perhaps from too much soda or maybe a little food poisoning, I’m not sure. I felt better as soon as I got it out, though I was a little drained.

I woke up during the night too. I guess that third coffee was really telling me not to be attempted again. My mind was racing between grading students and wishing that I could have grown up in San Diego so that I could have seen Trumans Water playing more often. Weird.

My lack of digested food saw me wake up to be under 80kg this morning for the first time in a while. My energy levels are dictating that I should eat more, though. I’m only half looking forward to early morning exercise again next week.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Nut bringing me breadsticks this morning just as my stomach was starting to feel bad again and we were due to go out. Munching on them helped a little bit, along with a bit of a walk and some cool mountain air.

The best thing about today was:

Walking around up at Doi Tung markets was nice despite my dodgy tummy, meaning I couldn’t enjoy much of the food and drink there.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As we went in Nut and Bruno’s car, I was relinquished of driving duties but also at first I was feeling queasy in the back and then later, in the front, I had to endure Bruno’s speed racing and complaining about slow traffic. I guess my dodgy guts helped take my mind off that a little.

Amy told me that we will never go on holiday with them anywhere, as Bruno is always so hyped up and on the move. It makes it difficult to just relax and enjoy the moment. He operates on a different level than most of us.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I swapped the mattresses in our bedrooms for Amy as she seems to sleep better on this one. Damn, though, our original mattresses are heavy and it took a lot out of me to move them.

Up until then, I wasn’t feeling too bad but then my body was looking to replace the used-up energy and found nothing there.

I took this picture at Doi Tung and sent it to Baipad, who is half Lahu. All the hill tribes are represented here, but it feels a little contrived.

This Is Awkward – 2nd January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Spending so long seeking the solution
The geniuses all come and go
Is the quest for knowledge just an illusion
When the answers’ children already know?

Inspired by Existential Comics #570

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again but still with a little dizziness. I got up at 6.30 am to get to the hospital by 7 and proceeded with my health checks, blood, poop and pee etc.

All reports were good except for something a little higher than normal connected with perhaps too much sugar/carb intake and they suggested a follow-up in three months.

I also booked a prostate exam and have a physio appointment later this month for my shoulder.

After that, I went off to immigration for my 90-day check, ate some lunch at Oasis, paid off my debt at Utopia and was back home by midday.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

All the hospital staff who helped me again and the nurses who hooked me up the EKG and were laughing at some private joke, possibly/probably, at my expense.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling like I was getting things done and there being lots of time.

Something I learned today?

My general health seems to be pretty good. Whilst it doesn’t explain all the aches, pains and dizziness I experience, at least they don’t point to anything serious.

Fifty-Two Little Thoughts – 1st January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 11 Comments

The following poems were inspired by the Outcast and Other Words anthology which I came across sometime in 2024. I decided to take all the prompts from that anthology and see what I could come up with myself.
17th Sep 2025 – Shared with dVerse – reflections

1: Outcast

Duck Face

We outcasted ourselves by dissemination
Of the minutiae of every spit and cough
Sharing feeble insights and useless opinion
Considering a duck face meme be enough


2: Unearth

Deeper

When dug down deep enough
Through all the muddied ground
A sense formed from nothing
Unexpectedly found profound


3: Imperfect

The Perfect Image

A studied mirror finds the flaws
The qualities hindered by thought
Image is only imagination
Subconsciously learned and taught


4: Destiny

Stopped Dead

A tragic victim of fate or led astray by odd notions?
Either way, ended up beneath the roiling oceans
Or frozen solid on a parade to the mountaintop
Life lived in safety has already come to a stop


5: Gratitude

Crawl

Sparky Attitude, an ungrateful iconoclast
Demolished her own feeble castle keeps
An arrogant empire would neither share nor last
To a lonely future she limps and creeps


6: Wild

Innate

A heart race
As the tiger leapt
Covering me with all its grace
In his eyes kept
All the wonder
Of his beauty
All the danger of his threat


7: Remedy

Good Little Boys and Girls

Crush the little kiddy bones
Grip their brains to squeeze
Make a million homo-clones
Purely bred to please

Break the little baby brain
Mould until compliant
Not an atom must remain
Of any trace defiant


8: Candour

Home, James

Hello Frank, I’m Earnest
Let’s work to fix this joint
Blunt, direct and candid
Let’s just get to the point


9: Accidental

The Place Of Knowing

Was it an accident or fate?
Did destiny set me straight?
I fell off the path while going
To the place of finally knowing


10: Mimic

Bovell Rock

Show me the mould, I wanna break it
It’s a lovealution and we’re gonna make it
Put me in a box and I’ll find an escape
That’s the revolution we’re trying to shape

Inspired by Dennis Bovell


11: Guardian

Hold On

Hold on tight to the hallelujahs
Death creeps in ditches along the way
No protection on the road to perdition
When the drunk comes out to play

Inspired by a young friend of a friend who was suddenly killed by a drunk driver


12: Indecision

Designer

Wishing and waiting?
Thoughts and prayers?
Thin ice skating
A toy on the stairs

Get busy designing
With purpose and pliers
Lifetime defining
Lighting the fires


13: Light

All The Wrongs

Why the darkness, why the night
Where all the wrongs are told as right?
The world around wasn’t forced to fight
Let’s take a step towards the light


14: Fear

The Unfolding

Always made meaning
As the moment slipped away
Slowly unfolding


15: Intricate

Mandelbrot

The politics of time create confusion
All blame is built on past illusion
A cobweb mandala of contrived deceit
The circle of power remains incomplete


16: Colours

True

Don’t be afraid of the rainbow
Black and white is never true
That’s why the world makes you crazy
And only seeing blue

When it’s all too much to bear
Is when it’s time for you to show
When the darkness makes you small
The truth will help you grow


17: Emptiness

Firestarter


Just need a little juice to fill up the whole
A tiny spark to get some action-shifting
A combustion of the heart that you stole
To restock the emptiness of your gifting


18: Performance

Exit Stage Left

Get it together, this is your show
Your audience awaits with bated breath
To follow your story as you grow
And the curtain closes with your death


19: Abundance

Gurfa

Who can catch all the falling figs
Ripened and ready for your dreams?
All the water in the palm of your hand
Is never enough it seems


20: Resting

Spike

I told you I was ill
Perhaps it’s for the best
I just lie here still
To enjoy my final rest


21: Day and Night

A Perfect Contradiction

Waking in the morning was as if nothing had changed
Except that everything in life had been rearranged
Walking again into the night the patterns are all the same
What it was and what it is now has a different name


22: Secret Doorways

Wizards

The Internet is a collective hallucination
Trap doors hide the rabbit holes
Spiralling further away from reality
Over the rainbow and beyond controls


23: Taste

A Distinct Lack Of

Once the sweetness of success sets in
A bitter pill is like ingesting sin
Lazy complacency soon turns sour
A spicy life now mundane and dour


24: Shadows

Colourless

Life stamps out the artist
Imagination overruled by data
Needing money for survival
Has us working harder not smarter


25: Fragment

The Creases

Taking a thought and pulling it apart
Taking a heart and smashing it to pieces
A fragment pleases, a misunderstood art
An origami part, following the creases


26: Wishes

My Honest Pitch

Everything’s an ad, even the news
Propaganda spun to get more views
Everything’s and ad so here’s my pitch
Subscribe now if you want to get rich

27: Circle

The Newest Apocalypse

Fighting for breath, caught in the undertow,
Unplug from the drama, go with the flow
Another story that no one else needs to know
An ever-decreasing circle ready to be let go

Title taken from and poem inspired by The Stoa Letter email


28: Life

Guru Free

For life, always in search of a cure
But what is good is easy to get!
What is terrible, easy to endure!
Death hasn’t come for us yet

For a thousand years, this advice, free
Now sold by gurus for a mighty fee


29: Moonstruck, Ragtag & Wanderlust

My Three Sons

Such useless boys, always dreaming
Their twinkling eyes always gleaming
Awaiting their return, to see them again
Left as boys yet returned as men


30: Journey

Eulogy

Chuck me in the cheapest casket
Feed my flesh to the flames
Waste no time with weeping
Rejoice your reality remains


31: Nostalgia

The Cleaner

Without explanation let’s concoct a story
A dry tale to give the past some meaning
Wrap an old coat around to comfort
When these memories need spring cleaning


32: Reflection

The Weight Of A Seed

With the weight of a seed

Arrogance kept in his heart
His majestic glow darkens
His character torn apart

No matter his benevolence

The righteousness of his deeds
To hell, he will banished
For satisfying his own needs


33: Time

Sand

Time
Fourth dimension
Moments in trust
Let them all go
Infinite


34: Christmas

No Christmas

It’s a minority holiday
Needles drop from the old pine tree
Whatever Santa may say
Each year less present to see

It’s another year of pain
The glitter and glamour have faded
Each time coming around again
Until successfully evaded

To celebrate your own existence
Needs no manger of lights
Defy peer pressure insistence
There are no wrongs and rights


35: End of Year

Getting There

You’ll always have a seat
If you bring your own chair
Losing isn’t always beat
But shows you’re getting there


36: Begin

From The Off

If you want a happy ending
The peak that offers reward
Navigate the discomforts
The form found unexplored


37: Misgivings

The Fold

All my thinking folds in on itself*
To stand proud, solid and silent as the tree
A summer showing of greenest health
Conceals the winter dark inside of me

*https://tinyhearts.uk/2024/09/16/mowing/


38: Boundary

I Am Better

I didn’t bring a gun to a knife fight
I’ll not flash cash in a parade of wealth
I’m no better than you and no more right
I am only better than my past self


39: Delicious, Distasteful & Dimension

Moderation

A weekly wine goes down delicious
But any more would be distasteful
Visiting the drunken dimension
Throws up, to be overly wasteful


40: Afternoon Tea

The Puppet

The jar and jerk to the puppet
Are you in control of your action?
Cause yourself some calm
Sip from the cup of satisfaction


41: Weather

The Flood

Despite all our human progress
Streets ran with rivers of browny slime
Rising ever higher as if to impress
The power of nature not tempered by time


42: Revelation

The Four Divergents

Are we are righteous, acting out a virtue?
Or is there no other choice, no better outcome?
Or do we accept that this is the way of the world?
Or is this just a habit, the way we have become?

Which narrative will we use today
For each decision that comes into play?


43: Heartbeat

Flatline

There’s no time to stop, even to live
Pushed to the limit, something’s got to give
Pumping ugly muscle, pulse under pressure
Once busted it stays broken forever


44: Fallen

Stuck In Motion

If I wasn’t sitting down when the spin hit
The swirling vortex afore me would soon see me sat
Cartoon birds circle my head where I sit
Stuck in a motion that keeps me where I’m at


45: Spring

Poppy Theatre

From twisted dirt and tortured mud
Became the little field that could
Sprung the soft after the harden
The poppied theatre become the garden


46: Patience

The Wind Up

I wouldn’t wish me on anyone
Your patience put to the test
I’m in perpetual motion
You’ll never have chance to rest


47: Vibrant

Skipping School

A flourishing joy around a rope jump
Lush youth laughing and chasing
Hustle and bustle, the mad thrills pump
Energetic thoughts set hearts a-racing

Spirited shouts and sudden screaming
It’s an unharmonious harmonious noise
Fresh-faced fancies of everyday dreaming
Amongst the funky fires of the girls and boys


48: Glimpse

The Catch

We’re chasing rainbows in a clown car*
With common sense in the rearview mirror
Whilst catching a glimpse of the future
Where everything will become less clearer


49: Fortitude, Resolute & Epiphany

My Three Daughters

With my love, my daughters will grow up strong
With the wealth of the oil from the olive trees
They will rise from the ashes to where they belong
To return to their home from the river to the seas


50: Evergreen

Desire

To be rich does not require
Further addition to your stacks
When the removal of desire
Is easily the simplest tax


51: Raindrops

A Tiny Flood

Alone I cannot carry Noah
Sun soon evaporates my form
Together our mighty arms destructive
Hear the roar of our oncoming storm

Dissolved into the terrible power
Lost in the crowd of the ocean
Until it’s my time to rise again
A never-ending circular motion


52: Emergence

Ideas That Don’t Exist

You don’t exist yet
No form but aspiring
Struggle to germinate
To break the seed skin
A sprout to be set
New growth inspiring
Hollow bricks gestate
A weapon within

Today I’m feeling:

Fairly good. I got up early and out for coffee whilst also doing some reading and writing.

Amy turned up more … morning with a carrot cake that she made as a gift. Whilst there, she talked with Baew, who had stayed at Noy’s house last night and had already started drinking again!

I dropped Amy there so she could drink and talk more with her friends, picking her up again in the early evening.

During that time, I mostly just read, starting the Suspect Device book and the first story in the Marvel reading order. The first of thousands of Marvel comics! I also enjoyed Jodorowsky’s The Incal, too.

Early to bed tonight, with reading, as I head to the hospital at 7 am.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Some quiet time at home, just me and a book.

The best thing about today was:

Writing a new poem that I was happy with. I haven’t been writing quite as much recently but seem to be able to click back into it easily enough.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

One of our cats peed on the sofa last night and whiffs from it sometimes took my breath away as I was reading. Bleurgh! I’ll have to sort it out tomorrow, taking off the covers and washing them, spraying loads of deodoriser too.

Something I learned today?

Miyor, Nudee and Satang posted a story of them drinking beer last night. Naughty! I wrote to Miyor but just laughed about it.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I wished Anchan a better year ahead.

Kill Your Kids – 6th July 1987

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Hate your family, middle aged man
Wanna get out, yeah, family man
Can’t take the pressure, about to explode
Take your gun and start to load

Kill your kids, daughter and son
You wanted to live fast and die young
Now it’s too late, so take revenge
Can’t stand to hear them again

Take a pick axe to their heads
Tie them up in their beds
Cut their limbs off one by one
Now you’re starting to have some fun

Down the pub, have a few beers
In your pocket, your daughter’s ears
Leave your wife to clear the mess
But you know she’s the next

Kill your kids and your wife
You just want the happy life
Free from screams and bad dreams
Not falling apart at the seams

“Man convicted for killing his family
Judge has sympathy
Four kids of his own
Driving him crazy
Two years with good behaviour”

Next day
Thousands of dead children