I’m stuck here and I know it (Shenzhen) – 1st May 2001

Labor Day Holiday. I thought there was people everywhere before but now it’s even worse. I can’t help laughing at all the people who stare!! So far, this trip seems like a series of little adventures – perhaps little adventures are what makes up a life and when you stop having those adventures you stop living. My life should only be adventure. I want to live. This is a beautiful temple – but spoilt by crass commercialism. I would like to find somewhere peaceful and tranquil – this place has tacky shops selling junk. And popcorn – I can’t believe it! One woman’s eyes nearly popped out when she saw my tattoos….makes me laugh!

Just remember that every single person in this world is different. But all human.

Buddha House (Shenzhen) – 30th April 2001

Popcorn at the Buddha house
Everything for sale
Rubbish piles up mountain high
Incense blows away
There seems no peace
Outside this house
Can you find peace inside yourself
It’s hard for me to say

27th Aug 2021 – Vivian had a day off work and took me to a Buddhist temple, at least I presume it was Buddhist. I have no idea where it was or what it was called. Maybe the Hongfa Temple? We got a taxi there and it felt like the area was a little less developed at that time. From what I’ve since learned about these temples I’m guessing it was on a hill and facing the water. The temple was big and the incense smoke cloying but obviously what stood out most was the trash, both for sale and as rubbish piled in plain sight. I would come to understand this garbage phenomenon a little more into the trip. I also quickly learned the Chinese word for rubbish (垃圾) having to tell every walking talking hawker that I didn’t want to buy theirs! I was still quite a lot in culture curiosity mode, rather than culture shock. It was obvious to Vivian that I wasn’t interested in being her ticket out of China though I’m not sure if I told her directly.

Anyway, I decided it was time to arrange to leave Shenzhen and I asked Vivian to help me book a plane ticket. We went into the city, or somewhere suburban at least, and she took me into a hotel foyer. I thought this was a little odd but I was learning new things. In my closeted western experience, buying plane tickets was an officious affair carried out in expensive storefronts. Now here I was in a hotel foyer buying them from some guy set up at a table in the corner.

Strangely, again, Vivian decided she wanted to visit a friend near Beijing and booked us both on the same flight. Perhaps she also wanted to make sure I was set once we arrived there but it was a little surprising to me that she suddenly made this decision where before she wasn’t even sure if she had time to hang out in Shenzhen. In retrospect, I can understand it a little more.

pic: Ivan Herman (chosen as a representation, as I couldn’t find a modern picture that didn’t look like it was from a brochure)

Gob On You (Shenzhen) – 28th April 2001

Surviving on my wits! Finally got some money! Otherwise was in trouble! Forgot my PIN number for my card – idiot. Luckily Bank of China let me withdraw over the counter – feel much better now. Met a nice lady on the train who looked after me and got me on a bus close to my hostel. Vivian came to meet me in her lunch hour. She will be very busy so not sure will see much of her. Not sure whether to stay in SZ or go to Beijing early to meet Yuan Yuan – call her later. SZ is better than GZ and where I’m staying is well developed. Food is good – seems reasonably priced and I found coffee – thank god! China has a strange smell – kinda cross between soy and dirt and old incense – and that is when it doesn’t stink like shit – if China wants to attract more foreigners it should figure out what the hell that smell is – could be raw sewerage…. There’s people everywhere of course – and girls – beautiful girls – everywhere! Slept a lot so far. It’s about 30 degrees here. Too hot. But will venture into the city later, it looked very trendy.

5th August 2021 – I’m enjoying looking on Maps to try and remember more about Shenzhen. I can see there are lots of interesting places around the area I was staying now. This is around Shennan Avenue. This highway was relatively new at the time and a lot of landscaping was being completed. There were a few high rises but not as many as I can see now. Although I didn’t go and look, it felt like the development hadn’t gone out much further yet but I can see that has all changed.

The nice lady (and her friends) on the train worked for Amway, which I found surprising. I knew of Amway when I lived in the UK but never came across it in Australia and yet here they were in China. I felt a bit guarded that she might try to sell me stuff but she didn’t and she kindly got me from the train station to the bus station (right next door I think) and explained to the driver where I was trying to get to.

I knew only a little about Shenzhen at the time. I’d heard it was developing quickly from its original farmland and that it was next to the Hong Kong border. In fact, at that time there were so few skyscrapers that it was obvious that those I could see in the distance were in Hong Kong. It’s only looking on the map now I realise how close to the sea I was. There was definitely no salty sea breeze going around. I can also see that there is a metro or train line now, where a bus was the only option before. There was also not many cars on the roads.

Vivian was a smart young lady around my age but it soon became apparent to me that she was looking for a husband and a way to progress her life outside China. This would become a common theme amongst almost every female who approached me on this trip. Looking back, I think I jumped to many conclusions at the time without understanding much about the nuances.

Anyway, Vivian was nice, kind and helpful and we went sightseeing together a few times over the next few days even though, as I mention, I was already thinking about getting up to Beijing more quickly.

I compare Shenzhen with Guangzhou but I really only got a superficial look at both places. I think it was just that there were fewer people in Shenzhen and as everything was newly built it seemed a lot cleaner and modern.

I was staying in a hostel which was pretty big, maybe 6 or 8 floors and many rooms per floor. It wasn’t quite what I was expecting from a hostel and I found that many people were migrant workers and students living there semi-permanently. I was in a small room of eight that was pretty much 4 bunk beds in one room and a shower/toilet in another. This was also my first time coming across squat toilets which was a real test of my skinny thighs.

Luggage was just kept on the floor or your own bunk. Despite the room being fully occupied I barely saw anyone else whilst I was there. There was an older Portuguese guy on the bottom of my bunk and he was making connections for production, import and export of furniture. I made friends in the evening with a happy-go-lucky Chinese student who took me to the restaurants next door where he helped me find food for my pescatarian diet. This involved some finger-sized fish that I would spend ages trying to take the bones out of before realising that it was easier just to crunch them up and swallow them! I was on a steep learning curve but revelling in it.

It was stupidly hot and humid for me, not like the dry heat I had grown accustomed to in Australia. This necessitated finding beer which was a successful endeavour with one caveat. Despite beer being ridiculously cheap and available, it was almost never cold! On that first night returning to the hostel I asked if there was a fridge anywhere but I was out of luck. Seeing my disappointment (and disgust at having to drink warm beer – oh, how I have changed since leaving England!) they quickly offered a solution. Grabbing a set of keys they took me to the Coke vending machine, opened it up and stored my beers inside. Anytime I wanted one I just had to come and ask them to open the machine. I found this delightful and caring, though I think they weren’t quite prepared on how fast I would drink and keep asking them to open the machine up for me. The beers weren’t strong and due to the humidity, it was easy to drink quickly. This also required navigating toilets more often than I would have liked too but that problem becomes less a stress the more you drink anyway.

The coffee I found was probably just the 3-in-1 sachets but at least it was caffeine. The struggle to find coffee when travelling was real then!

New countries have new smells, as I had discovered on arrival in Australia. The smell in China may just have been people, the close proximity of everyone, their flasks of tea….I don’t know. The stink of shit was probably the reality – at a point where it wasn’t a stench that made you gag but like the sweet aroma of your own farts. Though sometimes it could veer dangerously close to inducing vomiting. Anyone Chinese person I mentioned this to had no idea what I was talking about. Not only for them was it the normal smell of fresh air but I later learned through experiences with durian and stinky tofu that many did not view smells as either good or bad, but that the smell was just the smell. This realisation was quite dramatic and made me understand, or at least view, things a little differently.

The girls, the pretty girls….well I have no particular memories about girls in Shenzhen and I’m sure there were far more plain, ordinary girls around that I did not pay particular attention to. But, there was one afternoon when I was walking to get some food along the completely quiet pavement next to the highway and a beautiful girl in a tight black dress was approaching from the opposite direction. She didn’t notice me at all and as she was about 20 feet away she hocked up a huge gob of spit and deposited it on the sidewalk. My first real spitting experience shattered illusions.

Touchdown in China – 26th April 2001

Guangzhou – Arrived late – no one to pick me up except touts after my $$ – Li Tao looked after me – chubby, gay, nice guy! Didn’t want money. Accidentally bargained a great deal at the hotel and for that I got to sleep on a plank. My back is ok. The taxi to the hotel was hairy – I haven’t seen a westerner yet! I’m in the wrong part of town! Some parade on at the railway station – a disappointing show – looked like police displaying criminals in trucks!! On a train – don’t know how I managed it. This place is crazy and out of order – China maybe a second world country! Saw workers at midnight laying pavement – about 40 feet away someone else was digging it up! People are very curious about me – but not enough to talk – just to stare. Next stop Shenzhen – which was supposed to be first stop!

19th July 2021 – Somewhen around 1998 I joined the Asia Friend Finder website, not particularly to be looking for a girlfriend, but to make contact with people in China which was becoming a major interest as a place to visit. Through the site I met many women (I found out why when I got to China!) but a couple in particular I thought were interesting enough to stay in touch with.

At that time there were no English language versions of chat software but my new Beijing friend Echo (Yuan Yuan) talked me through setting up QQ – which I believe was only a chat program at that time. This made it much easier to communicate and I even had many more women contact me there once they found a foreigner to chat with there.

After much planning, intricate visa arrangements and money saved up I jumped on a plane. I was lucky to receive my new Visa card just before leaving but not lucky enough to set the new pin!

I had arranged to meet a lady at Guangzhou airport who would get me to the train to Shenzhen that evening, where I planned to meet Vivian, my first main contact for the trip. However, my flight was delayed out of Sydney and it was about 11pm when I finally arrived in Guangzhou. I was not shocked that she was not there waiting. When I got back to Australia I found out that she hadn’t come to the airport either as she had to accompany a friend to the hospital after breaking an arm in an accident.

Having taken the precaution not to have too much cash on me, and ensuring passport, cards and extra cash was strapped to me in a pouch under my shirt (I was really paranoid at that time) I was standing around the airport, which appeared to be closing down for the night, wondering what to do next. Seeing a lost foreigner, about 10 taxi touts surrounded me and not understanding the differences with personal space got right up in my face. Completely flustered, I asked them several times to wait whilst I got some money from the ATM. It didn’t help though and they all followed me and surrounded the ATM, looking over my shoulder. That’s when I lost patience. I looked at one guy, pointed at him and said “You. You help me, tell everyone else to go away.”

As I attempted to get money from the machine I suddenly realised I didn’t know the pin number for this new card. Fuck! What can I do now!? I asked my new taxi driving friend, Li Tao about a youth hostel or anything similar that would be near the train station. He said he knew just the place. I was still feeling cautious and wondering where this guy might take me but Li Tao was a kind man and I started to relax a little. His English was poor but good enough and I had next to no Chinese language skills. We managed to communicate well enough though.

When we got to the hostel I asked Li Tao to wait as I needed to check that they could swipe my Visa card as payment – something that was outdated in the west but luckily still in use here. Finally feeling more settled and relaxed Li Tao said farewell and gave me his number and told me to call him if I had any problems. With the little cash I had I paid him and tried to tip him but he wouldn’t hear of it. Damn, I was so lucky to find the right person to meet by chance. I started to feel good about things.

I’m not sure about the plank to sleep on that I reference originally, perhaps just implying it was a rock hard mattress. It was around midnight by now and I thought I’d take a look around. The hostel was right outside the main train station and there were thousands of people there. I had arranged these dates to travel to China because all my contacts told me that they had free time. It was only now that I was learning about the May Day and National holidays in China. All these people were heading back out of the city to their rural villages.

At the time I had dyed red hair, tattoos and a nose-ring so it was no surprise when I stepped into this maelstrom of people that they all stopped and stared, jaws dropping open. It was very uncomfortable but I pushed on, wanting to check out what I could about the station so that I knew what to do and where to go in the morning.

Suddenly a parade of vehicles came through the crowds and I later found out, as I had guessed, that there were indeed parading criminals. Usually done before they were taken out of the city to a field and shot! It felt very medieval.

The comment about people laying bricks and then digging them up again struck me as a bizarrely communist scheme to keep everyone employed. I was probably reading too much into it but I did come across several other instances like this. The reason construction work was happening at midnight was because it was too damn hot to do during the day. But my guess is that the work was going on 24/7 and that it was just better to have the night shift.

I’m unsure about my comment on China being a second world country. Did I think it was a first world country or third world country?

From the text it appears I wrote this on the train to Shenzhen the following day. I don’t really remember much about how this came about so it couldn’t have been too torturous.

I found a picture of Guangzhou train station in the 80s – I think the 6 or so floor building to the right of the square may have been the hostel where I stayed. The palm-treed roundabout was where I saw the people laying bricks in the ground.

Re: FW: Dreamweaver – 18th February 1999

Email with TLJ:

TLJ: wanted you to get this right away – accidentally sent it to kabuki a/c. Sorry.

S: Yep – sounds cool. I think Troy and Bronwyn might come up on Sunday morning

TLJ: WHY are they coming Sunday morning??

S: to look at the video equipment, teach me some HTML and to spin some disks – oh and to make some picnic food? I don’t know if it will be morning or not – haven’t figured anything out yet. so we could all head down from here whenever you want – maybe we could ALL make stuff for a picnic?

TLJ: Well, i can’t cook, or make sandwiches or anything – can I come round to your place Sunday morning then, we could go shopping and make pasta salad or something – hang on, Sunday morning’s when troy and bronwyn may be coming round, so you’ll have to go shopping and cook the night before, and unfortunately, i will be at dinner with yuri. Sorry.

S: No – we could do all that and more – and now you’ve committed to it that is what we are going to do!

TLJ: I’m really shitty today, cause S_ let me choose between a dress and skirt from Thailand, and i chose this silly skirt instead of the groovy dress and N_ got the really cool dress – plus she got the nicer sarong. I don’t know what came over me, so i’m really pissed off at myself.

S: You’ll wear each others clothes anyway – what does it matter. I’m sorry you chose the wrong one though. You ALWAYS do that!!!!

TLJ: i’m really sorry about your car – you’re pretty silly – how bad was the damage?????????????

S: Probably a couple a hundred bucks – I dunno. It’s not major or anything but I should get it fixed when I get it serviced next which should be in about eight weeks or so.

TLJ: And how cool if you go to houston texas – i really hope you get to go – it’s full of racist rednecks – S_ went there for work 5 years ago.

S: I was waiting for you to say that I would fit right in there! But I’m glad you didn’t.
Thanks again for a great night last night – I had a lot of fun sweety. Hey, you know how I said I was up all Sunday night with stomach problems – well, I actually was up last night with stomach problems – must have been all that food swilling in with that Coke!
Love ya babes Shaun

TLJ: I’m really upset right now – C_ “misplaced” her camera with my film in it – it’s my film from the farewell party – i took all these photos with the really cool people on tour. It’s got all my personal photos on it, so i’m really shitty.

S: Why has she got it??? why didn’t you get it off her before???? Baabbbeeee…..

TLJ: anyway, right now looking at Home Site – i think i like it better than dreamweaver (the help is better for a start), but its interface is much more cluttered. I haven’t started using it yet though.

S: Cool – did Bronwyn give you any help on ones to try out? Are you going to get credit for your work?

TLJ: mail me, i’m bored. Coming for lunch with me?

S: I’ll be there in spirit…..if that’s any good to ya!?

TLJ: Forgot to tell you – think i figured out what went wrong with the exclude filters – It’s the way you define the filters – like whether you have one exclude filter for excluding files AND IP addresses, or 2 – 1 to exclude files, one to exclude IP addresses. Having a filter with several elements (all files) works as AND, while defining separate filters with one element works as OR. But if you define different elements in the exclude, this only excludes say the defined files from the defined IP addresses – rather than all the files and all the IP addresses. It’s extremely confusing.
I also solved the mapping probs by using UNCs.

TLJ: Also just remembered – we’ve got a trial evacuation – 9-10am – coolhuh?
Walking to work today – i guess you heard about the siege at the greek embassy – anyway, there were heaps of fire engines, ambulances and police cars – they’ve blocked off castlereagh street i think. There was a bit of a crowd there – i was wondering what was going on. I heard there was a protest at the greek embassy – i thought it was in england!!!!

S: You are right about my money situation you know – thanks for talking about it last night. If I can get these bills out of the way which probably won’t be until April then I’ll start putting some extra by. You gotta remind of this when I say let’s go out and do such and such! we’ll go and do cheap things

TLJ: I did not say anything about not spending money on me! I said stop spending money on crap things you don’t need like food and comics. Where’d you get the idea I was talking about us?????????????????????? I think i’d better have another talk to you…………………

S: Yes – I think I need a good talking to! Come and sort me out sweety!
you can go do expensive things with yr other boyfriends! So – how about a movie night at my place?

TLJ: I really think you should just keep a track of where your money is going – and whether all that spending is necessary – and maybe limit your spending on certain things each fortnight. You can spend less some weeks, and make up for it other weeks – and eventually things will even out, and you can save more or less some weeks, but it will average out and you will have saved a set amount of money – then you can spend some on unexpected occurences (like my birthday………………………..).

S: I would take all your advice seriously if you were in control of your own finances!
No, actually I will restrict myself on certain things for a while……

TLJ: I’ll help you babes, ok?

S: Yeah – thanks my friend! How’s you day? I’m busy today – it’s not fair!

Look! – 17th February 1999

Email with TLJ:

TLJ: Thanks for the html stuff babes.

S: Hosemobile weren’t playing last night in the end! Drum fucked up the dates.
TLJ: So when are they playing – sat and sun? and with the same bands??? same venues??

S: They’re playing tonight at the Iron Duke and Sunday at the Globe. I’ll probably go to the Globe on Sunday. Not sure who’s supporting – it just says Special Guests.
Luckily we found out before going. The girl Craig is practicing with, Bronwyn, was there and her boyfriend Troy. They’ve only been here since Jan 4th – from Virginia, USA.

TLJ: What does the girl do? is she the guitarist/singer – have you heard her? is she good?

S: She plays guitar – it’s just guitar and drums -no bass – sounds interesting. Not sure if she sings – maybe. We could ask them tomorrow.

TLJ: Yuri rang – his birthday dinner is 20th Feb (i hope we haven’t planned anything that day).

S: Are you taking the 19th off?

TLJ: Started to read Kabuki last night but I’d better start from the beginning – so you’ll have to lend me them ok?

S: Did it look good? I’ll lend you them for sure – you know that babes. I know you’ll look after them.

TLJ: Oh, and Laura gets back this morning – so i’m planning on meeting Mich after work – I was supposed to go to see “Shakespeare in love” with school friends, but if laura’s coming over for dinner tonight (her parents are coming), then i’ll skip the movie and see if mich wants to come home with me and laura, mich and I can catch up.

Sound like a good plan?? Sounds like a great plan. I’ll be catching up on some ZZ’s tonight. Hey – I saw fireworks at Darling Harbour last night – was near chinatown – was kinda difficult to see – I was driving past – but may have been to do with CNY.

TLJ: So i probably won’t see you tonight – i thought you may be going to that gig but i guess not.

S: I’ll miss you babes – I wanna pour more water over you!

TLJ: mail me

S: No – oh all right!

TLJ: There was this real dickhead, sleazy guy on the train who thought he was sooo cool, and he was trying to chat up this girl and her friends whom I think he met yesterday (well, that’s what i figured from my eavesdropping – it wasn’t really eavesdropping though, he was speaking so loud, i’m sure he wanted everyone to hear him). He wanted to go out with one of them, but he already knew one of them. He was sooo pathetic – got to tell you all about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S: Chinese New Year Celebrations sounds like next weekend – I’m not sure. I’ll go down on Saturday anyway. I’m stuffing myself with last nights dinner – it’s delicious – gets better after a day in the fridge! I’m so tired – i can’t wait to go to physio and have a nap!
Love you angel breath

S: I got here at 7.10 and there’s no parking spots and I swiped a barrier and dented my car!!!!
And just as I was writing that – my boss comes and asaks what I’m doing around March 7th for a week – I’m thinking oh shit what’s all this??? Anyway BMC who make the product I work with are offering to pay for me to go and get some training in Houston Texas!!!!!
Oh man………

S: I can’t get that song Crossbone Style out of my head…..AAARRRGGGHHHHH
“I have seen some unbelievable things……”
Man -I’m shitty about my car……but stoked about Houston! You got any money…….?

TLJ: Don’t have any money – but you still got to do some Duty Free shopping ok? Oh yeah – should I get myself a camera? I guess i’ll miss you. Not too many asian girls in houston though. will you cope?? Tracs

S: I’ll miss you like crazy baby!!!! Can you come with me???? I’ll be calling you…..

Pager – 16th February 1999

Email with TLJ:

TLJ: email me baby!!!

S: OK

TLJ: I was just laughing to myself because I was wishing we could spend the whole day together – and knew we’d have so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!

S: Let’s do it – next Friday! You were laughing because you knew we couldn’t……Yes – let’s have more fun anyway.

TLJ: Want to know everything you’ve been doing.

S: Arrived at work 9am, did some work til 11.30. Chatted to you. Did some more work. Went to lunch 12.30. Looked in General Pants. Saw a t-shirt you’d probably like with Jap writing – but it had a pattern on the sleeves which spoiled it. Didn’t have any other Jap shirts. Bought a heat/cool pack for my aching muscles and bones. Now I’m back. want to see you babes. Looking forward to the weekend and Chinese New Year. I want to take HJ on Sunday – can you come for a while? And Monday night? And you can sleep over the following weekend and we’ll go skydiving……
Love to ya angel, hope yr lunch was sweet and you had some R+B gossip. Oh yeah – Janey, the Cantonese girl here – I asked her if she was into R+B, thinking she was bound to be, but she said she’d just bought the Green Day CD. She mentioned a band called the Wallflowers too – you heard of them? She spoilt it all by saying she didn’t mind Maria Carey!!! Hahaha. Love to ya again!

TLJ: Was just talking to Yvette – and they’re rowing on Saturday and Sunday. She was telling me that Chinese Cultural Association are planning all this stuff for new year’s this weekend (I think). She told me she wanted to go, and if i wanted to go, then we should meet up. There are also dragon boat races the 20-21 weekend, but I don’t know if I’ll turn up because my cousin will be there.

S: Don’t you like your cousin???

TLJ: Anyway, if you want to find out what’s happening, I can mail her.

S: Oh no don’t bother – I mean I’ve only been tyring to find out for the last couple of weeks! would you mail her for me sweety? You’d do that for me? What about coming down though on Sunday or Monday night? Don’t you answer emails anymore??? Missyoubabes.

TLJ: The Wallflowers is Jakob Dylan’s (bob’s son) band – he’s a real cutey and i love that name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S: Wallflowers, Jakob, Dylan or Bob? And just how cute is he?

TLJ: Anyway, I may be able to make it Sunday if HJ’s there, but probably not monday night – I want my sleep!!

S: Aww…You don’t need sleep!

TLJ: mail me

S: OK

TLJ: – when are you getting home tonight,

S: about 6-6.15 depending on traffic

TLJ: and when are you leaving

S: 7.30

TLJ: – are you having dinner at home

S: Yes

TLJ: – what time does the concert start

S: Don’t know

TLJ: and are you going home straight after or hanging around with Craig?

S: Straight home – I am really tired!

TLJ: Have fun, tlj

S: I will babe (but I will wish you were with me). Good luck with the soccer.

TLJ: ps – I had a really nice chicken satay pizza for lunch and it cost me $1.50!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S: I haven’t had lunch but I bought an apple which I’m gonna eat soon You have fun too sweetlips

Re: Memory – 15th February 1999

Email with TLJ

TLJ: : ok, so here’s what I think. I think that it is trying to read the files because I specified for it to auto detect the log file format.

S: So, if you turn that function off – is it OK?

TLJ: – once it detects it (say by running a report or if you specify log file format) then it seems ok. Also, if you select auto detect the log file format, then it takes 12 log files (4085Kb), but when i put in the 13th (4537Kb) it started using all the CPU.

S: Any ideas why – is it the number of files or the accumulated size?

TLJ: Proud of my research and troubleshooting skills?

S: Of course – I never doubted you babe. How are the others though – the ones who count.

Pooh – 14th February 1999

Email with TLJ:

S: I went to the library today and picked up some books for HJ. I also checked if they had The Tao of Pooh – the computer said they did but I couldn’t find it on the shelf. When they find it they’ll let me know. I did find though, the Te of Piglet, which is a bit of a coincidence cos on Monday Margaret gave me this print out of a Chinese word and it’s meaning – the word is De (the same word – different dialect/pronunciation). It means virtue and is part of Margaret’s name – Wen De. How’s that for coincidence? Hope your lunch was good and you had fun with your friends…

S: Hope your lunch was good and you had fun with your friends…

TLJ: was a bit shitty cause hari asked how i felt about people dating older men and i went on about all this shit about hating old men dating young women, and as usual, older white men dating young asian women. But then i felt really stupid, cause he was asking about ME dating older men, and I knew mich must have told him about me and you – She tells him EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!

S: Does that mean we are dating then? I thought I was just your regular root?! You know – how you tell me EVERYTHING!!!!!! So are they doing it or what?

TLJ: he was nice apart from that.
upset, tlj

S: Don’t be upset my little angel…come see me….

TLJ: Thanks for the cartoon baby, cheered me up – can’t believe you’re already sending me mail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (now why don’t you send me flowers????)

S: Well, you know I wanted to send you some on your first day – that’s why I asked you which floor you would be on. Of course, you weren’t too sure and I ran out of money…….but I still have ideas…..

TLJ: When i saw the CSC logo I thought they’d tracked me down and were going to make life hard.

S: What do you mean? Who’s they? Are you having paranoid delusions again….”I’m not paranoid – I know what you’re thinking….”

TLJ: Also, when I read the “watch out for this guy”, I thought it was the sleazy office worker

S: What sleazy office worker……????

TLJ: – every company has one

S: hmm???????????????

TLJ: Anyway, I’m feeling better now. Just remembered I have soccer tonight.

S: GO Team GO!

TLJ: Have a great day, tlj

S: Gets better with the first mail of the day from you…..

Sometimes I do – 13th February 1999

Email with TLJ:

T: > could someone send out an email to all the bits telling them what our group is then…i’m not sure my email got out…our email server is a bit shitty

S: That’s CSC’s mail server by the way (as I’m sure you’re aware of)
the server’s been pretty good recently – you seem to get my mails pretty quick – could be something to do with socs.uts??

T: See, they assume I am in their group

S: What ‘group’ are they talking about?

T: – i haven’t said anything – I hate this – I don’t want to be in ANY group, although sometimes I do.

S: Haha!

T: Anyway, been doing some more Webtrends investigating – CPU usage goes up because it is trying to access the log files – which are about 10-12 mb, and this is using up all the CPU.

S: What size is the CPU, memory, and virtual memory? I wouldn’t have thought that it would spazz as much as you have indicated if the log file is on the same machine.

T : When i changed the name of the log file, and webtrends could no longer find them, CPU usage went down.

S: So – how doesit know which file to look for just when you start it up. You know – I think maybe it’s getting the log file and trying to shove it into cache (what they term the database) and once it’s done CPU may go down. Can you try it with a much smaller log file and see if CPU settles down quickly?

T: Also tried to change the name of the file when CPU usage was 100% (on a hunch) – and just as I had guessed, the folder name couldn’t be changed because it was being accessed!!!!!!!!!!!!

S: You’re smart!

T: How can I fix this dilemma?? Or get around this problem???

S: Do you need to change the filename while WebTrends is accessing it? I think this would indicate that there should be only ONE log file (perhaps per month – so you may have to shut WT down only once a month to rename files). Otherwise you’d have to set up some batch process to end the WT process, rename the file and start WT again (would it know about the new filename -does it pick that up automatically?)

T: Meeting mich and hari for lunch at 1pm.

S: Have fun babes -i want a full gossip report.