Fair Enough – 15th May 1984

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Some things I can stand
Some things I cannot
But you are just sitting there
Taking everything I’ve got
So I use my free speech
Make sure I have my say
But the media distorts my every word
So I can’t get away
I say it’s bad stuff
They say I say fair enough
Is it fair? Is it enough?

6th June 2023 – I feel like I was being an everyman with ‘the media distorts my every word.’ My own personal views were never represented in media but those I aligned with often were. I don’t think this was about a particular incident, or at least I can’t remember it now but a very vague generalisation.

*The Week That Was – 14th May 1984

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Record of the week: New Model Army – Vengeance and Spirit of the Falklands (from Vengeance LP)

14th May 1984
Went to school. Did Office Practice – piss boring. Came home. Went down track. Came back. Did some drums. Took dog. Can’t remember anything else. Watched telly all night. Went to Houldey’s – everyone was there apart from Dandy. Came back. Watched Scully – fuckin’ ace – and Hill Street Blues.

15th May 1984
Got up 12. Went to Wimborne, saw everyone come out of school. Went to Simon’s – he was occupied with some bird. Came back. Went to Allenborne to see if Kathy was about. Came back. Read book. Had tez. Went to Jez’s. Had a decent game of snooker. (?) beat by one point 70-71. Came back. Watched Young Ones – better than last week. Doing more on wall. Went to sleep.

16th May 1984
Got up about 11. Started pissing and rode to school on moped. Had a H.E. exam which was shit. Got back, did this and that. Doing wall. Zoe rang. Had a fuckin’ shit talk. She started crying and hung up. Fuckin’ pissed me off. Went round Houldey’s – had a laugh. Went to sleep.

17th May 1984
Woke up 10. Went down track. Went to Wimborne on moped. Looked for Kathy. Vince and Rob looked at my bike. Came back. Pissed around doing this and that. Went over Jez’s. He told Roo he was chucked out of PCH. Had another decent game of snooker. Came back. Went to sleep.

18th May 1984
Managed to get up – but only just. Went in – R.E. (exam) – was fuckin’ shit. Christian this, Christian that. Wrote ten poems. Finished R.E. in half an hour. Went up Simon’s to get amp but he wasn’t in. Bought tons of grub. Went to Jez’s. Had a shit game of snooker. Jack Chickenshit being a cunt. Took Carly and Cilla back. Now I’m home.

19th May 1984
Jez came over. Went to Poole. He bought NMA. Got bass back. Scrounged money for a lead. Met these girls who gave us some fags. Came back. Went to Three Legged Cross to get my amp. Got Shirl’s amp. Pissed around. Shirl came round. He went. We did some more. Went to Houldey’s – no one there. Came back. Had tea. Did some more. Sharon and Zoe rang. Zoe was in a shit still. Pigs came round and did us for playing too loud. Went to Houldey’s. Beki and Dandy were swimming. Came back. Went back at 10.45. They came back. We came back home.

20th May 1984
Playing PCH til 3 and went to sleep. Got up 10.30-ish. Fixed my bike so Jez could get home. He went. I took dog. Went to Houldey’s. Beki was going with Mini somewhere. I came back. Took Mat’s amp back. Dandy was there. Walked back. Went to Jim’s – took Subhumans LP. Had some food. Watched Spitting Image. Cane back. Roads were a cunt. Went to sleep.

Dying For A Fag – 13th May 1984

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Have you got a cigarette for me to smoke?
If I don’t have one soon I think I’ll choke
The doctor says I should give up the weed
He says they will make my lungs bleed
– I try to breathe out but I always wheeze
– Have you got a fag? Oh, please!

I always take a bag to the shop
‘Five thousand fags please’, I never stop
All these little kids asking for a fag
But I tell them that I need every drag
– I try to breathe out but I always wheeze
– Have you got a fag? Oh, please!

It got so bad I was seriously ill
My throat was blocked, I couldn’t swallow a pill
Lying on a hospital bed, still wanting a drag
But now I’m really dying for a fag

It’s Worse Than You Think – 10th May 1984

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Read the papers and hear the news
Someone’s point of distorted views
When someone says it’s worse than you think
You’d better believe it, you never saw the missing link

6th June 2023 – I so want to fix that last line, what a nightmare!
In 1984 we didn’t have mainstream media – there was just media and it was mostly news with doses of opinion. Not much entertainment but that would soon be coming. There was no mainstream media because there wasn’t much in the way of alternative media, at least not easily discoverable. Anyway, I was already distrustful.

*The Week That Was – 7th May 1984

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Records of the week: Sex Gang Children – Beasts, In Excelsis – Carnival of Damocles

7th May 1984
Got up. Didn’t do much. Went down club. Zoe rang before. Gave Shaun Chick a game of snooker – he only just beat me. Came back. Watched TV. Hill Street Blues. Steve Davis won the snooker.

8th May 1984
Managed to get up in time. Stef was in a mood first. 2. Went up library. 3. Did Maths – shit. Pissed around in art room with Burd. Lunch – sat on bench having fags etc. English language – didn’t do too badly I don’t think. Came back on bus which was all right. Went down. Jamie ain’t allowed out. Came back. Watched Young Ones which was pretty crap.

9th May 1984
Jim came into school for no reason. Did Social Studies in morning – pretty bad. Lunch – lay in the grass with Sarah and Vicki. Social again – which was easy. Wrote 7 poems. 7. Went up library. 8. Maths – shit. Went down Witchampton. I beat Roo at snooker. Went to Burd’s – played football. Roo’s old man brought me back.

10th May 1984
Half day today. English Comprehensions – was quite easy. Tried to get out of hall for a fag. Doubled up on bus. Rupert was supposed to come over but fuckin’ didn’t. Played drums, went down the track. Re-dug the camp and started doing some more til it pissed it down. Went to Houldey’s. Dried off. Came back. Had a bad talk with Zoe. Drew on wall. Did taping.

11th May 1984
Another half day today. Had a fuckin’ boring Physics exam today which I totally fucked up. Came back home – took dog for walk. Went down to the track and did some digging. Went to Houldey’s. Had a chat with Mr Houldey. Met Mr Shearlock – had a chat with him. Went down to club. Met Jez and Roo. We decided to really get PCH together. So Carly knew Paul Chick had a guitar so Roo bought it. I ran around with things. Saw Peter Chick – more an accident. Came home.

12th May 1984
Got on bus for Poole. Met Jez. Roo didn’t get on cos he couldn’t afford it. Jez left his bass guitar with me. Still no Black Flag so bought Sex Gang Children and In Excelsis 12″s. Put bass in Bandstand. Met Fish. We went to the Quay. Got bus back. Jez got on. Saw Simon. Told him to ring. Got back home. Went down track. Watched Automan (?). Went to track again. Simon rang. Jez rang. Went to where Jez was. Baby’s (indecipherable) then came round so he couldn’t go to the disco. Roo pissed off. Then I did. Watched film. Went to sleep.

13th May 1984
Woke up at 12. Burd rang, said he was coming over. He came with Roo. Played Subhumans to them. Started cleaning out garage. Took everything out. Put some back. Took some to dump. Put some on fire. Roo was getting on our tits. He pissed off. We had a game of football in garage. Started a fire in there. Jez went home. Went to Jim’s. Came back

You’re Only Gonna Die – 5th May 1984

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Enjoy and enjoy your life
It’s the only one you’ve got
Enjoy yourself but don’t shit on others
Save yourself, it’s worth a lot
So when someone hits you in the eye
Just get up and cry ‘I’m only gonna die!’

4th June 1984 – I’d already figured out life’s pointlessness but it hadn’t started crippling me yet. I hadn’t heard of Stoicism or memento mori yet either.