Ascension – 15th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments 
  Dreams fuelled the fire
    Sacrifices made to inspire
       Hard work satisfies desire
        A ladder to heaven
          Ascending to the stars
            Dreams fuelled the fire
          No stone remains unturned
        Sacrifices made to inspire
      A lesson always learned
    Hard work satisfies desire
  Reward is duly earned

Shared with dVerse’s Quadrille challenge – lift

Today I’m feeling:

My new Sleep app alarm didn’t work as expected this morning, so I woke up a few minutes later with my normal alarm and ran behind schedule a little but I forced myself to exercise and I’m glad that I did. I always feel much better after exercise and have to remember that as encouragement.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The two packs of rice crackers that I bought on Monday and ran out of time to eat and were still in my bag today, just when I needed to snack to keep me going.

The best thing about today was:

Doing some one-on-two interviews with my grade 12s really tested them and quite a few students surprised me with their abilities and with their ideas. It was really nice to experience.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Kru Tongjai seemed to be in a bad mood today and was annoyed that I was using the small teachers’ room to interview students and encourage them to speak in a safe, quiet environment. She told me that I shouldn’t be there and that I should figure out somewhere else to do it.

Champ had already said that it was ok for me to use the room and later said that he thought it was great that I was doing what I was doing to help the students.

Just another day of confusing messages from the staff around me. Never mind.

I seem to end many of these entries with ‘never mind’. Perhaps that’s good.

Something I learned today?

Teacher David is thinking that it is time to move on for him soon. He’s paranoid that he’s being watched closely by other teachers. I don’t see it myself but he has made me more wary of what might be going on.

Another picture after Sarah stole my phone again. Her and KT.

A Hold On Power – 14th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The bow is taut, passion tight
Get a shot off! Get a shot off!
Where will the passion land?
A strategic misdirection

Waiting for sweet release
All possibilities in existence
A strategic misdirection
The essence of a passion tight

Before the shot goes off
A strategic misdirection
Watch your head! Mind your head!
Anticipated release

A strategic misdirection
Whilst the bow is taut
Get a shot off! Watch it fire!
Ready your art for war

Spun out from this quote “When the bow is taut it hasn’t been shot yet but the power is there and you can shoot the bow in many different directions, that is the essence of strategy.” which I probably read at The Stoa newsletter.

Today I’m feeling:

Apart from my voice and a little bit of a sore throat, I feel pretty good. Also, knowing that I only have one class in the morning and then I can finish and come back for my physio appointment at the hospital.

The first class was easy and fun and I sent the same work to my second class to submit, as I won’t be there for them.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The physio that I saw at the hospital. She was very nice and helpful, English was good and best of all, she convinced me that buying a fancy ergonomic pillow was a waste of money.

Sadly, the treatment they gave me wasn’t particularly special and I could probably do the same at home with a wheat bag. I felt that it was comparatively expensive but will give it one more try at the end of the month.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to leave school by 10.30, enjoy a relaxing coffee whilst reading and writing, pick up some yoghurt on the way, mosey on up to the hospital, then back home into bed for an afternoon comic reading session followed by thirty minutes of eyes closed calm before getting up and out to play guitar.

A nice chill day all round.

World Wonderful – 13th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Like a skimming stone searching for the shore
Scared of immersion, drowning in life’s maw
Turn and face it, walk towards this escape
Where magic is revealed ready to take shape

Attention paid to break the challenge’s grip
Unveils the awe-inspiring depth of this trip
Suffering settles deeper in a comfy bed
Yet rising shapes the world wonderful instead

Based on a quote by psychiatrist and author, Anna Lembke, on facing life’s challenges head-on.

Today I’m feeling:

Cold but not too bad otherwise. Today seems to be the coldest morning of the winter and from here it looks like it’s just going to get warmer.

I woke up with my new alarm from the sleep app, though I should say Tigger heard it first from the other room and it was him that woke me up!

Despite my phlegm-filled throat, I did some exercise, though my energy is still a little depleted or perhaps I couldn’t get enough oxygen into my lungs. I persevered though and just hope that I don’t fall off due to exhaustion but can just sleep well again tonight.

By the end of my first class, my voice was disappearing again and so in my second class I told the kids that I couldn’t speak and then pretended to cheer. They were pretty good, considering.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Nong Gam and her friend Cha Cha. I don’t teach either of them – Gam is a friend of my old student Noey, but they appeared as I was about to leave and so I chatted with them for a while. As they speak very little English, I found myself talking to them in Thai as much as I could.

I’m not sure why they suddenly appeared or if they were on their way somewhere else but I was glad to be able to practice some Thai with them anyway.

The best thing about today was:

My voice (kinda) making it through the six hours of classes today and still having enough energy to play some guitar.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I didn’t get a chance to stop to read or write today, as all the TLC teachers had to attend a meeting to cosy up with the director and take photos as if we are one big happy family. Never mind.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

AngPao had a picture on Instagram that showed that she had been cutting her arm. I asked her about it this morning and she told me that she has depression. She was a little shocked when I told her ‘me too’. I told her that she can talk to me anytime she wants.

My grade 11 student Chompoo was in a bad mood today and when I talked with her quietly later she told me that something had happened that made her feel sad. I showed her that I understood and sent her a message in the evening to see if she was ok.

Miyor was sick after my class and looked very sad for herself when I passed her by at the end of the day. I gave her a hug and hoped she would get well soon.

Sarah took this picture because she stole my phone again! Not bad for an old bastard.

The Fool You Find – 12th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

It’s Not You

With the brightest smiles
and feined sincerity
that serves you so well
As the bee flits
from candied purple
to butterfly blue
You’re on your way
keeping all that honey
as stored ammunition

It’s Me

The facade crumbled
the honey on my lips
enlightened by my taste
Poison to my senses
the comfort of your nest
no longer warms
I’m on my way
I’ll make space
for the next fool you find

Shared with dVerse – MTB: New and Old in a Palinode and walking away from a friendship.

Today I’m feeling:

Ok again. My throat seems a little clearer but I’m still croaky. Otherwise, I slept well, though only 7 hours.

It’s a cold, sunny Sunday and I will pick up Amy and Baew and we’ll go to In Am’s Kitchen for brunch.

It doesn’t look that special but getting into some sourdough after not having had it for a long while was great. There is a new bread shop that opened in the city too but sadly it was closed today.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Baew and Mee for bringing Amy home this evening, as she decided to stay on and continue drinking and eating today!

Every day is a holiday for my little Amy!

The best thing about today was:

Listening to lots of music, though only brief listens to new bands that I wanted to check out. One day I have to stop this endless search for new music – there is so much good music being made. I need to enjoy what I already have! Same goes for comics too (and books!)

I’m also halfway through finishing the Barber Dead interview for Suspect Device and enjoyed listening to their EP again. Already good to begin with; it has really got its hooks into me.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I haven’t been motivated to play guitar for a few days now and it is mostly due to the time factor, as I enjoy other things instead.

Something I learned today?

Don’t buy coffee at In Am’s kitchen. Whilst the food was great and reasonably priced, I’m fussy when it comes to coffee.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I’ve been chatting with Baipad through TikTok where we seem to be sending each other videos of cute animals. I feel a little as if she is my part-time daughter.

I took this picture because mother and daughter have been reunited and both keep getting off their ties and coming to chill in our garden again.

No Thunder – 11th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

There’s bad blood under the skin
A sickly patient wearing thin
Invisible infection, a misdirection
A poorly boy since conception

A head full of holes slowly leaking
Sanity fails whenever speaking
There’s no thunder while going under
A broken mind rent asunder

So many opinions without conclusion
Perfect health is just an illusion
Nowhere to hide from the end of the ride
Living is a glacial suicide

Written whilst sitting at the hospital for 5 hours waiting for a doctor whom I saw for less than 2 minutes

Charlie Zero The Poet Music picks & Reviews #5 and my quick thoughts:

Magdalena Bay – liked this and was surprised to see that they are playing in Australia. They seem to be popular and I’ve never heard of them (which I guess isn’t unusual these days!). The thing that puts me off their music though is that it’s just too damn nice!

Irreversible Entanglements – Again nice agit-jazz but too far into the jazz for my tastes.

Prurient – I understand the appeal. Not for me.

Omar Souleyman – I seem to be behind on his releases and this is another enjoyable album. I was disappointed when I saw him live though, it didn’t quite translate in the venue where I saw him which was part of an arts festival. Needed more sand!

Avalanche Kaito – Recommended by you before and I enjoyed the discovery.

Today I’m feeling:

Hmm…kinda ok. I feel like there are energy reserves in my body somewhere but my foggy brain can’t quite access them yet.

I’m reading a few bits of poetry and searching my resources for inspiration to write my own words but it’s not quite working.

I was coughing a fair bit through the night and last night I used a sleep tracker app to see what information it can provide.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy making a big dish of pasta for me at lunchtime and putting it in the oven. Then I dropped her at Baew’s and when I got back, the ding of the oven timer went off just as I stepped inside the house.

It was delicious and fed me in the evening, and tomorrow too!

The best thing about today was:

Reading again. And writing another decent poem that I think came out well.

I took this picture because Amy is at Baew’s tonight, Cap has stolen my spot and so me and Tig are squeezed in where Amy normally sits.

Duality – 10th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 11 Comments
Image by Chris Rawlins

The dawn fog settles
Honour-bound, two figures stand
Their fates soon revealed
Both fell in thunderous fire
Bittersweet, the lady faints

A tanka for Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Bittersweet

Today I’m feeling:

Ok but I can’t talk properly. I feel like I have a mild cold but not that bad really. A little fuzzy in the head.

I got up at around 7 am and sent messages to school and work to my students to do in my absence. I went back to bed at around 8 and ended up with some nice, extra enjoyable sleep.

I got up for lunch, took some medicine and now out for my first and only coffee for the day. I may sleep more yet!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

More medicine from the local pharmacy and when I arrived there, the pharmacist was petting a street seller’s really cute dog, so of course I had to spend a minute petting too.

The best thing about today was:

Reading, lots of reading!

Something I learned today?

I hit up Kru John about the possible change of director at school but all he knew was that it’s the sub-director who will change.

Garbage In – 9th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

You are your own curator
What does your archive say?
Your most valued selections
Will predict the game you play

May I copy to my scroll
That to which you adhere?
My library is starting bare
And I need a new idea

Cross-reference the index
Let’s build up our research
Combine all our best thoughts
And share for all to search

You are your own curator
Garbage in makes garbage out
Information overload
Fills everything with doubt

Inspired by a David Elikwu newsletter
18th Apr 2025 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United – this poem is tangentially connected with the theme of ‘youth has no age’.

Today I’m feeling:

Good except my croaky sore throat. My body feels great otherwise after playing volleyball yesterday. I skipped exercise this morning, though.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady selling candy outside school. She has some weird and unusual candy selections and I can throw a few down for a little sugar bump at the end of the day before driving home.

The best thing about today was:

Talking with Poppy as she wants to apply to go to Japan with the school and she was very excited about it. She told me that she wants to talk with me every day to improve her English to prepare for the interview.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Today we were asked to attend a meeting at 4 pm and then five minutes before it started, we were told that it might last for two hours!

Thankfully, it was less than an hour, no idea what any of it was about but I spent the whole time studying Thai, so at least it wasn’t wasted.

Also, by the end of the day, I had almost lost my voice, so I decided that it is probably best not to go to school tomorrow but to go back to see the ENT specialist in the city again.

Something I learned today?

Some students were telling me that they were worried about the school because we will get a new director soon. First I’ve heard about it!

Ang Pao took this picture because yesterday I discovered that she had a pierced tongue and this morning she wanted to post this picture of us online.

Distraction – 8th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

The media golden penny
Shared and liked by millions
More poisoned than many
And governed by reptilians!

The rabbit’s path is lit
To keep you keen and focus
Enjoying the wade-through shit
Until the shepherd woke us

When the golden penny dropped
Baring the true face of the media
That’s when the distraction stopped
To build your own encyclopedia

The following is a letter from January 8th, 2024, delivered today from the past

Dear FutureMe,

It’s now 30 years since leaving the UK. Now it seems like it doesn’t make much difference. After ten years it was still quite a novelty and being in Australia was still filled with wild emotions. But since then it felt like the UK was no longer something I understood or was a part of.

Though I count Thailand as my home now it is still a little tenuous to stay here and if I leave here in the future it definitely won’t be back to the UK but most likely Australia (unless Amy and I end up somewhere else).

You didn’t write much about this at the time but Amy and her family are going through a typical Thai-style drama at the moment and I wonder if it is all settled by the time of receiving this letter.

Amy’s man-child useless brother and his girlfriend are due to get married. Whilst that should be a cause for celebration we can see that this is not anything to do with love but purely circumstance. When quizzed on his reasons for marriage her brother purely said it was because he was getting old. He said this in front of his bride-to-be.

And so why has she agreed to this?

Part of the condition of marriage is that Amy’s mum will pay off their debts with her newly acquired money from selling her apartments. She will also have to pay a dowry to the bride’s family. So the bride and her family do get some benefit from this arrangement. And what the future might bring for them, who knows?

She now lives in Chiang Rai whilst he is in Bangkok. They don’t talk about anything they are doing and they have no plans for the future. Everything looks like it is just a short-term plan to get out of debt.

Amy’s brother contributes nothing to their family and is selfish beyond belief except for his one or two friends who he treats to food and drink every time they meet. Essentially, he is buying their friendship. His mum and dad treat him like a prince, forgiving him for any wrong he commits.

He’s drunk every day and can’t even piss in the bowl. If he comes to our house again I will instruct him to go piss in the garden.

Amy is obviously upset at the treatment he receives in comparison to the way she is expected to behave. It is a stereotypical patriarchal behaviour that is perpetuated by her parents but not something Amy will stand for. But she also has to bide her time and play the game, so to speak, to make sure that she gets her fair share of inheritance in the future. Otherwise, he is likely to receive everything and even so, he might already end up pissing away the inheritance money before they even expire. We’ve seen it happen in other aunties’ families.

It surely is a frustrating situation though it doesn’t impact me directly at this stage. I just have to be supportive of Amy and listen to her troubles when she needs me.

It’s the start of another year and I’m not much into resolutions or planning for the year, just taking it as it comes. I’m still very happy with my place in the world on an individual basis and hope it can stay that way for the foreseeable future.

I hope this letter finds me still happy and content and maybe even a little wiser.
Take it easy
PastMe

Today I’m feeling:

A little better than last night, after a long sleep. I don’t think I even made it to 10pm.

The medicine I took seems to be helping my sore throat but it could also just be transforming into a runny nose and cough. I’ll try to stay positive and maybe that will fight off the viral demons.

I woke up during the night to pee and then took a while to get back to sleep as I was thinking about teaching verb tenses in class. Far out, brain! Calm yourself down!

At school, there was the opening ceremony for the Lead Youth Conference and there was a lot of messages flying around because the room wasn’t full and so even though I wasn’t invited I was told to rush upstairs to help fill the seats.

George and Kru Tang were the announcers and this role is perfect for George as it requires sounding sincere when it isn’t! He’s an expert at this. Job well done!

It did make me think about times when I was working in a corporate environment and we had big dos like this. Then, as I was younger, I just found it all boring. Now it’s still boring but fascinating in its facade.

Around midday, I was talking with David about nothing in particular when George walked around the corner on his way out. He gave a big smile to David and started a banal conversation, so as I was standing there, I looked George straight in the face but he wouldn’t give me any eye contact. He soon left, without a word to me.

This started off a conversation with David, where I finally told him all about what had happened between George and me in the past and he was pretty shocked.

David also told me about some behaviours that he noticed himself with George and that, knowing what I told him, confirmed his suspicions about his character.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The spare couple of hours at the end of the school day, which I used to fill up the car and buy some cheese at Makro before going back to sign out, though I ended up chatting with students past the sign-out time!

The best thing about today was:

Playing volleyball with the ‘naughty’ girls (Fah, Nicha, Namking, Tonaor) when I had an hour break between classes and wasn’t sure what to do during that time.

As we were playing, other students came and joined in, including some of the Japanese boys who are here for the conference.

I was surprised at myself at how good I felt when playing, after feeling less than stellar yesterday. My body is still feeling good about itself now that is evening.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Due to the conference this morning, most of my grade 12 class were absent. I knew this would happen and thought that I would just interview whoever was there about the topic that we are working on (sport).

At the class start time, there were no students at all and I stood chatting with David whilst waiting. Eventually, two students arrived so I thought perhaps more would come but the only others to come arrived about 15 minutes later and only came to the class room as they had nowhere else to go!

I told them it’s fine and that now that they were here, we could study. They all cried, ‘No – free time’, I said that if they stepped in the classroom, then we would have to study. Again, they cried ‘No’ and I laughed.

I think that in the end only 9 of the 46 students came and chilled in the classroom and I decided chatting with David was more interesting (as described above) and then some of the M3 students came to talk with us for about 20 minutes and by the end of all that the class time was finished anyway.

Chill, chill.

Something I learned today?

A boy in Baipad’s class was killed in a car crash two days ago. She told me that she had talked with him earlier that day. I think it made her feel numb as she didn’t really know what to say.

This morning, we talked about it a little bit and I asked her what she would say if it had happened to one of her friends sitting there with us. I told her that she had to prepare herself for this. She lost her father a few years ago, both her cats last year and now a classmate. It never stops!

Gitchi Odjig – 7th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments
Listening (Homage to Grandfather series) by Daphne Odjig

My heart still speaks kindness 
after everything my eyes have witnessed,
 echo this compassion to your generation.

Your blood is in my blood, 
this same blood lived in the rivers of your ancestors’ hearts.
“Grandson remain strong, this life is just a dream.”

Gianni Crow

Grandfather, I will try,
yet I can’t help wanting to wake up from this dream,
my angry blood washing the coasts.

Shall I pull a kindness spirit from my skin,
to kindle a flame for our family to share,
after everything my eyes have witnessed?

Grandfather guide me,
with the compassion shared through our generations,
the pull of the river drags at my feet.

Shall I sheaf the knife of revenge,
the blood spilt, a burden for my own family,
to break this cycle that is second nature?

Grandfather, with great strength
I have listened to the tales too terrible and whispered
around the fire of too many ghosts.

Shall I calm the fires of desire,
douse the light, whilst holding on to the flames of culture,
to consider these words for my children?

Grandfather, now I understand the dream
as I beheld the eyes of my grandchildren, newborn at night
and the eyes of the celestials looked back

I shall commune with The Great Fisher
when summer is born again and pass on your compassion
“Grandson remain strong, this life is just a dream.”

I’m mixing Native American ideas in this poem, and I probably show a lack of understanding of different myths and stories. I was initially pulled in by the quoted lines of Gianni Crow.

Then, looking through different myths, I found the story of the titular Great Fisher – Gotchi Odjig and then, looking for related art to accompany this piece, discovered Daphne Odjig’s fascinating work. The attached piece is suitably titled ‘Listening (Homage to Grandfather series)’. Daphne Odjig’s prints are available here at the Bearclaw Gallery.

17th Jan 2025 – Shared with dVerse OLN #376

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty healthy after a cold morning exercise of the legs. I feel a little bit of a sore throat, though and hope I don’t catch whatever Amy has had, which she is still coughing from.

(Later) Maybe I spoke too soon, as my throat is feeling worse and I’m a little dizzy again. I left school early as none of my students showed up in the afternoon and I got some medicine.

The angry driver from yesterday posted a story online and also contacted mum, as the car is registered in her name. I’m not sure what they want?

(Later) We checked the dashcam at Dad’s and though everyone was tense when they watched the video, they couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Just a crazy driver trying to make me crash.

Not sure what will happen next. Either way, I’ll take everyone’s advice to drive more carefully because there are some crazy hillbillies out there.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Nene who carried my jacket around for three hours after I left it in class and rushed off to the dentist. I gave her some candy in thanks.

The best thing about today was:

Banoffee at 22 Grams, along with their awesome coffee. The banoffee had the right balance of flavours.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My second class was suddenly cancelled and I didn’t want to hang around until 4.30 just to sign out. I took it as a message that I should go home early.

Something I learned today?

I need to be more careful when checking the AI work that gives me quizzes for the students. The class today were not capable of the level of some of the questions. I need to check them more accurately before class starts.

Just like I tell the kids that it’s ok to use AI but that you have to understand what it is telling you.

Vestige – 6th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Moulded out of mud, multiplied in mirrors
A simple rain may wash away our facades

Shared with Reena’s Xploration Challenge #361 – taking this couplet from Mirza Ghalib as inspiration

Whose crafty creation am I; the image implores –
Every image stands enrobed – but in paper robes

You can read more about it here.
Image courtesy of Web Urbanist highlighting Rob Mulholland‘s art installation Vestige.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good today which is kinda annoying. I wanted to feel this good during the holiday. Perhaps there’s some connection?

I skipped exercise this morning, easing myself back into the early starts. I’ll get up a little earlier tomorrow and get back to it. It was damn cold (and dark) this morning when I woke up.

It’s good to be back at school and around the kids again. They were all happy to be catching up with their friends.

Health:

Physical: 7 Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The two bananas that I took to school with me and ate before classes started. I bought some rice crackers later too and that was enough to keep my going through my busy Monday.

The best thing about today was:

The classes that I was a little worried about teaching today went well and students were in a surprisingly receptive mood.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another driver tried to run me off the road on the way home and I didn’t react well to it. Luckily there was no accident. They guy was hanging out of his window and looked a little amped up on meth!

I need to chill out too. It’s annoying to have to wait until the end of the day to leave because there is so much more traffic on the road at that time.

Something I learned today?

Ipswich drew 2-2 with Fulham and looked the better team for most of the game from the highlights that I saw. Not very important stuff in the big scheme of things though!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I let George wind me up again as I see him barely bothering to teach as he cut short his first class so that he could finish his grading files and then left his second class alone with no work whilst he was off doing something else for the school.

I know that I shouldn’t let it bother me….argh!

I chatted with Mike a little this afternoon. He will move from Primary to Mathayom next semester and he’s already looking forward to the relative freedom that this offers him. I advised him to not get too relaxed and to make sure that he is in class on time and teaches for the whole duration as much as possible.