Face the world alone with your suspicions Silently wake to the morning’s pledge Whisper in the darkness all your secrets Your novel nears the river’s edge
Board the vessel unable to steer The ache of nostalgia for the past Alone again, your secrets spilled The river flows along, wide and vast
Surprisingly good despite only 5 hours of sleep and waking up still drunk. I know it will catch up with me later, but right now I’m getting myself set for the flight back to Chiang Rai.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
The Casa Luna homestay in Siam that was in a good location and reasonably priced. Nothing extravagant but everything that we needed.
The best thing about today was:
Getting home. It’s nice to go away but it’s also nice at home.
I’m also surprised how well I feel considering how much I drank last night.
Something I learned today?
Ipswich lost their first game of their return to the Premier League, 2-0 at home to Liverpool. From the look of the highlights, they seemed to do well for the first 60 minutes, though.
I took this picture yesterday at Union Mall because I was surprised to see a Junji Ito t-shirt here.
I have no time for winter blues A clear sky has little else to choose Gone is the rain That flooded my brain It’s a return to the mountain views
Pouring the sunshine out of our hearts Deep in the valley, the cloud departs High season, no joke Then awaiting the smoke Of burning fields when summer restarts
Submitted to dVerse Zeugmatically Speaking and inspired by other poems written there. Not quite sure I’ve hit the mark with this one and I find limericks to be lazy poems but this one fell into place.
Today I’m feeling:
Slow to go but woke up before my alarm and had to get moving soon enough to get to the airport where I’m sitting now, caffeinated and ready to fly.
Still coughing, slight headache but at least a change of scenery ahead.
Health:
Physical: 5 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
A surprise appearance of Jessica at lunchtime. Amy told me that we were meeting an old high school friend of hers and when we arrived, I was surprised at how much she looked like Jess, and it took me a second to realise.
The best thing about today was:
A little bit of shopping at Union Mall and Central Lad Prao, which Amy let me put on the Westpac card. A new bottle of Bath and Body Works perfume and a shirt and pants for work.
In the evening, we went to the Red Sky bar, which is a rooftop bar where we had expensive snacks and cocktails as part of a deal. It was nice enough but we didn’t want to stay for more.
Amy found a jazz bar and posted pictures on Facebook of the rooftop bar in the meantime. Soon after, we got a message from Aing and we asked her to come and meet us.
We arrived at the Saxophone Bar at around 9 pm and soon enough Aing, Now and Nu arrived and we got stuck into more cocktails and a bottle of Jack Daniels apple flavour.
We had a good time catching up and Amy and Nu enjoyed dancing to the live band.
Afterwards, Aing was kind enough to drop us back to our hotel at around 2.30 am and we quickly got stuck into a short sleep.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I managed to pick up a copy of a book that Baipad really wanted in CentralWorld.
A freight train of bodies dumped into the sea A nightmare lost in the fog of history Knock down the bridges, build a wall of bones Shut in with golden fish, the moans Of a madman to the fringes lifts Decrepit and depraved, fives and fifths The swamp city fell under a hurricane Rose and fell in unfolded patterns again
Submitted to Poets and Storytellers United and inspired by 100 Years of Solitude, which I haven’t yet read but based this on a couple of synopses I found. I’m looking forward to reading this one day.
Today I’m feeling:
Tired, despite sleeping early. I had planned to get back to full exercise this morning but needed an extra 30 minutes’ sleep and even that wasn’t enough. I’m coughing more and feeling a little wheezy and consequently, my mood is a little low too.
It’s another event day (Lanna and art) so my morning classes are cancelled and I’m free to read and write. Just my grade 8s in the afternoon and then home.
Tomorrow we’re due to head to Bangkok to surprise Nong Dao for her birthday, though Jimmy sent a message that she has a stomach infection, so we’re not sure if the party they’ve planned will go ahead or not. We have non-refundable tickets, so we’ll travel anyway.
Health:
Physical: 5 Mental: 6
Today I’m grateful for:
A lot of free time again on what is usually my busiest day. I caught up on some reading and did a lot of writing, though was not particularly happy with the output. My brain is still a little uninspired.
The best thing about today was:
Watching my grade 8 class improve after giving them the same speaking exercise but with different partners for three days running.
I felt like they were actually putting what they learned in class into practice for a change. They also seemed to enjoy themselves.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My cough is a little out of control and I handled it the only way possible, by coughing. Lots of my students are similarly afflicted.
Something I learned today?
This evening, we found out that Nong Dao is in the hospital and her party was cancelled. Oh well, Amy will figure out meeting some other friends and a nice dinner somewhere.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Grade 9 August told me it was her 15th birthday today, so I ducked into the cafe again to buy her a piece of chocolate cake.
I didn’t sleep particularly well and woke up at one point with a disconcerting dream where I was trying to find my friends in an AFL stadium but ended up outside, around a car parking area and went through a fire exit door that led into a dank dark wide stairwell and off to the side, a cavernous tunnel dug through the concrete, dirt and rock, the pathway littered with old beer bottles. Obviously, a place for nefarious folks to gather.
As I stepped through, a dodgy youngster stepped out of the shadow, saying, ‘Well, well, what have we here? Welcome to The Pricks.’ I replied with a ‘What?’ And attempted to get back to the fire door to exit, somehow knowing and submitting to the fact that I wasn’t going to make it and my legs were as if stuck in treacle.
Unable to face my fate, I woke myself up, wondering who won the football and scared to go back to sleep.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
My old student Cake, who is in grade 10 now, is in the Science Program and aiming to be a doctor. She took me to the stand where she was demonstrating what worms are made up of and how they work.
She looks and behaves so grown up now that last Thursday, when students don’t need to wear a uniform, I mistook her for a teacher!
Also, Jet, who showed me a little about how Instagram works and Tonaor, who showed me how to follow everyone in their class.
The best thing about today was:
Watching some of my students perform a dance routine that I had seen them practising for the last few weeks. I thought that they were just doing it for fun but I was amazed at how professional they were when they were on stage today.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I arrived back at school at 10:20 to discover that today is Science Day and many of my 10:30 grade 12 class were taking part in it and those that weren’t wanted to go and watch them. Well, ok, I guess.
I didn’t know anything about this (though I do know that tomorrow is another event that disrupts my classes) but I rolled with it and went to check it out for a little while too. It was pretty fun, though I’m not sure how the sexy dancing competition fit into the theme of the event but everyone seemed to be having a good time.
After an hour, I headed back for more coffee and reading and writing ( and my final grade 8) class, asking to skip today to go to the event, but we all knew that it would be finished by then and they were just trying it on.
I took it easy with them, though and we had a fun class practising what we did yesterday, introductions and asking conversational questions and I came up with an interesting idea for them to try next week. Basically, getting each of my grade 8 classes to go and record themselves interacting with each other, having the same type of conversations. It will push them a little and will show me who is motivated.
Something I learned today?
In the Middle Ages, what we now call a hedgehog was called an urchin. That’s a fairly useless piece of information.
I also heard about a Palestinian man who went to register the birth of his three-day-old twins and came home to find that Israel had bombed the apartment where they were staying (as they had been displaced) killing the babies, their mother (who was a well-liked doctor) and grandmother.
Sickeningly, some Israeli online commenters said that they were happy to have taken away everything from this man.
This is how terrorists are made.
I took this picture because we had a visitor again when I got home. Uncle cowman had already chased him out one time today but there must be something good with our grass. I didn’t chase him out, hoping to get some free lawn mowing. Our cats looked on, slightly bemused.
Average to fair. Didn’t sleep for long enough again but forced myself up and to do a little 10-minute exercise and hope to start getting back into it.
I still have headaches and my voice and throat is still a little sore and croaky. I’m in a reasonable headspace though.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
My adaptability. As I’m entering details into the blog from when I started working in high school at CRPAO I can see how I have managed to adapt myself to the environment and become more flexible and understanding.
The best thing about today was:
Jet, Lin and Mai, my old grade 9 students, love touching my belly for some reason but today Lin squealed and called over Jet and they were both disappointed to feel that I have lost some belly fat.
I’m not actually sure that I have but this made me feel good that perhaps some of the exercising that I have been doing these past few years may be having some small effect.
Something I learned today?
I spoke to Hayden yesterday and he has moved into a new place, which he seems happy with. He also reckons he’s on for a new workplace which will give him a little more money and better working conditions. I hope that he gets that.
He has a few days off and is flying down to Melbourne to get a tattoo. Seems a long way to go just for a tattoo but, I guess he’ll be doing other stuff whilst there. I think his mum is still supporting him too much but he’s slowly getting there to stand on his own two feet.
Amy took this picture because sometimes we can get our grass cut for free!
Super tired as I definitely didn’t catch up on any missed sleep from Sunday night. Never mind. I’ll have to try tonight.
I was looking forward to sitting down with some coffee and free time when my grade 9 students called me and asked to move their class from the afternoon to this morning again.
As this kinda suits me too, leaving the afternoon free, I rushed back and we went in search of a free room, ending up in the library.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Nong Kratae for helping out Anchan as much as she can. It may not be much and it may not be enough for Anchan but Kratae is offering some hope at least. I will have to think of something that I can do for her as thanks one day. And I will ask Anchan for suggestions and if she can contribute in some way too.
The best thing about today was:
I felt my health improve a little over the day, especially mentally. Somehow, being at school is picking me up mentally, whilst seemingly running me down physically.
I was particularly energised after my grade 8 class finished at 12.30 but I didn’t leave school for another 45 minutes as various groups of students came to distract me, wanting to chat.
Something I learned today?
After much hassling from my students, I installed Instagram and TikTok and have been trying to work out how they work and if they are even remotely useful for me.
I still don’t quite get them or how they work. At the end of the day, I just want to use this software to stay in contact with my students in the future.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
As I was contemplating being able to finish early and go home, Anchan messaged me asking to go with her to Nong Kratae’s for the first time today this afternoon.
I guess as I wasn’t due to finish until 4.30 pm anyway, then it’s not a big deal and I’m hanging around at House catching up on reading and writing. Trying to get my brain back into poem-writing mode after a few days away from writing.
Tonkhaw took this picture because….he was happy to see his teacher hard at work, perhaps?
‘Low-life’ Jonny is feeling low Thinking nothing can be fixed I’d really love to see him grow And to get his message unmixed
Why does he hate himself so much? Always putting others down too Has he got a sensitive touch That he’s hiding from me and you?
I don’t know why Jonny feels so bad Maybe he didn’t get the news That there’s no need to feel so sad And it’s something he can choose
Written for a contest at AllPoetry.com about Bad Jonny himself.
Today I’m feeling:
A little rough in the stomach this morning but maybe all the chilli last night has blown away my headache and sore throat.
We didn’t get home until 1 am and I woke up at first at my regular wake-up time but slept a little more before forcing myself up.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 6
Today I’m grateful for:
Cheese and the store-brand vintage cheddar from Makro, which is reasonably priced. I just have to remember that we have it in the fridge because generally, now I don’t have cheese with any meals.
The best thing about today was:
Packing up a bunch of vinyl to send to Nampan from SpeechOdd, hopefully tomorrow. I need to get these records into their hands where they can sell them at shows.
I felt productive at least.
I also managed to get some guitar playing in today, too and noticed a slight improvement.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Takky came over for lunch with Amy, which continued for 7 hours into dinnertime too. Amy said that he is much more himself again after all the stress of his PhD work.
I let them get on with it whilst I was doing my stuff and didn’t hassle Amy to make me food as I had the cheese and her soft, sweet bread rolls to keep me going.
Something I learned today?
I learned a new finger exercise on guitar that I should try and remember and practice often. You know, along with everything else that I should do!
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I donated a copy of the High Voltage/SpeechOdd LP to put on display at Utopia.
I put Anchan in touch with Nong Kratae at the English Place and Champ has also supplied some information that may be useful for her.
I took this picture because the canopy over our entertainment area is evolving into a flowery grotto.
A 15-year-old girl executed by fascists Was the superhero in this tale The revolution was real on the ground The freedom fight must never fail
No one else came to save the day A deus ex machina, just an invention A teenager who trusted herself Guided by virtuous intention
Real heroes often lose their heads The blade brings a sudden halt Left a monument to liberation Against the brutal fascist assault
Inspired by the story of Liu Hulan who was executed by the KMT (who were supported by the USA)
Today I’m feeling:
Tired and a little out of it. I think that I might get kick-started with some coffee but could just as easily go the other way and nap some more!
(later) I haven’t napped but have had a pretty constant headache.
Health:
Physical: 4 Mental: 6
Today I’m grateful for:
Amy for letting me rest a little and watch the Volleyball with Mum and Dad whilst she was preparing all our food for dinner.
The best thing about today was:
After dinner Amy wanted to sing karaoke with Aun and Priyao and so I was left to watch Netflix in the other air-conditioned room and I watched The Wandering Earth, based on Liu Cixin’s novel.
A cool story but held back by a Hollywood-style screenplay.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
My laziness and poor health have kept me out of my room today and lodged in front of the TV with a headache.
A little of this is in part knowing that we go to Amy’s parents for Mother’s Day this evening and I’m conserving energy for that. And as tomorrow is a holiday I can catch up a little then.
Something I learned today?
I saw Shiso for sale in Makro. I was tempted to buy it and and just eat it there and then!
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I got a message from Anchan yesterday asking me to tutor her on weekends as she needs to catch up on her language skills to take an exam for a school in Chiang Mai.
Today she added that she wants to get away from her grandmum here in Chiang Rai as she found out that her mum was sentenced to one and a half years in prison in Myanmar and not six months, which would be up soon.
I can’t tutor on weekends, though. I’m already so tired and today, in particular, really feeling my age. I gave her some ideas but I’m curious about her commitment to pulling herself through.
Is the door ajar? Is Debbie looking in? Her eyes drew me closer Mine, all set to spin
Held me tight in embrace Touched by your presence dear Kissed me under the swamp tree Woke up, sudden and clear
The door was not ajar
Submitted to dVerse prompts – jar and dreams and inspired by a dream I had after watching Blondie’s ‘Touched By Your Presence Dear’ on TV, where I swore that she was looking and talking to me, so powerful was the dream that the next day I went to the tree in the swampy woods and waited for her to appear again. Predictably, she did not.
Today I’m feeling:
A little tired and dizzy.
Today I’m grateful for:
Being able to watch the Swans just get over the line against Collingwood this morning. I gave up on them but they somehow pulled it off.
The best thing about today was:
Putting together the sleeves and vinyl for the High Voltage/SpeechOdd split and figuring out how to get rid of as many of these things as possible!
It gave me a little more motivation, though my energy soon ran out again.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I came back from my room at about 4 pm and started watching videos and thought it would be a good idea to eat the last weed gummy in the fridge. A couple of hours later and my head was spinning badly and I felt nauseous. I went to pee but soon had to stop as I needed to throw up and out came the chewed-up gummy and a couple of Amy’s delicious cookies.
Thankfully, I felt much better after that but couldn’t do anything except watch another four hours of The Boys, finishing off Season 2.
I ended up forgetting to write here and catching up on Sunday morning.
Something I learned today?
I think that’s it for weed for me. I’m too old for that shit now!
Are you sick and tired of the same old thing Or are you happy enough? Tell me When does so much become so little? When does too little become too much?
It feels like you’ve been here before These are familiar words you sing Wheels spinning Stuck on the rat race treadmill Are you sick and tired of the same old thing?
A trophy wife and trophy life Surrounded by all this glittering stuff Are you empty? Is that a constant nagging inside Or are you happy enough?
I have so many questions Are you certain of all that you see? Never wrong? I don’t believe everything that you Tell me
The Joneses are growing bigger Your ego inflexible and brittle Tired of waiting Believing it’s always your turn When does so much become so little?
Your debt to yourself is catching up Your life is empty (as such) Left with no thing Just sand slipping through your fingers When does too little become too much?
A little better today after all that sleep yesterday. I ended up waking a little early this morning, took a while to get myself going but my first two classes were fun and easy.
I feel freaking hot though, my body seems to be working overtime to get rid of whatever is making me sick. No fever though.
Today I’m grateful for:
Getting through the day in reasonably good shape. I was tired but energised again after another bowl of Pla Tom from Chef Amy. I think I’ll sleep well tonight if I can keep this little cough under control.
The best thing about today was:
On my way to my last class, I found 4 of the students that I had penalised for not submitting work yesterday furiously writing it all out in the canteen. I stood over them for about a minute and they were so focused they didn’t realise I was there.
When they all looked up they gave me a half-upset and annoyed look, along with an ‘ok, I fucked up’ half-smile.
They were wonderfully behaved in my class today and we all had a good time.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was all set to teach in my normal room with aircon this morning when another teacher came along and kicked the kids out. We easily found another room but unfortunately, without aircon.
To be honest, the aircon doesn’t make that much difference when a room is full off sweaty teenagers (and a sweaty old man!).
In the past, I might have let this sudden change bother me but now I can deal with it easily.
Something I learned today?
I learned that the US Anti-Doping Agency, which monitors for performance-enhancing drugs in sports, let off offenders and allowed them to keep competing so long as they dobbed in other cheaters!
This same agency has now accused the Chinese swimmers of being drug cheats at the Olympics, even though they were tested 3 times more than any other country and passed every test.
The anti-China rhetoric has jumped the shark.
I took this picture because earlier in the week, Baipad had alerted me to a Facebook auction with this Gloomy Bear plushie. I bid 220 baht and won and here he is sitting on the shelf next to my bed. It gives me the opportunity to give back the plushie that Baicard gave me on Teacher’s Day 4 years ago and had been sitting there collecting dust ever since.
1994ever 