A little blurry in the morning as I recovered from a few shots of Glenfiddich last night, giving me at least a good reason to feel dizzy.
I took my laptop to Utopia and did a little catching up on things whilst there and a couple of coffees got me good and awake.
After a snack and some video watching, I hopped into bed to read some comics, expecting to get sleepy and have a nap, however, the coffees decided it would be better for me to stay awake and I got up again and went out to my room to play guitar, which was loud and enjoyable.
Soon enough, it was time to head to Mum and Dad’s for dinner, which I am now recovering from.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Trying out some pizza from a city restaurant and getting it delivered by Grab. Easy life.
The best thing about today was:
Wishing ten or so random poets at AllPoetry.com a happy new year while commenting on their work.
Something I learned today?
I learned how to set up a symbolic link across my different drives so that I can load all my comics into one common repository.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I had a reasonable chat with Nong Fah today, trying to encourage her to use more than one or two-word answers to questions.
Whilst chatting, she also told me that she is a little worried about changing to high school next year. I told her that I understood but that I thought that she would be fine.
Super tired as I definitely didn’t catch up on any missed sleep from Sunday night. Never mind. I’ll have to try tonight.
I was looking forward to sitting down with some coffee and free time when my grade 9 students called me and asked to move their class from the afternoon to this morning again.
As this kinda suits me too, leaving the afternoon free, I rushed back and we went in search of a free room, ending up in the library.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Nong Kratae for helping out Anchan as much as she can. It may not be much and it may not be enough for Anchan but Kratae is offering some hope at least. I will have to think of something that I can do for her as thanks one day. And I will ask Anchan for suggestions and if she can contribute in some way too.
The best thing about today was:
I felt my health improve a little over the day, especially mentally. Somehow, being at school is picking me up mentally, whilst seemingly running me down physically.
I was particularly energised after my grade 8 class finished at 12.30 but I didn’t leave school for another 45 minutes as various groups of students came to distract me, wanting to chat.
Something I learned today?
After much hassling from my students, I installed Instagram and TikTok and have been trying to work out how they work and if they are even remotely useful for me.
I still don’t quite get them or how they work. At the end of the day, I just want to use this software to stay in contact with my students in the future.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
As I was contemplating being able to finish early and go home, Anchan messaged me asking to go with her to Nong Kratae’s for the first time today this afternoon.
I guess as I wasn’t due to finish until 4.30 pm anyway, then it’s not a big deal and I’m hanging around at House catching up on reading and writing. Trying to get my brain back into poem-writing mode after a few days away from writing.
Tonkhaw took this picture because….he was happy to see his teacher hard at work, perhaps?
Lazy to get up but I’m enjoying the ache in my body from exercise. I’m already reminiscing about the lost time of this holiday despite actually being more productive than last year. I’ve got into the groove of taking it easy and am now feeling anxious about getting busy again in the next couple of weeks. Though I know well that I can deal with it easily enough.
Today I’m grateful for:
A brief small storm at around 7pm that whilst not hanging around for long meant a drop in temperature that even allowed us to turn the aircon off for a while!
The best thing about today was:
Tigger coming for cuddles about 7 or 8 times. He’s getting more affectionate with his age.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I didn’t get a chance to read more of my book today as I ended up busy with other things. I did get some comic reading in and a chapter from another book that I delve into every now and then.
Something I learned today?
A US senator was complaining that a bag of steel brackets needed for weaponry was costing 90,000 dollars. A Chinese seller responded offering to sell the same thing for 8 dollars! And the reality is that US Defence spending from Chinese sources has quadrupled over the last few years. So the US military is becoming dependent on parts for war with China that are….made in China!
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent Anchan a little more money so that she can get back to Chiang Rai as she is stuck in a village outside Chiang Mai at the moment.
I helped Amy moving around some furniture on the terrace as she wanted to change it up. It looks good and change is good.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
Despite the last two days of not enjoying playing guitar I picked it up again for about 20 minutes and was a little happier with my ability.
What are my thoughts on growing older?
In the last couple of years, I’ve enjoyed the wisdom that age has brought me but recently, with the feeling of time disappearing too quickly, I’m pining for the days of boredom I used to endure as a teenager.
Too much knowledge is a dangerous thing? I know it’s just the way of looking at it. Perhaps I am bored now but don’t really know it?
It can’t be helped to wonder about being able to live your life over again but now I have to take a positive attitude with me with what remains.
I took this picture yesterday and along with other garden pictures sent them to Sharon and Rob.
I’m pouring rainbows down on you Until your cup is filled You’ll overflow with a love so true It can never be killed All your seeds will bear fruit In fields never to be tilled Joy spread deep from the root A life spent fulfilled
Pretty good after a long sleep from the day of travelling yesterday. Should be a relaxing day ahead.
Today I’m grateful for:
Aircon. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this but today was freaking unbearable outside between 10am (when I woke up) and around 6pm. Even just going to the kitchen or bathroom was a chore. It’s going to be hotter this coming week too!
The best thing about today was:
I didn’t do much to speak of today though when the sun did finally relent I enjoyed watering the parched earth in the garden.
Something I learned today?
Charles Cunningham Boycott (12 March 1832 – 19 June 1897) was an English land agent whose ostracism by his local community in Ireland gave the English language the term boycott.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I gave Art and Noey some gifts of candy that I picked up at the market in Chiang Saen yesterday.
What’s a recent realization I’ve had about myself?
I’m starting to BE old. I’m not in need of thrills or excitement so much these days.
I think I realised this when I think about travelling overseas. When I think about going somewhere with Amy I’m not so interested in planning things to do and where to go.
When I see people in places on YouTube videos I think that might be nice to go and see but I’ve just seen it pretty well. I would be taking the same photos every other traveller has taken. I feel like I may not be able to savour it deep into my soul like I might have done before. I’m much more amenable to just getting on a tour bus and letting others deal with logistics.
Having said that I’m still interested in organising a tour for a band around Southeast Asia and dealing with the stress of that, perhaps because the shows would give me the drive and inspiration I’d need.
Perhaps this is not a great realisation but has crossed my mind more recently.
Amy took this picture because this princess was enjoying our (relatively) expensive prawns yesterday.
Raise a toast from the bottle of heartbreak Tears mist the eyes of dead teenage butterflies These wounds become a comfort given time Waxing poetic about the expected surprise
These are the happy things, preparing for grief The painful goodbyes in the rear-view mirror Bigger, brighter things are on the way to love Slowly, gently, this will all become clearer
A little lazy. I was going to get up with my alarm but still sleepy, Amy almost shouted at me from her bed, getting up, where are you going….? Jesus, let me wake up a little! I brushed my teeth, took a piss and got back into bed for another hour of sleep where I had a dream about us being able to drive on a piece of A4 paper as if it was a car!
Today I’m grateful for:
The trees that Amy’s mum planted on our land years before we came here and have grown to provide great shade from the sun but now have gotten so big that their roots threaten to cause problems to the foundations of our buildings. We will cut four and I hope the remaining three will be able to grow faster and stronger to provide shade again into the spaces that will be left.
The best thing about today was:
Having a tidy garden again once the gardeners had finished their work, the smell of cut grass wafting through the house.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’ve noticed (again) that I don’t really like being in my man cave so much – it’s not quite comfortable for me and whereas in the living room of our house I feel like I am centred, in my room I feel like I am on the periphery. It’s only a remove of about six metres but it makes all the difference.
I’m having to force myself to go there to get certain things done and figuring out ways to do other things back in the living room without having all my stuff scattered around. This is a compromise of Amy’s return to our home.
Something I learned today?
An avocado is a berry.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I wished Noey a happy holiday as this will be the last time I see her at Utopia until next year.
I bought an onion in the local market and thanked the lady who commented that I spoke good Thai.
I nodded appropriately to the gardener who explained what they would do to our trees though I only caught a few words. I could understand the gist especially when he pointed at some leaves that looked like they were getting eaten by some bug.
I did the washing this morning, hung it out and brought it back in in the evening.
I shampooed Tigger’s head as he is getting the scabs again that he got last year around this time. He wasn’t happy but accepted his fate well enough and of course, went outside as soon as he could and rolled around in the dirt again. He really loves our home.
What changes did I experience this year?
The biggest change has been at home of course, with Amy being back in the house, cleaning up and bossing me around.
Other changes have been more subtle, such as my slow improvement to health and fitness. Also my adjustment in confidence when riding the motorbike since coming off it.
And if I look closely I can see signs of my skin sagging a little around my cheeks and neck as my I struggle with gravity. Even lying down can’t help.
I took this picture because here’s one tree down, and three more tomorrow. It’s going to look so odd for a little while.
Slept early last night and got up early ready to go for a ride with Bruno, up to Doi Chang.
I was too early for Utopia but felt pumped to be going on a long ass ride. Once getting into the mountains the cool clean air tickled my nose with the now-familiar smells of fresh growth foliage and flowers. All the food stalls around added to the perfume and even the small fires around reminded me of camping trips from days gone by.
It was a joy to be out there today.
Today I’m grateful for:
Bruno being the way he is and leading us to accidentally drink civet-shit coffee overlooking a glorious long valley view.
The owners also gave us a fresh avocado with local honey and Bruno asked if they had any more to which he was told sure, just go pick them. They went off under the terrace and picked up 4 or 5 big cricket balls from high up using a net on a 3-metre bamboo pole. I love that Bruno will just go and do what takes his fancy and it always ends us up in interesting situations
The best thing about today was:
The ride down from Doi Chang and through Doi Wawee was just beautiful and Wawee especially was a pretty village. The school had just let out students at midday and we drove up past the gates. The school is magnificent, sculpted up the hillside, and looks impeccable. All the kids were happy and playful as they tumbled out down the hill.
Riding through these places made me reflect a bit more on my place in Thailand and as a teacher. I can understand more about the teacher’s and the student’s apathy when I see the places where they live and the lack of opportunities and ambition around them. I give them a hard time to make the best of themselves and now I recognise those soft faces looking up at me quietly expressing, ‘What’s the point?’
Once on the road back to Mae Chan, I got stuck behind a van with about ten school students stuffed in the back along with various packages, parcels and goods. They were all happily, lazily chatting and looking at their phones, perhaps just being in the happy childhood state of not knowing what is going to happen next, where they are going or what they will do when they arrive.
In opposition, all I wanted to do was overtake the van but the roads were too twisty to be able to get around. I just wanted to get home to where I knew exactly everything that will happen. I wished I could go back to that state of happiness that comes from interruptions to boredom, saying yes to anything, just to hang out a bit longer.
When I was like that I was usually the last one home.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I thought I would struggle with not having my usual two morning coffees but for some reason, I was just psyched to be riding and didn’t really want to stop anywhere until we got ‘there’, wherever the next ‘there ‘ was.
At the end of the 7-hour ride, covered in mud, dirt and dust I dropped into Utopia for coffee finally and they all wondered why I hadn’t been in the morning.
Something I learned today?
I learned that civet shit coffee tastes smooth but is overpriced and overrated.
What was I like as a child?
The same as I am now but less grown up….in effect, I am still a child, it is just that I have learned how to handle adult responsibilities.
I took this picture because we nearly missed this shop but glad we turned back to stop and check out this incredible view.
The words I write, they are for me Sure to be making assumptions We are brothers and sisters in arms (and anyone that cares to fall between)
Sometimes listening to the wind Eases my burden, settles my heart
The hard code of my heart Has been passed along for generations back to the dawn of time
Now at this time of life, whenever it is Let’s hope the engine keeps running
I only stop learning to rest my eyes Things long gone are encoded and not forgotten Whatever is coming towards me Is all a part of nature’s play
A paraphrasing of section 1 of Walt Whitman’s Song For Myself 2nd May 2024 – Submitted to dVerse
Today I’m feeling:
Like I had a long day with three two-hour classes. I enjoy the days filled with work just as much as the days with little to do. I don’t really have a chance to think about how I’m feeling until I get home, have a cold shower and rest my aching legs. By that time I’m happy with the work being completed.
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Tongjai for offering to write some instructions for my classes in Thai to help sort out the login problems I was having with Quizizz. She said she would do it at around midday. However during my classes that morning I figured out how to fix the problem myself and finally understood how it worked. When I saw her in the afternoon I told her I had sorted it out and she was happy because she had gotten called away to do something else too. I’ve learned to trust in things working out in time but this one was getting me worried as all my lessons are arranged around using the website. As I’ve been looking deeper into the website reporting I am also seeing more and more great options for the classroom. So I am grateful to Quizizz too.
The best thing about today was:
As mentioned above, figuring out fixing that problem felt pretty good. Along with that was some welcome rain and a continued good feeling amongst the students at school.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Finding out my student lists are all messed up was a bit annoying but then I remembered that this happens every year. One upside of this was figuring out who students were by their student ID numbers stitched onto their uniforms in Thai script. I need to learn how their numbers are written.
Something I learned today?
Looking at what I’ve written already I can see that I’ve learned many things today that are at least of some use in my day-to-day life. Maybe not substantial life-changing knowledge but useful at least.
What changes am I experiencing in my life right now?
Some physical changes due to aging such as getting tired more easily and not being able to get all my pee put easily. Will the upside of that be that I won’t suffer incontinence though maybe kidney stones instead? As to mental changes, I believe I am still learning and getting smarter each day. I think I’m happier as I age too, the irony of which is not lost on me. As to life in general I don’t feel like there are any significant changes really. Nothing beyond what I can expect. There will be a change soon enough when Amy gets back in October which will have to be dealt with but I feel confident we will work things out for the best.
I took this picture from the top floor of our school building because I have to remind myself how nice it is here. I am comfortable and relaxed with my work stresses. Things are going well.
Letting others speak, even some nasty words Tells you almost everything you need to know Rather they, than you, put a foot in it It’s a wonderful lesson for truth to grow
You can’t change what happened but what happens from here is up to you.
owner of Cerro Gordo
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to change up my first lesson today to start outside – give the kids and me something different to do.
After 3 busy, fun classes today, I can say that the kids are inspiring. In the morning, we did running dictation outside, which was a nice break from being in the classroom. Funny how some days the vibe is not quite right and other times everyone has a good time. So, it’s good to take it day by day and not stress when the bad ones happen.
After school yesterday, I went to Bruno’s and we went for our usual two circuit walk, to take me over 10,000 steps for the day. We talked about what happened with George last week and I feel OK with it and that it has told me more about him than he tried to imply about me. I also read about how some of us just prefer to be alone and are often criticised by those who are more social. I can accept George for the way he is – I can’t control it and it’s not my place to. It feels like he cannot do the same. So, whatever, as they say.
When I got home, I had a shower and a spoonful of kratom and felt awesome again, though I didn’t make it to my room to practice keyboard and guitar. Hopefully tonight.
What age-related adjustments have you recently made, style-wise, beauty-wise, health-wise?
The most obvious adjustment for me is health-wise, with cutting down on alcohol almost completely and doing more regular exercise. As a slow learner, I finally figured out to start small and build on the habit. Many of us are like that.
Beauty and style-wise, there’s not much of anything since bleaching my hair, giving up on trying to make my pepper hair black. I think I’ve been like this for 5 or more years already. It’s cool to have bleached hair in Thailand, as dark hair is pretty much the norm.
Maybe learning keyboard and guitar can be considered age-related adjustments; some things I now consider possible for me to learn, whereas I didn’t really have the opportunity before.
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