The stories we tell always change To suit the audience being told Fake news has been around forever The preposterous tales of old
Legends live on in our minds To moralise for the present Made obvious for the new generation Who is bad and who is pleasant
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to the two guys who make the You Don’t Know Mojack podcast as they have introduced me to good music that I would maybe never hear otherwise.
I don’t know how many months now that it has been that I have been trying to play Scarborough Fair 100% accurately on guitar. It made me mad and then I got all ‘whatever’, thinking that one day it will come. I’m still waiting for that day. The chord change from Dm to F was/is the main stumbling block and when I do manage it I end up not quite nailing something else. Never give up. I do fucking hate this song now though.
I’m out in my room and can hear Amy screaming inside. I don’t mean screaming scared but just drunkenly emoting loudly on the phone. She does get excited after a couple of wines.
Good classes today. Some testing students but not too bad. I’m pretty calm most of the time now.
Feed the cats, iron the shirts, wash the dishes My wife has gone with the bestest of my wishes She did so much and I even paid But without her, I realise that I need a maid
First-world problems, yes, I understand Pleasure and housework don’t go hand in hand Now I’m wishing that my wife had stayed Cos I don’t want to admit that I need a maid
I am so happy and grateful to Amy’s parents for understanding her and not making any crazy demands of her.
A reasonable Monday with a couple of classes. Felt good, students playful but did their work. Did they learn anything? I’m not so sure! Keep plugging away.
I’ve had lots of thoughts go through my head that I though might be interesting to write down but I failed to capture them at the time and now they’ve left the long winding river, somewhere out of reach. If they’re important enough, I’m sure they will float back sometime.
There’s no problem between us I’d never tell you you have to stay We are always together at heart Even after you’ve gone away
Our dreams are sometimes different And other times they are the same We push each other to realise them Cos our love will always remain
With the latest technology We are merely a whisper apart It may be a while ’til we meet again But you always remain in my heart
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for Google Translate. It can help make the parents aware of their children’s work and to push them to complete it.
On Friday afternoon, I started to enjoy a grim feeling. Lethargic, sour thoughts, dizziness. I got home and vegitated with some Netflix but I couldn’t enjoy it.
I woke up feeling good on Saturday but soon this sad feeling appeared again. I was very aware of it. Anything I watched or read compounded it; nothing was contributing anything good to the world.
I slept a little and in the evening read a load of comics and a little bit of Rollins ‘Stay Fanatic’. I thought that perhaps I should understand clearly what Rollins was saying about the power of music and he hides himself in the melodies and nuance of those sounds. Perhaps I should’ve tried the same.
Today, I’m feeling ok again and intend to indulge myself in some music – just listening, nothing else. Something familiar.
I’ve recently been adverse to going to my man cave. Something about it displeases me and I can’t quite figure out what. Could be time for a rearrangement. I want a comfy armchair to relax on. I rarely see comfy armchairs in Thailand.
Is life too easy? Why is it so difficult to be bored these days? I need to be bored to be inventive – to break the cycle of boredom. Wandering around looking for something to do. Perhaps a return to England would help me to be bored again?
Actually, by rights, I should be bored here. I don’t speak the language well, we live in the middle of nowhere, no music scene as such – why am I not bored? Not in the way I used to be at least.
I was thinking about what it would feel like going to shows again – perhaps I would be bored with that now? Been there – done that! I get my doses of youthful energy through my students these days – though I feel sorry for them, unsure of their futures – maybe just as I was unsure of mine at their age. Some of them have a fire inside and I don’t want to see that extinguished and hope I can be a minor kindling for them. Do I care too much?
Yesterday was a long day at Amy’s parents. I tried to drink bee but my stomach feeling sore and I couldn’t make it through the second bottle. Having not drunk for so long I felt light-headed with the first bottle. Amy’s parents provided great food which lasted through lunch to dinner!
Takky and Amy drank and drank and sang and sang karaoke with Amy’s parents. I felt surprise at Amy’s dad being 74 and still drinking through a couple of bottle of Regency. That’s some stamina.
I amused myself on my phone and a couple of bike trips to buy more alcohol for them, including a nice sun-setting ride along the new river path that we’d watched being built from De Lanna a couple of years ago.
Every time I have a holiday from school, I don’t want to go back but also want that routine of getting up and doing something.
Amy is talking more about going to the UK or Australia for extended periods and potentially I could stop working. I’m thinking I would stay in our cafe/teaching room and the local uni students could come and hang out and practice their English with me, just on a casual basis. It could be nice or I could just end up lazy too, and watch TV and read books alone.
Well, let’s see. Read back on this in the future and see where life took.
16th Jul 2025 – Since this time, I’ve continued to work and enjoy it more and more, so that even now, if I had the possibility to stop working, I don’t think that I would. Amy went to Australia for around 18 months but is back now, a bit more settled but due more to circumstance, with both Cap and her Dad being sick. Otherwise, I think that she would be off again.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to Amy’s parents for preparing their house and food for my birthday yesterday. Everyone had a good time and it was a good feeling.
*So many things to be late for How can anyone keep up? Have you heard the latest Gossip overflows its cup It’s a big world of T.M.I. Mindless work is just distraction Just time for another meeting To discuss avoiding action
*I read this line somewhere and was immediately taken by it and wrote it in a notebook. Then remembered it again when I was struggling for ideas and came up with this.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to chat with Bruno and Nut at our house. It was a pleasant afternoon with food, alcohol (not me) and coffee and cake. Nut seems pretty down-to-earth and straightforward. Amy and I like that.
Are you listening carefully To the big world around? Are you looking where you’re walking Or just staring at the ground?
Notice all the details Little things easy to miss Be grateful with all your senses From which to bring you bliss
Breathe deep the air in thanks Test everything you touch Taste each gift of food With the passion you love so much
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for the buttery smell this morning as Amy prepares for a busy day baking cinnamon scrolls.
Today I’ve been feeling a little antsy though I’m not sure why. I think maybe yesterday I spent too long sitting and my lower back and thighs felt sore and then I woke up with a stiff neck again. I wasn’t looking forward to another day of sitting, whether at school or at House.
So, as I was going for coffee I decided to head to 22 Grams and read there for a bit, before heading to House. How lucky I am to be able to go to two cafes before even going to work!
There’s talk that we’ll have no holiday this time and that’s kind of a bummer if it happens, but as Dylan said, it’s not exactly like we work that hard anyway. He and George don’t put in the same sort of effort as I do from what I can see and I don’t mean that as a comparison but as a statement that for them they are very relaxed about their classes and the work the students put in. I can’t help myself being fully invested in helping my students.
Nearing the end of the semester, I’m relaxing too but even though I can sit around doing as I like most of the day, I would rather be able to do that at home. Having said that, I probably wouldn’t get as much done, such as reading, blogging or even writing this!
I’ve had a long shower And I’m snuggled up with a book I can hear strange noises outside But can’t be bothered to look
I’m about to fall asleep The room is dark and black That’s when the screaming starts And when I know she’s back
She turns on all the lights And dances around the room Jumping up onto the bed I hope she finishes soon
She makes me laugh and makes me mad I’ll always love her to bits But right now I need to sleep And she’s really giving me the shits
Amy has turned much of our garden into a cactus oasis, not helped much by the long rainy season this year though. It was today I noticed that this delicate cactus was being held up by this tall ants nest, originally a stick in the ground. Ants will rule the world. They are also back in our kitchen building a small nest by the back door again.
Our neighbour’s dog, Tangmo, always enjoys coming to play but tends to go a bit nuts when he sees Kim Chi, who is usually behind a screen door inside her room. Today though, we’d just let her out when he decided to come visit and after a bit of chasing around the situation above occurred.
We worry that Tangmo could easily bite Kim Chi badly as he’s so much bigger and his barking and jumping around make her scared but usually, Kim will be the one chasing him away. Don’t fuck with our cats. Tangmo just seems to want to play but isn’t quite sure of the correct cat etiquette.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for LungChom and their delicious ice cream that I ate two bowls of last night in a state of overindulgence.
Feel good today after forcing myself to do my minimal daily exercise on the weekend (this morning is rest day so I did yoga instead). I also ate two bowls of ice cream last night – which were freaking delicious but perhaps a bit too much!
Oh stayed over last night, though I was in bed by then and didn’t see her this morning either. Amy is giving her a bread-baking tutorial. Amy also did a pre-order for her cinnamon buns and got inundated with requests, so much that she will be baking for three days instead of the planned one.
I listened to day 3 of the gratitude course this morning, which gave me two very important reminders. ‘I dismiss any thoughts that entertain feelings of comparison’ and ‘I embrace my journey because it is uniquely designed just for me.’ I think these constant habits of mine are slowly having the desired positive effect, though I am not particularly challenged these days, or at least I feel as if I’m not, which could also be because of these habits.
The semester is winding down now and I’m feeling pretty relaxed. I hope that students return next semester, as I don’t have anything else planned if we continue online and I also want to start my experiment with 2/9.
Last week I was getting a bit frustrated with my guitar playing but yesterday I got back into the flow, teaching me that it’s ok to relax, take a break if necessary and try again at another time. But it is not acceptable to give up.
I’m also working up the free time and courage to get back into learning the keyboard and music software and thinking about making songs again. I know I can do it but I’m also aware of what a time sink it will be.
Amy is still constantly frustrated with the situation in Thailand and I have to try and deflect or point out our positives so that it doesn’t get her too depressed. I am attempting to deal with the situation here stoically and I am happy to tell Amy that I am ok living anywhere in the world with her.
When she’s drunk, she will chide me with ‘you love it here, you can stay’ and whilst I wouldn’t say I love it here anymore than anywhere else, I am happily aware of how easy my life is compared to the UK and Australia. Even so, I will give it up if it makes Amy happier with herself and her situation.
Far across galaxies, I was taken Flying towards the story’s end A misdirection, a writer’s trick On which the reader may depend
A cliffhanger chapter break The reader left wanting more Another leaf is turned In this new world to explore
Better than a Netflix series Read a book and chill instead I wonder who will survive And who will end up dead?
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for Amy’s friends who all ordered cinnamon buns from her when she posted online about them. She’s going to be busy.
Woke up this morning to Amy screaming ‘help’ and my name. I thought perhaps one of the cats had brought in a snake but it was just Cap and Tigger fighting each other again, clumps of fur scattered all about the kitchen and dining room. I don’t know why they have never gotten along. They tolerate each other but barely.
It wasn’t even 7 am but I got up and forced myself to do my mini workout for which I feel good for, right now. Must remind myself about this feeling each morning.
*You changed a world that was never asked Recycled governments and remade the past Made a play to counter power Deciding fates from your golden tower The mountains rose, inspiring action Chieftains rose, combined each faction The games played afar, on a wooden board But real people could not be ignored The dust and dirt, unforgiving weather The warlords waiting, patiently clever All the money and power wasn’t enough Against backstabbing, lies and bluff The game was watched by others abroad Their armies played for a new accord The game continues from your home Whilst the victims just want to be left alone
*taken almost directly from Stuart Laycock’s ‘All The Countries We’ve Ever Invaded’
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for Amy’s almond buns that she has been experimenting with and yesterday she got them just right. Yummy!
There’s a tipping point, no longer equalised Catch it quick, as soon as it’s recognised Adjust the balance, time for compromise An equilibrium now realised There’s a boiling point where the flames are fanned Control is lost to the waves of shifting sand Change is coming forced by the people’s hand Too little, too late and too old to understand
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for spending time out at Amy’s parents today and getting fed plus picking up some bits and pieces around town.
1994ever 