Tag: Amy

When I was young I never wanted toys – 22nd December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Role Model
George
Amy
Henry Rollins
Lachlan
Jochen
Kieran
Chrissie

Anti-role model
Kru Paew
John
Bookshop guy

Ideal qualities
smiling, interested, positive
caring, kind, open-minded
hard-working, focused
thoughtful, open-minded
community-focused, organised
calm, brave, artistic
calm, relaxed, appreciative

Qualities to avoid
gossip, judgemental, unkind
gossip, negative, complainer
judgemental, narrow-minded

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for having the chance to sleep in this morning. Now, for the busy day ahead.

To-do list

  • Compliment as many people as you can.
  • Talk to a stranger.
  • Study more Thai.
  • Enjoy the kids party and and music in the evening.
  • Talk more deeply with Aing, Gus and Nu – think about what to talk.
  • Start booking plane tickets for WDS.
  • Get up early and walk to Utopia?
  • Read three chapters. Finish Countdown.

Did it list

  • Busy day! Great kids’ party.
  • Talked to a stranger.
  • Complimented Utopia staff, Nu, Amy, little kids.
  • Studied more Thai – video series.
  • Enjoyed a long evening with the kids and Amy.
  • Read more Anna Karenina.
  • Encouraged Khawthang and Phuli.
  • Updated plans for the WDS tour.

Very busy today with preparing for our students’ party so I feel like I didn’t get so much done. Took the luxury of sleeping until 9.15 am. Showered and vacuumed as Amy continued preparing for the party. 
Went to Utopia and Art introduced me to his friend whom I spent most of the time talking with. He has lived in Perth but is now a pilot in Bangkok. It was good to start the day talking with talking with a stranger. 
Only managed to squeeze in a quick read as we prepared for the kids’ party. I blew up and tied up about 30 balloons. The party was fun and time flew by. A lot of Amy’s effort went into it – many more hours than the event itself. 
The music in the garden was not really my thing but I still enjoyed being there. 
I rested in the car and had wild dreams.

Just desserts – 20th December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Today I found one of the students guiltily copying work of another student. He puts a lot of effort into avoiding working and running around finding someone to copy. That effort could just go into thinking.

When I told the teacher who was teaching them they just shrugged it off as if it didn’t matter and I noticed this made me feel a little miffed and I’m considering why.

I have something against this student due to his laziness and maybe I just wanted him to be punished. On the other hand, maybe the teacher has the right attitude. If the student can only learn to copy then he will discover the appropriate reward in his future.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful for the things that made me smile this week. Mostly it was the students, sometimes the cats, always Amy and sometimes myself. I smiled because of the simple things in my life that make me happy.

To-do list

  • Compliment a teacher and the students
  • Clear more emails and tabs!
  • Do something nice for someone.
  • Write to Jochen – same idea as with Aaron.
  • Study some more Thai.
  • Can you meditate today?

Did it list

  • Positive encouragement for students.
  • Stayed calm – only raised voice to be heard.
  • 10,000 steps without realising.
  • Under 81kg today.
  • 30 squats and 30 weightless shoulder presses.
  • Tried to be positive when talking with Boyan.
  • Took time to play with students.
  • Wrote to Jochen.
  • Called and encouraged Ellen.
  • Tried to call Echo.
  • Wrote some more relevant thoughts to Lachlan.
  • Read more online, closed some tabs but opened many more!
  • Cleared many emails.
  • Finished watching Happy!
  • Sorted new music files.
  • Studied a little Thai.

Today I tried really hard to be mindful of the things that I wanted to do. I wasn’t able to achieve all these things but having them in the front of my mind was a good exercise and something I will continue to practice. I gave quite a few students verbal compliments and confidence boosters and it was nice to get some positive feedback from them too. 
I might have to consider streamlining some email lists I’m on as I’m starting to get a little overwhelmed with so many things that I would like to explore.

I’m always changing the people and places just to fill up the empty spaces – 15th December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Don’t set your mind on things you don’t posess as if they were yours, but count the blessings you actually possess and think how much you would desire them if they weren’t already yours.

Marcus Aurelius

What if…

I never met Amy?
Hayden was never born?
I never met Paul and Charlie?
I never saw the Sex Pistols on TV?
I never met the Gaunts Common kids, Rupert, Jeremy, etc?
I never made plans for where I live now?
I never studied anything else after getting my first job?
I never took the chance to travel to China?
I never took the time to study about Asian music?
Hayden had a disability?
I didn’t have my own space?
I hated reading books?
I didn’t enjoy music?
There was no internet?

I have so much in my life to appreciate and I really do!

“You may not sleep again”

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to be able to look forward to ask things in my future. Just as we are now settled and made ourselves a beautiful home the question has been raised about selling and moving to the city. I really really love where I am now but selling this house would give us a huge boost of money that could take all pressure off us having to work all the time. Stay or go – everything is great!

To-do list

  • Read three chapters of Anna Karenina.
  • Sort music files and CDs (ongoing).
  • Upload TCRAH to SoulSeek.
  • 30 squats after waking up.
  • Email to Aaron.
  • Record another TCRAH?
  • Sort more files for TCRAH.
  • Close some Chrome tabs!

Did it list

  • 30 squats.
  • Sorted some music files and CDs.
  • Closed a few Chrome tabs.
  • Dictated and posted 2 blog entries.
  • Had a good time teaching the kids.
  • Went to a craft fair with Amy, Aing, Nu and Gus (enjoyable).
  • Made TCRAH available on Soulseek.

I’ve got a half tank of gas and nowhere to go – 5th December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Best or most worthwhile investment made?

From a material point of view my best investments would be my MacBook Pro and iMac – both were premium but well worth it.

But from a practical point of view, my most worthwhile investment is in Amy and our relationship.

We have been together for over ten years and have done so many things but it doesn’t seem like it. We are obviously very familiar with each other now and life is comfortable but it never feels mundane and boring. I have been prepared to happily make sacrifices for our relationship and that has not needed to be often because we have such a good understanding of each other.

I got a warning from Facebook when I commented on a friend’s post “Get off your phone!” Somewhen around this time, I downloaded all my data from the site (not that it gets removed), cut down to about 150 friends and pretty much stopped using it except for tenzenmen posts and a second account I have for my students.

Take your time, try not to forget – 4th December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

How has a failure set you up for future success?

When I was studying to learn to teach I was doing well in the first week but failed the initial assignment, eventually being given a pass. Then I failed the second assignment, eventually passing. Same with the 3rd and 4th. Initially discouraging I persisted until passing.

Those failures taught me about trying my best, not giving up. Now, when I have a bad day teaching I can consider all the factors and try my hardest to make improvements.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to Amy again as she has soldiered on and cooked for me when I’m feeling under the weather but she is also not well. Today suddenly I have an urge to visit England again.

21st Apr 2021 – Just pre-Covid, this bug knocked me down for about 10 to 14 days and was by far the worst I’ve felt with the flu in the last few years. It’s unlikely that it was Covid and I think I eventually got rid of it and passed it on to others. I seem to remember a lot of people getting sick around this time.

We want that attitude! – 2nd December 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

After a great start to the weekend, things got a little more sober after Amy fell and hurt her face and hands. We were very quiet and recovering on Sunday.

Looking forward to coming back to school on Monday was brought to a sudden halt by discussions with the school and my agent about withholding two days of my pay for not attending the weekend seminar. I feel particularly aggrieved at this as it was not made clear to me that this would happen and it is not fair to withhold money for not attending an unpaid weekend of work. My agent blames the school and the school blames the agent. This is a very typical scenario here in Thailand and exactly the situation Amy warned me about.

But what to do now? Should I just accept the situation, stand up for myself further, walk away to something else (which may just end up with similar problems) or walk away from everything?

My learning shows that I should remain professional and unaffected emotionally by these types of situations but I still struggle with these things.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to have read some positive things today otherwise I might have felt completely terrible due to a situation that happened at school. I’ll catch up with George briefly as he often knows the right thing to say.

14th July 2022 – Looking for a photo to use for this post I found what seems to indicate that I went to the local hospital on the next day and got myself a medical certificate giving me a day off, as a fuck you to the school for not paying me!

The Chiang Rai Alternative Hour #14 – 30th November 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Music from Effigies, Cardiacs, mr sterile Assembly, Charlottefield, Goblin, Charming Hostess, Palberta, Lungfish, Yugen, Subway Sect, Helta Skelta, Hatfield and the North, Churn Milk Joan, Radio Delhi, Midori, Positively 13 O’Clock, Boy Wonder, Blood Brothers and Human Expression.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to the staff at the hospital this morning who took care of Amy after she fell over and hit her head. Nothing serious thankfully.

Every time I ever cried for fear was just a mistake that I made – 25th November 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What are you afraid of?

I’m afraid of not having time to do all the things I would like to do – reading, writing, playing, travelling, talking, learning, growing. I should fill my time with these things as much as I can.

I’m afraid of letting people down. I don’t do it very often because I have learned how to not do it.

I’m afraid I’ll never talk to TLJ again and discuss just what happened between us when I was a stupid arrogant man and she was a naive young girl. I still dream about reconciling with her sometimes, imagining that we are still the same age but I have the wisdom gained over time to do the right thing. That was a time I let someone down badly.

I’m afraid of not being a good enough teacher. I don’t feel this often but sometimes others have made comments to give me doubts. I know I’m a good enough teacher (and of course, can always get better) so I don’t need to pay too much attention to what others might say.

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Amy takes care of my lunch and dinner even when she’s not staying at our house. Today she brought me my lunch at school. I’m so happy to have her in my life.

I sent four letters but none received – 30th October 2019

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This morning I set myself a fairly modest goal to write a letter to Hayden. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen during the day as we were supposed to go to Takky’s new house at midday but anyway I didn’t rush to write the letter and enjoyed the morning learning some Thai and brain games and a little bit of reading.

After lunch and a bit more reading I went to my office and sat down to write the letter. I tried listening to music but found I couldn’t concentrate.

Anyway, an hour and a half later I had all my thoughts down. I will review and revise it tomorrow before sending it to Hayden and his mum.

Somewhat energised I managed to record another music podcast and do a few minutes of exercise. I’m feeling like I can do that more habitually once my new work schedule is settled. I’ll get back into writing here again every day too.

Do unto yourself what you would recommend to others.

– not sure who to cite for this quote!

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful that Amy’s mum is clear of a liver tumour. She looked so happy yesterday having found out. It also made me think about her dad, who is not so bad in his own way. They have both helped us a lot.