mind wandering down the road surrounded by boredom
the crossroads a hazy mirage in the distance
breaking through to find the rainbow’s end
on this road the same road connections will synchronise
the crossroads, mind wandering, in the distance, breaking through, a hazy mirage, down the road, the rainbow’s end, by boredom, on this road, surrounded, to find, connections, the same road, will synchronise
a hazy mirage, will synchronise, connections, down the road, the rainbow’s end, mind wandering, in the distance, breaking through, the same road, by boredom, the crossroads, surrounded, on this road, to find
breaking through, on this road, the same road, a hazy mirage, in the distance, by boredom, mind wandering, surrounded, the crossroads, down the road, will synchronise, connections, to find, the rainbow’s end
I wrote this poem in a small space in a notebook and could see that many of the lines still worked together, mixed around, so that’s what I did, perhaps ending up with four poems, though I liked to reiterate the point of looking further on down the road.
New blooming flowers draw forward buzzing bees inspiring budding poets with frivolous reveries, this joyous re-creation, once poetic enough spawns a thousand imitators – spring can fuck right off!
The glorious calms of a beach bathed in sun triggers a thousand lines of torture begun, this scent-filled glory, once poetic enough to waste the paper and ink – summer can fuck right off!
The mourning skies becoming dull and brown; woodland walks stir the poet to get words down, this reflective mood returning, once poetic enough, each leaf holds another cliche – autumn can fuck right off!
In hibernation, sat in front of a warm log fire each crackle and sizzle will, the poet inspire; This year’s snow (as every year!), once poetic enough; the word weary reader wonders – winter can fuck right off!
Sat in cafe corners Quietly going out of their minds A complete picture of confusion It’s the illusion that blinds
The last page read Of Notes From Underground Dragged down into the illusion A confusion so profound
Mother Nature ripped them off Consigned to just a minor part Boredom won out after all The fall came before the start
The ‘almost-was’ That in cafe corners hides Couldn’t pick a side to fall After all, shot by both sides
Inspired by and paraphrased from Howard Devoto, reading about him in Rip It Up and Start Again
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good. It was dark when I woke up this morning. I’ve been setting my alarm one minute earlier every workday to slowly get back to waking at 5.50 and doing more exercise each morning. I’m still at 6.05, so working my way there.
It’s only another month until the solstice, which seems to have come quickly this year, perhaps because of the long rainy season.
Today was a busy day with six hours in class but they were all enjoyable and fun. I could’ve done with more free time between classes but I still managed to get a little done.
I also caught up with some writing in the evening but it did mean skipping guitar today. My fingers need a little break anyway.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
For the salad seller, being back at the market today, as my fish lady had no fish! She said that she won’t have on Thursday either. Maybe she has stopped selling it altogether.
The best thing about today was:
Finding some cheap Korean milk candies at Makro. They are delicious for my sweet tooth. Sometimes it’s the little things. Today has been pretty great all around.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I’m driving Amy’s mum’s car whilst ours gets all the paint scratches taken care of. As it’s an old car, there is no way to connect my phone to the speakers, so I’m having to listen to podcasts on full phone volume with it as close to my ears as possible!
It’s also amusing to me that with the scratches and knocks on the car, which Amy often blames me for, the biggest and worst was her doing when she scraped the side of the car on our gate last year. I don’t say anything!
Something I learned today?
Amy is happy enough looking around Pusan with the oldies. She says she’s really loving the temperature, which is a max of 11 degrees.
Sarah took this picture because I was in the teacher’s room and could see her in her class, not paying attention. When she saw me, she took this. She also stole my phone earlier in the day and snapped some photos for me. Thanks, Sarah!
Stuck in a bubble of Twitter chatter Angry at things that hardly matter Guard against drama and distraction Uninvited guests don’t need a reaction
It’s sometimes said that life is a precious gift but I wonder if that’s the best metaphor. Is it better to understand one’s life as a loan? A loan that can be called in at any time, sometimes with no warning at all.
David Loy
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful that today the sun has picked up my spirit slightly after the grey old day yesterday. The cold and rain was nice but give me sunshine any day.
Accidents In Too Large Field – New Buildings
I knew this was going to be a challenging listen. Accidents In Too Large Field are a Japanese band and this release is on Less Than TV, run by Yukari’s (Limited Express (has gone?)) husband, Taniguchi, and this disc is one of a handful I received from them after sending them some money and telling them to send me whatever they thought I might like. Everything they sent was interesting but I also remembered that none of them was music that could just be put on in the background and you could do other things. They demanded attention.
A week or two ago I had a listen-through and my recollections were correct. The difficulty with this music is that the guitar is incredibly clean and trebly. As with Limited Express (has gone?) they were self-defined as ‘new rock’, taking post-punk rhythms, punk rock energy and that clean guitar sound and meshing them together in what can be imagined to be a highly entertaining live show if you were ever lucky enough to see them.
Sometimes it’s difficult to catch the threads of the song, to make sense of the melodies and the relentless assault on the ears has to be penetrated deeply with attention. That listen-through was enjoyable. Trying but enjoyable. This is actually the kind of music I like a lot. Right up my proverbial.
So, the sun’s back out and the rain probably won’t be back for three months. Let’s give this a blast.
Introduction
Sounds like a crowded market, overblown and forcing me to turn the volume down immediately. Hints of a tribal rhythm develop and promise. Adjusts made to bass and treble settings. It’s got a nice rhythm that recalls Big A little a.
Pigeon at Belvedere
So, the rhythm maintains into this first tune for real. The guitar squall is intense, with a funk of the Pop Group. It’s dance music for folks who cannot dance, like me. It feels like the guitar is used as rhythm rather than a tune, the bass seems to carry that along. Even more intensity as the song proceeds and disintegrates into a kinda prog breakdown and disappears into a fuzzed-out echo delay.
ノンフィクション落下
A twisted ska guitar, backed by bass and drums all seemingly playing in different time signatures. I think this is why I like this kind of music. Things that shouldn’t make sense, making sense (at least in my nonsensical mind). The bridge twists the song into some normality for a moment. The heavily affected vocals give way to some wild piano bashing as the drums go off into punk jazz spasms.
Diagonal
The barrage is constant. Sharp guitar, funky bass, tribal beat, screaming vocals. This requires study, would be intense in a live situation. Diagonal struggles to stay still, twitching from riff to riff, some Agata-style skronk over-riding the funk. A favourite so far.
Stair
The screaming pace picks up at the start of this track before settling back down into a frantic funk. The guitar and bass are highlighted and clear whilst the drums tend to be spread across the sonic spectrum. When they finally reappear the vocals are buried and operate almost as pure sound. And then an abrupt implosion finishes everything off. Excellent funking funk.
Beat Freezing
Some dynamics break up the relentlessness through this short track. A different vocal style, a monotone, doubled. A sweet guitar plinks through the second half before crazy to a quick finale. So short I have to listen again to comment.
イエストゼロ
Fuck, this intro is magnificent. Super fast delicious bass, deep and melty. The drop breaks things up nicely without slowing down any momentum. The bass tone is incredible, reminding me of Germany’s Megakronkel. Actually, this is a way more intense version of them, perhaps with a little less tempo variety. I guess there’s also some comparison with compatriots Melt Banana but purely in the guitar and bass tones and interactions. Their songs are only similar in speed, brevity and intensity.
August Out
Static, wild soloing chainsaw guitar, rumbling bass, ear-splitting, brain-melting. I’m glad I’m not listening on headphones. There are probably some nice stereo effects happening if you choose to attempt a headphone listen. This makes me realise I don’t own any decent headphones these days. This feels like the wind-down final track. Plodding yet still relentless. This would be ideally placed at the end of side one on a vinyl release but also makes sense on this relatively short CD. The instruments give up and give way to the noise and finally, ear-ringing silence.
I’m glad to have given this a couple of listens and let it earworm somewhat into my headbone though there are no real hummable tunes here. This is more likely to make its way back to my CD player than previously. Stellar, killer and other ars and ers. I feel cleansed and renewed though perhaps in need of a more gentle ear massage. Maybe some Nick Drake. What a way to work towards a Sunday afternoon.
Yesterday’s rain kept temperatures beautifully bearable today and a podcast-listening walk to and from Utopia got me quickly to 9.30 and a thoroughly pleasant day of reading, writing and watching got me to sundown to enjoy more music, a softness in the air, no air con since Friday night feels like an achievement. I would definitely receive an achievement award if my life was an app. Am I some ‘other’s’ sim in their game of life?
Is boredom a quirk of youth? I feel like I haven’t been bored in years now, though I’m sure, looking back, I could find instances; though (to go even deeper) those times of boredom were probably just anxiety. Boredom is a great and annoying inspiration in youth. A bored group of kids will not be bored for long. ‘Why did you do it, son?’, ‘cos I wuz bored, officer.’
Despite this holiday, I was compelled to go off investigating new classwork ideas for next semester. The Xbox beckons but somehow that feels like wasting time. The next step of the technological entertainment systems should provide real-world learning in the guise of games. In games now, all you really learn is the game. At the end of it, you can just say, ‘I’m good at that game’; you don’t come out the other side thinking, ‘now I know how to be a better human.’ Work out a way to combine real-world skills in some engrossing entertainment, as opposed to just having fun for the sake of it.
Somewhere deep down The solar plexus? Requires time and space Do nothing See the clouds wander But don’t look The passing river Thoughts in motion You don’t have to do But do nothing else Dare to be bored Remember that
Learn to accept your mediocrity.
Jerry Seinfeld
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to the happy friendly kids who all want to talk to me at school. They fill me full of joy.
Excellent fun with my class this morning. Most students seem to understand what I expect from them and we are all getting more comfortable with each other.
This afternoon Champ and I start our first class with the TED-Ed students. I think all the grade 11 students will be OK but I’m not sure about my grade 8 students. I hope that they feel inspired enough.
No time to think this morning but whenever I’m away from a pen and paper I have lots of thoughts I would hope to put down and many of them disappear, for a while or maybe forever.
The slight anxiety I had yesterday went in the afternoon as no one mentioned anything to me about not being around in the morning and I even got an apology for the short and indirect notice I received to teach. So, I worried about nothing – or people may be talking bad things about me that I don’t hear and I can’t control that and don’t need to worry about it either.
I’m noticing I’m starting to feel the wind down into the April holiday already, even though I’ve made myself busier than ever. I’d love to keep on teaching these students but also happy to leave it all behind.
1990 was 30 years ago! Crazy – I was a young man. Scribble dribble. Lazy but content.
Play video games – was okay but got a little bored. Movies. YouTube – okay but a little bored. No exercise, no writing, no thinking – that was okay. That was good. No thinking – just doing but need to think – keep a clear head.
Sore neck. Stretch it out, massage it. Back to school back to.… Plan some things to do. Use school free time for myself. What’s my new Twitter password? Brain blank – it’ll come… Is my mind this empty? – what’s in here? – foggy blur. Sit and meditate – that password will annoy me for sure.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful to be back at school. Even though I’m not doing much I started to get bored at home, despite there being lots of things to do there!
Working Monday mornings only come around about once a month and they suck as much for me as for everyone else. Day shifts are relatively boring, or I should say, even more boring than night shifts. This whole job is an exercise in dealing with boredom. I joke about having finished reading the internet.
Talking about reading I’m about to finish the 3rd book this week about bikers. This one, ‘Outlaws’, is about the history of the clubs in the UK and constantly reminds me of my one time run in with a Hell’s Angel (which, on further thought, reminds of another run in).
Fatty, his girlfriend Sally, and I were on the 2-hour drive home from London after a gig and stopped at the service station to fill up on some food. It was probably around 1am and the place was empty. The food in bain-marie looked unappetising but we needed something to fill our empty bellies. We filled our plates and sat down, having the choice of the whole room to sit in. As we nearly finished a biker came in, got some food and chose to sit down next to us. Of course, we immediately became nervous and finished up as quickly as we could. The biker looked straight at Sally and said ‘do you want to fuck?’
Thankfully she was too stunned to say anything, which was unusual for her. I could see her mouthing off and getting us all punched down. We picked up our things and left swiftly. I think I heard the biker say ‘guess that’s a no then?’ as we got through the door. Thankfully he was alone.
And the other story that came to mind was in a pub one early evening Fatty and I were standing next to a pillar, happily drinking away. We stuck our drinks on the shelf around the pillar in between gulps and continued chatting, putting the world to rights as per usual early 20-year-olds shooting the breeze. I turned to pick up my beer, almost full, and it was gone. I looked around the pillar and three Hell’s Angels were talking to each other, paying no attention to this little runt who’d just lost his drink.
I tapped one of them on the back and as he turned I smashed him in the face and stomped on his stomach. As the other two pulled out their pistols I karate chopped one and high kicked the other and then……oh wait. That’s not what happened. We went somewhere else to get a drink instead.
Hopefully, the next book I read is a little less hateful.
30th July 1984 Went to Wimborne. Me and Jim pissed around for a while. All had a pizza. Bern’s sister got caught smoking by her mother.
31st July 1984 Pissed off. Had a pizza in town. Got bored around town. Went to James’s, watched the Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle.
1st August 1984 Even more pissed off. Had a laugh in Gaunt’s tonight.
5th Oct 2023 – Whatever it was that was pissing me off put an end to writing my diary for a few weeks. It’s hilarious that the entry above pivots from ‘pissed off’ to ‘had a laugh’. The life of a teenager.
I woke up to find no one there And looked around in despair There was no one to see anywhere I lost my head and did not care I touched my head and found it dead Picked my brain which was insane Touched my face which was out of place Touched my and to my alarm I woke up I wake up every morning to the same boring day
