In the autumnal airs, crinkled brown A leaf falling is looking for a place to live That big old house where we melted cheese Time told us not to get old, to forgive
Pushing and pulling at different doors What did the squirrels squeak watching in? At 4am a split second of thought Was a sadness that solved everything
Better rested, though my sleep app tells me I still didn’t make it to 8 hours of actual sleep. My shoulder is still waking me up at times during the night and I’d like to get a massage this weekend if possible. The trouble is finding a decent massage shop.
Riding back from coffee, I felt quite inspired and energetic, thinking perhaps to go with Amy for a little bike ride or to the sourdough shop in the city and perhaps finding a massage shop.
Amy was still in her pyjamas, though and didn’t seem particularly thrilled to go out today as we will go into the city tomorrow afternoon for pizza. So I decided on some reading and video watching until lunchtime.
Amy made a killer potato bake with carrots covered in cheese and as I started eating, a wave of tiredness overcame me. I managed to let lunch digest for a while before heading to bed for some comic reading and an afternoon nap, which I fell into deeply and felt quite refreshed on waking up again, so I headed out to my room to play guitar.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Seeing a hoopoe in the garden this morning. I only know its name because I had to look it up. I’ve never seen a bird like it here before.
The best thing about today was:
Nothing in particular. It’s been a good, relaxing day all round. No highs, no lows. I’m glad to have a day off from exercise, to help my shoulder recover and also because my legs were feeling it after yesterday too.
Something I learned today?
The looming ban on TikTok in the USA has seen USAsians flocking to a Chinese app called RedNote and it has opened many eyes to the reality of China. It’s the exact opposite of what the ban intended.
I took this picture because Piti was chilling this morning.
I got myself up and running at 6.10 having already woken up a little earlier yet again!
Last night I made a little mistake as we received a message from school with our new timetables and I had a look at mine and was a little frustrated.
Firstly, I have been given 25 hours again, whilst David got 22 and George only 20! Then I noticed that I have two seven-hour days on Monday and Friday! Finally, I have been given 4 separate one-hour classes throughout the week, which annoys me as my planning is usually for 2-hour lessons. With only one hour, it will usually only end up with about 30 minutes teaching time at most.
Funnily enough, one of my students Jee, messaged me saying that she was disappointed that I would only teach her for two hours a week again and I mentioned that I was frustrated too, for the reasons above. She replied, ‘That’s not fair!’ But I said to her, ‘Yeah, but it will likely change anyway,’ and considered that things are not set in stone just yet.
Unfortunately, it couldn’t stop my brain working overtime for a while as I was trying to sleep and I was playing out scenarios about what to do and say.
By morning, though, I had let it all go and just figured to get on with things and accept them. For now, at least.
After a long, happy, hot day, I was starting to feel flaky as I was driving home. I could easily have slept until tomorrow even though it was only 2.30 pm, but I knew that wasn’t going to be possible.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
Baitoey, an old student of mine who I will teach again this semester, who helped me get things sorted to create a new LINE group for her class. This class has 48 students and is certainly going to be a challenge to keep them all engaged.
Kru Ning also helped me out, as she is the homeroom teacher for them, too. It’s good to have a reasonably competent ally when dealing with a big class like this.
The best thing about today was:
Catching up with all the students again. I got so wrapped up in talking with them that I didn’t even make it to my first coffee until after 10 am!
They all seemed happy to be back at school again and to see their friends. I was certainly happy as kids came to talk and play all throughout the day.
Kwang also turned up to see her friends before she switched schools. I gave her a hug and told her that I would miss her. She said ‘how much’ and I told her, just a little bit.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Amy told me in the morning that Nong Oh’s mum passed away today and that she wants to go and help at the temple today and tomorrow. This means there’s little chance of rest for me before we do the three-hour drive to Chiang Mai on Saturday morning.
Our third funeral this month. What can we do? I am grateful to still be alive and healthy to have these problems.
Something I learned today?
I found out that sports day is at the end of November, for a couple of days and for most of the month leading up to it, we will have 50-minute periods instead of our usual one hour.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Driving Amy and Baew to the temple after school this evening. There’s not much that I can do to help here, so I was quite relieved when Amy suggested I bring a book.
I took this picture because we are not the only ones making a home here.
Seduction – theatre in real life The meeting of illusion and reality Lost in a hall of mirrors Reflections prove difficult to see
Kept busy with ritual The chase, chocolate and flowers The world is just a stage Filled with clockwork amateurs
A geometric jerky quickstep A dance without a guarantee All those things worried about And that never came to be
The first two lines are paraphrased from Robert Greene.
Today I’m feeling:
Ok but a bit tired as I woke up well before dawn and my brain’s jukebox got active as I started thinking about school.
We’ve had trouble with starting the car recently and it took me a while to get it going this morning, so I decided to drive to Nissan before school, but they don’t open until 8. I thought that I could go to school and clock in and then come back, but unfortunately, I couldn’t start the car at all, so I waited until they opened. Hopefully its just the electronic key that is the problem.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 8
Today I’m grateful for:
The folks at Nissan who helped me this morning. Despite our communication difficulties (even with Google translating), everything was sorted, with me 400 baht worse off and only 30 minutes late for work, where it seemed many other teachers were arriving late too.
The best thing about today was:
Getting stuck into a lesson plan about pyramid schemes. It was fun to figure out a way to approach that hopefully engages the students and tests all their skills. I think I can use it for at least two lessons, maybe even three if I choose to go a little more slowly with it.
Something I learned today?
My testing testy student Kwang will move schools this semester.
It’s a shame. She’s smart but has something holding her back, distracting her.
I forget her story now but I think her dad left or passed away and her mum is working in Pattaya, which may or may not involve the bar scene, but either way, it means Kwang is left here with her grandmother or some other relative and is probably losing out on a good emotional familial connection.
In the eighteen months I’ve known her, I’ve made her laugh and made her cry. I’ve helped her, argued and fought with her. I like her a lot, like all my difficult kids and I’ll miss her being around despite how much of a pain in my ass she could be.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
A couple of days ago, I prompted Anchan to post an update on social media so that her friends could see that she is still around. She said that she didn’t have any photos and didn’t feel like posting, which I totally understood.
This morning, I was pleased to see that she had posted on Instagram, eating at a cafe somewhere in Chiang Mai. Lots of her friends commented and I hope that it makes her feel good.
I took this picture because, as often happens, suddenly there is a new plant flowering in our garden that we were unaware of. I do remember seeing something growing here earlier this year but pretty sure it was only one stem and only knee height. After the rainy season, here comes the surprise.
Average. My recent symptoms are sitting there in the background and now I’m just feeling tired. Phlegm seems to be coming off my chest a little easier now but my lack of energy is begging me to rest or sleep more.
(Evening) During the day I was doing ok but by my last class, I was completely spent and I was glad to get everyone out 30 minutes early.
I’m in bed at 7 pm and will read for a while but I’m not sure how long I will be able to keep my eyes open.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 6
Today I’m grateful for:
(Being able to fall asleep before having time to write here!)
The best thing about today was:
Helping Jet and everyone else with their play this afternoon. It was really fun and the kids appreciated my directing them more than their Thai teacher.
I could see that they were frustrated because they knew there were parts in the play that didn’t make sense but they couldn’t say anything to the teacher about it.
I will try to help them a little more again tomorrow.
I took this picture yesterday because this is the first blue sky for a while, coinciding with our garden being freshly taken care of.
The crab said to the albatross “Can you take me from here?” “Where do you wish to go?” Asked the albatross “Anywhere away from these sad rocks, To the skies!” The albatross said “Hop in” And opened wide his mouth Enjoying a difficult meal
A little better with my hip, though it kept me tossing and turning all night last night and so when it was light this morning, I just got up. It was only 7am but I felt better for moving.
I had to deal with an army of ants biting my feet in the kitchen as they were retreating inside from the rain overnight. Sadly for them, they are all dead now!
I started doing some weeding before heading off for coffee. I don’t know why. I just saw one and then kept going.
As I was about to get on the bike, the neighbour told me that they will concrete our drives today and so I can park over the road at Auntie’s, where there is lots of space. Everything should be finished soon, making our road much easier to traverse.
As our gardeners were due this morning, I asked Amy to cancel them but they insisted on coming. I guess they need money and know that we are reliable to pay them.
Today I’m grateful for:
The gardeners again. I’m glad that they came in the end as our grass is cut nice and short again making it less likely for snakes to travel through. From my quick inspection it seems that they didn’t manage to destroy any cactuses this time too.
The best thing about today was:
Tangmo coming to visit us a couple of times. After coffee in the morning and grabbing some Swenson’s ice cream, picking up Amy and coming home I’ve done a lot of TV watching and hip resting.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The pain in my hip is out of my control and there’s not much I can do about it. I’m hoping a bit more recovery tonight, otherwise I’ll have to go and waste some time at the hospital.
Something I learned today?
The Swans won this week, smashing the Kangaroos by 79 points. Not a difficult opponent but good to get another win after the small loses over the last two weeks.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I met Nong Kratae at Utopia this morning and she asked me if I would come and help her once a month, as her high school-aged students need more information about IELTS study.
I told her that I could come along one time and see what it is that I might be able to offer.
I took this picture because Piti was doing his best sexy pose this morning.
So-so. Despite thinking that I might get up at my usual time of 6am I slept for another couple of hours. I feel less tired than yesterday but still not ready for action.
I did feel inspired enough to bring my laptop to Utopia and caught up on some poetry reading and a little writing. I may do some more lesson planning. I should, but I also may not!
Today I’m grateful for:
My old friends from When Chimps Attack. I messaged Tommy recently after he had posted a picture of himself and Aaron at a show in Sydney.
Tommy had been in London for the past ten years or so but he said things were so grim there now that he came back but that he was struggling a little bit on his return too. I told how I had felt there back in October – pretty similar.
Tommy also passed on Aaron’s email address and I wrote him today and look forward to hearing from him.
I know Jon and Ama live in Sydney again and wondering if Aaron has moved back too? A Chimps reunion?
The best thing about today was:
Playing guitar after a couple of days break. I managed to improve a little on last time and I felt good for that.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Around 4pm I went out to my room to catch up on some emails and play guitar. Amy came out about ten minutes later and propositioned me.
As I had just sat down to do something else I was hardly in the mood, and these days I’m less in the mood a lot of the time.
My libido is definitely dropping off and I have no thoughts of looking elsewhere for satisfaction. I love Amy and am committed to her but it’s not easy for me to just put myself in the mood these days. This is not helped by Amy usually propositioning when she has been drinking which isn’t very flattering for me. Are beer goggles needed to look upon me now?
Having said that, when the time is right for both of us I still have the best orgasms that I’ve ever had with her.
Sadly, today she seems to be offended by my rejection and has locked herself in the second bedroom and won’t even communicate anything. I was frustrated enough to try and kick the door in but gave up, considering that it would make things worse.
What happens next when she comes out? I will try to just behave as normal and ignore her actions and try to smooth things over when she has calmed down.
Something I learned today?
All the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are set to 4:20.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I gave candy to both Art’s at Utopia this morning.
Whilst I was there Amy called me because I had taken the car as I had planned to do some work at Utopia and wasn’t sure if it would rain or not. Amy suddenly decided to go for a spa and massage and needed the car immediately, so I drove back home and swapped over to the motorbike to go back to my coffee.
I took this picture because I’m trying to get this plant to grow over the top of the old roof frame. With the rain, it will grow like crazy and I just need to keep going along the beams.
Pretty good again. Got up and exercised and am now out for coffee.
A couple of days ago when I was moving the tree I got bitten by an ant on the inside of my little finger and now it is distractingly itchy. Because of the location it’s not easy to get a nice satisfying scratch on it and it’s super annoying.
Today I’m grateful for:
Art lending me a backpack that I can use on Sunday to go to Bangkok. I also found out that Monday is a national holiday so I don’t have to worry about not being back in time to start work!
Also, a sneaky little doze whilst listening to video discussions on YouTube whilst Amy did the watering and washed the car!
The best thing about today was:
Watching more of Three Body. I’m loving the slow pace of it. It seems each April holiday is marked by watching some TV series or other whilst avoiding the heat. A couple of years back it was Narcos.
I think last year though I ended up playing Xbox more than watching TV and I actually had planned to do that this year but in the end just didn’t bother.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I was on a roll and in the zone whilst sipping coffee this morning, first reading, then inspired, then writing. But I started to feel a little dizzy and knew I needed to come home and eat. Otherwise, I would have loved to have stayed longer and written more.
Tomorrow I won’t have so much free time as we will be running around most of the day doing things for Grandmum’s 100-day ritual.
Something I learned today?
Israel’s prime minister Netanyahu is likely to have an arrest warrant for war crimes issued by the International Criminal Court. Whilst it is likely just a symbolic gesture and he would unlikely ever be arrested at least it shows the world stands against him.
Russian president Putin also has an arrest warrant issued by the ICC but that was instigated by USA propaganda and that is all falling apart.
The world is starting to rise against the genocide perpetuated by Israel on the Palestinians and supported by the USA war machine.
Also, last night I watched a video from Thai Talk with Paddy and he was presenting 12 things that he didn’t like about Thailand. Whilst many other farangs agreed with some or all of his points there were others that I couldn’t believe just how self-righteous they were.
I don’t understand how you can say someone’s opinion is wrong. You don’t have to agree but you must be smart enough to at least counter their opinion. These days people don’t bother to do that just believing that they are right.
I don’t know why this particular video and comments stood out to me, maybe it’s been accumulating for a while. I will cut out this view of negativity as much as I can because it is just a waste of time and energy.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Noey and Natalie were in Utopia whilst I was there this morning and they were preparing for a presentation. I wished them luck.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
I did as much of the exercises as I could this morning though I am weak in certain (most) areas. 3 sets of 60 lunges had to be cut down to 3 sets of 40 and 3 by one minute of static Superman I just held for as long as I could. But I didn’t skip or give up.
I took this picture because I’m hoping this tree can survive the move from pot to ground.
Pretty good again though getting up was a struggle but I did it and made it to my room to exercise. Hopefully, the positive effects of that become apparent to my brain today, or I may just nap!
Today I’m grateful for:
The Mad Muscles app that I downloaded but cancelled because it really isn’t much better than the free app I use.
As I had paid for a month though, I will keep using it and take that as motivation. I’ve adapted the exercises to allow for my weaknesses and sore bits too.
The best thing about today was:
Watering the garden in the late afternoon. The ground is so dry that it’s difficult to even see how just a little bit of water from our hose can make any difference to the bigger trees.
The many mangoes that budded are starting to suffer and shrivel up so I want to try and give that tree more attention. I’m jealous of a couple of small mango trees I saw last week that had loads of healthy fruit. I want that too!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I sent a couple of tapes to a customer in Australia a couple of weeks back. They contacted me today saying that they’d received the package but that it was open and empty.
As I had run out of tapes with that order, I asked the bands in Bangkok if they still had copies and asked them to send a replacement which I’m grateful for them doing immediately. I transferred the cost straight away too. Sorted.
I had another order to send to the USA and included a second tape as a freebie. I took it to the post office expecting it to cost about 250 baht ($10AUD) but it was 463 baht! It’s doubtful I’ll be able to sell much online anymore with shipping prices too expensive now.
Also, I guess what I wrote below applies here too.
Something I learned today?
Sadly, Anchan found out today that her mum will be in prison in six months.
Earlier in the afternoon she asked me to send her some money because she was desperate to contact her mum. She said she needed 300 baht, along with 200 baht that she had, to be able to talk to her. I didn’t question this but can imagine it being some kind of backhander needed to make the call. If she had another use for the money then let it be.
Anchan is pretty sad about the whole situation and it isn’t one that a 14-year-old should be in.
Despite all that, earlier in the day she wanted to contact her program leader at school to make plans to welcome the new grade 7 students at the beginning of the semester. I put them in contact.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Helping Anchan (see above).
Running Amy around in the stinking heat to get her food. First to the bingsu shop which was closed (we ended up at a different, disappointing dessert shop). Then later to get her noodles for dinner.
Did you do something difficult or challenging today?
I can probably write this every day that I exercise but there was a point this morning where I wanted to give up. I made it through.
I got frustrated with guitar again today. I did keep going for a little bit longer but not too much. Never mind. I did ten minutes I guess. A little bit every day.
I took this picture because I wanted some photos from around the house to send to Sharon and also Rob. The frangipani trees seem to revel in the dry heat.
More reasonable today though still not breathing properly and have itchy tired eyes.
I slept for almost 12 hours though it wasn’t all good sleep but I was happy to at least have the opportunity anyway. Getting up late meant that the day disappeared fairly quickly.
After coffee, I came back and watched some videos before a delicious experimental lunch that Amy made of roasted vegetable lasagna but instead of lasagna sheets using soft tortillas instead.
Then some more 3 Body Problem, more videos (I didn’t move much today!) then I made it to my room to play guitar but I wasn’t quite in the mood but still managed about 25 minutes. My room is super hot in the afternoons now and I need to go there and play guitar in the mornings when my brain feels more alert!
I’m also reminded that I need to get back to my Thaipod101 lessons now that I have some free time again.
And also I want to do some study around active listening. I figure that after 56 years on earth, I might actually start listening to what other people have to say! Of course, I may find out the opposite too.
Today I’m grateful for:
The cowman from a couple of doors down.
This evening I was about to go out and close the gate and noticed something black on the grass. On closer inspection, it was cow shit! When did that get there! We were out in the garden in the afternoon and it wasn’t there then.
I grabbed a torch and walked around the garden just to check that whatever visitors we had had gone before going to close the gate. When I got to the gate it was already shut. I figured that a cow must’ve come in and the cowman found it, chased it back out and closed the gate behind him.
The mystery was soon confirmed by our CCTV system – a mum and calf with the cowman chasing them out!
The best thing about today was:
Amy’s lunch and then in the evening, Amy’s delicious peach crumble with chocolate ice cream. What a lucky guy I am. Or was I just smart enough to pick the best person for me to marry?
Something I learned today?
Last year in the world happiness index, China was number 1, followed by Saudi Arabia and then the Netherlands. In this year’s report neither China nor Saudi Arabia were in the top 30. That’s strange! It turns out that even though their data was collected it wasn’t used in the final report meaning a white Western nation (The Netherlands) is the happiest in the world. At least, if you cherry-pick the data to your agenda.
Also, whilst watching the Netflix 3 Body Problem it seemed fairly obvious to me that the ‘China Bad’ narrative was highlighted intentionally. It followed the book in that it was a Chinese woman who made contact with the aliens but as the rest of the series wasn’t set in China, as most of the book was, it bluntly exposes Western audiences to a message of ’look what the terrible Chinese did.’ Sigh.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
I sent more messages out to students about their holidays. Checking in with them.
Paen sent me another message out of the blue talking about ending her life again. I wrote back quickly but still haven’t had an answer. I just sent her another encouraging message. I hope she’s ok.
I took this picture when closing the gate a couple of nights ago. Is this a blood moon or air pollution?
Leapt up To breathe hot air A fish out of water “Mommy, where has Goldie gone to?” Came the sharp cry from the distraught daughter Searching the scene, the empty bowl From the sofa’s safety Then mommy too Leapt up
Submitted to dVerse Form inspired by this poem at Poetry Matters “Rictameter is a scheme similar to Cinquain. Starting your first line with a two-syllable word, you then consecutively increase the number of syllables per line by two. i.e. 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 Then down again, 8, 6, 4, 2 Making the final line the same two-syllable word you began with.“
Today I’m feeling:
Pretty good after a long sleep, cold shower and coffee. Even a sudden change to plans doesn’t phase me today.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finding that the car seat covers that I would like to buy will be discounted tomorrow for the Lazada 3.3 Sale.
Now I just have to remember to order them sometime tomorrow.
The best thing about today was:
Sharing two plates of different Bingsu with Amy after lunch. One was red syrup on milk ice, the other taro. A nice and refreshing sweet cool down. This time of the year the world turns yellow and the green goes missing.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The change of plans was out of my control but didn’t bother me at all. I’ve come to expect changes at a moment’s notice now and accepted that things will not always go the way that I hope.
As I still count myself very lucky to have a lot of time for myself it’s not a big loss to give some of it up for things that come up.
Something I learned today?
The Chiang Rai train station (if it ever happens) will be somewhere between the city and Wiang Chai.
There are also plans to upgrade the airport starting next year. Things are up and running again after the fuck around of the pandemic.
Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10
Amy changed our plans for the weekend after being invited to travel to Toeng on Sunday. We will still go to the city in the morning for Grandmum’s 100 days since passing and then she’ll head off with her friends.
This meant that instead of relaxing at home all day today we had to go to the city to take the truck to get fixed and find shirts for us to wear at Amy’s brother’s wedding in a couple of weeks. It also meant an extra journey to the city and back this weekend and I was hoping to save on petrol. This month will be tight for money again.
Anyway, as usual, I just got on with it, listening to Amy complain about how hot it was and telling myself not to complain about the weather (despite it being complainable about!)
I took this picture because two days of hot weather signifying the instant change from winter to summer has seen buds breaking through in Amy’s mum’s garden.
1994ever 