Although I turned off my alarm this morning I managed to force myself out of bed and complete a task I’d set for myself – cutting the grass in our driveway. I’ve suffered all day with stinging blisters as a reminder!
I also managed to get a little reading in, a little light exercise, and write my first lessons for this new school – tomorrow I’ll be able to judge how successful they are and make adjustments.
I also managed to record half an episode of the Chiang Rai Alternative Hour – which I’m really enjoying making.
I’m pretty happy with the way the day has gone.
Gratitude Journal
I am so happy and grateful for my ability to handle and accept change.
23rd Mar 2021 – This is an important understanding in my life. Each time I go through a change I will grow. I realised this most obviously when moving from England to Australia in 1994. If I hadn’t made that change I wouldn’t have grown and be where I am now. Sometimes you are in control of changes and other times you are not – but growth will come either way. Some changes may feel like mistakes but eventually, you understand that they are not.
I am so happy and grateful today to be able to spend a few minutes with a cup of coffee and contemplate where I am in the world and what I have accomplished. It’s amazing to watch the little plants we put around our house growing into full bloom.
Five exhausting days down. Early starts, late nights, big digs and frequent fights. Building a house isn’t stressful, right? Even though I’m not physically doing the building there’s much to consider every day and without the local language, it’s an extra stress on Amy to translate and sometimes even decipher, as she doesn’t know some of the correct words and phrases for things in either language.
Language and its meaning have become an issue from time to time as, from what I can feel, Thai is quite vague about things and, of course, English likes to be precise. Words like soon, here, now, not sure and the ubiquitous yes and no can all be interpreted in many ways.
Amy has gotten used to the more precise language of English but I’ve noticed her falling back into vaguer terms which in the end frustrates me. Sometimes, she’ll get annoyed when Thai people do the same to her too. When it is other people, such as the workers building our house or Amy’s friends trying to arrange things etc then it doesn’t bother me too much but somehow when it’s Amy doing it to me and then she gets frustrated with me then it can escalate quickly depending on the moods we’ve woken up with. (This paragraph seems vague to me now on re-reading so maybe I’m adapting too!)
This week those moods have been tested by many things. The set of workers who have been here for two months have moved to a new site, dismantling their temporary shacks. We (Amy and her mum really) organised a big meal and beer and juice for their last night but that morning we had to run around to fix up a few things that the workers had broken or messed up that by lunchtime Amy and I were both getting hangry with each other.
Finally, we got some lunch and slowly our moods improved particularly after our builder dropped by and tried to help out with fixing things. Late afternoon soon came and we both couldn’t wait to start on a cold beer and we prepared tables, chairs and food.
Although most of the workers are Burmese and don’t speak Thai, and none of them speaks any English, we’ve come to know and appreciate each other whilst working together here. We can see that they are not professionals and they are doing their best, they work really hard in pretty rough conditions. If we look closely at their work we can see things aren’t straight or haven’t been done quite to the standard we might expect in the west, or the standard we might actually desire. We have to accept that you get what you pay for and this is what we can afford right now.
Honestly, we really do appreciate the work they’ve done and it was great to see their happy faces as we tried to talk with each other. We found out that they are all from Yangon and only get back home once every 2 years and it’s a three-day bus ride. We told them that we could understand how they feel, being displaced in another country. Amy has to chastise some of her friends who sometimes make derogatory comments about foreign labour ‘taking our jobs’. Yes, it’s the same here as anywhere else in the world. She reminds them that she was in the same situation for ten years in Australia and had to face the same kind of intolerance from people too.
After a few days of stress, we were somewhat more relieved at the arrival of some doors and windows. Even though we don’t have them all yet it gave us a small sense of security and a feeling that this is ours. Despite all the minor faults here and there, most of which can be fixed, we can see our home becoming more real. Now, if we can just get the final doors put in, maybe we can stop the rats and hairy worms from invading.
Talking of visitors a local dog decided to drop by and christened our new driveway gate before continuing on his way. A cat seems to have left its mark in our dining room too, something we’ll have to clean up smell-wise before we move our two in here and they decide to start doing the same thing.
This dog certainly made an impression.
We also need to start investigating what types of trees to plant to entice more birds to come and visit, in the hope that they eat more of the bugs that are hanging around. We’re on a big learning curve with the garden and due to its size just taking care of it is very time-consuming. Currently, watering takes a couple of hours. Yesterday I borrowed Amy’s dad’s strimmer, called a lawn mower here, and set about attacking the weeds and long grass that have sprouted pretty much everywhere. The strimmer uses a metal blade and our land is littered with hidden rocks and stones and I didn’t even make it halfway before the blades got messed up and the internal rotor decided it had had enough of my heavy-handedness and the thing fell apart. Looks like an easy fix but only for someone who knows what they are doing, ie. not me.
Luckily, many things seem to grow easily here. I mean, besides the weeds. Check out the size of our first mango below.
Not yet hungover, still wobbly and happily void of any stresses involved with departing my home country of the last 24 years, Thai Airways does its usual job of safe and stylish delivery. In between meals and bouts of sleep, I observe the passenger in front of me constantly annoying the hostess and interrupting her as she talks and serves others. Finally, she firmly tells him he has to wait his turn.
I tried to watch the new Blade Runner movie but this surely wasn’t the right environment. Much more satisfied with the mindless comedy of Thor: Ragnarok. Pretty sure I was still drunk at the time of arrival in Bangkok where the queues for transfer were horribly long but still, I didn’t care as other foreigners stood by and shook their heads. “Welcome to my country” as Amy sarcastically often says.
The short flight to Chiang Rai is not of any particular note except for the Sumo who steadily waddles on the plane and listens to something on his headphones. I’d like to think it’s the latest grindcore release or something equally zen.
Just my luck, I get stopped at customs, where no one ever gets stopped and they pick out the new iPhone I bought for Amy as a surprise, at duty-free in Sydney. They want me to pay tax on it. Apparently, you can bring stuff in without tax if the value is under 20,000 baht and this is over. I plead with them that I have just relocated from Australia and this is how I am welcomed to Thailand. I tell them my wife will be furious if she knows I had to pay tax on the gift. I look at them puppy-eyed. They discount the tax rate for me but it’s then I realise I only have 500 baht on me anyway. I offer it to them but they seem unimpressed. They look over my shoulder and ask ‘Is that your wife?’ Amy is waiting just beyond the doors with a curious look on her face as the officers her invite her inside.
Some discussions later we end up paying the tax and told that it was just unlucky they decided to check my bag. It’s also apparent that if the phone had been unpacked and in my pocket, no one would have noticed either.
Welcome to Thailand, indeed.
Next day the hangover finally kicks in, added to by the approach of a cold, no doubt initiated by the last night of drinking and talking which caused me to almost lose my voice. Now the coughing starts.
Both our cats are confused to see me again but we soon make up when I start feeding them. Whoever feeds them is their favourite, always. We are all camped in a bedroom in Amy’s parent’s house. A place that is her childhood home and we’ve often stayed here on our previous travels but is not quite comfortable for us as we don’t know where their things are, and all our things are stored in the multitude of boxes piled high in the living room.
We head off to visit our house, the first time I have seen it in person. Now I can appreciate the dimensions of each space, yet can’t imagine it as a home just yet. It won’t be long now and we can start filling it with the things that make it homely.
I start my life as a gardener today, breaking up big clumps of clay and watering all the various plants and trees still left growing which includes durian, ten lime trees, jackfruit (already with one big fruit almost ready), papayas, Thai chillies and multiple frangipanis. We’ve also ordered 5 Jacaranda trees that we hope will grow and blossom at the front of our land and attract visitors should we run some business from there. A small reminder of Australia too.
We pick up some drinks for the workers at the local store where I’m introduced to the shopkeeper. May as well start the village gossip at the source. I hope we’ll become good friends in the future.
The workers live in temporary tin sheds they have built alongside our house and we are doing little extra things for them to keep them content and happy to work for us. They are not quite used to some of the designs and plans that we have so we need to explain things often and carefully for them. They are very hardworking men and women, mostly from Burma, though legally working I’m told. One wife is fairly heavily pregnant and presumably (hopefully) not doing any heavy work but maybe preparing meals for everyone. Despite their poor accommodation they still have a TV and satellite dish rigged up to keep up with their favourite shows or maybe the EPL.
Despite our tiredness and my now constant coughing, dad (father-in-law) decides we must all go out to the new fish restaurant to welcome me here. I try to partake accordingly but between us, we only manage three bottles of beer. The food isn’t as good as some other places we have tried in the past and the service was still going through a teething period. There’s a big lake out front with attractive table settings but in the evening it’s a constant battle with mosquitos, which would spoil things somewhat. I still have to invest in repellents and appropriate clothing, luckily those things are very cheap here.
Both our nights are fitfully slept as I cough myself and Amy awake but we stirred at 6am to get to our house again before it gets too hot. I set about the watering, almost completely covered head to toe from the oncoming sun. Next, I need to invest in some wellington boots as my runners get covered in muddy clay. It takes about an hour and a half to water everything and I start dreaming of automatic water systems. One day, one day.
The temperature is good in the morning and stays reasonable for the rest of the day. I, however, have to retire with medicine for a nice siesta.
The siesta soon became a full nights sleep, again, broken often by coughing. But we’re up and at them at 6am again stopping off at a little shop that has been running for 45 years with just a slim menu involving tea, coffee, toast and eggs. It’s brilliant and cheap but doesn’t do enough for me as we get to our house and Amy does some supervising and I fall back asleep on a deck chair on the terrace. I have nice dreams and awake delirious before driving back home and sleeping even more, until it is time for us get prepared for our next little journey to the UK, to farewell my mother and catch up with family and friends.
22nd Jan 2024 – These shots are taken from an old camcorder tape. They feel 90s. Watching old music videos from this time, they seem to share a similar lack of clarity that is quite endearing. Like how old video games were better before, when the emphasis was on gameplay instead of display quality.
22nd Jan 2024 – No one ever told me that my glasses were crooked. I was probably still dumb enough to believe that I would have to get my nose fixed for glasses to ever be straight. I only actually started wearing glasses around 1993. It was a big step for me because it felt like there being something defective about my body. I still wanted to be cool and somehow, glasses weren’t cool.
22nd Jan 2024 – The English summers are made special by the atrocious weather for about 9 months of the year. This cat is Maya.
22nd Jan 2024 – As my mum aged slowly over the years I never really thought much about how her features changed. This picture shows how I mostly visualise her face these days. Mum and Bronwyn in the garden at the back of our house.
22nd Jan 2024 – I was going for the relaxed laid-back, slacker look which would become popular in the 90s. I was certainly feeling good at this time as I knew I was escaping life in England and a job that I had exhausted my options in. The future lay ahead. If it was scary, I had some self-belief and I somewhat put all my trust in Bronwyn and all she had told me about Australia.
Record of the week: Tourists – I Only Wanna Be With You
5th Sep 2022 – This is a great song and a couple of years later I found a sleeveless copy on yellow vinyl in Wimborne Market, probably for 50p. I don’t think they had any more popular songs, maybe released an album and then went on to achieve fame as the Eurhythmics, which was dull new wave pop that I generally detested.
An online search shows they had 3 albums and a handful of singles, the only one I recall now being ‘Blind Among The Flowers’ which preceded I Only Wanna Be With You I believe and was also excellent. All of these were released in 1979 and 1980 when bands didn’t hang around, years between albums.
18th November 1979 I want my bike 2p
19th November 1979 (tick) ^^ 2p
20th November 1979 God knows 1p
21st November 1979 England v Bulgaria (European Championship) 2-0 2-0 2-0 two-nil 1p
22nd November 1979 1. Dr Hook 2. Queen 3. Jam 4. 5. My bike comes 1p 182p* 162p*
5th Sept 2022 – Was the excitement of my bike arriving enough to distract me from the top 5 this week? A quick look online suggests there wasn’t much else to write home about, except perhaps Madness cracking the top 10. The Jam song was Eton Rifles, one of their last great singles. Funeral Pyre was the last – they’d gone too soft by this time.
23rd November 1979 My bike is here Mum did tell it came yesterday because she was going out. 2p 160p*
5th Sept 2022 – I guess this bike was a Christmas present and with it coming a full month before Christmas it still gave me enough time to beg for new presents on the actual day. She would’ve told me it was here because I would’ve discovered it in the garage anyway as I always had my nose in everything. Keeping myself entertained as an only child and in a garden about an acre in size, I was intimate with every nook and cranny. I knew places to hide and spy from, football was best behind the sheds where the two apple trees could be goalposts. Athletics could be run around the top lawn as it was mown with an oval around the edges. This tree was good for one thing and that tree good for another. The garage I often rearranged to make it more convenient, first for my bike, then motorbike and later drum kit and sofa,
24th November 1979 Hope Graeme comes Ipswich 3-1 Soton 2p 180p*
5th Sep 2022 – It’s possible Graeme didn’t come because his folks forbid him to see me anymore as they decided I was a bad influence. I was bemused by this as it seemed that he was always the bad influence on me.
5th Sep 2022 – I had an irrational hatred of Peter Shilton. Maybe it was his curly hair or the fact that he kept Ray Clemence out of the England team whom I considered a better keeper.
1994ever 