Tag: John Stuart Mill

This Is Awkward – 2nd January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Spending so long seeking the solution
The geniuses all come and go
Is the quest for knowledge just an illusion
When the answers’ children already know?

Inspired by Existential Comics #570

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again but still with a little dizziness. I got up at 6.30 am to get to the hospital by 7 and proceeded with my health checks, blood, poop and pee etc.

All reports were good except for something a little higher than normal connected with perhaps too much sugar/carb intake and they suggested a follow-up in three months.

I also booked a prostate exam and have a physio appointment later this month for my shoulder.

After that, I went off to immigration for my 90-day check, ate some lunch at Oasis, paid off my debt at Utopia and was back home by midday.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

All the hospital staff who helped me again and the nurses who hooked me up the EKG and were laughing at some private joke, possibly/probably, at my expense.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling like I was getting things done and there being lots of time.

Something I learned today?

My general health seems to be pretty good. Whilst it doesn’t explain all the aches, pains and dizziness I experience, at least they don’t point to anything serious.

Perfect Image – 16th May 2022

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Caught in my first impression
Trapped by a spider’s smile
The tail-wagging dog bites
The hand after a while

Escape at the realisation
Is never a pretty sight to behold
Be better to live with the mess
If the truth be told

From Eric Barker’s newsletter:

How do we make love last? A lot of people fear that if they raise issues with their partner it can lead to arguing and that will end the relationship. So they stay silent…

But it is doubleplusungood wrongthink to believe that complaining is a problem. The research shows bottling up actually ends more marriages than arguing. Complaining, in the big picture, is actually a positive – it gets issues out in the open where they can be resolved. What leads to divorce isn’t complaining; it’s criticism.

From Plays Well With Others:

Complaining is actually healthy for a marriage. It’s criticism that predicts divorce. Complaining is when I say you did not take the trash out. Criticism is when I say you did not take the trash out because you’re a horrible person. The first is about an event, the second is about your fundamental personality. To keep your relationship solid, turn your criticisms into complaints. Address the event, not the person.

To say that criticism is bad for a relationship is like saying “The Grand Canyon is kinda big.” True but insufficient. Researcher John Gottman found it was one of four things that predicted divorce 83.3% of the time.

So don’t be afraid to raise that issue — but don’t make it personal. Address the problem, not their character. This leads to conversations that actually make your relationship stronger.

Whilst I’m inclined to agree with the above sentiment, I thought about how this has played out in my life. Another factor that came into play for me was low self-esteem. So that when my partner may have been complaining, I took it personally as criticism. This is particularly what ended my marriage with Bronwyn, along with a whole bunch of other factors that added up to become too much for me to deal with.

I’m much better with this these days but it can still rear its ugly head from time to time, though I’m usually aware of it even if I can’t put my finger on it.

He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that.

John Stuart Mill

Gratitude Journal

I am so happy and grateful to see Hayden starting to do some rewarding work this week. I hope it makes him feel fulfilled and happy.

Fatman report