They are on to us! We’re being hunted down but nothing’s going to stop it!
Highly curated, carefully selected and specifically ordered* for your listening edification by world-renowned DJtenzenmen, who has over 100 years of experience in this business.
This week there’s music from Peter Black, The Saints, June of 44, Beastie Boys, Kurws, Plam, Satan’s Rats, Madness, Krause, Hard-Ons, Alamaailman Vasarat, Wall of Dwarfs, Motelli Skronkle, HIRS, OMFO, Tako, Septic Death, The 1985, Space Negros and Charming Hostess.
Intro and background music by Utotem, Phantom Tollbooth, Daniel Striped Tiger and someone else I forgot.
Incidentals taken from the Church of the Sub Genius Hour of Slack.
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Madness – Baggy Trousers on the brain box. George mentioned them last week.
What was my dream? I remember not being very happy about something. I want to sleep more. Beautiful clear day today bright and sunny but not hot yet. Eaten by mosquitoes. Amy’s birthday – she got sad-drunk last night after her parents had a fight discussing their property and who it should be willed to. Amy feels her mum loves her brother more than her and has felt that for a long time. She said I was lucky to be an only child. Maybe.
Itchy itchy – mini workout. Work my way up. Dentist today and need money! Eat and drink – go out tonight – not sure yet. Itchy itchy everywhere. Meditate it away.
I am so happy and grateful for a sunny morning, time to wash clothes.
So, early a.m. we catch the commuter train with the suits and the smart dressed young ladies into the city to pick up a hire car. Broni handles the controls, this being our first Oz car driving experience together. It’s already a blistering hot day at 9am. Slowly but surely we make it across the city to Wendy’s (Broni’s oldest sister) to pick up some stuff, then on out of the city, where suburbia ends and turns into farms and small town communities.
In the distance we can see the Blue Mountains beckoning us. We stop off for some salad, watching big carrier planes taking off from the army base close by and yippee, I get to take over the controls and charge us through the countryside, to the bottom of the mountains, slowly up, twisting turns, the smell of gum invading our nostrils, sun blazing in blue, oh blue sky faint whisper of cloud.
We catch a brief glimpse from hilltop back to where we came, a breathtaking spectacle but we are still onwards, upwards, through orchard country and then into the real mountains with burnt scrub bushland, crickets screaming out their mad calls deafeningly loud in unison, cancelling out the radio. Road still twisty we balance on the edge of precipices looking into long deep vale valleys covered in black eerie gum tress caught in last years fires, for all the eye can see everything burnt, charred, like a graveyard to the flora, to nature and it’s wonder, each tree stood like a monument proud into the sky, now beginning to show signs of growth again.
For some half an hour we carry on through this beautiful landscape before descending down into the old coal mining town of Lithgow, and from here we drive for another hour across plains and farms to our destination, Bathurst, Australia’s oldest inland city. And here, at Broni’s parents, we make a brief stop before we head out to some places to look at with the intention of finding some place to get married and as usual, with our positive outlooks and thinking we find somewhere quickly that is an ideal place for marriage ceremony and reception so then we high tail round town to try and find a priest who might marry us outside, something which they are not known to do.
We run out of time doing that but not before a quick run up Mount Panorama round the race course there, where some guy got himself killed in the Janes Hardie 1000, going much faster than us I might add. During the rest of the year the course is open like a normal road, with a picnic stop at the top. Weird driving round roads with tyre barriers and red and white caution markers on the corner bumps.
Back to base we lazy away the rest of the evening in conversation and old photographs.
P.S. The crazy natural amphetamine of youth! Ya!
Main picture taken on top of Mount Panorama with my best man, Rob, March 1995.
So now I’m taken to writing about this place that I live cos it’s meant a lot to me.* Let me describe some the two places me and my love shared before we came here, just to balance out the picture for you.
Well, December 92 saw me move away from mamas castle and seek out life on my own – find out what it’s all about and all that. Best way for my unsure legs to find some security was to live with people I knew so I prepared myself to live with mad Mick, a boyfriend of a friend that I’ve long known. Together we had to prepare his house for my arrival as there was already one other living there (drunk Rich) and not enough bedrooms.
Now, this house was mid-terrace in the centre of town (or near as dammit – just a spit from all facilities one could wish for, pub, chip shop, late corner store, town centre and hospital!) At the front was a main road, facing more houses and an old folks community Centre. At the rear a yard with a kind of singletrack service road and the backyards of the houses on the other side.
I was to have the big front bedroom that looked over the main road. Mick and Rich were not great housekeepers but that was fine with me. Many drunken nights had taken a toll on the house and its possessions – though plenty more were to come.
So it was Mick and I chop the living room in half by erecting a wall in the middle – a wall we were proud off because it stood and we didn’t believe it would! The kitchen and the bathroom both got our attention too though enthusiasm waned for DIY as time passed by and I moved in.
My room was the exception of the house tidywise as I cleaned it thoroughly before moving in and can sometimes be bothered to look after myself in that way. As the DIY got slated in favour of wild nights out some rooms became difficult to traverse. The Black & Decker workmate would often have to be negotiated to enter the kitchen or the bathroom. At one time the bathroom floor was awash with wood shavings and dust and even when clean and finished, the carpet held the dusty dullness. This was not a worry for us young active men who had no time to such activities as tidying up and our house (I could now call at ‘our’ house) was prone to the ‘let’s go to Mick’s’ after the pub closed syndrome i.e. it was a party house.
After only one month here I met my love (I knew I would) and after two more months (and a lot more story not yet wrote) she moved into my room. We were blissful and our surroundings did not bother us. Drunk Rich’s girlfriend moved in too.
As spring turned quickly into summer (I remember summer coming early) we’d all often sit outside for breakfast on any of the many cable drums I had deposited in the backyard as furniture. We’d chat lazily and plan the day in the hot sun. The summer wore on and my love and I made the decision to save up and leave the country – this we decided was not going to be an easy task in such a madhouse, and with that, with many other personal reasons, we up’d all our possessions into Pete and Catherine’s next door!
They both seemed reasonable people and not such drunken unreliable maniacs. This time we shared a back room a lot smaller and much of that taken up by a big double bed. This was luxury to us as we’d been squeezed into a single bed next door for several months. And so it was we slept most of the time on one side of the bed!
Not all our possessions would fit in the one room so we took up some of the spare too. This is where I think our first problem arrived. Most of my stuff was in that room and I’d spent much of my time there are my sweetheart would occupy herself in the bedroom. The kitchen too was small and the bathroom, though having the best show ever, being built as a downstairs extension, soon produced great mushrooms of mould. Though glad of a change in circumstance I felt this move may not have been a good choice.
Most nights we’d all sit together watching TV, eating our meals, drinking some beer and smoking some dope and as winter drew in, lit a cosy open fire. Though often interspersed by nights out or friends coming round we soon got bored with this and tried to occupy ourselves much more upstairs in our rooms but it wasn’t really working out. We soon got to the stage of going round to our friend’s (Kerry) house every night and spent a horrible chickenpox Christmas there.
We knew then that we had to leave so took to looking for flats or bedsits. Not cheaply priced in this area and not much for your money we were despondent of our situation until a longtime pal mentioned we could move into where he and his girlfriend were moving out from, as they were off to live in a house they’d just bought.
It looks like I didn’t actually get round to writing much about that house in the end. Just this:
*Blinding brightness descends from heaven across the viewpoint in my yard, as I sit here and ponder. Here I am surrounded by bricks and mortar, shining pinks and reds in the sunlight and I smile, a beam of happiness. Even though the buildings encroach my view I am here with the trees and the flowers, the grass, and insects buzzing wildly by on their own little lives of adventure. And with the people. Gentle wisps of cloud delicately float by then evaporate in the all-encompassing, unforgiving heat of the sun, our noon Moon. Children play and scream in the dirt road at the bottom of the garden, down a gentle slope.
Record of the week: Madness – One Step Beyond Highest entry: Madness – One Step Beyond
29th Aug 2022 – I think it’s pretty much impossible for pre/early adolescents not to love this song. I still love it now though its familiarity has worn a little thin.
11th November 1979 Nothing 2p
12th November 1979 (tick) Not a lot 2p
13th November 1979 today 2p
14th November 1979 Six weeks til me bike comes 2p 195p*
30th Aug 2022 – It’s funny to see the affected writing using me instead of my. Is it an English thing? It feels like it. Northern perhaps? Scottish or Irish influence? Blackie from the Hard-Ons still uses it when he’s sending emails, messages etc. It also reminds me of Gilesy who never says fucking but fooking. It sounds weird to me but it seems to be his thing.
Anyway, me bike was an Eddy Merckx 12-speed racing bike ordered from the huge catalogues that appeared once or twice a year. I didn’t know who Eddy Merckx was but the catalogue spiel sold me on it. I thought it was something special.
I don’t know where these came from but I think they were free. Grattans was the name of one. They contained everything such as kitchen items, clothes, tools, toys etc and usually at a cheaper price than in the shops, though by the time shipping charges were added they probably ended up the same.
For teen boys (maybe girls too) the fashion pages were prime material to get excited about, especially the underwear sections. Without any access to porn, this was as good as it got. I still prefer to be stimulated by a semi-clothed body rather than a naked one. I’ve got an imagination that I want to use.
15th November 1979 1. Dr Hook 2. Lena Martell 3. Queen 4. Jam 5. Commodores 6. Abba 2p
16th November 1979 (tick) If I don’t find something to say soon I’ll do something about it 2p
30th Aug 2022 – Seems I was even annoyed at myself at the time for what felt like boring days. I bet they weren’t boring at all and filled with forgotten episodes or creative stupidity.
17th November 1979 Ipswich v ? Graeme came
30th Aug 2022 – Why I didn’t write more? We would’ve got up to loads of mischief but maybe the mischief was so prevalent that it wasn’t worthy of mention. We usually walked up to Queen’s Copse and dicked around there. To be honest, there wasn’t much to do there, occasionally we’d stumble through farmer’s fields and get chased by bulls, piss on electric fences and find dead snakes. I got my mum to take a couple of pictures with her Polaroid Instamatic as Graeme and I pulled ‘punk’ poses that we’d learned from whatever magazines we’d come across.
Record of the week: Madness – The Prince Chart entries: Dickies 40, Michael Jackson, The Police – Message in a Bottle
26th Jun 2022 – I was really taken with The Prince by Madness and there wasn’t the hype around the whole 2-Tone thing yet, at least not out in the sticks where I was; that really took off over the following 12 months.
Not being cool enough to own a leather jacket (ultimately, I have never actually owned a real leather jacket) I had to make do with my denim jacket and then not being cool enough to own any patches to sew onto it, I just sewed the words ‘The Prince’ across the back as best I could.
The Prince was to be my nom-de-plume for a week or so (and pretty much just in my head) until I got too confused about whether Madness were punk or not and if it was ok to like them. To be honest, they were impossible not to like.
And so it was on one weekend Market Day, my mum took me with her to go bargain and thrift shopping and I could proudly sport my denim jacket for all to admire and maybe it did or didn’t but what did draw attention to some critics was the fact that this little punky looking kid was still wearing flares. I didn’t know that us punks weren’t supposed to wear flares! What a faux pas! I begged my mum to fix that as quickly as possible after getting home somewhat humiliated.
16th September 1979 Nothing 2p 2p 284p*
17th September 1979 Nothing 2p 282p*
18th September 1979 A bit more than yesterday Homework 2p 2p 278p*
19th September 1979 Dunno 2p 276p*
20th September 1979 1. Cars 2. Cliffie 3. ELO 4. Bellamy Brothers 5. Dollar 6. Crusaders 7. BA Robertson 8. Police 9. Randy Van 10. Roxy Music 2p 274p*
21st September 1979 Dunno 2p 1p
22nd September 1979 Ipswich 1-1 Everton 2p 1p
26th Jun 2022 – Wimborne Market was a treasure trove for weird punk records for a while in the early 80s. I picked up Restricted Code’s ‘First Night On’ which I had been hunting for ages after hearing it just once on John Peel’s show. A classic tune. I picked up an album by the Sods from Denmark and a weird compilation of Scandinavian bands and Captain Sensible songs. The Big Balls and the Great White Idiot album and Eu’s Arse 7″. It was so weird to find these already odd things in amongst all the dross and crap of typical second-hand record stalls at the time.
Another good stall there had huge piles of old 2000AD back issues in varying states of decay. I did attempt a full collection for a while but the first 30 or so issues were impossible to find at reasonable prices. Moving to Australia in 1994 saw me sell 98% of the comics I owned including all my 2000ADs. There’s something special about finding piles of old comics in shops. A random collection of oddities that beg a story of the person who might’ve owned them. Who were they and where are they now?
Of course, as time went on the pickings got slimmer and when I visited again around 2015 or so there wasn’t even a record stall to speak of, just batches of CDs piled next to piles of books. Zero comic content. However, the candy man was still there and I spent an unreasonable amount of pounds on good old British sweets that would last me the holiday at the time.