Are we the baddies? You’d better believe it We’ve been found out even by our friends They finally saw through the lies we told As we manipulated them for our own ends
Are we the baddies? But we were told The world only wants what we can give And our freedom and democracy Is what they all needed to live
Are we the baddies? Oh we surely are Slowly our friends left our sinking ship Despite a desperate clinging on to hope We’ve slowly been losing our grip
The wise sage, somewhat cynical Knows what to say and when The optimist, still straight and clinical Is in trouble with words again
Yet when the time came to inspire The sage’s words fell short Because one’s dreams also require Revision to what has been taught
Maybe the fire inside was unseen So the sage had to be let go Not understanding what it would mean To be held back by what one would know
Inspired by a newsletter from Daivd Elikwu about the dangers of role models and my own experience I am currently revisiting from 2020 with my then role model, George.
I recall the forests walked in winters Kings Copse and Queens Copse Muddied paws, misty views Foreboding darkness within Fresh pine beds for love’s liaisons Illicit affairs away from spies Let’s hope no one else is walking their dogs Wet nose Surprise!
Shared with dVerse MTB: An Etheree Tree and inspired my explorations in my youth where I would often walk our dog or just go exploring for fun. Sometimes, with my first girlfriend and hidden deep within the dark confines of the forest, we would lay down on the soft pine needle bed. Queen’s Copse is a pine forest and King’s Copse is an oak forest. There are not many pictures from this area and the one above doesn’t really show just how dark it was inside, just a few feet away from the track. No light was getting in there.
A varied melancholy, pulsating darkness Even though full and flourished Despite outward appearance and circumstances Darkness wills to be nourished
Untended beds, fallow of seed Indisposition of the spirit The lack of meaning we all need Only if willing to hear it
Acknowledge the ineffable, under cover Unmeasurable, outside the rational Keep the devils at bay, from taking over Connect the universal truths eternal
It’s a splendid winter wood – On a chilly December morning – – The crunchy road straight – – Towards the gnarly wooden gate – Unhinged a snowy warning Where splendid walls once stood
It’s a splendid moss a-growing – To shade this dewy frost – – Ray’s barely breaking through – – Another turn remained true – At a further year’s cost Awaiting the splendid summer’s glowing
Ok, after a pretty good sleep. We had the aircon on again for a while last night and that seemed to improve both our sleep.
Today is Father’s Day, and so that means a holiday, though Amy has invited her family over for lunch, so she’s busy this morning. I will come back and vacuum after coffee.
No exercise this morning and an extra hour in bed. Not thinking about doing much today except reading.
Health:
Physical: 6 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Having a spare hard drive so that I can back up all my comic book files to it. There had been some power outages last week and the drive the files are on took a few days to re-index itself, so I got a little worried if I suddenly lost them all.
The best thing about today was:
Almost two hours of guitar playing. Although it was frustrating at times, I can feel myself slowly improving – so long as I don’t take too many days off between playing.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I felt ok in the morning, ready for family lunch but after eating, I just became overwhelmed with exhaustion.
Whilst everyone was chatting, I came into the living room and read for a few minutes before turning onto my side to sleep. The morning coffees kept my mind active for a little while but soon enough I was out for the count, perhaps for almost two hours.
Even on waking up, I felt like my brain wasn’t working yet. Amy came in and looked at me and asked if I was awake (despite the fact that I was reading) and I shook my head. She could see that I wasn’t quite with it.
Now it’s evening I feel quite good again and just hope that I can sleep ok tonight.
Something I learned today?
Out of 113 countries, Thailand ranks 101 for its general English language ability.
Being in the education system here, I can understand this position. I feel helpless and so sorry for all these lovely kids being so let down.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
After waking up in the afternoon and talking a little with Amy, she said that it was her friend’s birthday and she wanted to go and see her. She asked me if I would take her there and though I was still lethargic, I figured it would be good to get her out of the house so I could chill at home.
I got my haircut today and as usual, I gave the lady 100 baht even though she only charges 60.
I also took some watermelon to Baipad, which I bought at Kotchapol whilst looking for some food for myself. I bought some fresh buttered corn on the cob and pomelo – enough to keep me going without having another full meal.
Were you true to yourself? Did you honour your dreams? Did the choices you made mean what it means? Did your daily bread fulfil all your desires? Do you have time left to enjoy what inspires?
Did you suppress your thoughts to keep the peace? Are you bitter withholding, without any release? Is there anyone left now to hold your hand? Were friendships gone what you had planned?
Now you’ve concluded happiness is a choice But it’s too late now for your youth to rejoice Your life had possibility, as good as it gets Your heart is aching with these dying regrets
Today I’m feeling:
OK on waking but I struggled with exercise this morning. Just not enough energy in my bones!
Lots of students skipped school today and with a holiday tomorrow, I can imagine Friday will be sparse too. And I just found out that next Tuesday is a holiday too! Easy.
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Kru Tang for fighting with me (see below). We had quite a noisy too and fro in front of some students but at the end of the day, neither of us was upset with each other, just with the situation.
The best thing about today was:
My first class today only had 7 students and 3 of those wanted to go off to do some work to improve their SchoolBright scores.
I let them go off, chatted with the four remaining students and then with Kru David, and our students Dutchie and Boty.
My second class, only about half of them turned up so we just did some vocabulary study and a quiz to fill up the time.
It’s fun to be around the students when it’s relaxed.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
The school deducted 1000 baht from my salary last month because I never sign out after 4.30 pm. I knew this was coming but it was still annoying. Especially as I invest so much of my time and energy in the students.
However, it doesn’t seem that that is what the school really cares about but just that everyone follows the rules.
I argued my point with Kru Tang but there was nothing she could really do.
So I will make some adjustments to my effort and involvement whilst still doing what is required. I’ll try and look at it positively in that it will give me more time to catch up on reading and writing, though it will probably cut down my guitar playing.
Something I learned today?
I used the Brisk Teaching AI to make presentations and quizzes for me and after checking the results, they are really good. I will use it a lot more in future. This is a good practical use for AI.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
I still feel slightly aggrieved about losing 1000 baht today. I guess I’ll have to take a day off sometime so that I can make up for it. I know it shouldn’t bother me that much and it’s just me feeling underappreciated. I know that hard work is its own reward.
Pretty good, though I got a bit tired after walking around a lot for the parade in the morning and then around the sports field later when it became stinky hot and everyone was complaining and wanted to go home.
It was fun though but I left at one pm ready to relax at home!
Health:
Physical: 7 Mental: 7
Today I’m grateful for:
Gina and Lin. I lent them my umbrella as they were getting hot standing around in the sun. I figured that I would catch up with them again before they started moving the parade.
Unfortunately, by the time I got to the end of the line they were already arriving in the stadium. When I caught up with them they told me that Kru Tan had taken the umbrella but now we didn’t know where she was.
I looked around for a while but then told Gina and Lin that I would be in the cafe and they could call me when they had it again.
A little later, they called me and said they were outside the cafe with the umbrella and I thanked them for returning it for me, though they now had to walk back to the stadium again without it!
The best thing about today was:
Taking photos of all my students as they waited in the parade. Later, I enjoyed sending the photos out to all of them.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
After getting home, I went to my room to play guitar but suddenly felt a drop in energy, so I stopped after about ten minutes. I came back inside and, after a while, felt like perhaps I had mild sunstroke.
I even closed my eyes for a little while and was about to drop into a deep sleep when Amy shouted me awake as I hadn’t eaten yet. I felt like I could just go to bed and sleep until tomorrow but I’m glad I didn’t in the end.
Hopefully, I will sleep well tonight.
Review your acts, Good and bad.
Augus told me that there was a handsome boy sitting under the trees, so I went over and got his Instagram for her! She was happily shocked at this. Later, though, she sent me pictures from his Instagram of the boy and his girlfriend.
I tried to help students stay cool in the shade of my umbrella when I had it or just in the shade of my body otherwise. Even though it’s winter, the sun is still intense when you stand out in the open.
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