Tag: poetry

One Of The Gang – 16th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

Showed my buds, I’m one of them
When they watched me stick it in
I bring freedom with a gun
And I’m responsible for no one

We three, prod and poking
Watching the sunset paradise
Sipping dry martinis of tears
Laughing at a 12-year-old’s fears

We three, the seventy per cent
Paid us for our duty
A dividing line, a locked gate
Allows us to rob and rape

Watch again as I stick it in
We’re bonding over this flesh
This little girl, powerless in pain
Coerced to let the gang remain

After reading about the 1995 gang rape of a 12-year-old girl by three US soldiers in Okinawa.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again, though my body is aching from all the work I’ve been putting it through.

I tried to sleep longer but my brain was already awake, so I got up and set Amy’s sheets to wash while I came out for coffee.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The sweet Chinese milk drink that was at the Mala hotpot shop where we had lunch today. It’s delicious, but sadly, it must be full of sugar. It’s one of the best solutions for a chilli-burnt palate.

The best thing about today was:

Nothing in particular stands out today – it’s been a great day all round with me doing all the usual things I like as well as a bit of running around with Amy, who kindly paid for our spicy lunch and a strawberry and cream croissant for dessert.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In a turn of events, a couple of my students are hassling me to check their homework! It’s usually me hassling them to submit it!

Something I learned today?

I’ve been practising one song in particular in Yousician for perhaps a year already and it has been a slog. I made a bit of progress about 8 weeks ago and it is only now that I can feel a little more progress again.

I learned lots of semi-forgettable information today but this achievement stood out a little for me whilst I was playing guitar. I was quite pleased with myself.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Some of my grade 9 students have interviews today for their programs next year, so I sent them some good luck messages.

Amy took this picture because Tigger was enjoying some daytime grass rolling before the stress of the nighttime festivities this weekend.
Fatman report

Chess With Pigeons – 15th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Lined up against the wall
Identified with your tribe
Where does the mindset shift
From the rules that you prescribe?

This game isn’t easy
Yet played out every day
All uniquely similar
In deeds and words we say

Incited to live in fear
Lies are told as true
Only some allowed to win
But tell that you can too

A race to become less tolerant
Can be run in any way seen fit
Upend the board and strut around
Covering everything in shit

Inspired by this great post at The Renegade Press

Today I’m feeling:

Good once I got moving and going. Exercise and hangs were a bit more difficult today as my arms are tired from doing this more often but hopefully it will settle down to strengthening everything.

With a long day ahead, I’m still feeling positive and on top of things but definitely looking forward to resting up at the weekend.

Health:

Physical: 8
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Ploughing through the day and continuing when I got home. Using energy is giving me motivation to draw on my reserves.

The best thing about today was:

A student that I hadn’t met before said, ‘Hi, Teacher Shaun’. I asked her who she was and we talked a little and she said ‘I like Teacher Shaun.’

I asked her why, and she said ‘I’m ใจดี๊’, meaning kind-hearted. As I’d never talked with her before, I assumed that she had heard this from other students.

Either way, it made me feel good.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

In my short break between classes today, I was hoping to enjoy some peace in the cafe but there was some meeting going on and I was relegated to an uncomfortable low table but I got on with a few things anyway. It was a bit rushed but it was good not to drop the energy levels and flake through the afternoon.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Amy is in a feisty, drunken mood and being a bit loud and dramatic. I’m doing my best to entertain her but the day is catching up with me and I just want to read and relax until I fall asleep.

Our cats were extremely scared and bothered by the fireworks for Loy Kratong last night. Amy let them both into the bedroom, which I knew was a bad idea but didn’t want to say anything.

Cap settled by my head, but Tigger was hiding under the lounge, and I got back to reading. After a while, I saw movement to my right, and Tigger had come out onto Amy’s bed. Unfortunately, he wasn’t sitting but pissing. I quickly got him off and pulled up the doona but it had also gone through to the sheet too.

I got them off the bed and into the washing machine and Amy complained that I wasn’t watching them whilst she got stuff prepared to sleep in the other room.

Art took this picture because the sunlight through the cafe window was giving a beautiful soft morning glow to Piti and me.

Build Your Brain – 14th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 12 Comments

Million dollar questions
Blind spots abound
Magical machine limitations
Mapping mountains found

Collect complementary artefacts
Elevate our understanding
Synaptic message transference
Magic made mind-expanding

Engaged spatial reasoning
Exempt obedient demands
Onwards and upwards
Internal freedom commands

Everything ever got
Meant diddly squat

…say what!?…

Inspired and paraphrased from a David Elikwu newsletter and shared with dVerse Quadrille #212 – what

Today I’m feeling:

Great with an underlying tiredness that isn’t really bothering me.

I got up and got going, enjoyed a couple of simple classes where I had time to interact a bit more with some of the poorer students.

Got home by 2 pm and straight into my room sorting more comic files and a bash around on guitar. With practising a little bit more this week, I can feel some improvement. The only downside is that with the dead hangs that I’ve been doing, my fingers aren’t quite moving so freely. Hopefully they will as they get used to be used.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Kru Mai helping me by switching one of my Friday classes to Wednesday so that I have more to do on Wednesday and fewer hours to teach on Friday.

The best thing about today was:

No one thing in particular. It was a good day all round. I have a suspicion that I will be very tired and catching up on rest on Saturday, though.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Nothing stands out here today. Everything went well enough.

Something I learned today?

In my classes, I notice subtle changes in relationships and today I talked with Wipping in the morning, who is fed up with some of the nonsense that goes on with her friend group. She separated herself a little to concentrate on studying, and I talked with her a little about how she is probably a bit more mature than her friends, but that they will catch up one day and she should hang in there.

Later, Miyor arrived with a different friend group than usual and she told me later that she and Khaofang had a falling out over nothing much. Those two are always clashing over something, though and I wonder if things will be back to normal again next week.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I messaged Kru Jern about our student Nomsen, as she always complains about a headache and wanting to sleep. She also has lots of sores on her arms and she says it is because she is itchy.

I asked Kru Jern to check in with her because whatever issues Nomsen is having, it is affecting her ability to concentrate in class. She’s a good kid and I like her and want to give her all the opportunities that I can whilst she is my student.

I took this picture because when I got home, Tigger was here chattering away. I’m not sure what he was talking about. There was nothing obvious outside the window.

A Crack In The World – 13th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What version of me did I show you?
Was the impression left in your mind
The enigmatic or the sad and sulky?
Which one would you prefer to find?

I was hiding, desperately
Trying to be anything but myself
To slip through a crack in the world
Leaving an image of someone else

I cross each bridge as I burn it
Wait impatiently for the credits to roll
Each day takes a small part of me
Once put together defines the whole

Inspired by a few paraphrased quotes within.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good after a slightly better sleep last night and waking up with a start to my alarm. Some tough exercise, as eating ice cream for the last three days has increased my weight more than I would like.

It’s weird Wednesday with just one 50-minute class today at 12.40, so lots of sitting around, thinking, reading and writing.

(Later) I let my class catch up with the work that I had asked them to do and started checking those who had finished. In a flash, it was over and done with an exclamation of ‘shit’ when I was told it was time to finish!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The old uncle at the 20 baht shop who let me change over the light bulbs for a different colour and to pay the difference.

He was a bit slow working out the difference to pay, but I let him do it with a calculator and a phone, hoping that he might make a mistake in my favour!

The best thing about today was:

Finishing off the little project of writing 52 mini poems – an idea that I started a couple of months ago.

Though some of them are just little throwaway ideas and ruminations, there are a few that I rate quite highly.

Something I learned today?

It was Mimi’s 16th birthday today. I found out when I entered class and saw a mangled half-eaten cake on the desk! She’s from my new grade 10 class and I haven’t really got to know these new students yet but she seems to be a happy and friendly kid and the work she did today was good.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I dropped by to see Baipad as she was throwing up yesterday and didn’t come to school. She wasn’t there today either but I felt certain that she was feeling better and just being lazy.

I got her to agree to come to school tomorrow and also continued to try to encourage her to do something nice for the boy that she likes.

I took this picture because it’s a tough life for this fat little cafe cat.

In Submission – 12th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

A smart-mouthed bad crazy-drunk
Forgotten night of manic adventure
Black-eyed slurred self-pity
Another slug of ‘no surrender’

The door opened by the bottle
Ushers safety within its cage
Discard the day of tired dreams
Darkness enlightens the stage

The truest friend ever found
Til the comfort became a curse
A body weighted in dilemma
On a mission to submerse

Down, down under the table
Joined by the rats and the finks
Afraid of love, the amber’s pull
Further into the ether sinks

Another sniff to calm the edges
Eyes hidden from the light
Til Jesus was doing cartwheels
Across the lawn one night…

Submitted to AllPoetry.com competition of Walter Mosley’s Easy Rawlins quotes. Quote as prompt (and paraphrased):“Jesus was doing cartwheels across the lawn in the porch light.”

Today I’m feeling:

Well motivated and fairly refreshed despite waking often after the aircon went off during the night. Somehow, being cold as night helps me sleep, and I wonder if there is such a thing as male menopause.

Health:

Physical: 8
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The ENT lady who quickly sent me on my way with a little more medicine and told me I only needed to come back if my choked-up vocal cords came back again.

I’m not sure if the medicine helped or if it was the combination of vitamin C and not drinking icy cold water, or a combination of everything. Either way, if my symptoms continue to improve, I’ll stop taking the medicine at some point.

The best thing about today was:

Managing to do a lot of catching up and getting into the flow of writing after a quick visit to the hospital, where I was quickly seen and on my way again. I felt anxious to get some things cleared up and just got busy with it.

From my morning class to afternoon class, I felt like I was always on the go and continued when I got home, out into my room to sort more comic files, play guitar and listen to music.

It’s only now at 8 pm that I’m starting to feel the effects and will soon head to bed, though hopefully once there will be able to get some comic reading in before succumbing to sleep.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Halfway through my first lesson, the projector stopped working, so I quickly sent the work that I wanted written into our chat group and spent the next ten minutes or so calmly trying to find a solution.

I messed around with the VGA and HDMI cables and got it working again without too much interruption to the flow of the lesson.

At some points in my past, I would’ve let things like this fluster me, but I’m fairly adaptable these days to figuring out other ways to get around a problem.

Something I learned today?

The light bulbs that I bought at the 20 baht shop yesterday are the wrong colour (not warm white) and I’ll have to swap them back over soon. I was trying to save money and bought the cheapest ones there.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I dropped Amy’s cookies off at Utopia when I went to pick up my coffee before school. Sadly, Art wouldn’t fall for my request to give the money to me to pass on to Amy.

Someone took this picture at Utopia last week. I should get paid for all the ‘modelling’ work that I do here!

Queen Of Dreams – 11th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments

Holding your breath
Waiting for the turn
Hoping for the Queen of Dreams
with another lesson to learn

Rolling the dice
Waiting to settle
Dancing with the Queen of Dreams
with pedal to the metal

Playing the game
Waiting to win
Turning to the Queen of Dreams
without becomes within

Written for No Theme Thursday picture prompt (above) and Poets and Storytellers United – holding your breath

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good despite a slightly disrupted sleep, which I’m thinking may be down to the two double-shot coffees I have on the weekends. I only have one on weekdays, so perhaps I need to switch back to the double-ris on weekends.

Apart from that, I’m still in a good mood and my classes have kept me busy and entertained all day.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Feeling energised and on top of things in my classes and doing all the things I needed during my 50-minute break.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling like an actual English teacher for a moment!

It’s weird to say but working more with some of the older students, who are more interested in actually learning and improving, has focused me a little more on teaching the language, more than just helping the students practice using language (by just reading and writing).

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I still have a problem with no classroom available to teach my afternoon grade 11s and today ended up in the canteen, which wasn’t exactly ideal but everyone got on with it as best they could and I wrapped up pretty quickly, giving the students work to send me before the weekend.

Something I learned today?

Ipswich won their first game of the season yesterday! Hooray! They beat Spurs away from home two-one. Amazing!

I took this picture because ‘our’ little cow was resting here in the morning when I was about to leave for work. Left us a lot of useful poop too.

One More Time – 10th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 37 Comments

Amongst the beauty of everyday
Familiarity may breed contempt
Waking with enthusiasm to play
Becomes more difficult to attempt

Maybe it’s a concrete jungle
Or a paradise you are facing
Each day a success or bungle
The happy rats keep on racing

So here it is and here we are
Another mountain for us to climb
Our attitude got us this far
‘cross crystal waters, one more time

Written for Sadje’s What Do You See picture prompt (above) and Reena’s Xploration Challenge – everydayness.
3rd Sep 2025 – Submitted to dVerse Poetics Tuesday – life and lemons

Today I’m feeling:

A little brighter today and trying to fight laziness. Must push hard as I spend a lot of my free time lying down and reading. I love reading but need to move my body more. What to do?

(Later) I avoided the dreaded nap today by playing guitar badly for more than an hour in my room and messing around sorting files on my computer for music and comics. Both things get me so excited, along with reading books too.

And before I know it, it’s dark outside, early evening as the winter slowly creeps nearer, yet I feel full of energy.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady who served me at Tanapiraya, who remained fairly calm as there were many customers at the time and then she had to figure out what the free items were that the store was giving away and deal with the technology of the till software, which wasn’t doing what she wanted.

The best thing about today was:

Playing guitar was enjoyable, though the cheap strings that I bought are making me appreciate the more expensive ones that I will buy again in the future. As I’m pretty much just bashing away, it doesn’t matter too much but even I can tell that it should sound better!

I also just finished writing a poem connected with Native American mythology and compassion. I really enjoyed composing it and testing my brain with ideas.

Something I learned today?

Psephology is the scientific study of elections. I learned this from a poem I read today! ‘Psephos’ means pebble in Greek and ‘psephomancy’ is divination by pebbles. Pebbles were used by ancient Greeks in voting.

I took this picture because I was surprised by his sudden appearance as I was working near the window this afternoon. He’s getting bigger. This evening he’s still around, having a little relax near our water tank where I gave him some chin-rubs and affection.

Another Language – 9th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 10 Comments

born indignant:
life, indeed surprised

the priest cried prophecy
I understood after I died

My first go at an erasure poem. Original text ‘The Other Language’ by Khalil Gibran. The picture is not as pretty as I would like but I do like the poem that came out of it.

Today I’m feeling:

Vague and blurred at the edges. My brain isn’t kicking into gear due to the hangover of the gummies from yesterday. I really don’t enjoy feeling like this, as I want a clear and motivated brain to inspire action within myself.

After an afternoon nap where I only managed many lucid dreams, I actually felt much better and ended up in my room playing guitar for an hour.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Mee dropping me to his house to wait as everyone else still wanted to chat more. It was 22 degrees and I was feeling cold

The best thing about today was:

A pleasant evening meal with Baew and Mee. Though I didn’t join their conversation much, I was just absorbing the nice atmosphere of the restaurant and enjoyed the fish with young mango salad. Until the air temperature got too cold anyway.

Art took this picture of me and Piti hanging out this morning.

Seeker Of The Skies – 8th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

To transcend the ordinary
And master what it means
To live – this spiritual journey
Is it all that it seems?

Rising high above the mundane
Seek a life-fulfilling
To give – and not to have to explain
A reason to be willing

Submitted to an AllPoetry contest about Jonathan Livingston Seagull – a book which I’m not familiar with (yet) and had to look up online.

Today I’m feeling:

Not too bad, though I struggled to wake up after a bit of a disrupted sleep just from my body being a little uncomfortable in whatever position I was lying.

At about 11.30 pm last night, I was just drifting off with some wild lucid dreams when a weird feeling came over me and I woke up to a slight shaking in the room and Amy gave a little yelp. A 4.2 earthquake centred somewhere in Myanmar coming to say hello. It was very strange as it disrupted that crucial time of approaching deeper sleep. I soon got back to it but, quite appropriately, I felt a little shaken.

School is a bit more subdued today, as there was a lot of rain last night that has dampened everyone’s enthusiasm for the Open House. But still the show must go on.

I enjoyed talking and playing with my students again but will probably slip off again at around midday.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Being able to come home before midday again. In many ways, and I think I’ve written this before, I don’t enjoy being at school if I’m not actually in the classroom with the students and knowing what I’m supposed to be doing.

The best thing about today was:

My interactions with students around the school again, especially with Nong Fah and Jet and their group of friends (which now often includes Anchan, too, I’m happy to say).

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I had a CBD gummy in the afternoon hoping it would inspire me to push through lethargy but ultimately my Friday feeling wouldn’t shake and I napped for an hour before heading to my room where I got fully involved in figuring out how to combine digital comics into single files to read (and subsequently didn’t spend much time playing guitar as was my original intention).

When I came back inside, I found Amy dancing away as she happily told me she had a THC gummy and was dancing as she was washing up. Suitably inspired, I had one too but it just made me lazy and led me to overthinking to the point of annoyance and we both ended up in bed by 9 pm, though I did manage to read some comics whilst struggling to remember what exactly was going on in them.

I didn’t end up doing any writing here or watching any videos that I thought I might enjoy and ultimately came to the conclusion that I don’t really enjoy the effects of THC these days. Perhaps this is connected with the dose and I can try less next time. Otherwise, I think it’s time to just switch to the more suitable effects of the CBD, which may be so subtle that it’s not even worth taking.

Pinky Shake – 7th November 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

All these pacts we make
A pinky shake decided
Forever our love
Sung to the mountains and skies
Across the valleys beyond

Whispered words that shine
Pledged to never breach or break
Future in our hands
Temptation will not lead us
Not this time, never again

Obligations shared
For us to build castle walls
Our words are at stake
We know it won’t be easy
That’s when the tough get going

We brokered this deal
To shape a nest of relief
Sometimes days are dull
For the warmth, we must maintain
A flexible foundation

Let us bend in sync
The winds of change will blow through
We’ll not break this bond
Pick you up when you stumble
Fend off discontent and pain

All these pacts we make
Pledge to never breach or break
Our words are at stake
For the warmth, we must maintain
Fend off discontent and pain

A garland tanka shared with Tanka Tuesday using synonyms for promise and comfort

Today I’m feeling:

Tired. I slept well, but only from around 1.30 am until 6 am, as before that, I first woke to pee and then later again, the food for dinner decided it needed a quick exit and my guts were complaining for a while as I sat on the toilet, suddenly almost wide awake.

I skipped exercise but did some hanging and at school, there was a great atmosphere for the first day of the Open House. I talked with many students about what they wish to do in their futures.

I went to the cafe and cleared emails and did a bit of reading, but I was starting to fade, so I didn’t do any writing.

I left at lunchtime, grabbed another coffee and came home feeling flat but happy to be able to unwind.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Rista and Praew escorting me (separately) around the Open House booths and bringing me good energy with their enthusiasm. Rista in particular wanted to show me the Sports Science Program that she will join next year and introduce me to her Kabaddi team and coach.

The best thing about today was:

The grade 9 students that I used to teach were all interested in telling me what programs or schools they wished to pursue next year. Or perhaps they were just happy not to be studying for these two days. Either way, it made me happy to see them all positive.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I was happy to drift for a catch-up nap this afternoon and the midday coffee brought some crazy dreams but I woke up kinda lethargic and unmotivated, which is one of the reasons I’m trying to avoid napping. I had hoped that, as I was home early, I would play some more guitar, but I just didn’t feel up for it in the end.

Something I learned today?

My first footballing hero, Trevor Whymark, passed away yesterday. I’m not sure why he became your hero but after watching an old game from 1976 where he scored four goals, I can imagine a nine-year-old me watching on in awe.

I took this picture because this is my old student Piano in her chef’s outfit. We’re always playful when we meet.