Tag: poetry

No Thunder – 11th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

There’s bad blood under the skin
A sickly patient wearing thin
Invisible infection, a misdirection
A poorly boy since conception

A head full of holes slowly leaking
Sanity fails whenever speaking
There’s no thunder while going under
A broken mind rent asunder

So many opinions without conclusion
Perfect health is just an illusion
Nowhere to hide from the end of the ride
Living is a glacial suicide

Written whilst sitting at the hospital for 5 hours waiting for a doctor whom I saw for less than 2 minutes

Charlie Zero The Poet Music picks & Reviews #5 and my quick thoughts:

Magdalena Bay – liked this and was surprised to see that they are playing in Australia. They seem to be popular and I’ve never heard of them (which I guess isn’t unusual these days!). The thing that puts me off their music though is that it’s just too damn nice!

Irreversible Entanglements – Again nice agit-jazz but too far into the jazz for my tastes.

Prurient – I understand the appeal. Not for me.

Omar Souleyman – I seem to be behind on his releases and this is another enjoyable album. I was disappointed when I saw him live though, it didn’t quite translate in the venue where I saw him which was part of an arts festival. Needed more sand!

Avalanche Kaito – Recommended by you before and I enjoyed the discovery.

Today I’m feeling:

Hmm…kinda ok. I feel like there are energy reserves in my body somewhere but my foggy brain can’t quite access them yet.

I’m reading a few bits of poetry and searching my resources for inspiration to write my own words but it’s not quite working.

I was coughing a fair bit through the night and last night I used a sleep tracker app to see what information it can provide.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

Amy making a big dish of pasta for me at lunchtime and putting it in the oven. Then I dropped her at Baew’s and when I got back, the ding of the oven timer went off just as I stepped inside the house.

It was delicious and fed me in the evening, and tomorrow too!

The best thing about today was:

Reading again. And writing another decent poem that I think came out well.

I took this picture because Amy is at Baew’s tonight, Cap has stolen my spot and so me and Tig are squeezed in where Amy normally sits.

Duality – 10th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 11 Comments
Image by Chris Rawlins

The dawn fog settles
Honour-bound, two figures stand
Their fates soon revealed
Both fell in thunderous fire
Bittersweet, the lady faints

A tanka for Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Bittersweet

Today I’m feeling:

Ok but I can’t talk properly. I feel like I have a mild cold but not that bad really. A little fuzzy in the head.

I got up at around 7 am and sent messages to school and work to my students to do in my absence. I went back to bed at around 8 and ended up with some nice, extra enjoyable sleep.

I got up for lunch, took some medicine and now out for my first and only coffee for the day. I may sleep more yet!

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

More medicine from the local pharmacy and when I arrived there, the pharmacist was petting a street seller’s really cute dog, so of course I had to spend a minute petting too.

The best thing about today was:

Reading, lots of reading!

Something I learned today?

I hit up Kru John about the possible change of director at school but all he knew was that it’s the sub-director who will change.

Garbage In – 9th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

You are your own curator
What does your archive say?
Your most valued selections
Will predict the game you play

May I copy to my scroll
That to which you adhere?
My library is starting bare
And I need a new idea

Cross-reference the index
Let’s build up our research
Combine all our best thoughts
And share for all to search

You are your own curator
Garbage in makes garbage out
Information overload
Fills everything with doubt

Inspired by a David Elikwu newsletter
18th Apr 2025 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United – this poem is tangentially connected with the theme of ‘youth has no age’.

Today I’m feeling:

Good except my croaky sore throat. My body feels great otherwise after playing volleyball yesterday. I skipped exercise this morning, though.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The lady selling candy outside school. She has some weird and unusual candy selections and I can throw a few down for a little sugar bump at the end of the day before driving home.

The best thing about today was:

Talking with Poppy as she wants to apply to go to Japan with the school and she was very excited about it. She told me that she wants to talk with me every day to improve her English to prepare for the interview.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Today we were asked to attend a meeting at 4 pm and then five minutes before it started, we were told that it might last for two hours!

Thankfully, it was less than an hour, no idea what any of it was about but I spent the whole time studying Thai, so at least it wasn’t wasted.

Also, by the end of the day, I had almost lost my voice, so I decided that it is probably best not to go to school tomorrow but to go back to see the ENT specialist in the city again.

Something I learned today?

Some students were telling me that they were worried about the school because we will get a new director soon. First I’ve heard about it!

Ang Pao took this picture because yesterday I discovered that she had a pierced tongue and this morning she wanted to post this picture of us online.

Distraction – 8th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

The media golden penny
Shared and liked by millions
More poisoned than many
And governed by reptilians!

The rabbit’s path is lit
To keep you keen and focus
Enjoying the wade-through shit
Until the shepherd woke us

When the golden penny dropped
Baring the true face of the media
That’s when the distraction stopped
To build your own encyclopedia

The following is a letter from January 8th, 2024, delivered today from the past

Dear FutureMe,

It’s now 30 years since leaving the UK. Now it seems like it doesn’t make much difference. After ten years it was still quite a novelty and being in Australia was still filled with wild emotions. But since then it felt like the UK was no longer something I understood or was a part of.

Though I count Thailand as my home now it is still a little tenuous to stay here and if I leave here in the future it definitely won’t be back to the UK but most likely Australia (unless Amy and I end up somewhere else).

You didn’t write much about this at the time but Amy and her family are going through a typical Thai-style drama at the moment and I wonder if it is all settled by the time of receiving this letter.

Amy’s man-child useless brother and his girlfriend are due to get married. Whilst that should be a cause for celebration we can see that this is not anything to do with love but purely circumstance. When quizzed on his reasons for marriage her brother purely said it was because he was getting old. He said this in front of his bride-to-be.

And so why has she agreed to this?

Part of the condition of marriage is that Amy’s mum will pay off their debts with her newly acquired money from selling her apartments. She will also have to pay a dowry to the bride’s family. So the bride and her family do get some benefit from this arrangement. And what the future might bring for them, who knows?

She now lives in Chiang Rai whilst he is in Bangkok. They don’t talk about anything they are doing and they have no plans for the future. Everything looks like it is just a short-term plan to get out of debt.

Amy’s brother contributes nothing to their family and is selfish beyond belief except for his one or two friends who he treats to food and drink every time they meet. Essentially, he is buying their friendship. His mum and dad treat him like a prince, forgiving him for any wrong he commits.

He’s drunk every day and can’t even piss in the bowl. If he comes to our house again I will instruct him to go piss in the garden.

Amy is obviously upset at the treatment he receives in comparison to the way she is expected to behave. It is a stereotypical patriarchal behaviour that is perpetuated by her parents but not something Amy will stand for. But she also has to bide her time and play the game, so to speak, to make sure that she gets her fair share of inheritance in the future. Otherwise, he is likely to receive everything and even so, he might already end up pissing away the inheritance money before they even expire. We’ve seen it happen in other aunties’ families.

It surely is a frustrating situation though it doesn’t impact me directly at this stage. I just have to be supportive of Amy and listen to her troubles when she needs me.

It’s the start of another year and I’m not much into resolutions or planning for the year, just taking it as it comes. I’m still very happy with my place in the world on an individual basis and hope it can stay that way for the foreseeable future.

I hope this letter finds me still happy and content and maybe even a little wiser.
Take it easy
PastMe

Today I’m feeling:

A little better than last night, after a long sleep. I don’t think I even made it to 10pm.

The medicine I took seems to be helping my sore throat but it could also just be transforming into a runny nose and cough. I’ll try to stay positive and maybe that will fight off the viral demons.

I woke up during the night to pee and then took a while to get back to sleep as I was thinking about teaching verb tenses in class. Far out, brain! Calm yourself down!

At school, there was the opening ceremony for the Lead Youth Conference and there was a lot of messages flying around because the room wasn’t full and so even though I wasn’t invited I was told to rush upstairs to help fill the seats.

George and Kru Tang were the announcers and this role is perfect for George as it requires sounding sincere when it isn’t! He’s an expert at this. Job well done!

It did make me think about times when I was working in a corporate environment and we had big dos like this. Then, as I was younger, I just found it all boring. Now it’s still boring but fascinating in its facade.

Around midday, I was talking with David about nothing in particular when George walked around the corner on his way out. He gave a big smile to David and started a banal conversation, so as I was standing there, I looked George straight in the face but he wouldn’t give me any eye contact. He soon left, without a word to me.

This started off a conversation with David, where I finally told him all about what had happened between George and me in the past and he was pretty shocked.

David also told me about some behaviours that he noticed himself with George and that, knowing what I told him, confirmed his suspicions about his character.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

The spare couple of hours at the end of the school day, which I used to fill up the car and buy some cheese at Makro before going back to sign out, though I ended up chatting with students past the sign-out time!

The best thing about today was:

Playing volleyball with the ‘naughty’ girls (Fah, Nicha, Namking, Tonaor) when I had an hour break between classes and wasn’t sure what to do during that time.

As we were playing, other students came and joined in, including some of the Japanese boys who are here for the conference.

I was surprised at myself at how good I felt when playing, after feeling less than stellar yesterday. My body is still feeling good about itself now that is evening.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Due to the conference this morning, most of my grade 12 class were absent. I knew this would happen and thought that I would just interview whoever was there about the topic that we are working on (sport).

At the class start time, there were no students at all and I stood chatting with David whilst waiting. Eventually, two students arrived so I thought perhaps more would come but the only others to come arrived about 15 minutes later and only came to the class room as they had nowhere else to go!

I told them it’s fine and that now that they were here, we could study. They all cried, ‘No – free time’, I said that if they stepped in the classroom, then we would have to study. Again, they cried ‘No’ and I laughed.

I think that in the end only 9 of the 46 students came and chilled in the classroom and I decided chatting with David was more interesting (as described above) and then some of the M3 students came to talk with us for about 20 minutes and by the end of all that the class time was finished anyway.

Chill, chill.

Something I learned today?

A boy in Baipad’s class was killed in a car crash two days ago. She told me that she had talked with him earlier that day. I think it made her feel numb as she didn’t really know what to say.

This morning, we talked about it a little bit and I asked her what she would say if it had happened to one of her friends sitting there with us. I told her that she had to prepare herself for this. She lost her father a few years ago, both her cats last year and now a classmate. It never stops!

Gitchi Odjig – 7th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments
Listening (Homage to Grandfather series) by Daphne Odjig

My heart still speaks kindness 
after everything my eyes have witnessed,
 echo this compassion to your generation.

Your blood is in my blood, 
this same blood lived in the rivers of your ancestors’ hearts.
“Grandson remain strong, this life is just a dream.”

Gianni Crow

Grandfather, I will try,
yet I can’t help wanting to wake up from this dream,
my angry blood washing the coasts.

Shall I pull a kindness spirit from my skin,
to kindle a flame for our family to share,
after everything my eyes have witnessed?

Grandfather guide me,
with the compassion shared through our generations,
the pull of the river drags at my feet.

Shall I sheaf the knife of revenge,
the blood spilt, a burden for my own family,
to break this cycle that is second nature?

Grandfather, with great strength
I have listened to the tales too terrible and whispered
around the fire of too many ghosts.

Shall I calm the fires of desire,
douse the light, whilst holding on to the flames of culture,
to consider these words for my children?

Grandfather, now I understand the dream
as I beheld the eyes of my grandchildren, newborn at night
and the eyes of the celestials looked back

I shall commune with The Great Fisher
when summer is born again and pass on your compassion
“Grandson remain strong, this life is just a dream.”

I’m mixing Native American ideas in this poem, and I probably show a lack of understanding of different myths and stories. I was initially pulled in by the quoted lines of Gianni Crow.

Then, looking through different myths, I found the story of the titular Great Fisher – Gotchi Odjig and then, looking for related art to accompany this piece, discovered Daphne Odjig’s fascinating work. The attached piece is suitably titled ‘Listening (Homage to Grandfather series)’. Daphne Odjig’s prints are available here at the Bearclaw Gallery.

17th Jan 2025 – Shared with dVerse OLN #376

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty healthy after a cold morning exercise of the legs. I feel a little bit of a sore throat, though and hope I don’t catch whatever Amy has had, which she is still coughing from.

(Later) Maybe I spoke too soon, as my throat is feeling worse and I’m a little dizzy again. I left school early as none of my students showed up in the afternoon and I got some medicine.

The angry driver from yesterday posted a story online and also contacted mum, as the car is registered in her name. I’m not sure what they want?

(Later) We checked the dashcam at Dad’s and though everyone was tense when they watched the video, they couldn’t believe what they were seeing. Just a crazy driver trying to make me crash.

Not sure what will happen next. Either way, I’ll take everyone’s advice to drive more carefully because there are some crazy hillbillies out there.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Nene who carried my jacket around for three hours after I left it in class and rushed off to the dentist. I gave her some candy in thanks.

The best thing about today was:

Banoffee at 22 Grams, along with their awesome coffee. The banoffee had the right balance of flavours.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My second class was suddenly cancelled and I didn’t want to hang around until 4.30 just to sign out. I took it as a message that I should go home early.

Something I learned today?

I need to be more careful when checking the AI work that gives me quizzes for the students. The class today were not capable of the level of some of the questions. I need to check them more accurately before class starts.

Just like I tell the kids that it’s ok to use AI but that you have to understand what it is telling you.

Vestige – 6th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Moulded out of mud, multiplied in mirrors
A simple rain may wash away our facades

Shared with Reena’s Xploration Challenge #361 – taking this couplet from Mirza Ghalib as inspiration

Whose crafty creation am I; the image implores –
Every image stands enrobed – but in paper robes

You can read more about it here.
Image courtesy of Web Urbanist highlighting Rob Mulholland‘s art installation Vestige.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good today which is kinda annoying. I wanted to feel this good during the holiday. Perhaps there’s some connection?

I skipped exercise this morning, easing myself back into the early starts. I’ll get up a little earlier tomorrow and get back to it. It was damn cold (and dark) this morning when I woke up.

It’s good to be back at school and around the kids again. They were all happy to be catching up with their friends.

Health:

Physical: 7 Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

The two bananas that I took to school with me and ate before classes started. I bought some rice crackers later too and that was enough to keep my going through my busy Monday.

The best thing about today was:

The classes that I was a little worried about teaching today went well and students were in a surprisingly receptive mood.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another driver tried to run me off the road on the way home and I didn’t react well to it. Luckily there was no accident. They guy was hanging out of his window and looked a little amped up on meth!

I need to chill out too. It’s annoying to have to wait until the end of the day to leave because there is so much more traffic on the road at that time.

Something I learned today?

Ipswich drew 2-2 with Fulham and looked the better team for most of the game from the highlights that I saw. Not very important stuff in the big scheme of things though!

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I let George wind me up again as I see him barely bothering to teach as he cut short his first class so that he could finish his grading files and then left his second class alone with no work whilst he was off doing something else for the school.

I know that I shouldn’t let it bother me….argh!

I chatted with Mike a little this afternoon. He will move from Primary to Mathayom next semester and he’s already looking forward to the relative freedom that this offers him. I advised him to not get too relaxed and to make sure that he is in class on time and teaches for the whole duration as much as possible.

A Long Hike – 5th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Take a long hike in nature
Turn your back on the chattering
Sit quietly amongst the ferns
Elevated above the clattering

A few miles above Tintern
In commune with Wordsworth
With our fellow romantics
Witnessing a rebirth

At the camping ground
Pack your boots and fleeces
Phone charged, and caffeinated
Collect all your bits and pieces

Shared amongst the absurd crowds
Authentic insight waits
Snapped up for memories
The hivemind contemplates

Inspired and paraphrased from the second part of Authenticity & Absurdity at Philosophy Now.
Where to go when everyone has run to the same place to relax?

Today I’m feeling:

Tired after being a little restless last night and Tigger wanting to be fed at 7 am.

I came out for coffee and decided to only have one cup today, to see if that helps me sleep better tonight.

I’m ploughing through my grading files this morning and I also have to figure out what lessons I will teach this coming week. Apart from that, I don’t have much else planned. More reading, more guitar.

Oh, and writing some interview questions for Barber Dead and Speech Odd.

(Later) I never got to writing any questions out yet but have been thinking about what to ask.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Having an appetite again, though my guts still seem to be adjusting a little bit. I feel like eating and eating!

The best thing about today was:

Getting all my grading completed today. Actually, it is only half completed because that is all that has been asked at this stage. Over the next couple of weeks, I will probably finish it all off as I don’t think there will be many changes in the outcomes for the students in the meantime.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I got a missed call today and assumed it was from the optometrist, so I went there in the afternoon. The lady said that she had called to tell me that my glasses would arrive tomorrow and that was all that she was calling to tell me. No harm done, it’s less than five minutes ride from my house.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I took a small sketchbook to Baipad that I bought up in Doi Tung as it had a cartoon picture of Lahu and Akha people on it. She gave it to Namhom as she doesn’t have her own little book like this.

They were home alone but talking with their mum on a video call. I asked where her mum was and they didn’t know! I said, what if something happened and she didn’t come back and the police come and ask where she went and all you can say is ‘I don’t know!’

So we all found out that she is in Bangkok at the same time!

Image Distorts – 4th January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 3 Comments

Life as a painting
On this one-way street
‘Tween the real and fake
An authentic cheat

Ambiguous choice
Presented as truth
Will self-fulfilling
Prophecy produce

Compulsive searching
A society
Estranged itself from
It’s reality

Representation
Has replaced the real
A simulation
An authentic steal

Inspired and paraphrased from the first part of Authenticity & Absurdity at Philosophy Now

Today I’m feeling:

A little better than yesterday, though whatever is working its way through my guts is bothering my lower end now and I’m hoping that once it is out, I’m back to normal. A return of energy would be welcome too.

(Later) I ate a little lunch and wasn’t quite sure how my stomach was feeling about it but soon forgot about it and did some reading and then went to my room to play guitar whilst Hangie, Takky and Amy enjoyed plenty of wine and grilled foods.

By the time I came back in, though I thought that I was just hungry and so ate some yoghurt and muesli but that didn’t help and I started feeling nauseous again.

I thought I’d just go to bed and so I hopped into the shower when Amy said that she wanted more wine. Ok, that’s fine, we can stop somewhere and get some medicine on the way.

I’m now in bed, hoping that there’s no sudden rush to throw up and Amy is drinking and dancing whilst cleaning up after the 6-hour lunch.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

P’Da and her medicine shop. Khawtang was there too and told me that she had her exam for grade 10 today and that she thought that she did well. They both seemed really happy in general, which was good to see after all the drama that they’ve been through.

The best thing about today was:

Reading a few pages of the Suspect Device book and feeling inspired by it and asking Tony if he’d be interested in some interviews with Thai bands, which he was. So I got the ball rolling with that, sending messages out to Barber Dead and Speech Odd.

I took this picture as Piti was enjoying the sunshine streaming in the window.

Looking At Stuff – 3rd January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I didn’t see it until I took a look
There was no answer within this book
A revolution waiting with a solution
Let’s write it down so there’s no confusion!

Inspired by Existential Comics #572

Today I’m feeling:

A little tired and hungry but my mood is ok. Last night I threw up, perhaps from too much soda or maybe a little food poisoning, I’m not sure. I felt better as soon as I got it out, though I was a little drained.

I woke up during the night too. I guess that third coffee was really telling me not to be attempted again. My mind was racing between grading students and wishing that I could have grown up in San Diego so that I could have seen Trumans Water playing more often. Weird.

My lack of digested food saw me wake up to be under 80kg this morning for the first time in a while. My energy levels are dictating that I should eat more, though. I’m only half looking forward to early morning exercise again next week.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Nut bringing me breadsticks this morning just as my stomach was starting to feel bad again and we were due to go out. Munching on them helped a little bit, along with a bit of a walk and some cool mountain air.

The best thing about today was:

Walking around up at Doi Tung markets was nice despite my dodgy tummy, meaning I couldn’t enjoy much of the food and drink there.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

As we went in Nut and Bruno’s car, I was relinquished of driving duties but also at first I was feeling queasy in the back and then later, in the front, I had to endure Bruno’s speed racing and complaining about slow traffic. I guess my dodgy guts helped take my mind off that a little.

Amy told me that we will never go on holiday with them anywhere, as Bruno is always so hyped up and on the move. It makes it difficult to just relax and enjoy the moment. He operates on a different level than most of us.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I swapped the mattresses in our bedrooms for Amy as she seems to sleep better on this one. Damn, though, our original mattresses are heavy and it took a lot out of me to move them.

Up until then, I wasn’t feeling too bad but then my body was looking to replace the used-up energy and found nothing there.

I took this picture at Doi Tung and sent it to Baipad, who is half Lahu. All the hill tribes are represented here, but it feels a little contrived.

This Is Awkward – 2nd January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Spending so long seeking the solution
The geniuses all come and go
Is the quest for knowledge just an illusion
When the answers’ children already know?

Inspired by Existential Comics #570

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again but still with a little dizziness. I got up at 6.30 am to get to the hospital by 7 and proceeded with my health checks, blood, poop and pee etc.

All reports were good except for something a little higher than normal connected with perhaps too much sugar/carb intake and they suggested a follow-up in three months.

I also booked a prostate exam and have a physio appointment later this month for my shoulder.

After that, I went off to immigration for my 90-day check, ate some lunch at Oasis, paid off my debt at Utopia and was back home by midday.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

All the hospital staff who helped me again and the nurses who hooked me up the EKG and were laughing at some private joke, possibly/probably, at my expense.

The best thing about today was:

Feeling like I was getting things done and there being lots of time.

Something I learned today?

My general health seems to be pretty good. Whilst it doesn’t explain all the aches, pains and dizziness I experience, at least they don’t point to anything serious.