Tag: poetry

Lesson In Peace – 24th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

The art of war is a lesson in peace
The politics of life to make the violence cease
The finest swords will all eventually rust
To build a legion is to gain their trust

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and positive though I have a nagging tiredness throughout my body.  This could possibly be from pushing myself too much with exercise but the benefits of it outweigh this.  Some of the things going on in the family are getting me down a little.  This is connected with cultural differences but it’s hard not to judge a situation when something is so clearly unfair.  No details to share here as yet.  Perhaps if and when the situation resolves or is in the past.

Today I’m grateful for:

Finding the candy lady outside of school.  Miyor and KhaoFang were walking around the park after classes and I bumped into them and they offered me a bag of candy of a type that I’d never seen before.  I took one and it was tasty so I asked where they got them and they pointed to one of the stalls so I went to investigate and there was a cornucopia there!  It was also a pick and mix so I picked out a couple of each to try the range.  I didn’t eat any yet – I’m saving them for the weekend. 

I was laughing to myself today about it because it feels just like when I was at school as a teenager.  I always skipped lunch, saving my money to buy records instead.  Then I would scrounge pennies off friends and buy candy from the van that pulled up in the playground every lunchtime.

The best thing about today was:

Getting my work permit so quickly sorted that I had time to grab another coffee before my class started.  I guess it doesn’t take long when you’re handing over 6,000 baht.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

After making copies of my work permit I headed over to the office.  It was only while I was there that I discovered that I have to fill out the visa application and pay another 2,000 baht for the visa when I take it to immigration next week.  I thought that whole process was already done when I was at immigration at the end of last year but it seems that I was just on a bridging visa.  Amy was not impressed to hear this, especially as I don’t even have 2,000 baht left this month.

Something I learned today?

This evening I found out that the 6,000 baht will get refunded next month.  Woohoo!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sat and helped a couple of students again, taking the time to work with them and encourage them.

Every morning now, when I arrive at school, I join Baipad, Jan and Apple and talk with them for a few minutes.  Sometimes it’s a struggle to get them to look away from their phones but slowly they are opening up and chatting a little bit.  I can especially feel that Apple is more relaxed now to speak English.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO – 4. Don’t Start A Relationship If You’re Not in Love. I’ve done this more than once. You kind of like someone and think: “We might as well give it a shot.” Not a good idea. You’re either in love, or you are not. Don’t fool yourself. It’s not fair to you and the other person.

The difficulty with this is when growing up and learning about love.  Our societies don’t emotionally prepare us as children for the consequences of love.  It’s quite noticeable here in Chiang Rai, Thailand that a fair percentage of teenagers are not so much into the idea of romantic relationships yet.  They might have urges and desires but many are still learning about how to make good friendships amongst themselves.  I used to think that this was somewhat of a downside to the kid’s development and that they were growing up too slowly but now I see it as a benefit.  In the West we are not aware of all the privileges that we have just by circumstance, to be able to grow up so quickly, whether mature or not.

In my own experience, I thought I was in love many times as a teenager but I was just in love with the idea of love, without knowing what it really was.  My first relationships were rough on my partners as I had no clue how to treat them, having been told through society that chocolates and flowers could fix anything.  It wasn’t until my mid-20s, meeting Bronwyn that I first felt what I consider to be true love.  And then even that was not enough to keep us together.

It’s way too easy to say ‘Don’t fool yourself.’  We fool ourselves all the time without knowing.  We do have to go through the process – love, lose and learn.  Not many people get things right the first time.

Now I try to teach my students to guard themselves somewhat, to protect themselves from the huge emotional twists and turns of young love.  When they break up, to encourage them not to dwell on something that wasn’t meant to be.  To stop feeling like it is the end of the world.  But I know, it feels just like that and words are sometimes little comfort.

I took this picture because this is an unusual sight, to find both our cats sitting on the same mat like this.

Two Whispers – 23rd January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 4 Comments

Where the light turned to dust
Silence remains
When two became none

Where the light became air
Extinguished flames
Await the rising sun

Where the light turns to the sky
Who prays
And in their solitude sit?

Where the light falls west
Who stays
To watch the candles lit?

Submitted to #WDYS

Today I’m feeling:

Good and positive again. I can feel that I have a better attitude and more energy in the days that I exercise in the morning and that I should also force myself to do this on weekends and holidays as I often just fall into laziness then.

Today I’m grateful for:

The little female (age indefinable) petrol pump assistant who double-checked what I wanted and then, after filling the car,  gave me two bottles of water. She tried to explain about the water but I didn’t understand. I just assumed that they were free!

The best thing about today was:

Taking time with a couple of my troublesome students this afternoon and helping them get a better idea of a grammar point. I felt relief and joy when they started getting the answers right by themselves. I even managed to get a smile out of one of them.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My first class today with grade 8s was a little wearisome. Some days it feels like they just insist on not learning. I stayed relatively calm but inside I feel a little tired and deflated from it.

Something I learned today?

The single most expensive item for the British in the American Civil War was rum.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

We went to the temple again for some follow-up Buddhist things for Grandmum. I did as was directed though wasn’t sure about any of what was happening. In the end, we served monks food and everyone (except me) at lunch too.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
3. Spend Time with People You Love. That’s your family and best friends. If you don’t have a family, create one. Most people in life are only visitors. Family is for life.

My tribe is my family these days. I’m not particularly close to anyone except for Amy and I’m fine with that. If I ever need to make new relationships they will come naturally from within my tribe. 

The internet definitely has made things easier to stay in contact with my tribe, who are scattered all around the world.

Whilst the ease of communication keeps us together, our tribe survives apart.

No Art – 22nd January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 14 Comments

We put down our brushes
In search of gold stars
Our stick figures meaningless
If we can’t get a pass

Our caves are now bare
Or full of the perceived good
Those words we told ourselves
Have taken away our ‘could’

No teacher or priest were we
But everyone laughed
Still, we lighted a spark
And cultivated our craft

Inspired by a newsletter snippet titled ‘Why you stopped making art’ from David Elikwu. Added to dVerse here.

Today I’m feeling:

A little more awake and active than yesterday.  Feeling fairly positive but also a little anxious as if something might come along to get me down.  On the edge.

Today I’m grateful for:

All the different options available for muesli to buy.  I was disappointed to not find my favourite crunchy strawberry muesli today but at least there were lots of different options available, though somewhat more pricey.  I took a mid-range option but contemplated some of the others for when I’m back in the black.

The best thing about today was:

Being able to take the foot off the gas a little with my classes today and stretch out the work so that they had more time to contemplate, share with each other and understand in their own time.  Sometimes I expect and push too much so I wanted to make life a little easier for us all.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I made a trip to Makro because I ran out of yoghurt this morning but was disappointed to find they were out of stock.  I had to buy a different brand to last for a few days before going back to check again.  I sure hope they continue stocking it because it’s the best!

Something I learned today?

This journalling app is trolling me.  It’s been 22 days of prompts so far of ‘What is something something something this year?’  Just because the calendar starts on the first of January a year is still a year from NOW, whatever the date.  Why do I have to spend a month thinking about 2024?  I’m always thinking about the future.  I guess journal prompts do get repetitive anyway but I find this one particularly annoying.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave Noah some extra support and encouragement for her negative attitude towards Teacher David.  She needs to stay respectful and at least learn from her experiences even if she’s not learning English.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
2. Don’t Complain. Complaining is the biggest waste of time there is. Either do something about it, and if you can’t, shut up about it.

This is something I have gotten better at over the years.  Being English it’s an extremely hard habit to break.  Moving to Australia in 1994 certainly helped as Aussies generally don’t put up with the stereotypical whinging poms.  I don’t remember ever being called out on it but I think their positivity rubbed off on me in general and the fact that there was certainly less to complain about in life in Australia, or at least it certainly seemed that way.

When I meet English people now though I find their complaining quite noticeable and can also fall right back into it myself.  It’s like a common bond we share.  Because I’m conscious of it though I do try to stop myself and counter any complaining with a positive view in response.

Yes, life is not all chocolates and roses but there’s no need to go on about it.  In fact, there’s no need to say anything.  Even if you are still thinking it, just keep your mouth shut.

I took this picture because I love to see freshly planted rice paddies like this. This is from Saturday – no new pictures today.

Leashed – 21st January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Obedient to a master
Every day I’m called good
Is it a lie, a deception?
How am I to be, how I should?
Dance and beg for treats
But I got to the eats

I will not strike out
I will not forge my own way
Rolling over or playing dead
I will stay
All this time doing well
Makes no reason to rebel

inspired by this cartoon at Existential Comics

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good though it was a struggle to get up as I had enjoyed a couple of drops of cannabutter last night that knocked me right out.

Today I’m grateful for:

Go Nuts chocolate bars.  They are kinda like Snickers but cheaper as they are manufactured in Thailand (I guess).  They are smaller than a Snickers bar so I usually end up eating two at a time but even then they are cheaper.  I still like a little something sweet after a meal, kinda just finishes it off for me.

The best thing about today was:

Spending a couple of hours in my room listening to new music and finding new songs to try and play on guitar.  I also enjoyed being in the garden watering all our plants.

Something I learned today?

I saw a message posted to our department messaging group that there is something going on in the morning tomorrow which maybe means a change to our classes.  I’m hoping to arrive at school tomorrow to find out my class is cancelled! It’s no big deal if it’s not but a bonus if it is!

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I shampooed Tigger again just before lunch and he put up a little more of a fight this time but I managed to get it done without any scratches, thankfully.

As mentioned above, I watered the garden whilst Amy was enjoying watching a TV show and after that, I came in and fed the cats.

25 THINGS ABOUT LIFE I WISH I HAD KNOWN 10 YEARS AGO
1. Struggle Is Good. Never say “I can’t take it anymore.” Say “Bring it on!”

This has taken me a long while to realise and embrace, although looking back I can see that I did this often. 

I have a capability to endure certain things that others might not. Conversely, I’m sure others are capable of enduring things I cannot. It is the attitude towards this struggle that I embrace more now so that I might look forward to the difficult tasks. 

I tend to visualise and actualise the feeling of having completed something and being able to relax, satisfied that I had done something.

When I was a teenager, so long as it was something I was interested in, I could start big, wild projects that could occupy my time and mind. These things didn’t feel like a struggle. Without realizing it I soon discovered that it wasn’t always the satisfaction of finishing something that made me feel good but just the doing of it. Over time this meant that I could take on tasks that were less interesting to me because I would just enjoy the doing, the struggle of them.

When I ask my students to write out a few paragraphs of text I enjoy taking note of those who complain and those who just get on and do it. This reveals a lot about their attitude.

These days, having a space that I love to rest my head at night, I can rationalise all discomfort at uninteresting tasks knowing that when the sun goes down I have a place where I can relax and do the things that are interesting to me.

Whilst I would rarely say ‘Bring it on’ I am no longer afraid of the challenges that confront me.

I took this picture because this tree’s red flowers turn brown before splitting open and revealing their seeds. This is the first time I’ve actually noticed the seeds inside.

I Can’t Feel My Wings – 20th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

I lay down and try to breathe
Because I can’t feel my wings
Why did I wake up this way?
Am I paying for my sins?
What’s the cost to going mad?
I’m hollowed out inside
I want this curse lifted off me
I want my wings, I want to fly
It’s been a long time
Being, a long time

Inspired and words re-arranged from this post by Tomic Riter

Today I’m feeling:

Quite relaxed and happy.  I was excited to go for a little bike ride, my psyche somehow understanding that I needed to be out in nature, getting some Vitamin D and picking up the green light reflections of the fields and jungle.

Today I’m grateful for:

My old student Praewa.  A couple of weeks ago she posted a picture from outside her house and I recognised it as a place not that far from where I live.  As I had planned for a bike ride this morning I figured I would head out in that direction towards the river, east from home, and drop in and say hello on the way.

When I messaged her though she said she wasn’t home but to come and find her where she was.  She sent me a map and it wasn’t far away from where I was heading anyway so I figured why not.

I found out that they have a grocery shop at their house and there was some kind of fun sporting event for kids going on and Praewa’s mum had set up a stall to sell refreshments.

When I got there I finally found them and it seemed like the whole family was there – mum, brother, auntie, grandmum and great grandmum!  I declined the offer of a beer, it was still before noon, though that didn’t stop Praewa’s mum from starting already!

I had a look around and in another stall, two students yelled out my name.  I don’t teach them but I recognised them from saying hello around school.  Then I spotted another student I know who was partaking in the event on the track.  She is always friendly when I see her but usually not excited or showing too much emotion but today she was laughing a lot as the race they were doing was a team event where the first in line had to pull on a big pair of baggy knickers over their clothes, run up the track and back and then swap the knickers with the next in line.

Her team won and they were happy.  When I went to say hello she was very surprised to see me there.  I congratulated her team.

The next thing I knew, Momo was walking past with some snacks.  I caught up with her and met her mum.  I asked Momo why she wasn’t competing and she said she didn’t want to be there but her mum forced her to come.

Finally, Cream came and joined Praewa and they took off to the bouncy castle slide.  They are still 14 or 15 years old but I don’t think either of them is even 5ft tall so they can still get away with playing on such things.  I bid everyone farewell and thankfully my bike started ok and I rode off around the place feeling happy to see what some of my students get up to outside of school and grateful that Praewa invited me to come.

The best thing about today was:

Riding to newer parts of the valley with a deep blue sky directly overhead (not so much on the horizons) and waterlogged paddies reflecting that, dotted with bright young green rice stems.  I took a moment to savour it all.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I planned for a bike ride this morning after coffee but the bike isn’t starting. I’m sitting here in the sun for a minute hoping that it will warm up the bike and that it might magically start. Otherwise, it means wheeling it to the shop which is manageable but not what I’d planned for. Any costs to fix it are going to be painful too.

Thankfully, I finally managed to kickstart it and let it run for ten minutes before heading out.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I reminded myself to message Ploy to ask how she did on her test today.  She said she felt confident which I’m glad about.

I took this picture because this young corn was so green. I’ve enjoyed running through cornfields, back in England, during the summer there, alongside the river Stour. It felt like a strange freedom, hidden from view in a minor trespass. 

The Empty Room – 19th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

This space buzzed by mosquitoes
A history was being carved out
Dusty messes swept into the corners
Where cockroaches nested, no doubt

Now an empty room remains
A hunger within this home
The incense lights the way
So we don’t have to be alone

Ghosts are only seen by some
A chilly feeling in prickly air
Once a room full of new stories
Is left in stasis with nothing there

Grandmum’s empty room

Today I’m feeling:

Still a little tired though I slept quite a lot. Not going to push my classes today and going to take it easy myself too.

Today I’m grateful for:

A surprise lunch date with the family at the seafood restaurant Amy and I tried last Sunday. At first I felt a little annoyed as I had wanted to stay at House to read and write after going to apply for the work permit after my first class. That quickly faded though as I’ve grown much more accustomed to sudden changes of plans. The food was also great, which certainly helped too!

The best thing about today was:

Sitting with groups of three students at a time and working on a grammar rule with them. I can usually get a good response out of small groups when there’s an opportunity to do so and we all could laugh and learn together.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I went to get my work permit and in the process they asked if I want it for two years to which I thought ‘sure!’ It was only then I wondered how much it would cost and I found out it will be 6000 baht which is all the money I have left this month!

Something I learned today?

As we’ve been busy for this last week I haven’t really asked Amy about much of what the latest news is or about all the stuff at the temple. With a couple of wines under her belt she talked for a long while about different people that attended the funeral, all of the costs and stresses for the family and what little she knew about the Buddhist rituals and rules.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent supportive messages to three of my students who struggled with situations today.

Nicha took this picture because she snatched my phone out of my pocket whilst I was distracted with another student. I’m quite happy for some students to do this because I can look forward to a surprise batch of photos to check later. Obviously in this shot I had caught up with her to get my phone back.

When Old Friends Visit – 18th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Thanks for the visit last night
Was there a reason to come?
I wasn’t really doing anything
Perhaps that’s why you came along

And why were you the way you were?
Not quite happy it seemed
We still couldn’t even share a joke
Even in a meeting dreamed

I had to leave quickly
I felt like you were perturbed
I closed the door behind me
And woke up quite disturbed

Typing this one out has given me deja vu. I feel like I may have written something similar about another dream I had. This one though was about the anxiety of meeting an old friend after tens of years and left on bad terms. In this real dream, I had last night, the meeting did not go well

Today I’m feeling:

Tired from a 5.30 am start to start the last day of Grandmum’s funeral. It occurs to me that this (kinda) solemn occasion is a huge stress on the family. There are so many ‘rules’ and traditions that should be followed, to do it the ‘right’ way, that it’s impossible to be perfect.

By the time we got to the crematorium, stress levels were up and it almost felt like forgetting why I was there. That was soon remedied though when the coffin was opened for the family to pour coconut water over the face and body. I turned to see Amy crying and it tore at me as I teared up too as she poured over some water and said goodbye and then I was full of grief again.

At this point though, all the ceremony of the last few days made more sense in my mind.

Today I’m grateful for:

The family again for including me as part of them and not minding too much when I did not know what to do in these circumstances.

The best thing about today was:

The best thing about today will be crawling back into bed and enjoying sleep. Things get back to normal tomorrow but I can’t wait for the weekend already. 

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Sadly I lost my streak on my Thai study app as I’ve been too busy running around this week. I’ll not beat myself up about it because it doesn’t change the things I’ve learned already. I’m trying to make the learning a little more difficult again to push myself. I’ll get back to it.

The scheduled quiz I set for my class to do this morning didn’t work, which was a little frustrating. Thankfully there was some free time at the ceremony where I could set it up again

Something I learned today?

Assigning work to a class always teaches me who can be responsible for themselves and who will just take advantage. 

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

Today I was Amy’s little worker and I obediently did what I was told without complaint, even when we did things that seemed odd to me. In the morning I carried a tray of food to another building where we sat for a few minutes and then walked back to where we started. That tray was heavy after a while but I didn’t complain.

Either we went to that place by mistake or there was something about the food being in that space for a few minutes that gave it some kind of blessing that I’m not privy to. There is a lot of symbolism going on that I don’t understand and would scoff at if I did.

I took this picture because this cutie decided to take a rest at the bottom of the temple stairs.

The Retreat – 17th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Shacked up with a slacker
Who said our gold was in the hills
A guitar strapped to his back
To sing of other people’s thrills

The words are spat with bitterness
The war is raging in his head
But anger without direction
Is replaced by apathy instead

The party starts at home
With our disaffected friends
With the battle in our songs
Forgotten when it ends

Stirred into one final action
When the pipe of peace got broke
Understanding that our pain
Is only countered by the smoke

So it was, we came and went
We conquered nothing at all
We disappeared without a trace
Into the bottom of the bowl

Nearer heaven we rested heads
Too tired to take our chance
Extinguished, all those little fires
Where we no longer dance

inspired by ‘The Slacker’ in Zachary Mexico’s book China Underground

Today I’m feeling:

A little better again though still not quite right in the sinuses. Exercise got me going and I felt in a good mood for the whole day.

Today I’m grateful for:

The vegetarian food from Oasis and dessert snacks from the snack shop. Hopefully, there are snack boxes left over again tonight.

The best thing about today was:

Teaching my grade 10 class again. It’s a good feeling to have more mature students who try and want to understand more.

It did get me feeling a little like asking to spread out the classes between the foreign teachers so that not all the juniors are dumped on me and David. I know asking this is going to upset George though as he refuses to teach the younger ones, but it feels a little unfair not to split them more evenly.

I would be less tired at the end of the week and David is always talking of quitting because of the stress of his junior classes. I love those kids but I also value my health.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Another day of going with the flow mostly.

Something I learned today?

As I teach my grade 10s about relationships I’m learning a little about each of them and their personalities. Toon told me she is a people pleaser whilst Milk doesn’t care if a boy is interested in her. They joked that between them they make a balanced human being.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave some leftover snacks from last night’s ceremony to some students this morning.

I drove Amy and me home and back to the city to pick up snack boxes and food for tonight’s ceremony.

I took this picture because Tokyo was pretty relaxed. I still have to be very careful with her though. She can bite really quickly and with no apparent provocation.

Click Click – 16th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

At the flick of the switch
There’s no transformation
Remaining an ape or beast
Change requires dedication
No more time to waste
If you wish the click to clack
When you look at the sun
It’s impossible to put it back

Reflecting on our animal nature
A broken machine needing self-repair
Once burdened by distraction
Soon found themselves made it there
Feed the mind with thought
That keeps on the light
Keep quiet and count the days
When everything became quite right

Today I’m feeling:

A bit more relaxed after an extra hour’s sleep. Today is teachers’ day (apparently) and a day off from school though we are busy again at the temple. At least I got two Utopian coffees to kick off this morning.

I didn’t feel too hot after lunch and though feeling sleepy couldn’t get into a deep nap state.

Today I’m grateful for:

Whoever made the Thai snack boxes for the funeral ceremony tonight. There were enough left over for me to take some home.

The best thing about today was:

Mostly devoting my time to other people, though at the temple I’m not really doing much because I don’t know the etiquette or what is required but as soon as I’m asked I will do what is needed.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

At Utopia this morning I couldn’t stop sneezing! I sneezed about fifty times and Nick and Art were worried about me!

Something I learned today?

The top five wealthiest people in the world doubled their wealth last year! Just in one year. I’m guessing that for many others in the world, they halved their wealth. The miracle of trickle-up economics, or should I say flooding-up?

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I’ve been a good boy again, doing as I’m told at the temple. I kneeled to the boy monk as I handed him pizza for lunch! Good luck boy monk. Stay off your phone.

Driving twice in and out of the city again despite feeling not 100%. Tired by the afternoon and my sinuses feel uncomfortable.

List 3 good things you have now that you didn’t have five years ago.

I thought that this would be difficult as I haven’t really acquired ‘things’ that much but five years is a long time and I acquired one of the biggest things in people’s lives and that is a home.

This time five years ago our house was built but it hadn’t quite been turned into a home, at least as I feel about it now.

I feel comfortable and safe around our house and neighbourhood and inside is Amy’s playground for decorating. If I thought about it more and knew where to buy things easily and cheaply perhaps I would make a home environment that suits me too but I’m also a little lazy to do that. Mine and Amy’s ideas are not that compatible and I’m happy to defer to her in this instance. Actually, I’m happy to defer to her most of the time.

Five years ago I didn’t have a guitar and that cheap instrument has brought me a lot of pleasure since purchase. I don’t think that a better quality guitar will improve my playing that much so I’m happy with what I’ve got.

The last thing I have is a deeper love. My love and connection with my students has grown so much in this time and it fills me with joy. I wonder where all our futures will take us.

As I was messaging with Baipad, who is in her grandmum’s village for ดำหัวผู้ใหญ่, she told me that her mum told her to send me this picture of them in their traditional Lahu dress. 
Fatman report

Nourishment – 15th January 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

What does it feel like to function?
Thoughts turned to action
The picture comes alive
An outlaw in this society
We lose life every day
Yet art will always remain
The air and the food
In a world where it’s easy to starve

inspired/borrowed from this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

A little dizzy still and my sore throat is back, I think from the incense at the temple irritating my throat.

Today I’m grateful for:

This Thai family around me. Not without faults but somehow welcoming and inclusive for this idiot.

The best thing about today was:

I did get an hour of free time this afternoon and got twenty minutes of enjoyable bad guitar practice.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

I’ve been assigned a task this evening as part of the ceremony though I’m not clear what it is. I was just told to follow the others doing the same thing. I feel like a kid in a school play who doesn’t remember where to stand or exactly what to do and just looks around at everyone else and hopes no one notices.

(Later) Well, it involved some scooting on knees and wai-ing and I hoped didn’t look too out of place as the only white non-Buddhist in the room.

Something I learned today?

This was a couple of days ago but worth mentioning that journalist Gonzalo Lira died in a Ukrainian prison. He was imprisoned for reporting truths about Ukraine’s targeting of civilians in Donetsk both before the US proxy war and in the early stages of it. It’s just another nail in the US imperialist coffin that lies about freedom and democracy.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

In between classes, I came to the temple to support the family and after class, I came to collect Amy before driving us home and then back to the city again to pick up food for Grandmum’s mourners.

August (grade 8) came to my class today sighing that she misses her boyfriend (who broke up with her six months ago). I consoled her but later sent her messages to be strong and independent. She appreciated my words but I could feel she’s not strong enough yet.

August (grade 9) took this picture because she stole my phone out of my pocket whilst I was talking with Kru Ren. This is Sunwa, August and Pat, whose birthday it was today. 15th birthday I guess, though she behaves with a little more maturity than her classmates.