I’m a mafia, a ninja A beauty pageant queen A killer, a lover Not what I seem I’m a prisoner, running The drama in a dream A thriller, a horror Lived out on a screen I’m a wolf, a soldier All I want I’ve been A housewife, a salesman A life lived so clean I’m a target, a comedian Laugh until you scream Anything I ever wanted Is what I’ve always been
Coffee is the fuel this morning as I struggle to get going after feeling some pain in my left hip throughout the night.
But ‘get going’ is relative as today I plan to do little beyond watching the football.
And that was one intense game of football which has weirdly seen us through to the finals as opposed to Geelong, last year’s winners unable to make it. It’s been a great turnaround but I don’t see us being able to make the grand final this year.
Today I’m grateful for:
The shirt that I ordered for Hayden arrived here safe and sound. I’ll try it on for size and then order a couple for myself some time too.
It was weird that some of the shirts are in stock in Australia but the shipping to Thailand was cheaper than shipping within Australia!
The best thing about today was:
Catching up with some reading, books and comics. Choosing to read instead of watching TV. It’s not easy because there are lots of things I like to watch but I’m finding that I’m neglecting reading because of it. I usually get my ideas from things I read rather than things I watch.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Yesterday I hung out the washing even though dark clouds were brewing. I mistakenly trusted the weather forecast of no rain. An hour later a huge storm hit drenching everything. Oh well, they’ll dry today I thought, but today the sun barely broke through and whilst some of the lighter things managed to dry everything else was still wet or damp and will need to be washed again. There’s another ten days of rain due so I may actually have to go the laundry to use a dryer.
Something I learned today?
Things I haven’t thought about for a while are a little bit of a struggle to recall these days. I struggled to recall some manga artists’ names this evening, artists of which I paid lots of dollars for the work at one time in my life, so they had a deep enough meaning for me for a while. I did eventually figure out the names through a series of online searches but still, I worry about nonsense going into my head pushing out all the good stuff.
If I had to describe myself using only five words, what would they be?
Sometimes I think I’m ok. Sometimes I make mistakes too. Friends can be far away. I do what I do. No excuses for doing wrong. My life means nothing anyway. Always trying to understand myself. There’s often little to say.
I took this picture because although Tigger can fit into the shelf under the table, for some reason he felt more comfortable with his butt sticking out like this.
Slept early last night and got up early ready to go for a ride with Bruno, up to Doi Chang.
I was too early for Utopia but felt pumped to be going on a long ass ride. Once getting into the mountains the cool clean air tickled my nose with the now-familiar smells of fresh growth foliage and flowers. All the food stalls around added to the perfume and even the small fires around reminded me of camping trips from days gone by.
It was a joy to be out there today.
Today I’m grateful for:
Bruno being the way he is and leading us to accidentally drink civet-shit coffee overlooking a glorious long valley view.
The owners also gave us a fresh avocado with local honey and Bruno asked if they had any more to which he was told sure, just go pick them. They went off under the terrace and picked up 4 or 5 big cricket balls from high up using a net on a 3-metre bamboo pole. I love that Bruno will just go and do what takes his fancy and it always ends us up in interesting situations
The best thing about today was:
The ride down from Doi Chang and through Doi Wawee was just beautiful and Wawee especially was a pretty village. The school had just let out students at midday and we drove up past the gates. The school is magnificent, sculpted up the hillside, and looks impeccable. All the kids were happy and playful as they tumbled out down the hill.
Riding through these places made me reflect a bit more on my place in Thailand and as a teacher. I can understand more about the teacher’s and the student’s apathy when I see the places where they live and the lack of opportunities and ambition around them. I give them a hard time to make the best of themselves and now I recognise those soft faces looking up at me quietly expressing, ‘What’s the point?’
Once on the road back to Mae Chan, I got stuck behind a van with about ten school students stuffed in the back along with various packages, parcels and goods. They were all happily, lazily chatting and looking at their phones, perhaps just being in the happy childhood state of not knowing what is going to happen next, where they are going or what they will do when they arrive.
In opposition, all I wanted to do was overtake the van but the roads were too twisty to be able to get around. I just wanted to get home to where I knew exactly everything that will happen. I wished I could go back to that state of happiness that comes from interruptions to boredom, saying yes to anything, just to hang out a bit longer.
When I was like that I was usually the last one home.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I thought I would struggle with not having my usual two morning coffees but for some reason, I was just psyched to be riding and didn’t really want to stop anywhere until we got ‘there’, wherever the next ‘there ‘ was.
At the end of the 7-hour ride, covered in mud, dirt and dust I dropped into Utopia for coffee finally and they all wondered why I hadn’t been in the morning.
Something I learned today?
I learned that civet shit coffee tastes smooth but is overpriced and overrated.
What was I like as a child?
The same as I am now but less grown up….in effect, I am still a child, it is just that I have learned how to handle adult responsibilities.
I took this picture because we nearly missed this shop but glad we turned back to stop and check out this incredible view.
Today I experimented a little using AI. I took the five paragraphs individually in this post at Spinning Visions and asked AI to summarise each with a four-line poem:
A balcony that's hidden from the view
A door that's sealed with plaster and with lies
A neighbor who has seen what lies behind
A mind that's overgrown with ivy vines
They say our brains must prune the past
To make some room for what is new
But I don't want to lose the things
That made me who I am with you
I've closed so many doors inside
And left them in the dark
I've cut off ties that once were mine
And hid the broken parts
I saw him through the window pane
The one who broke my heart
I thought of all the words unsaid
And how we grew apart
I've left behind so many things
That once were part of me
But now they're hidden by the green
Of ivy's memory
I then asked AI to make these results more philosophical and ended up with this:
What is a balcony but a space
Between the inside and the out
A door that's closed can never face
The truth that lies beyond the doubt
What is a brain but a device
That stores and shapes our history
But when it prunes it pays a price
And loses parts of mystery
What is a heart but a vessel
That fills and spills with love and pain
A tie that binds or a trestle
That bridges gaps or breaks in twain
What is a memory but a shade
That fades and grows with time and light
A green that covers or a blade
That cuts and heals or stirs the night
Of course, I can’t really claim any credit for this beyond the fact that I took the time and effort to do it. I like Makenna’s writing at Spinning Visions and have found it quite inspiring to take her ideas and thoughts and consider them in my own contexts. This time I was just curious how AI would find summarising short texts into four-line poems.
Today I’m feeling:
Tired but positive, a little sleepy when I stop and sit. Need to keep moving. I pushed through two workouts again and feel good for that. After my first class is a four-hour break that I will hope to stay awake through. I don’t want to get caught sleeping at the cafe!
Kept myself going by getting right into some more lesson planning so ran out of time to even do much blog updating.
Today I’m grateful for:
The little plastic toe spacer that I hope will improve my sore big toe joint over time. I’ve tried a few different spacers but I find that they can get uncomfortable after an hour or so, even waking me from sleep. This one is smaller and simpler and just helps you keep the big toe straight in comparison with the second toe. It would be great if I could actually fix this painful foot that has bothered me on and off for most of my life. I’d also like to fix my hips which are out of balance and also contribute to the pain in my foot and other places such as knees, back and the hips themselves.
I can imagine a complete relief, like being pumped full of a relaxant but I think that will only come just before I die. A slow relief that completely overwhelms, until only your body is all that is left and you cease to exist.
The best thing about today was:
Listening to Nicha and Namkhing improve their reading skills, as I had been personally encouraging them last year with one-on-one lessons and whereas then, they struggled with even just two-letter words now they are able to make attempts at four-, five- and six-letter words. They still often fail but the fact that they are trying fills with happiness. I made sure they knew how happy I was too.
Something I learned today?
I rediscovered a website with some English lesson plans, quizzes and games and it inspired me to put together new lessons. Once I get into it I can imagine the work unfolding in the classroom, who will struggle and who will do well, deciding whether to push harder or pull back. Not every time is a hit and some days that happens can be frustrating for the students who then make it frustrating for me. I think I mixed things up well this week and kept my students occupied, learning (if they wanted to) and happy.
Where am I headed?
I’m just heading along. I feel like I’ve spent my life headed to here, where I am. I don’t have any other place I particularly need to be.
This could change in the future as I’m guessing at some point we will head back to Australia again. I don’t need to be thinking about that right now though.
What worries me the most currently?
I don’t tend to worry much about anything. Even things that might cause worry such as Amy being able to settle back here again, doesn’t really worry me that much. Whatever path life goes down I’m still on the path.
I took this picture because finally, something stood out to me that begged a photo to be taken. The sky was a little brighter today which seemed to open my eyes more to what is around.
A harmony made with a push The string welcomes the bow Complimentary or alone Compensates for what we know
A combination of careful ears Sing along or start your own When no one hears the tree fall The counter remains unknown
Today I’m feeling:
Positive, perky, alive. Under that, I know I’m a little tired and could enjoy more of the good sleep that I had last night. A busy day has passed happily at school. Now for a chill evening.
Today I’m grateful for:
The Rocks soda water that can be left in the fridge opened and still be fizzy after 24 hours. It seems suspicious to me! How is it possible? It’s good though because it’s so fizzy I can’t drink a whole bottle in one go.
The best thing about today was:
Pushing myself through two exercise routines this morning (abs and chest) which got me going. I feel like I need to push a little bit extra at the moment as I put on a little weight recently.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I took everything in my stride With a confidence I couldn’t hide When things wrong I just played along Using the skills I’ve learned and applied
Something I learned today?
I saw one of my old students (Sun) today and barely recognised him. I hadn’t seen him around for about six months I guess but in that time his face went from a boy to a man. That’s scary. Some other students have barely changed in three years. It is a privilege to be able to watch them grow.
Which reminds me, yesterday I wrote about August’s birthday and today I saw her in a class and wished her a happy birthday. She was shocked and surprised that I knew. I think it made her happy.
How is my life different from how I thought it would turn out?
Holy shit, my life is totally different than I thought it might be.
Up until meeting Bronwyn, I didn’t really have any idea about what I might end up doing. I was looking forward to a life of dull drudgeful depression in the UK and had no vision to escape.
Thankfully, fortuitously, meeting Bronwyn helped me find a way out that even though was still rudderless, set me on a path of discovery.
I never wanted to get married and ended up marrying three times, though if it wasn’t for visa requirements, I likely wouldn’t have married at all.
I never wanted children but Hayden came along as a happy surprise.
These days I don’t feel quite the need to push my life in any particular direction as I’m content with where I’m at.
Jet took this picture because she took my phone to take selfies and asked me to join in. Jet and Fah are two of my favourite students. Though both have wildly different personalities they still also can’t help acting their age of 13 or 14. They are smart and funny.
A genius level of stupid I always knew you would be good At something no one needed And remain misunderstood
A stupid level of genius Makes for far too few friends And alliterating the point Is unlikely to make amends
Today I’m feeling:
It’s late afternoon and it feels like I haven’t thought about how I’ve been feeling today. That’s kinda good. Some emotional stability maybe?
It’s been a good day with little stress and if I do stop to think about it, I feel happy.
Today I’m grateful for:
Fon sending me more sourdough bread again. I had to stop myself from eating it all immediately so that I can enjoy it tomorrow too.
The best thing about today was:
Today was one of those smooth pleasant days without any real highs or lows. I was happy that I was inspired to write a couple of poems in my break though.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
Yesterday evening passed so quickly, with two hours being taken up with taking Tig to the vet, that I dropped my streaks in my language apps. I didn’t even realise or remember until this evening when I saw a notification about it.
Something I learned today?
I learned that it is August’s (the dancer) birthday on Friday. I only know because I just happened to see it in LINE when I was clicking around. It also may not actually be her birthday.
Anyway, will I remember it on Friday? Even if I ran into her I think I would still forget. I’ll set myself a notification but even then I may not see it.
Knowing so many kids it seems like there’s a birthday every week.
What is a compliment I’ll never forget?
As I’m trying to remember a compliment, I’m reminded of a time when I was in my early twenties and there was a cute new girl hanging out with one of my groups of friends (though I forget who). Anyway, thinking she was cute and interesting I was quite taken when I came by our mutual friends one day and she said ‘Here he is, the enigmatic Shaun.’
I thought of this as a compliment, thinking, hoping that she liked me though as I’ve gotten older I think enigma has a little bit of a negative connotation, like a little difficult or standoffish. I guess between young adults though it would still usually have positive connotations.
In the end, I think I only met this girl three or four times before our lives span off in other directions.
Otherwise, I believe I have forgotten all the compliments I’ve received, though knowing that I have received them.
I’m not a fisher for compliments and as alluded to above, perhaps I can be perceived as standoffish. I’m happy to accept a compliment but soon dismiss its importance.
If I receive compliments I just assume it was for something that was just the right or good thing to do.
Quote: Devote the rest of your life to making progress – Epictetus
I can feel my rate of progress slowing down these days, which is quite natural but also slightly disheartening. I’m not so much in wonder of things going on in the world or my life, having done my small share of exploring it already.
I do still go off on tangents of discovery but notice that processes are much the same from one subject to another. Maybe I’ve been looking at too many philosophy texts and have boiled down life to its essence.
This reminds me again of the lyric, which I’ve probably quoted before, by Built To Spill, ‘Life goes on long after the thrill of it has gone.’
Having said that I do never want to stop reading, learning, and progressing even if it appears I may be just spinning my wheels. I can fool myself easily.
I took this picture because Tigger was at the door waiting to be let in and padded around the table and looked up expectantly, ‘Lie down so I can sit on….quickly!’ So I did and so he did.Fatman report
God took six days to do What can now be done In a minute At the push of a button A simple prompt A new world may be created Everything for that we strived Made faster and easier And with it, the artist dies Along with their struggle How to know something is good? It must be a piece of you A chuck of the pain That gave birth No more the imagination Your future automated *A boundless machine Of artistic demoralisation*
inspired and pilfered from the Red Hand Files and *Nick Cave directly
Today I’m feeling:
Unsure yet. I guess I’m relaxed. Just a little soft around the edges, not quite in focus.
At midday, my mojo is returning after three hours of catching up on writing and some reading.
And then….(see further below)
Today I’m grateful for:
The medicine that has helped Tigger overcome his fever and infection. I wasn’t particularly worried about Tig but I also remembered not being too worried about Kim when she was sick too. Sometimes, when Amy is being cautious, it’s best to follow her lead, just in case.
The best thing about today was:
Coffee. And having a few hours spare to read and write but more importantly to get my brain back in the game.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
In my final class of the day, I lost my patience with one student who was being obnoxious to me. I took his phone and later gave it to his homeroom teacher. He didn’t even seem to care that much.
It’s a shame as I have previously gotten on well with that student. I can guess that something was going on with him but still…..
Sometimes the disrespect gets to me.
6th Nov 2023 – Only three months later and I only have a vague memory of this happening and can’t recall who it was! I think that’s good. No grudges held.
Something I learned today?
Tigger’s infection is all good now, though because of the medicine he had been taking his kidney function levels are a little high. Another week without medicine before another blood test which hopefully gives the all-clear.
How would I describe where I am right now?
I think if I told my friends just the word ‘Thailand’, that would trigger their imaginations to understand where I am right now. I know that I’m living a lucky life. Despite minor stresses, I’m feeling content and almost at peace.
How did I embrace uncertainty?
I’ve been looking at this question for several days. I feel that my life is reasonably certain and has been for a long time. In times when I did feel uncertain it was purely internal thoughts rather than some circumstance.
Both times I moved countries I didn’t feel uncertainty really, though I guess that means that I did embrace it. How did I do that? Perhaps by positivity. Perhaps by ignorance.
As I’ve gotten older I’ve understood that no matter what happens or is happening, things will be okay. Sometimes you just have to go through shit. I do wish I could’ve worked that out when I was younger as it would have saved me a lot of trouble and stress at that time.
What is an unusual fact about me?
I was listening to the End On End podcast with the High Back Chairs and one of them was talking about his collection of German military uniforms from 1880-1918. It reminded me that no matter what you may know people for they can always surprise you with something unusual.
I guess I have an unusual amount of CDs featuring unusual music but because of the circles I run in that doesn’t seem particularly unusual to me but may be to others.
Perhaps something I find unusual about myself is the variety of work that I’ve done over the years. Ugh, even that doesn’t seem particularly unusual though.
Am I.… am I normal? What’s wrong with that? I don’t want to be normal. I know that no one is normal but I would hate for someone to think of me as normal!
Quote: I quote others in order to better myself – Montaigne
Sometimes a good quote captures your imagination and consolidates ideas into a sentence or two. Most of the quotes I enjoy are positive but I also dig the backhanded sarcastic and ironic type of quote when it is clearly obvious its intention.
I wish I could remember good quotes though and be able to use them in conversation. That would make me appear smart. Perhaps that is vanity but it’s true, I would like to appear smart at least. Because I don’t feel smart at all. Can I fool myself?
There’s only a small role to be played No one is more important in the game Better to choose not to be insulted By those who wish the rules remain
The witches and wizards will try To knock you off your shaky feet Their game is a lonely one Where they’re happy to have you beat
To feel better at another’s expense Does not a balanced life bring And that tiny role that belongs to you Is the truth that lets you sing
Today I’m feeling:
A little slow to go. Lost in a little canna paranoia. Reflecting on who I am and what I’ve done and what’s left to do. What’s next?
Life is such a boring existence when seen through a focused lens. Everything is dull. There’s nothing new anymore. No wonder left in the world. Most of the time we just busy ourselves to ignore it.
I’d better get busy.
Today I’m grateful for:
Finding salad at the Walking Street today. I had Amy’s lasagna for lunch and by the time it got to 5 pm, I knew I needed to eat something else and started craving salad. At first, I couldn’t find my usual favourite stall to buy at, though eventually found another as I was just starting to wonder what else I could eat. Topped with some English Cheddar chips, I could’ve eaten another bowl full.
The best thing about today was:
My head getting back together and realising that I’m okay. At least, I think I’m ok!
How are people so sure of themselves? Everything they do is trivial and ridiculous. I know this about myself and I’m certain it’s not just me!
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I didn’t answer this question yesterday and today I’m leaning towards what I almost wrote yesterday in that I’m running out of time to get all the things done that I would like to do. I’m thinking that I have to stop watching so many YouTube or TV shows. Ironically this thought was triggered by a video I was watching about how our attention spans are so short these days.
Something I learned today?
Ipswich Town are in first place in the League Championship. They’ve only played two games so far though! Maybe my old team will be back in the big league next year.
Rista sent me this picture because she’s away playing kabaddi in Kanchanaburi and she was smart enough to ask me if she would have to keep up with my classwork. I told her not to worry about it and enjoy herself but to send me pictures. I was surprised and appreciative that she did. She’s a good kid. She separated herself a little from some of her friends who were diverting her attention away from things she has decided she wants to do.
Once I’ve met all my desires I’ll be sure to conjure some more A constant chase for satisfaction Always trying to even up the score
I’d like to stop this always running Trying to look behind every door I want to exit it altogether Now I’ve considered what life is for
Today I’m feeling:
Relaxed and positive. A little more awake than the last few days. If I had some kind of flu I think I’m on the other side of it now.
Today I’m grateful for:
The Libgen website that makes finding certain books very easy even though I generally download them and then forget about them. I wish I made more time to read and read and read.
The best thing about today was:
Playing guitar for about four hours as I enjoyed some mental stimulation with some cannabutter and half a trip. The music was sounding very smooth, ringing with a perfect ohm.
Something I learned today?
I read about a bookstore owner turned woodcut artist called Han Lilin who discussed a 19th-century anarcho-feminist called He Yin Zhen and led me to a book that analyses her writing.
Han Lilin’s woodcut prints were very cool but I couldn’t find a place that was selling them.
What is my mood today?
Happily elevated today. From getting up lazily to enjoying my coffees, then watching Sydney beat the Suns in a fairly ordinary match, before getting lost in music and tunes and rhythm and finally settling into some TV watching. I didn’t get much of anything done I guess but enjoyed another day that can be endlessly filled with entertainment.
I took this picture because Noey is back from her holiday and when not making me coffee she likes to play with P’ti.
Security kills me Anxiety keeps me alive The paranoid and prudent Get to survive
I don’t want to be happy I don’t want to want I don’t deserve it There must be more More than survival
A life without pain Would often be short Our wealth is unhealthy But we’re mostly bought
Found in abundance At a temporary table Making me so fat And mentally unstable
I don’t want to feel good I don’t want to want But I want to be good My biology Keeps eating my cake
Denton, Texas befuddlers Flesh Narc pile together the nicest grapes they could find, herein compiled from the first song they wrote in 2013 to the band’s first tour in summer 2017. Witness the genre whiplash that Flesh Narc is capable of from their beginnings as a slacker post-punk power trio to their descent into electronic abstraction and back to a retightened, haywire rock band. A comprehensive review of Flesh Narc’s early years, off-the-wall lyrical content and confused music guaranteed.
tracks 1-4 recorded October-November 2014 by Michael Briggs tracks 5-7 recorded October, December 2015 by Michael Briggs tracks 8-10 recorded June-July 2016 by Michael Briggs tracks 11-13 recorded October, December 2015-February 2016 by Sinevil track 14 recorded live February 10th 2017 at Cleemus & Ploumplesti’s, Denton tracks 15-18 recorded May-June 2017 by Justin Lemons track 19 recorded live August 4th 2017 at Archer Ballroom, Chicago by Steve Gassen
1-4: Optical Intrusion (January 2015) 5,6: Slow Deep and Narc (March 2016) 7: Narc That! (June 2016) 8,9: TS/FN ❤ (split with Thin Skin) (November 2016) 10: Dinner’s Served (Thanksgiving 2016) 11-13: Eyes on the Fabric (Narc Infinitives) (February 2017) 14: Hailey’s Fan Club (July 2017) 15-18: Frisky/Gardens (July 2017) 19: Split with Slackbeat (March 2018)
Flesh Narc is Matt Burgess, Rick Eye and Reece McLean.
In early 2013, Rick joined Reece’s project Bukkake Moms and they formed the freewheeling collective Problem Dogg. In the midst of that chaos, Matt’s long-time band Eat Avery’s Bones began playing shows more regularly, and it wasn’t long before Matt became involved in the Problem Dogg consortium. Matt, Reece and Rick practiced for the first time together in November 2013 and wrote their first song, “Jack Off Cubes”. 8 more songs were written but they got distracted by mineral trading drama and decided to stop practicing for 5 months. Upon remembering they were a band, they quickly recorded their 9 unrehearsed songs and made up about 9 more on the spot, some of which were better. Their first album “Optical Intrusion” and companion EP “Narc It!” were released in early 2015 and the first live shows followed. Human microphone stands were utilized and instrument switches were abundant and time-consuming.
Improvised electronics slowly crept in, eventually usurping the live set for a brief part of 2016. A 2nd album “Slow Deep and Narc” with companion EP “Narc That!” followed and not long after a split cassette with Thin Skin.
The band’s slacker rock sound was running its course, and the radical left-turn electronic album “Eyes on the Fabric (Narc Infinitives)” was still held up in post-production. Thankfully, refreshment was found through the joining of Beth Dodds from Bukkake Moms on drums and occasional guitar/bass/keyboards in January 2017. The band gained a new intensity and confusion factor. “Eyes on the Fabric (Narc Infinitives)” finally released in February 2017, featuring stark electronics and free-associating vocals lost in the dark. The new 4-piece Flesh Narc prepared for a summer tour with Thin Skin and produced “Frisky/Gardens”, originally a demo, but later canonized by default. “Hailey’s Fan Club”, a live album of electronic material that verges on comedy, also made its way to tape in time for the tour.
Flesh Narc’s performance in Chicago at Archer Ballroom (later released as a split with Slackbeat in 2018) showed the band in a demented form on the home stretch of tour. In the Loop Magazine reviewed the show calling Flesh Narc, “noise going nowhere” and urged readers to “leave immediately” upon encountering the band (beintheloopchicago.com?p=20995).
In the immediate wake of the tour, the 4-piece line-up of Flesh Narc dissolved. The band’s next album, intended to be called “Grapes” (consisting of rerecorded “Frisky/Gardens” songs and new material), was scrapped before recording. The band reverted back into a trio again and replaced drums with manually-tapped drum machine and tapes.
And what happens after that is for another compilation another time.
From 2017 to the present day, things in the land of Flesh Narc have grown very complex, with numerous releases of varying styles with new collaborators. As a quick primer, and to fulfil the unrealized dream of the “Grapes” album, this compilation of Flesh Narc’s early years should suffice.
Today I’m feeling:
Slooow to go! I had a weed gummy last night which I thought didn’t really have much effect beyond focusing concentration on playing guitar. And trying to fix the Canna butter bottle that broke, I had a drop or less of that which seemed to get me thinking sideways for the rest of the evening that rapidly disappeared. I had deeply thought-provoking dreams that felt quite negative in that they reminded me of my age and my place in the world. I woke up a little shook. I feel pretty damn relaxed now though. The heat and rain have gone for a while and it’s nice enough to sit outside again with a soft breeze stirring. I’ve been out here for an hour already.
Today I’m grateful for:
Bruno picking me up at the Nissan dealer in the afternoon. We went up to Ahka Cottage for coffee whilst the car was being ‘serviced’. I put that in quotes as it’s sometimes a little difficult to know if they really check over everything or just change the oil and filter and things you ask them. Presumably, they’re doing a good job.
I’m also grateful to Gong at Utopia who called ahead to Daytripper about a pipette for me for my CBD oil.
What was the best thing today?
Seeing Amy happy back in her room in Sydney, already thinking about how to enjoy her last eight weeks there. She was happy to return to more comfortable temperatures although it has been a little cooler here too today.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
It was odd to be in the passenger seat of a car for a change. Weird not to have a car key in my pocket.
Something I learned today?
Watching Brian Dunning’s inFact explained why there are suddenly lots of military UFO sightings in the last six months. It all seemed to be down to a core group of connected people who have pushing their theories for the last 15 years. They’re not presenting anything new but they are all presenting it at the same time, presumably to inspire funding from the government. Which country? You can guess, it’s your friend and mine, the USA! It’s rare to hear about UFO sightings anywhere else.
What is my favourite time of day?
Although I struggle to do it without external motivation I’ve come to enjoy the mornings, especially living here in Chiang Rai. Age and location also have an influence, as well as circumstances of obligations.
I pretty much like any time of day. I’m alive and the passing of time is increasing. It’s not impossible to enjoy every breath but the last one should be spent in contentment.
I took this picture because I sat outside in the cooler air with this smelly boy rolling around at my feet and His Royal Highness Cappuccino in the apparent safety of the dining room behind the screen door.
When I read those things I didn’t understand why They made sense to me But unable to apply Not yet ready for wisdom To be practised so One day I’ll realise The things I already know
inspired by a post at Spinning Visions that reminded me of myself and my own looking back and finding old gems in diaries where I realise that I knew what was ‘good’ and ‘right’ but was not mature enough to actually be ‘good’ and ‘right’.
Today I’m feeling:
Woke up many times last night feeling either hot or cold. Combined with my tiredness I may have a fever but came to school anyway though decided to just give work to my final class and have them submit it online so I can go home again. Annoying to be getting sick with another long weekend. Nevermind.
Today I’m grateful for:
Bandcamp and their new option for listening parties which I just tried out today with the release of the Flesh Narc compilation. A couple of people tuned in but I can see now that it will be better planned a little more in advance and promoted a bit more.
The best thing about today was:
Picking up my guitar again after five days off. I got really into it even though I knew I was playing badly. Sometimes I just turn up the songs so loud that it’s hard to even hear what I’m playing.
I’m lost in a, not even air guitar but air emotion as if I’m in front of a thousand people and feel like I really mean it! Look at me, wasn’t I great? Ah, it was nothing.
I still feel like I’m twelve years old and can’t help myself sometimes.
What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?
I ordered some canna butter that came in a small bottle with a pipette. I figured it would be best kept in the fridge thinking that it was like a thick oil.
Tonight I thought I’d give it a try and twisted the lid which then snapped the pipette in half. No worries I thought, there’s a little bit sticking out that I can pull out with my teeth. It was then, with a sudden crunch, that I discovered that the pipette was made of glass and I had a mouthful of tiny shards of glass.
After spitting them out I looked at the bottle more and could see that inside the bottle, which is presumably liquid at room temperature, the substance had hardened like real butter and the rest of the glass pipette tube was stuck solid in it.
I’ll try to figure out how to not swallow any glass whilst trying the, hopefully, liquid once it gets back to room temperature.
Something I learned today?
I suppose I could say I learned how the Bandcamp listening parties work, as I talked about it above. That was probably the main thing for me today though I surely took in lots of other little bits of information.
I took this picture because I let Tigger out for a little while as the sun was shining. I found him here in one of his favourite spots, in the garage under the cover of the big leaves. A perfect view of incoming opportunity or danger.
1994ever 