Tag: reading

Fifty-Two Little Thoughts – 1st January 2025

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 11 Comments

The following poems were inspired by the Outcast and Other Words anthology which I came across sometime in 2024. I decided to take all the prompts from that anthology and see what I could come up with myself.
17th Sep 2025 – Shared with dVerse – reflections

1: Outcast

Duck Face

We outcasted ourselves by dissemination
Of the minutiae of every spit and cough
Sharing feeble insights and useless opinion
Considering a duck face meme be enough


2: Unearth

Deeper

When dug down deep enough
Through all the muddied ground
A sense formed from nothing
Unexpectedly found profound


3: Imperfect

The Perfect Image

A studied mirror finds the flaws
The qualities hindered by thought
Image is only imagination
Subconsciously learned and taught


4: Destiny

Stopped Dead

A tragic victim of fate or led astray by odd notions?
Either way, ended up beneath the roiling oceans
Or frozen solid on a parade to the mountaintop
Life lived in safety has already come to a stop


5: Gratitude

Crawl

Sparky Attitude, an ungrateful iconoclast
Demolished her own feeble castle keeps
An arrogant empire would neither share nor last
To a lonely future she limps and creeps


6: Wild

Innate

A heart race
As the tiger leapt
Covering me with all its grace
In his eyes kept
All the wonder
Of his beauty
All the danger of his threat


7: Remedy

Good Little Boys and Girls

Crush the little kiddy bones
Grip their brains to squeeze
Make a million homo-clones
Purely bred to please

Break the little baby brain
Mould until compliant
Not an atom must remain
Of any trace defiant


8: Candour

Home, James

Hello Frank, I’m Earnest
Let’s work to fix this joint
Blunt, direct and candid
Let’s just get to the point


9: Accidental

The Place Of Knowing

Was it an accident or fate?
Did destiny set me straight?
I fell off the path while going
To the place of finally knowing


10: Mimic

Bovell Rock

Show me the mould, I wanna break it
It’s a lovealution and we’re gonna make it
Put me in a box and I’ll find an escape
That’s the revolution we’re trying to shape

Inspired by Dennis Bovell


11: Guardian

Hold On

Hold on tight to the hallelujahs
Death creeps in ditches along the way
No protection on the road to perdition
When the drunk comes out to play

Inspired by a young friend of a friend who was suddenly killed by a drunk driver


12: Indecision

Designer

Wishing and waiting?
Thoughts and prayers?
Thin ice skating
A toy on the stairs

Get busy designing
With purpose and pliers
Lifetime defining
Lighting the fires


13: Light

All The Wrongs

Why the darkness, why the night
Where all the wrongs are told as right?
The world around wasn’t forced to fight
Let’s take a step towards the light


14: Fear

The Unfolding

Always made meaning
As the moment slipped away
Slowly unfolding


15: Intricate

Mandelbrot

The politics of time create confusion
All blame is built on past illusion
A cobweb mandala of contrived deceit
The circle of power remains incomplete


16: Colours

True

Don’t be afraid of the rainbow
Black and white is never true
That’s why the world makes you crazy
And only seeing blue

When it’s all too much to bear
Is when it’s time for you to show
When the darkness makes you small
The truth will help you grow


17: Emptiness

Firestarter


Just need a little juice to fill up the whole
A tiny spark to get some action-shifting
A combustion of the heart that you stole
To restock the emptiness of your gifting


18: Performance

Exit Stage Left

Get it together, this is your show
Your audience awaits with bated breath
To follow your story as you grow
And the curtain closes with your death


19: Abundance

Gurfa

Who can catch all the falling figs
Ripened and ready for your dreams?
All the water in the palm of your hand
Is never enough it seems


20: Resting

Spike

I told you I was ill
Perhaps it’s for the best
I just lie here still
To enjoy my final rest


21: Day and Night

A Perfect Contradiction

Waking in the morning was as if nothing had changed
Except that everything in life had been rearranged
Walking again into the night the patterns are all the same
What it was and what it is now has a different name


22: Secret Doorways

Wizards

The Internet is a collective hallucination
Trap doors hide the rabbit holes
Spiralling further away from reality
Over the rainbow and beyond controls


23: Taste

A Distinct Lack Of

Once the sweetness of success sets in
A bitter pill is like ingesting sin
Lazy complacency soon turns sour
A spicy life now mundane and dour


24: Shadows

Colourless

Life stamps out the artist
Imagination overruled by data
Needing money for survival
Has us working harder not smarter


25: Fragment

The Creases

Taking a thought and pulling it apart
Taking a heart and smashing it to pieces
A fragment pleases, a misunderstood art
An origami part, following the creases


26: Wishes

My Honest Pitch

Everything’s an ad, even the news
Propaganda spun to get more views
Everything’s and ad so here’s my pitch
Subscribe now if you want to get rich

27: Circle

The Newest Apocalypse

Fighting for breath, caught in the undertow,
Unplug from the drama, go with the flow
Another story that no one else needs to know
An ever-decreasing circle ready to be let go

Title taken from and poem inspired by The Stoa Letter email


28: Life

Guru Free

For life, always in search of a cure
But what is good is easy to get!
What is terrible, easy to endure!
Death hasn’t come for us yet

For a thousand years, this advice, free
Now sold by gurus for a mighty fee


29: Moonstruck, Ragtag & Wanderlust

My Three Sons

Such useless boys, always dreaming
Their twinkling eyes always gleaming
Awaiting their return, to see them again
Left as boys yet returned as men


30: Journey

Eulogy

Chuck me in the cheapest casket
Feed my flesh to the flames
Waste no time with weeping
Rejoice your reality remains


31: Nostalgia

The Cleaner

Without explanation let’s concoct a story
A dry tale to give the past some meaning
Wrap an old coat around to comfort
When these memories need spring cleaning


32: Reflection

The Weight Of A Seed

With the weight of a seed

Arrogance kept in his heart
His majestic glow darkens
His character torn apart

No matter his benevolence

The righteousness of his deeds
To hell, he will banished
For satisfying his own needs


33: Time

Sand

Time
Fourth dimension
Moments in trust
Let them all go
Infinite


34: Christmas

No Christmas

It’s a minority holiday
Needles drop from the old pine tree
Whatever Santa may say
Each year less present to see

It’s another year of pain
The glitter and glamour have faded
Each time coming around again
Until successfully evaded

To celebrate your own existence
Needs no manger of lights
Defy peer pressure insistence
There are no wrongs and rights


35: End of Year

Getting There

You’ll always have a seat
If you bring your own chair
Losing isn’t always beat
But shows you’re getting there


36: Begin

From The Off

If you want a happy ending
The peak that offers reward
Navigate the discomforts
The form found unexplored


37: Misgivings

The Fold

All my thinking folds in on itself*
To stand proud, solid and silent as the tree
A summer showing of greenest health
Conceals the winter dark inside of me

*https://tinyhearts.uk/2024/09/16/mowing/


38: Boundary

I Am Better

I didn’t bring a gun to a knife fight
I’ll not flash cash in a parade of wealth
I’m no better than you and no more right
I am only better than my past self


39: Delicious, Distasteful & Dimension

Moderation

A weekly wine goes down delicious
But any more would be distasteful
Visiting the drunken dimension
Throws up, to be overly wasteful


40: Afternoon Tea

The Puppet

The jar and jerk to the puppet
Are you in control of your action?
Cause yourself some calm
Sip from the cup of satisfaction


41: Weather

The Flood

Despite all our human progress
Streets ran with rivers of browny slime
Rising ever higher as if to impress
The power of nature not tempered by time


42: Revelation

The Four Divergents

Are we are righteous, acting out a virtue?
Or is there no other choice, no better outcome?
Or do we accept that this is the way of the world?
Or is this just a habit, the way we have become?

Which narrative will we use today
For each decision that comes into play?


43: Heartbeat

Flatline

There’s no time to stop, even to live
Pushed to the limit, something’s got to give
Pumping ugly muscle, pulse under pressure
Once busted it stays broken forever


44: Fallen

Stuck In Motion

If I wasn’t sitting down when the spin hit
The swirling vortex afore me would soon see me sat
Cartoon birds circle my head where I sit
Stuck in a motion that keeps me where I’m at


45: Spring

Poppy Theatre

From twisted dirt and tortured mud
Became the little field that could
Sprung the soft after the harden
The poppied theatre become the garden


46: Patience

The Wind Up

I wouldn’t wish me on anyone
Your patience put to the test
I’m in perpetual motion
You’ll never have chance to rest


47: Vibrant

Skipping School

A flourishing joy around a rope jump
Lush youth laughing and chasing
Hustle and bustle, the mad thrills pump
Energetic thoughts set hearts a-racing

Spirited shouts and sudden screaming
It’s an unharmonious harmonious noise
Fresh-faced fancies of everyday dreaming
Amongst the funky fires of the girls and boys


48: Glimpse

The Catch

We’re chasing rainbows in a clown car*
With common sense in the rearview mirror
Whilst catching a glimpse of the future
Where everything will become less clearer


49: Fortitude, Resolute & Epiphany

My Three Daughters

With my love, my daughters will grow up strong
With the wealth of the oil from the olive trees
They will rise from the ashes to where they belong
To return to their home from the river to the seas


50: Evergreen

Desire

To be rich does not require
Further addition to your stacks
When the removal of desire
Is easily the simplest tax


51: Raindrops

A Tiny Flood

Alone I cannot carry Noah
Sun soon evaporates my form
Together our mighty arms destructive
Hear the roar of our oncoming storm

Dissolved into the terrible power
Lost in the crowd of the ocean
Until it’s my time to rise again
A never-ending circular motion


52: Emergence

Ideas That Don’t Exist

You don’t exist yet
No form but aspiring
Struggle to germinate
To break the seed skin
A sprout to be set
New growth inspiring
Hollow bricks gestate
A weapon within

Today I’m feeling:

Fairly good. I got up early and out for coffee whilst also doing some reading and writing.

Amy turned up more … morning with a carrot cake that she made as a gift. Whilst there, she talked with Baew, who had stayed at Noy’s house last night and had already started drinking again!

I dropped Amy there so she could drink and talk more with her friends, picking her up again in the early evening.

During that time, I mostly just read, starting the Suspect Device book and the first story in the Marvel reading order. The first of thousands of Marvel comics! I also enjoyed Jodorowsky’s The Incal, too.

Early to bed tonight, with reading, as I head to the hospital at 7 am.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Some quiet time at home, just me and a book.

The best thing about today was:

Writing a new poem that I was happy with. I haven’t been writing quite as much recently but seem to be able to click back into it easily enough.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

One of our cats peed on the sofa last night and whiffs from it sometimes took my breath away as I was reading. Bleurgh! I’ll have to sort it out tomorrow, taking off the covers and washing them, spraying loads of deodoriser too.

Something I learned today?

Miyor, Nudee and Satang posted a story of them drinking beer last night. Naughty! I wrote to Miyor but just laughed about it.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I wished Anchan a better year ahead.

Narrative Hallucinations – 1st December 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

Data streams into the dark box
The causes not yet known
A search for the secret locks
That experience has shown

Spittin out its predictions
Before the data confirmed
Holding onto convictions
Of what’s already learned

Narrative hallucinations
Reinforce the box and harden
Exponential calculations
Grows the shadowy garden

Inspired and paraphrased by David Elikwu ‘All In Your Head’

Today I’m feeling:

Good but a little blurry, probably from the gummy yesterday. I still feel like there is a lot that I want to do today but after yesterday, I know that there won’t be enough time!

I couldn’t believe it, that not long (seemingly) after writing the above, it was already 2pm! I feel like I got some things done today, even though it was probably less than yesterday.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

Today I’m grateful for:

My student Namyen showing me how to make a quick video using CapCut. It was pretty simple in the end, though I think I need to figure out a way to make them generate a bit faster.

It’s fun, but I don’t want to spend too much time on it.

The best thing about today was:

Reading. Comics and books. 2000AD Judge Dredd, Lucifer, Platinum Grit, Totally Wired Post-punk interviews, Up Simba (David Foster Wallace).

Something I learned today?

I learned how to edit my own silly videos to post on Instagram.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I swept the entertainment area.

I took Amy and me to the 7-11 as she wanted something there and I used the opportunity for her to buy me an ice cream!

I took this picture because I felt something in my sandal and thought it was just a stone. I kicked it off and this monster came out! With two legs lost he struggled to run off in a straight line. I’m checking my shoes every time now!

Lips Shut Tight – 23rd October 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 8 Comments

Private in my thoughts
Breathe deeply with lips shut tight
Cautious of conflict
Concentrating and counting
Listen to air, push and pull

~What’s that I smell? An idea rising!~

My throat starts rattling
For a thought now fully formed
With my turn to speak
I watch you concentrating
Lips shut tight, breathing deeply

A tanka puente shared with Tanka Tuesday wordlist – listen, smell, speak

Today I’m feeling:

Good again, though waking before my alarm again, then getting back into some sleep and my alarm going off, shocking me reluctantly awake.

Last night, before I got into bed, I went outside to do some dead hangs to stretch my shoulders out. My hang rings are in the entertainment area, which is currently covered in a vine that hosts all sorts of creatures.

When I got into bed, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there were spiders crawling over me and I was itchy all over. I had some welts on my neck and arm too, so something was obviously dining on me. However, I couldn’t see anything.

I still got to sleep quickly but even this morning, I still feel itchy; maybe whatever was biting me has put an itching agent into my blood.

Today is a holiday but I was told we still need to come to school. When I got there, though, there doesn’t seem to be anyone around! Never mind. I’ll take this opportunity to do some more writing and another lesson plan.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 8

I’m wondering if I will ever move past 7 for my physical health? The daily dead hangs are helping with my shoulder and if that possibly leads to fewer problems with my neck, then just maybe…

Today I’m grateful for:

The family at the two-dollar shop who helped with a couple of plumbing supplies this week as I attempt to fix the dripping pipe under my sink.

The mum and daughter were at the counter and they looked exactly the same (except one is a child, obviously), allowing me to make the joke that they were sisters.

The best thing about today was:

Being in a good, positive mood all day. It started with a good attitude to being at school despite it seeming that many other teachers didn’t bother to hang around, then writing a poem that I particularly enjoyed the results of.

In the afternoon, when I got home, I enjoyed playing guitar more than usual and really, really loved the comics and book that I’m reading.

It’s been a good day all round.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Whatever was out of my control today completely slipped on by without my notice.

Something I learned today?

Amy’s plans for our trip to Chiang Mai on the weekend are slowly coming together and I am finding out what my chauffeur duties will be. I’m fine with everything so long as I can find an hour or so to get to a book shop or two.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I bought some fruit at the market and got an extra tray for Baipad and her family.

I took this picture because Garfield was rolling around at the entrance to school today. He(?) is really affectionate.

What Wisdom – 29th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 12 Comments

Nothing now will change the mind
Of what’s decided by mankind
For all the proofs and arguments made
The highest price is always paid

A spear for heads, a sword for hearts
In search of union, the pulled-aparts
Secrets buried for manipulation
Histories bound for exploitation

The past once written on papyrus page
Wisdom to be lent to a future age
New evidence brings into dispute
The wisest moral substitute

And one true path could be agreed
By humanity unburdened, freed
Yet as decided by mankind
Nothing now will change their mind

Submitted to No Theme Thursday (picture prompt) and Poets and Storytellers United – substitution – a meditation on the stupidity of mankind when presented with the tools for wisdom and peace.

Today I’m feeling:

Pretty good again with a little clarity. I think that is coming from the skipping of Tramadol but the other effect of that is feeling less inspired and ponderous.

So after cleaning the entertainment area and stretching out my back this morning, I took one and will see how I feel later today.

This morning feels like a winter morning with nice, clean and clear cool air and it reminds me to look forward to this time of year and think about doing some bike rides again, which I haven’t been on since last winter.

I’m surprised my body isn’t more stiff this morning, as I spent about 17 hours in bed yesterday, either sleeping or reading. I read a great Paul Jenkins story called Revelations and, despite being tired, read the whole six issues. A great Vatican murder conspiracy with awesome artwork.

Health:

Physical: 7
Mental: 7

Today I’m grateful for:

Chatting with Matt a little yesterday about maybe jamming some music together soon. To be honest, I’m a little scared as I really am hopeless at playing guitar and haven’t been excited enough to practice much recently.

I do also recognise, though, that doing something creative would give me more reason to practice and improve myself. I’m talking myself into doing it.

The best thing about today was:

Organising more things on my computer, in my room and on my blog. My old MacBook has finally given up, so I’m trying to get my music altogether on my old iMac, which is still going pretty well these days.

I was glad to spend a fair few hours in there today instead of succumbing to any afternoon snoozing.

Jet took this picture because she was messing around with my phone. One of my favourite students, Fah, and that’s Anchan working in the background.

No Life Ordinary – 17th September 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ Leave a comment

In love with trash trucks and bar signs
Dirty sidewalks and chaotic lines
Stepped on dead rats riding the rail
Soothing sirens announce a bloodied trail

A desperate reach to grab the air
The rambling mind, a heart laid bare
Spilt milk and the ding, ding, ding!
A date with disaster or a song to sing?

In love with bar signs and trash trucks
The struggle to enjoy a couple more bucks
A bustled hustle each patron employs
The sound of a memory, a beautiful noise

Shouts from the wet streets are rising
Up the five floors exercising
A cozy space amongst the debris
Dreamt by dreams, it’s no life ordinary

Inspired and phrases borrowed from this post at Spinning Visions.

Today I’m feeling:

Ok after a while but I slept badly during the night, for no apparent reason.

I thought maybe I was a little anxious about going to school today to help with cleaning up. I haven’t had this anxiety about a small, minor thing like this for a few years now and surprised to be feeling this way.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

Our local shops and the tax-free shadow economy. We can get everything we need for ourselves within walking distance.

Extra items we can order online and even shop for bigger or bulk items, we can get delivered from stores in the area too.

The best thing about today was:

I finished reading another book this morning as I was drinking my coffee before heading to school. I haven’t been reading as much this year but slowly turning away from the lure of videos and back to books.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

My feeling was weird today. After starting off anxious, as I was driving to school, I felt ok again but on arrival and seeing the mess and mud, I just felt off.

I can’t quite put my finger on why. It’s like the whole situation is depressing and I just want things to be the way they were, laughing and playing with my students.

I know this is unreasonable and against everything that I’ve been studying over the last couple of years.

It manifested after lunch in extreme exhaustion. I watched people chaotically working hard with little organisation and direction. After all, we are teachers, not a flood clean-up crew. But everyone wants to feel and be seen as contributing; it’s understandable.

Feeling dizzy and dejected, I came home and I was only a little revived after eating some dinner. I hope that I can sleep better tonight.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

I don’t feel good about not really helping to clean up the school much today.

Baibua took this picture of me because I stole her hat whilst I was chatting with her, Air and Toey as they were taking a break from cleaning.

Russian Winter – 28th August 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 2 Comments

The nesting dolls I keep inside
All are versions of me
The tears spilt alone, I cried
Just so that I could be

Happy to be on my own
Bitterly ostracised
Content just to be alone
Even when criticised

The nesting dolls built belief
It’s only now they start to care
Looking for their own relief
I’m only here because I was there

Inspired by this post at Spinning Visions

Today I’m feeling:

At first, a little better but after getting to school, I just want to sleep. Headache, cough, difficulty breathing, exhausted.

Next, to go and wait at the hospital.

Health:

Physical: 6
Mental: 6

Today I’m grateful for:

All the nurses who helped me at the hospital today so that despite having to sit around for a while it was easy to know where to go and what to do.  

One nurse accidentally flashed her soft, smooth, tanned (securely bra-ed) breast as she leaned forward and her uniform gaped a little.  I should have said something to her but opted to look away instead.

The best thing about today was:

Getting a fair bit of book reading in. I’m finally at the last chapter of The Decline of the British Empire, which I’ve been reading since January. I’m looking forward to getting back to some fiction.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Waiting at the hospital – number 260 in the queue.  Thankfully, they were already at the 140 mark and were also randomly putting people through.  The delay for me was more connected with waiting for a doctor who could speak English.  

I spent my time catching up with Substack reads.

Something I learned today?

Having read a lot of SubStack stuff I should have learned something today…hmm… I saw some pretty horrendous pictures of Israeli crimes but sadly, that is nothing new these days. 

I did see some information that Starbucks is losing lots of money due to people boycotting it because of its connections to Israel. 

I took this picture because the little one is on a rope now and can’t get into our scrumptious grass anymore. Here they are with mum, next to the fence where the gardeners had dumped all the cuttings.

Shadowman – 30th June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 5 Comments
Englehart

Wound tight, played precise
A night fight, all that jazz
Voodoo spell, doll will dance
Deadside hell and razzmatazz
Pagan sages, a ragtime roll
Inner rages in shadow hours
Pinprick pain, man divided
Ridden insane by fiendish powers

Inspired by the original run of the Shadowman comic. Submitted to FOWC with Fandango – tight and precise along with the Word of the Day Challenge – jazz

Bennu is a Heron 2023全新EP -「despite the world is so big, but not a corner belongs to me」現已上線。
四曲自我記錄忠實呈現，獻給2019 – 2022的我們，祝好。

Home, Sweet Home
「未曾問你來自哪裡。」
關於家，關於身份，關於歸屬，關於靈魂的容納之處。

Injurer
「你還像從前那般？」
關於憤怒，關於立場，關於公義，關於變成曾經憎恨的人。

My Dream
「昨晚睡得好嗎？」
關於愛，關於記憶，關於留戀，關於每一個不眠之夜。

Fairy Tale
「你啟程後，不會再回來了吧。」
關於海，關於浪漫，關於自我，關於不設限的未知旅程。

實體將於10月發售

Vinyl release is a DIY worldwide co-operative with:
Desperate Infant Records
Qiii Snacks Records
Sango Records
ungulates
22 Records
Calm Lake Records
tenzenmen
Gizzmoix Records 

Originally digitally released by Sango Records @sangorecords and Desperate Infant Records @desperate.infant.records
Recording by 伟松&拓坤@RC Studio, Nam@Zhuying Studio and Sam@Home
Mixing / Mastering by Brian@Sound Blade Studio
Artwork by Jumpgate, Saki, Yellow and Jinbo

Bennu is a Heron (Guangzhou, China)
贝努是只苍鹭，来自广州的 Skramz / Emoviolence 乐团，由多支 Hardcore 乐团的乐手组成。 以所见、所闻、所想为出发点，直白陈述内心情绪。
Vocal – Jinbo
Guitars – Sam & Joe
Bass – Gao
Drums – Chal

Today I’m feeling:

Still a little dusty and vague. Predictably, last night I didn’t sleep well as indigestion bothered my stomach and the oysters bothered my guts. 

A really vivid poop dream got me out of bed as the oysters decided to make their early exit and it was a struggle to get a good deep sleep after that.

Today I’m grateful for:

Starting to feel normal again this evening.  Even early this afternoon I could still taste Friday night’s whiskey in my mouth.  This evening I seem to have my energy and motivation back after pushing through with a few things this afternoon.

The best thing about today was:

Sorting things out this afternoon for the Bennu 12” release and the upcoming MPC CD, downloading some comics, listening to some tunes and playing a bit of guitar.  I have to try and force myself into my room this week to play some more.  No book reading again this weekend sadly.  I really want to read more but seem more invested in YouTubing.  I’m going to turn off the video I’m about to watch and read instead.

Something I learned today?

Watching the Swans mini-match I found out that we lost by one point in a poor game.  Hopefully, it keeps us from being complacent.

I took this picture because I needed a shot to put on Bandcamp to try and sell this latest release from Bennu Is A Heron.

Get It Together – 22nd June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 1 Comment

Got a head barren of motivation
What’s said only delivers frustration
Not dead but denied inspiration
Get it together or you’re done!

Emo-driven tears an aberration
Forgotten fears sudden implication
Perspective clears internal narration
You got skills but the bills are due!

Each turmoil treads towards education
Lessons learned have no expiration
Third eyes open to the realisation
Time to shine because the rains will come!

Submitted to Ovi Poetry Challenge 53 and inspired by one of my students who is trying hard at school but is close to getting kicked out.

Today I’m feeling:

Woke up tired but got going with Utopia coffee. Game was there and commiserated with me when I told him and Art that I couldn’t hang around as Amy had me quickly home for us to go to meet Mei and Hagan for lunch. I still managed to get a little reading in though, starting Rip It Up And Start Again again.

Today I’m grateful for:

Mei and Hagan for shouting us lunch at Mo’s (near Mae Sai). Good food and good catch-up, probably the last before they head back to Australia.

The best thing about today was:

Whilst out in the village in the evening I went across to the 20 baht shop, which was closed in the morning, and picked up some batteries and a door closer. I saw that KhaoThang was sitting in her mum’s shop so I went in and chatted with her and her mum for a minute. 

Her English pronunciation is awesome now, though her vocabulary is still limited as she studies in a Science program rather than language.

They told me that they will close the shop in December and mum will go to a temple in Phan and KT will stay in a dorm near her school (Tessaban 6). She’s only 14 but its quite common here.  Good luck to them both.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Somehow it feels hotter than it did in summer. It still hasn’t rained, two weeks now, so our new gutter is still untested. 

After the first rain, a month or more ago, it felt cooler and refreshing and now the temperature has remained the same but the humidity seems to have skyrocketed. It’s pretty tiring but despite some huffing and puffing, I’m still trying not to complain out loud.

The heat did stop me from going to my room today though. I could’ve still gone but I couldn’t even really face getting up out of the air-conned living room to get a drink of water.

Something I learned today?

I came across a Roy and HG documentary and it made me reminisce a lot about my early years in Australia and then even more so when there were clips of The Dream which was the show they did during the Sydney Olympics. That was still a memorable prime time in my life.

I found a load of videos on YT which I stuck in the queue to watch at some point.

Review your acts, Good and bad.

Around 7pm Amy wanted to go to the market to get some soy milk, implying that I had to ride her there. I still didn’t want to get out but eventually, I did.

I took this picture at Mo’s because I finally remembered to take some pictures today. I knew this one was going to look good when I took it.

Good Book – 3rd June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

Prepared with a pocketful of prose
The book sprang legs!
Patient and potent, I cannot pull away
The word holds me, the world begs

The porch story-teller
Remembers not to forget
Making metaphors, I’m nostalgic
For something that hasn’t happened
Yet

Innocence gone up in flames
Living mosaics of everyone
And everything ever loved
A good book, once ended
Has begun

Inspired, borrowed and paraphrased from this post at Spinning Visions
20th Sep 2025 – Shared with Poets and Storytellers United #195

Today I’m feeling:

So-so.  Despite thinking that I might get up at my usual time of 6am I slept for another couple of hours.  I feel less tired than yesterday but still not ready for action.

I did feel inspired enough to bring my laptop to Utopia and caught up on some poetry reading and a little writing.  I may do some more lesson planning.  I should, but I also may not!

Today I’m grateful for:

My old friends from When Chimps Attack.  I messaged Tommy recently after he had posted a picture of himself and Aaron at a show in Sydney.

Tommy had been in London for the past ten years or so but he said things were so grim there now that he came back but that he was struggling a little bit on his return too.  I told how I had felt there back in October – pretty similar.

Tommy also passed on Aaron’s email address and I wrote him today and look forward to hearing from him.

I know Jon and Ama live in Sydney again and wondering if Aaron has moved back too?  A Chimps reunion?

The best thing about today was:

Playing guitar after a couple of days break.  I managed to improve a little on last time and I felt good for that.

What was out of your control today and how did you handle it?

Around 4pm I went out to my room to catch up on some emails and play guitar.  Amy came out about ten minutes later and propositioned me.

As I had just sat down to do something else I was hardly in the mood, and these days I’m less in the mood a lot of the time.

My libido is definitely dropping off and I have no thoughts of looking elsewhere for satisfaction.  I love Amy and am committed to her but it’s not easy for me to just put myself in the mood these days. This is not helped by Amy usually propositioning when she has been drinking which isn’t very flattering for me.  Are beer goggles needed to look upon me now?

Having said that, when the time is right for both of us I still have the best orgasms that I’ve ever had with her.

Sadly, today she seems to be offended by my rejection and has locked herself in the second bedroom and won’t even communicate anything.  I was frustrated enough to try and kick the door in but gave up, considering that it would make things worse.

What happens next when she comes out?  I will try to just behave as normal and ignore her actions and try to smooth things over when she has calmed down.

Something I learned today?

All the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are set to 4:20.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I gave candy to both Art’s at Utopia this morning.

Whilst I was there Amy called me because I had taken the car as I had planned to do some work at Utopia and wasn’t sure if it would rain or not.  Amy suddenly decided to go for a spa and massage and needed the car immediately, so I drove back home and swapped over to the motorbike to go back to my coffee.

I took this picture because I’m trying to get this plant to grow over the top of the old roof frame. With the rain, it will grow like crazy and I just need to keep going along the beams.

One Step – 1st June 2024

~ shaun tenzenmen ~ 6 Comments

In the maze presented ahead each day
Unable to navigate true
It is possible to get completely lost

But there is always someone who
Will find you and take you by the hand
And guide you back to your bed
A breadcrumb trail in the form of a friend
Keeping you one step ahead

Today I’m feeling:

Happy and relaxed.  Enjoyed a lazy sleep-in listening to the light rain outside this morning.  

After coffee, I did some work and catching up on emails and then in the afternoon got sucked into watching music reaction videos.

Today I’m grateful for:

Quiet (as such).  No one else around, nothing specifically to do, nowhere to be.

The best thing about today was:

I picked up my book to start reading at midday but then started watching videos and did a little weeding and tidying up in the garden (maybe 20 minutes max!) and it was about 6pm when I actually got to read!  

I finished the chapter about Africa up until about the start of the Second World War and the rise of the anti-colonialist movements there.

Something I learned today?

Nicha sent me a heart message this morning.  I’m assuming that means she’s doing ok.

Review your acts, and then for vile deeds chide yourself, for good be glad. — Discourses 3.10

I sent a follow-up message to Aida though don’t expect her to answer as she doesn’t usually respond on the weekends.  I will try and talk some more with her next week though.

I also encouraged the students who did reading for me and that I listened to this morning. I love to see the kids improve their reading skills but it is definitely a chore to listen to the same text over and over!